They had found it, the lost cup of a myth barely anyone knew about. That was due in large part to its more famous cousin, but it still didn't take away from the fact they had discovered something extraordinary. In their possession was the Unholy Grail and its power was beyond mortal comprehension.

Or at least that's what the plaque said.

Once the two dark-haired teens had managed to not drink the contents in the cup—and plunge themselves into another passionate wrestling match—the two had found a plaque hanging on the cave wall behind the stand from which the grail had been sitting on. From what Videl read from it, it named the cup the Unholy Grail, claimed it was from a myth that no one had ever heard about it—which proved that Caroni and Piroshki were right about it—and its powers were absolutely perfect for date rape, whatever the heck that was. Unlike its cousin, the Holy Grail, which could extend everlasting life onto the person who drank from it, the Unholy Grail did just as its namesake implied. It could turn the most devout celibate into a promiscuous slut just by drinking the contents within it. It lowered the inhibitions of a strong-willed person and allowed them to do as they pleased. In other words, what ever liquid was within the confines of the cup was magically transformed into a very potent alcohol and made who ever drank it absolutely shit-faced. Becoming horny seemed to occur depending on the person and so far, Videl seemed to be one of those people.

And that wasn't counting its stalkerish tendencies.

After setting the grail upon its stand—and getting dressed for the first time in awhile—Gohan and Videl had promptly left that room and made their way back to the cave entrance, where their pack was still sitting surprisingly. Feeling a bit hungry, Videl had decided they should at least have a meal before setting out. Once she reached into the pack though, instead of pulling out a loaf of bread or a hunk of cheese or something actually edible, she pulled out the Unholy Grail and suddenly had a bout of thirst. Unlike the three times earlier where Gohan had failed to stop Videl from drinking from the cup—and was promptly tackled and seduced—Gohan managed to wrestle the cup away from Videl and stop that very pleasurable loop from occurring. He needed time to recover after all.

Once they had the food out and managed to eat without the grail interfering, Gohan had then gone back to the grail's resting place, put it back, and then left that cave with Videl in tow. They found a river soon after, a good as any place to restock their water supply. Once again, the Unholy Grail resurfaced, only this time in Gohan's hand after he had pulled a canteen out of the river's depths.

And for some odd reason, he felt really thirsty at that moment.

This time, Videl wrestled the cup away and chucked it somewhere into the river. Again, they quickly left that place and kept travelling until the sun began to set. After setting up camp, they had their third encounter with the grail, only this time it was sitting out in the open with a sign next to it. It said, "You can't get rid of me."

And that was where the two found themselves, staring at the stalker cup and trying to figure out what to do about it. "Why can't it leave us alone?" Videl complained, staring at it from across the fire Gohan had built between them.

"Maybe if we ignore it, it'll go away?" Gohan suggested, causing the princess to turn her head and give him a skeptical look.

"We have been trying to ignore it. It refuses to be ignored; I mean just look at it! It wrote a sign for crying out loud!"

Looking at the sign, the two noticed a change in its message. "We'll be together forever." A shiver went down the teens' spines upon reading it. Truly, this cup did not want to be left alone.

"Then what should we do?" Gohan asked out loud. "If we can't get rid of it, then there's no way we can let our guard down. It'll try to get us to keep drinking out of it no matter what." When Videl didn't answer, Gohan just turned his attention to the fire and stared into its flames. After a few moments, he then said "Should we try to have sex without its prompting? Show that we don't need it for…that?"

Videl was silent for a few moments, a sign that she was seriously considering that option. "I think four times is just plenty for the two of us," she finally answered. "We still don't know what consequences from this will be and I rather not keep pushing our luck on it. Besides, I highly doubt you have enough juice left in you for a fifth time."

Then as if their intuitions were trying to tell them something important, they both looked to the grail again and saw its sign had changed once more. "If you drink from me, I can give you all the juice you need." This time, they looked at the sign incredulously. Was it really that desperate to have someone drink from it? And then the sign changed right in front of their faces. "One little sip won't hurt. C'mon, give it a try."

"What if we found someone else to drink from it?" Gohan suggested. "Maybe then it will leave us alone."

"And who's gonna want to take a stalking grail from us?"

"…someone's stalkerous ex-girlfriend?"

Videl's fist hit the back of Gohan's head, causing him to yelp. "Idiot," she muttered. Sighing, she then said, "I guess we're stuck with the thing. Just throw it in the pack and make sure we don't drink from it. We'll figure out something to do with that thing."

Nodding his sore head, Gohan got up and fetched the grail. Taking it over to the pack, he stuffed it towards the bottom of it, hoping that perhaps it would stay there instead of climbing its wait to the top. Grabbing the blankets, he pulled them out and handed one to Videl. "I suppose it would be a good idea to call it a night," he said as he laid down.

