I'm back! Thank you all for the kind reviews and faves and follows! Here's a new and... Unexpected chapter for you... Wow, what a way to come back after a week of no updates... Please, guys, don't kill me for this. I literally cried so hard writing this that my mom asked me why my eyes were swollen. I hated doing this, but it was necessary... I'm so sorry... Please don't kill me... *sobs*
Cornflower (Guest): thank you! I know, I hate it when people don't reply to reviews. It seems rude, somehow... I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, please enjoy this one- oh wait, maybe not... Yeah, I can imagine that was a compliment... ;) my dad's nickname for me is 'elfling' *rolls eyes good-naturedly* and you are most welcome for the suggestion... Hope it worked~!
WARNING: Character death rather violent and may cause disturbing mental images. Discretion required. Rated M/PG-13. I HATE MYSELF!
Chapter 28
The next day was set aside for the farewells. Eruanna woke up that morning with a heavy heart, feeling it like a block of lead within her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. She sighed, fingering the hem of her nightgown in her fingers.
The Dunedaìn would leave for the North to bring their people to Minias Tirith, Aragorn and Arwen with them. The Galadhrim would go to back to Lothlòrien to say farewells to their own homes, those who wished to leaving for the Grey Havens. Galadriel, also, would be going to Lindon to take a ship into the West.
The Elves of Rivendell, Elrond, his wife, their sons, Erestor, and Lindir among them, would go back to Imladris to say their final farewells to their home and prepare for their last journey across Arda to the Harbors. Of course, Glorfindel and by default Eruanna was among their group.
Legolas and Gimli, of course, were going to follow their plans and go to Eryn Lasgalen and Erebor.
Eruanna pulled herself out of her bedroll, going almost mechanically through her ablutions. Glorfindel was already up and off somewhere, most likely saying his own farewells. They had agreed the night before to go their own ways and meet at eve for the evening meal.
Eruanna closed her eyes with a weary sigh, placing a hand on her temples. Could she really say farewell to Estel and Ciaran? The thought of separating from either of them, never to meet again, was like a sword plunging through her heart. Her knees nearly gave out at the pain that lanced through her heart, tears beading in her eyes as she winced. She rubbed her chest, every breath like shards of ice piercing her soul, shredding her throat and rendering her speechless.
But she finally gathered the courage, moving out of the tent. Ciaran had asked her to meet him when she could, and he would give her the chest as a 'gift, since he had no heir.' She took a deep breath, wending her way slowly through the tents. She supposed she would give her farewells to whoever she met first, merely wandering about aimlessly and seeing who she would stumble across first.
She was dressed in a simple gown that was deep, royal blue, edged with golden celandine, but with a silver tree, the symbol of Gondor, embroidered in the center of it. Her necklace sat on her throat, and her ring sat on her finger. Her feet were bare.
Eruanna was just wandering aimlessly, thoughts drifting, when she suddenly realized that two men were staring at her. Her eyes cleared, and she smiled at them, moving forwards towards where they sat. They stood, but she waved a hand at them and they sat down, dirty blonde and dark hair mingling. She sat down next to them, patting Halladan's hand. He gave her a small smile, which she returned, also sending one to Borongil who nodded to her.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, my lady. Father spoke highly of you." Halladan said, looking down at his hands. Eruanna sighed, and her ring sent her speech into the air faintly.
"I grieve with you. He had a place in my heart as well. I wish you and your family well." She said softly, and they both smiled at her slightly.
"I- I wished to give this to you in gratefulness for all that you have done..." Halladan's voice faltered as he held out something to her, which she took with reverence. She looked down at it, and felt herself involuntarily smile. It was a figure of a wolf, carved carefully and the size of her palm. The jaws were parted, tongue lolling and eyes carefully carved as well. She could almost see the life in it, see the fur rippling as it ran. She closed her eyes, feeling the carefully sanded wood under her fingers, and then looked up at him with tears of gratefulness in her eyes.
Halladan looked surprised. Then he smiled. "You are welcome, my lady." He said softly, and she stood, dropping them a deep curtesy. They stood and bowed, and she left, clutching the little figure in her hands as she continued her vague wanderings. The next place she found herself was at Legolas and Gimli's camp. Her farewells to them, she knew, would not be as painful as others, for she knew that she would see Legolas again. The two were also sitting down, looking somewhat morose, or at least serious.
