Hey guys! I am super excited for you to see what I have in store for you in this story in the future~ But for now, to the responses!

In response to:

Guest: Thank you! I'm happy I could make you smile!

Forbidden Moons: Like I said before… I'm really excited for you to see what's in store!

DelphiniumSweets: Yeah that's gonna suck. Finding out that the girl you have a crush on just forgets all about you would be harsh. Lmao I'd be scared if I was Kalluto, but his brother was about to be killed and the way I see it, Kallu loves the shit outta Killua. RIP in pieces Kallu!

Mi-Chan: Yeah, things are getting pretty poopy for Fei, he has no way of feeling pleasure, meaning both his sadism and the pleasure he found in Lucius. I'd be pissed if I were him!

Rinrikapyon: Thank you so much, I'm glad you loved it! I first thought people would hate the fact that she lost her memory, but it's big for the plot. And d'awww, you're too nice! here's more of that shit you wanted~


Chapter 29

...Love?

Feitan crinkles his nose, throwing his art book across his bedroom while falling onto his back on his bed.

Is that what caused this increasing sense of dread that pounded in his chest? If so, he wants to tell himself that he doesn't want it.

But he can't.

Why is the idea of him and Lucius being close sound so appealing to him?

He can admit, only after spending time alone with her in her bedroom while she spoke to him, that the girl wasn't as annoying as he thought she was before. Her light teasing was only meant to be playful, just like any time that he and Shalnark ever teased Phinks. Sure it would piss him off, but he and Shalnark always found enjoyment in it; and Phinks never held grudges against them.

And although Feitan would get angry, he and Lucius only seemed to get closer after such interactions. And she was always kind to him. She never feared him. And she'd laugh when he was angry. It wasn't annoying laughter, but it was always just a little chuckle. And she'd smile.

He groans and itches his eyes, staring out into the ray of sunlight that emits from the window above him, highlighting all the specs of glittering dust above his head.

Of course, her smile would vanish so quickly, and she'd return to something like an emotionless shell.

God, he can't get her out of his head. And, he figures he never will since all he hears when he leaves his room is her name being spoken.

All the Shadowmen are concerned about is getting Lucius back, and Chrollo promised them that the Troupe would help in the search, and so far neither of the groups had come up with any plan that could prove to be successful.

He won't be able to avoid any thoughts of her.

If that's the case…

He rises from his bed and throws on his clothes before leaving his room silently.


Her own stomach growling awakens her. She lets out a small moan before opening her eyes.

She finds herself quite comfortable and she also finds that she is able to move more without hurting herself too badly. When she sits up from her laying position, she is a bit shocked to see that she was left unrestrained on what seems to be a queen size bed.

Her vision is still blurred, but beside her, she can see two small figures sitting on the floor.

They appear to be two children playing a card game.

One of the figures, who is wearing green, stands upon noticing that she is awake.

"Oh, hi! We were waiting for you to wake up!"

The other one, who has white hair, stands as well. Lucius notices that he avoids making eye contact with her, or looking at her in general.

She thinks very carefully before reacting.

She figures that she must be careful in this situation. The room she is in could be monitored, and the blonde boy could be listening in on their conversation.

She replies to the boy quietly. "...Hello."

The boy climbs up and sits on the end of the bed, beaming at her.

"Is your head feeling any better?"

Strange, she had nearly forgotten about her head injury. The only thing she can feel that throbs on her body is her spine.

She slowly and hesitantly lifts her hand to feel the bandages wrapped around her head.

"...Yes." She replies. "I can.. barely feel it."

"That's good! Oh, I'm Gon by the way!" The boy motions to the other boy standing beside him"This is Killua." He laughs. "Kurapika told me that your name is Lucius."

Lucius scans the room for the blonde boy. Gon notices her sudden alert and he lets out a nervous chuckle.

"Ah, oh, yeah. You see, you don't need to be afraid of him. I'm sorry he attacked you…" He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "He sorta has problems and… well, now that you don't remember anything, it's pointless for him to hurt you."

"If that is the case, am I allowed to leave?"

"Well… not really."


Gon is surprised to see that the bad news had no effect on the girl at all. Her facial expression remained flat and emotionless.

"You see, you were working with some really bad people and we can't let you leave and have them find you, because you could tell them where we are or anything like that."

The girl seems to think over his words for a minute before responding again.

Although her expression remains emotionless, she speaks with an ounce of pain in her voice that Killua doesn't seem to notice. She speaks to him with a noticeable accent that she tries hard to hide

"You… you do not understand." She grips the comforter. "I could tell you about things that happened when I was young… I do not remember anything else." Gon can tell that the girl is trying her best to tell the complete truth. "I know these things are in the past…" She pauses to think for a moment. "But assuming my situation at my home has not changed, I must leave, or I will face consequences."

Gon smiles. "I'm sure your family is very worried, and I'm sorry-"

"No." she interrupts him firmly. "You do not understand, I must leave now or the consequences will only be worse in the future."

Gon sighs.

Suddenly Killua stands from beside him and moves to the door.

"Killua, where are you-"

"She means that if she's gonna go home, someone's gonna hurt her."

Gon is taken aback by this.

Killua walks out the door, and Gon turns to look at the girl.

Her eerie expression has not changed.

He shifts nervously.

"U-Um… just ignore him! You see, he fought you and stuff and you didn't really leave a good impression on him either… b-but that's okay! Since you forgot and we know that you won't hurt us or anything, you can have a fresh start!"

She gives him a sort of curious look.

"How do you know that I will not hurt you?"

He blinks and he thinks for a moment. He hasn't thought about that at all!