Before he had the chance to put the blanket over him though, Videl had moved to lie down next to him. Puzzled, Gohan looked at the girl and asked "Uhh, Videl? What are you doing?"

The princess returned his look. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to sleep too."

"But…right next to me?"

A glare appeared on the girl's face. "Is that a problem?"

"No, not at all. It's just—"

Videl interrupted him. "You see, for some reason I have a hard time sleeping except when I'm sleeping next to you. Now unless you don't want me to get my much needed beauty sleep and would much more prefer that I be grouchy all day long, then I suppose we could do that."

Gohan immediately pulled the blanket over them. "G'night Videl. Sleep well."

A smirk appeared on her lips. "That's what I thought."


It was two days later when they found something out of the ordinary—other than the Unholy Grail of course. It was another cave, one that they were rightfully suspicious of considering their last cave adventure. Yet, they had little choice in exploring it. After all, how many caves had large neon colored signs flickering on and off, loudly proclaiming that this was the location of the Zeta Sword.

It had to be a trap. Who would make the resting place of an invincible sword so obvious? And why would the Kais back in Kai village claim that it was so hard to find, especially after all of their previous failed endeavors? There was no way any of them could've missed this place unless they were blind.

Or maybe all the people the Kais sent were blind.

Regardless, they were gonna have to enter the cave, whether they wanted to or not. Quite frankly, they didn't want to. Yet if this was indeed the location of the Zeta Sword, they had to check it out. Of course, that was where they ran into their first obstacle.

"I'm not going in there," Videl stated, looking into the depths of the cave.

"But…we have to," Gohan said, looking at the smaller girl.

The princess looked to the young man. "'We' aren't going into that cave; 'you' are going into the cave." Before he could protest, she continued speaking. "The last time I went into a cave, I came out of it with a stalking grail and my virginity gone. I don't think I could do any worse but I refuse to find out if that's possible. Now get into that cave before I throw you in there."

Gulping, Gohan looked into the cave and sighed. Putting on a brave face, he began to enter the cave when Videl shouted after him. "Be careful! Don't die in there or I'll really be mad at you!" What confidence she had in him.

Venturing into the bowels of the cave, Gohan found it odd that he didn't need a torch or something to walk in the darkness. For some strange reason, he could see perfectly fine, as if the daylight from outside was traveling with him. Gohan didn't question it though; if the cave wanted to make sure he didn't bumble around in the darkness, he was perfectly happy to let it do its thing.

For the longest time, it felt as if Gohan just walked. There were twists and turns, a couple of forks that forced him to decide on a path, but for the most part there wasn't anything very exciting with the cave. Heck, he hadn't even run into bats and he was pretty sure they lived in such a place.

Suddenly, Gohan stopped in his tracks. He could've sworn the ground he had just stepped on felt squishy. It definitely wasn't as solid as the rest of the rocky ground and in fact, he felt as if his foot could slide around if he wanted it too. Looking down, Gohan couldn't help the grimace that appeared on his face. He just had to begin questioning his luck, didn't he? Just had to push his luck when it was going so well. Of course there were worse things and this could be considered trivial, but he really didn't feel like scraping the bottom of his boots once he left this cave. Looking back up, a resolved expression on his face, Gohan journeyed forward once more.

Eventually, the cave tunnel he was in opened up into a large chamber. Were one to look up, they wouldn't be able to see the ceiling of the cave, not that anyone would be looking at the ceiling. Most attention would be directed at a large rock sitting in the middle of the chamber, the hilt of a sword sticking out of it. Next to the rock laid a leather scabbard, most likely the exact fit of the sword in the stone. In front of the stone was a sign with words engraved into it. "Thou who seek out the power of the fabled Zeta Sword must prove thyself worthy of its power. Thou must commit thyself to a feat of strength and remove the sword from the stone from whence it rests. May Fortune smile upon thee and we vow to refrain from laughing too hard as thou fails epically."

Gohan blinked at the words in front of him. Geez, why did everyone assume he wasn't capable of doing the most menial of tasks? Did they really have to have such low expectations on him? Well, he'd show them! He'd show them all! Rubbing his hands together, Gohan purposefully approached the sword and grabbed onto the hilt, giving an experimental tug on it to get a better idea of how difficult the task would be.

Imagine his surprise when the sword slid out of the rock like a knife through butter. A look of absurdity crossed Gohan's face as he stared at the upside down sword in his hands. Was…was this really the incredible challenge the sign proclaimed it to be? Looking back at the sign to make sure he read it correctly, the words had changed. Instead of the speech it had given earlier, it said, "Some people get lucky." Ha! Sore loser!