Eruanna dropped herself into Legolas' lap and he started, then hugged her with a half-hearted chuckle. "Well, I suppose that we will also say our farewells for a while, hmm penneth?" He asked, and she smiled slightly.
Then she turned to Gimli, giving him a smile and then curtsying. Gimli, flustered, stood and bowed. "Fare thee well, lock-bearer, and may Mahal bless you." Her voice, faint, floated on the winds as her ring strained to convey her thought. The dwarf inclined his head.
"Indeed, my lady, fare you well. I thank you for your gift." He said, and then petered off. Eruanna then smiled at Legolas, and with a heartfelt hug, left once more.
She couldn't quite tell how or after how long, but for some reason she found that she was in Aragorn's tent vicinity. She froze, unsure of how to think or what to do, warring between fleeing and staying. The tent flap opened and Aragorn strode out, suddenly noticing her there with the stricken look on her face.
He sighed, and then knelt, and she walked into his outstretched arms. Eruanna buried her face into his shoulder, feeling her heart constrict within her chest and squeeze tears onto her cheeks.
*Estel. Estel-* Was all she could find to say, breaking off in the middle of her sentence as her voice cracked. Aragorn's arms tightened around her.
"I will never forget you, Eruanna." Aragorn whispered in her ear. She broke, wrapping her arms around him and weeping into his shoulder. Her heart ached.
*I love you, Estel. I love you.* She cried, shaking. Wetness grew in her hair, and she knew that Aragorn was weeping. *I tired, but I couldn't. I tried- but I- I couldn't-*
He understood. "I know." His voice shook. "I know, Eruanna. I, also, tried, but I couldn't stop myself- from- loving the elves..."
Eruanna felt miserable. Her heart was cracking, and she could feel a new gash open in her feä. She was shaking, unwilling and at the moment unable to let go of Aragorn. Aragorn, it seemed, was unwilling to let her go as well. Arwen peeped out of the tent flap and then retreated, tears in her eyes from the sight.
But finally she hiccuped, stemming her tears with extreme difficulty. *G-good bye, Estel. I will always love you.* She said, voice forlorn and exhausted.
Aragorn pulled back, tears shimmering in his liquid green eyes. "Farewell, Eruanna. I shall miss you and always remember you." He promised, resting his forehead against hers. She sighed, and then reached up to kiss his cheek tenderly, lingeringly. He sighed shakily and pressed a kiss to her cheek gently, and then she ripped herself away. They stared at each other for another moment, memorizing the other's face, remembering that last moment.
Then they shared one last smile. There was no use in saying anything. Memories had already been shared, and they had spoken last words. Then together, at the same time, they stood and then turned away, taking those final steps that would take them away from each other for the final time.
One last time- I need to be the one to hold you. One more time- I promise, after that, I'll let you go. Just allow me- one more time- just once more...
Eruanna sat down hard, tears streaming down her cheeks, not caring where she was or who saw her. She had said goodbye to her Estel for the last time. She would most likely never see him again. Never, for no one knows what shall happen to the elves after the Dagor Dagorath.
She had so many memories: of their first meeting, of the nights that they spent in Elladan and Elrohir's rooms conked out after a night of laughing themselves silly, of pranking all of Imladris and annoying Erestor, of dragging Glorfindel off on another adventure about the borders of the city- of giving him a kiss of farewell whenever he would leave to go back to Rohan or Minias Tirith.
She belatedly realized that someone was picking her up, looking up through her tears to see Ciaran looking at her with sympathetic concern. She nearly screamed, doubling over in pain as another rip was torn into her feä. Ciaran hurriedly carried her over to his tent, opening the flap and sitting down on his bedroll, cradling her gently as she sobbed into his shoulder.
She clawed at his vest with the emblem of the white tree. *Ciaran. Master. Father.* She cried out within his mind, unable to see, unable to do anything but feebly attempt to gouge out her heart.