"Well…" He fumbles over his words. "If you wanted to hurt me, I would think that you would have done it by now."

She looks down.


That is true. She couldn't hurt him now even if she tried.

Although she had thought that it was the fault of her injury, even after recovering a bit she finds that she cannot use her Nen.

It's not that she has forgotten how to use Nen either.

She just can't unleash it.

She changes the subject to avoid questioning.

"Your friend is smart, but I am afraid that it is not the case."

She lied.

Although she would love for them to believe that she was weak so that she could attack when her Nen returns, she finds that she would rather talk to this boy without him looking down upon her.

At home with her father, she remembers that she had little to no interactions with children (although she knows that by now she has aged quite a bit) and there is something in the innocent eyes of this child that reminds her of someone…

Someone she can't remember.

"Well that would be bad if someone would hurt you… then I would ask Kurapika if you could stay with us forever!"

...Stay?

She looks down at her hands which lay on her lap.

If she stayed, would she be free? No longer would she need to service her father and she could avoid the beatings that Gaku would give her if she misbehaved.

But would Kurapika hate her?

Would it be considered betrayal if she stayed? Would it be betrayal to tell them all that she remembers and live freely with them?

"...Gon, was it?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry that I hurt your friends."

But, there was the fact that she did live in what is considered the upper-class in society. She was never left unfed unless she misbehaved. She was never left alone, always accompanied by a butler or maid unless she misbehaved. She was allowed to walk out in the garden only when accompanied by a maid, butler or her father as long as she never misbehaved.

Is that considered a good life to normal people?

But when she did misbehave…

"That's okay now!"

She is slightly shocked to hear the boy say this. He continues.

"If you promise to not do all that bad stuff, you're welcome to live with us until you gain all of your memories again! That way, you'll be living a clean life, and you can tell us all the stuff you remember about the bad guys you were hanging around with and… we'll be friends too!"

She furrows a brow.

This boy definitely reminds her of someone she knows…

So innocent and bright.

But a bit naive…

She needs to remember.

"You do realize… I could be lying… right?"

"I know, but I feel like you're trustworthy."

What is this? Reverse psychology? He is so confident that she will not betray him. She almost pities him for being so trusting.

She sighs.

"How can I prove to your friend that I promise that I will not betray you?"

She needs to be strategic about this. Even if they end up hating her, she would be promised a free life if she told them everything.

"Well… my friend Melody can tell when people are lying from their heartbeats!"


"...What was that, Feitan? Could.. you repeat?"

"Tell me what love is like."

Phinks itches his scalp, looking down at the smaller spider in disbelief.

He had never thought that Feitan would have taken him seriously, even if Phinks was truthfully dead serious as he was when he had told him the other night.

"Um.. well.." Phinks stares back at Feitan, who is glaring daggers at him. "Would you rather come inside and do this in private instead of out in the fucking hallway?"

Feitan nods and Phinks sighs, swinging his bedroom door open so that Feitan can slip inside.

Feitan then takes a seat on his bed.

"I didn't think you'd admit it…" Phinks slides over a chair from near the closet to his right and sits on it backwards.

Feitan looks away crossing his arms, seemingly angry and flustered.

"Just… tell me what it like."

"Um… well…" How the hell should he know? He just knows that he thinks Rei is really hot and kind of nice sometimes, how does he explain that to Feitan, the tiny torturer who's basically the embodiment of hatred? "Well… when you like someone- er um, love someone… it can kinda suck sometimes. But for the most part, it's nice. For example… one person will give the other affection to make the other happy or sometimes all they have to do is talk and you just feel happy to hear them talk. Sometimes the other person is really attractive… I mean, Lucius is cute… when she's not being weird… right?"

Feitan seems to frown.

"What that supposed to mean?"

Phinks didn't expect such sudden defense from him.

"Uh well I mean, sometimes she creeps me out because she's so silent and she just kind of stares… but, she's cute right? She's a cute tiny… frilly… girl."

Honestly, Phinks is convinced that Feitan's a lolicon. With how short Lucius is and how she dresses like a doll, you'd expect pedophiles to be all over her, as she is older than she looks. But, all Feitan has been doing since the girl disappeared was mope, so he had to stay positive to avoid a pissy Feitan; and a pissy Feitan is never fun.

Feitan looks down.

"I guess... "

"So you agree?"

Feitan just grumbles and looks to the side again. Phinks can notice a bit of a blush appearing on the bridge of his nose. He can't help but smile.

"I can't help you if you're going to be difficult, Fei."

Feitan snaps.

"I said yes! I said yes so you stop asking now!"

Phinks laughs and holds out his hands, attempting to calm the frustrated spider.

"Okay, okay! So that just means that you're attracted to her. It's okay it's normal. Now that we got that down, we can get into other business." Phinks cracks his knuckles and prepares for another one of Feitan's angry rants. "So.. would you say that she makes you happy?"

Surprisingly, Feitan is not angered by this.

"She make me angry but… I like listening to her."

Phinks is almost stunned to get a completely honest answer out of him. He lets Feitan continue.

"She not stupid like most girls Chrollo flirt with. She never angry at me. I not able to annoy her. That what make me angry."

Phinks chuckles nervously.

"I might not be the best person to talk to about this… maybe you should talk to Chrollo."

Feitan just nods.

Suddenly, Phinks gets a grand idea.

"Hey Fei?"

"Hm?"

"Would you ever get in bed with Lucius?"

A devious smile grows on Phinks's face as he watches Feitan's expression go from gentle confusion, to hostility.

"I go to Chrollo alone!"

Feitan slams Phinks's bedroom door shut behind him, nearly knocking it off of its hinges.

Phinks chuckles to himself.