Flipping the sword around, Gohan held it in front of him, staring into the finely-crafted steel. A giddy feeling began to grow within the young man. This…this was it! This was the invincible Zeta Sword! And the blade, the blade was beginning to give off a heavenly glow. A wave of incredible warmth traveled down his arms and gathered into his body. Yes, yes, yes! This was amazing! Incredible! He…had…the…POWER!

And what power it was! There was nothing like it, nothing! Looking around, Gohan felt the need to test the power, to relish in its destructive potential. Eyeing the stone when whence he removed it from, Gohan positioned himself in front of it and swung the sword in a high arch. A moment later and the sword edge bit into the solid rock.

And then the sword promptly broke in half, causing Gohan to let out a cry as his eyes bulged out at the broken sword, the hair on his head and the shirt on his back sticking straight up in the air. How, why? What the hell just happened? Bringing what was left of the sword to his face, Gohan stared at the clean break in the sword, panic filling his mind. Immediately, Gohan shot over to the other half of the sword and picked it up, trying to fit the two halves together frantically. "C'mon, c'mon," he said out loud, dread laced in his voice. So occupied with the sword, the young man never noticed the sign changing again, this time saying, "Fail!"

That was when things went from horrible to even more horrible. As Gohan clanked the two halves together once more, the metal cracked and then shattered into little pieces, causing another cry-of-dismay-and-bulging-eyes reaction. Oh crap, crap, crap! What the heck was he supposed to do now? The sword was completely gone and he was in so much trouble. He couldn't go back to Kai village now! He…he…he had to hide the evidence! Looking around, once again his eyes fell upon the rock. Quickly, Gohan gathered all of the sword shards that he could and swept them over to the rock. Using the adrenaline that was coursing through his body, he lifted the rock up and slid the shards under it. He then dropped the rock to the ground and took a step back, dusting his hands off despite holding onto the sword hilt still. Well, that was one problem solved. Looking up, his eyes then caught sight of the sign once more. "You're not fooling anyone," it said. What the heck was it with these magically changing signs? Damn it, the author was hanging onto the joke for too long!

But now, he had another problem. What the heck was he going to do now? He had no sword and he couldn't go around telling everyone he broke the invincible sword. He was in so much trouble that he had no idea how he was going to get out of it.

He was gonna have to think of something though.


Videl sat on a rock at the cave entrance, her back hunched over so her elbows rested against her legs, her hands cupping against her checks. It had been awhile since Gohan had gone into that cave and she was bored. Really, really bored. So bored that she had considered drinking from the grail again just to see what Gohan's reaction would be when he exited the cave. Sighing, she began wondering if the young man was alright.

That was when her ears picked up on something. There was a sound coming from the cave, something that sounded like footsteps and they were getting louder. Standing up, she then looked into the cave and saw Gohan walking at a high pace, a scabbard in his hands with a sword hilt sticking out of it. Had Gohan really found the Zeta Sword? "Hey, is that the swo—" she started to say but was promptly cut off by Gohan.

"Yep, this is it. Let's go. The sooner we get back to the village, the better," he said in a hurried tone. What the? Why the heck was he acting weird? What happened in that cave?

"Gohan, is there something—"

"Everything's fine. Now let's go."

Rude. "Can I at least see the—"

"No!" he shouted, looking at her fearfully. Upon giving him a skeptical look, he elaborated. "The sword…it…uh…its power…yes, its power! It's terrible! We have to give it to the Kai people as quickly as possible."

Videl placed her hands on her hips as she continued to look at him skeptically. "Really? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Gohan looked around them paranoid. Then in a hushed tone, he whispered "I…I think this thing might be a stalker too. It had a sign and everything and no matter where I went, it followed me in that cave."

Oh no. Oh hell no! Was everything in this mountain range a graduate from Stalker University, excelling in Stalkers 101? "Let's get the hell out of here," she said promptly. Without another word, the two took off at a quick pace. Neither one wanted to know what other bizarre objects they would encounter.


Yes, I did borrow that "I have the power" line from He-man. That was just too good of an opportunity not to lol.

To bvprincess23: Yep, again, and again, and again lol. People don't think very straight when they're hung over/ Two years? Don't you mean two lifetimes lol?/ One word: magic/ That's politics for ya. Just looking at Gero, you would think he would play that game very well.

To I'm a person: Yeah, he probably does. Unfortunately, I don't think he realizes that the people around him are responsible for his troubles. Then again, maybe he's more responsible and assumes it's him rather than them. Such a selfless guy.

RyRy tested; MaMa approved.