Ciaran sighed, hugging her tenderly as she slowly wound down, hiccuping with her eyes red and trembling. "Eruanna." He said gently, voice thick with tears as he stroked her hair softly.
"I love you, Eruanna, daughter." He whispered voice breaking, and Eruanna fought the tears to no avail. "I know I must give it to you but... Not now. Just- just for a moment longer- let me hold you... Just once..." He stopped rocking back and forth. It was Eruanna's turn to hold him as he cried out his years of loneliness, of pain, of suffering and pent-up emotion. Then it all quieted as his wracking sobs died down. Ciaran sighed shakily. Eruanna kissed his cheek gently.
Then he stood, setting her down, and brought the chest to her. "I will not open it, for it is yours and yours alone. I do not want to know." He told her, and she nodded. Then he hesitated.
"I- I cannot say everything, so I wrote it." He said, handing her a roll of paper. She took it, clasping it to her heart.
*Thank you, master. Ciaran.* She thanked him with a small smile, and he returned it. Barely.
Then she stood, and Ciaran picked up the chest, both of them walking to her tent. When he had put it in their tent, they paused, Eruanna setting down the letter and carving on her bedroll. Then she turned to him. They stood there, staring at each other. Ciaran closed his eyes, as did Eruanna, and they just breathed.
Just stood there, and breathed. Lived, for one last time. Lived, and died, and then went on living again. *Farwell, master... Father...* She whispered.
"Farewell, my dearest." For one more time, his arms wrapped around her. A pair of lips pressed to her cheek, stubble scratching her skin in pleasurable pain. "Goodbye, sweetheart." He whispered, and then there was nothing but air blowing across her as she sank to her knees, eyes seeing nothing. Never again, never again would she love any human. Not any immortal. None. And a part of her withered and died forever, a wilted flower that dropped its petals to the dirt.
And in its empty place, a new seed was planted, though it didn't grow for a long, long time.
LOTRLOTRLOTR
Again, it was morning, and Aragorn and the Dunedaìn were leaving. Eruanna still wore the sigil e-hered under her skirt, watching along with others as they left. Aragorn bowed his head, no words being spoken, and then turned to leave. Ciaran rode next to his King, hand on the hilt of his sword, face expressionless. But his eyes lingered on Eruanna, and she met his sizzling blue ones. Then she looked away, tears gathering thickly in her eyes.
And then, a flash of panic rushed through her. There was a warning shout. A scream. Eruanna looked up.
And everything slowed for her. She saw Ciaran's eyes widen, and he clapped a hand to his chest. Her heart faltered. Then he lunged forwards, pushing Aragorn off of his horse. And then, there was blood.
Eruanna crumpled. A scream clawed its way to her throat as she fell to the ground, rattling her voice box in excruciating pain. Her vision blurred as something in her mind snapped painfully, backlashing against her feä and ripping it nearly in half. A bond frayed dangerously, tattered beyond repair. It hurt so badly that she was afraid she wouldn't be able to resume breathing.
Flashes of color surrounded her, muffled shouts and the clang of steel entered her ears, but all she could see was Ciaran lying there on the ground where he had fallen, an arrow piercing his chest.
She began to crawl. Slowly, she crawled. She was not aware of the elves all around her, or anything of the sort. Nothing. Just pain. That's all she knew that existed. She could taste it on her tongue, thick and rusty.
Her mind began to go fuzzy as she finally reached Ciaran's side. He looked to her, eyes clouded and dark with pain, a trickle of blood running down the side of his mouth. She collapsed, tears running down her cheeks. No. It wasn't happening. She didn't believe it. She could feel herself slipping away, as surely as Ciaran's blood that pooled around her, staining her dress, making her legs slick with the sticky liquid.
Then everything went silent. Aragorn collapsed at Ciaran's side, as well as Glorfindel. Ciaran's voice was raspy. "My King? Are they- are the Easterlings-?" He couldn't go on, and Aragorn stopped him.
"Yes. Thanks to you, my friend, they are gone, and no one else is dead." Aragorn said softly and gently, attempting to reach for his Ciaran's chest where the arrow protruded, thick and right above his heart, but Ciaran stopped him, shaking his head. Aragorn looked stricken. Glorfindel winced as he saw his sister, covered in blood, even her hair spattered with it. She didn't seem to care.
"Good. Then- then my life is forfeit. I give it for my King. I will be happy to- to go-" Ciaran's breath caught and then dragged on. Eruanna didn't move. She just sat there, nearly mad from pain and grief. His hand reached out, and found hers, grasping it and bringing it to his lips.
"Do not cry, my lady. I am satisfied. Forgive me, dear heart." He whispered. "I love you." He said, his breathing becoming labored. Elves stood around, silent in respect for the one who had sacrificed his life. Eruanna clasped his hand weakly, shaking like a leaf and laying her head against his chest, wetting it with her tears.
"B-bury me with it." He rasped, pressing the sapphire against her hand. Her fingers clasped around it numbly, her mind slowly shutting down. "Do not follow me, Eruanna." He managed, and then smiled at them, one last time, closing his eyes. "The chest is yours, my dear daughter of heart. Forgive me, my King."
"No, my friend. Forgive me. Thank you." Aragorn said, and kissed Ciaran's brow, tears falling upon his face. Then Ciaran sighed, his face smoothing into a peaceful expression. And a last breath of air escaped his lips before everything fell silent. Too silent.
The bond snapped. Eruanna stopped breathing. Then she gasped, and began to shake violently, clawing at the ground. She didn't care who saw as she threw back her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. She stood, covered in blood, and staggered, clutching her head and gasping for breath. Mithrandir lunged forwards, dropping his staff to clutch at her.
But she escaped his grasp, spinning away as a sudden light erupted across the field. A scream filled the air, anguished beyond measure. Elves paled. Aragorn nearly collapsed, clutching his ears. The scream went on, morphing into unbearable despair and grief until it cut off abruptly, the light disappearing.
Glorfindel gasped, and everyone looked up. Eruanna sat there on the ground, her eyes looking at them but seeing nothing. Her blue-green eyes were almost pitch black, and her expression was terrible to see. Then she wavered and collapsed, red beginning to pool around her head. Glorfindel and Gandalf leaped forwards.
Glorfindel scooped her up, and immediately his face blanked. Eruanna's heartbeat was slow and sluggish, her breath shallow, her eyes closed in a comatose state, and a trickle of blood running down the side of her mouth from her shredded throat. Her mind was clouded with pain, unresponsive and blank.
Glorfindel shook. "Mithrandir-"
Gandalf took her from him, placing a hand on her forehead and muttering furiously. Then he stopped, shaking his head. "She's fading. Rapidly. The breaking of the bond was too much for her, combined with the leaving of Aragorn and the sea longing. She will live, but not for very much longer, Glorfindel. She needs to sail." Gandalf said firmly. "She will not stop fading now. I give her five months like this before she is utterly gone."
And for once, Glorfindel wept, not caring who saw. Celébrian and Arwen were sobbing, while the rest looked stricken. Then Glorfindel gathered himself.
"Take her, Olòrin." He whispered. "Take her, Mithrandir. I cannot go yet- but you must take her with you when you leave." He said more loudly, and Gandalf bowed his head.
"So be it."
And so it was, and Glorfindel wept bitterly.
LOTRLOTRLOTR
Nienna was weeping, hard. All of the Valiër, in fact, were teary, while the Valar were somber. They gathered but said nothing, merely shaking their heads and comforting the Valiër. Only Nàmo seemed to be the calmest of them all.
Manwë's lips thinned. "This is unexpected." He said tensely. "I did not expect Glorfindel to feel that his duty lay in staying behind with Elladan and Elrohir. That is... Unexpected, to say the least." He sighed, shaking his head.
"With Glorfindel, you never know." Varda stated categorically, and they all nodded in agreement.
"But at least now I can fulfill my plans for her without fear of Glorfindel for a while yet." Nàmo said with a thin smile, which was returned.
"Indeed- and so she comes." Manwë said softly, and then fell silent.
When the Valar dispersed, Varda remarked that Nàmo had seemed rather callously calm, though she supposed that it was only because he saw such a thing often.
Only Manwë knew how much Nàmo grieved, for had he not held Nàmo in his arms as he wept bitterly over Frodo and Sam, and now Eruanna?
