Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! I haven't been able to update for AGES cause I've been sick and then couldn't get on my computer for weeks! I was NOT best amused by the Skate sex, but I have to admit it was very sweet. Like I'd always thought it'd be really sort of, I dunno, hot, if you know what I mean. But it was actually, dare I say it…romantic!!! But things will fizzle out with Sawyer now though, right? Their relationship was mostly sexual tension, and now that's gone there's not really much substance between them. Oh well, can't wait for February! I decided to push the sex up a few chapters in this, because I was feeling very emotionally battered after the skex and needed a pick-me-up. And nothing like jex to do that, heh? I just want to say that updates won't be regular any more. I'm really busy right now and I'm very pre-occupied with some new stories of mine that are still pending, which I'll post soon. So I'm more likely to update weekly. Okay the usual; read, enjoy (hopefully) and please, PLEASE review!
I've Missed You – Jack's POV
She was sitting on the sofa when he got home. Flicking through the TV channels, clearly bored.
Her face broke into a smile when she saw he was home, and she rushed over to greet him. It was only when she reached him that she remembered that they weren't on such close terms right now. To hide her embarrassment and put her outstretched arms somewhere, she grabbed his bag and set it down on the floor. Her chagrin was obvious to him – her fists were clenching and unclenching beside her, and her cheeks were bright red. He knew that she would be mentally beating herself up for making that mistake; what had been so natural to them not so long ago was now intensely awkward and almost forbidden. Although the sexual tension had been building between them for some time now, he couldn't bring himself to speak to her about it. About anything to do with the island really: it triggered too many memories.
"Hey"
"Um, hey…Tom's asleep, upstairs. He drifted off about an hour ago. I know I should've woken him up, but he was tired."
"I guess we'll be getting up at three in the morning then"
"Yeah, guess so. I'm looking forward to when he starts sleeping through the night."
"Me too. We might actually get some sleep for once."
He smiled at her, and already the awkwardness was dissipating. Maybe it was better to just forget the incident at the door; forget that she'd ever tried to hug him. They seemed to do a lot of that these days – forgetting.
"What you doing?"
"Oh, nothing much. There's nothing much on TV. I thought about calling Claire, but she seems pretty busy."
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind a call from you."
"I know, it's just…I can't bring myself to call her. I haven't contacted anyone since I got out, except for you; it's too…"
"Hard?"
"Yeah."
In a matter of seconds she was in his arms, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Jack…I can't, it's too much. No one… no one will want to talk to me anymore….I've just got out of prison for Christ sake! They hate me…" He was overwhelmed by the sudden flood of her emotions. She hadn't uttered a word about prison, and whenever he mentioned something she just shrugged it off with a smile. He had no idea that she had kept all this pain in, shut tight inside her.
"Hey, hey, Kate… they don't hate you. They understand, about prison, you should just talk to them. Claire; you two were close."
"She wouldn't care. No one cares about me."
"Tom cares. You're his mother, he loves you… … … I care." His words were little more than a whisper, and yet with the silence that followed you'd have thought he had shouted them. Her head turned against his neck, and he knew that in a few seconds she'd be looking at him. He closed his eyes, tightly, wishing he could block out the awkward confrontation that would assuredly follow.
Instead, he felt her soft lips brushing over his skin, shaking, but firm. He pushed his own against them as hard as he could, relishing the taste of her tears as they rolled down her cheeks and met at their lips. The bitter salty taste served as a reminder that this was all real – it wasn't one of the many dreams that had plagues him for the past few weeks. This was very, very real.
He picked her up and shoved her almost harshly against the wall. Her legs came up either side of him, gripping him tightly as he moved his hands up softly over her stomach, sliding over the smooth curve of her breasts and eventually coming to rest on her shoulders. She was supported only by the force with which they were pushing against each, product of an intense raw need.
Her lips never left his as he gripped her tightly and pulled away from the wall; they continued to massage and tease his own. It was hard to walk when she was wrapped around him, but somehow he managed to struggle to the stairs.
He couldn't carry her up the stairs – not when she made it impossible for him to move, let alone see his way up. As gently as he could he placed her on the bottom stair. She understood – quickly she ran up a few stairs, turning so that when he reached her he could push her against the wall again and kiss her neck. Perhaps it was the taste of her smooth skin that made him tilt his head up and capture her full, sweet mouth in his own; perhaps it was the feeling of her hands beneath his shirt, massaging his back in rhythmic circles. She giggled, but left his lips on hers and reached for his face. She held it between her hands, cupping his head toward her like one might cradle a baby. He pushed her harder against the wall so that she was standing flush against him, but this time it was she who pulled away, she who dragged him after her upstairs. Every few seconds she would stop to tease him, place feather-light kisses along his jaw and then run away again. It was thrilling, this game that she was playing with him.
It took them almost a minute to get up the stairs, and when they reached the top she was straight back in his arms again.
He barely noticed the long hallway, so wrapped up in Kate that he was. It was only when they were in his room that he noticed the change in their surroundings.
She quickly tore his shirt off, then placed hard, insistent kisses along his shoulder and neck while he tried to remove hers. God-damned buttons! In the end he just ripped her shirt and tossed it onto the floor. He looked into her eyes for reassurance, to see if she cared about the shirt.
She didn't.
Her arms slid around his shoulders and she jumped up so that her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. He leant forward, just slightly, so that they fell gently on the bed; him on top of her.
She just grabbed his hands and pulled them to her jeans, her eyes silently begging him to remove them. He didn't have to rip anything this time – the moment the zip was undone they slid smoothly down her legs, his hands pulling them forcefully. He quickly chucked them off the bed, onto the growing pile of clothes. Her hands were fumbling with his fly, and he realised that it was difficult for her with him still laying on her. He raised himself up on his hands so the he hovered above her and she sighed in relief as his jeans undid. He kicked them off.
Kate pushed him gently on the chest, and he sat up, pulling her with him. Her eyes met his and he was surprised by the intensity of her gaze. Never, in all their times together, had she wanted him as much as she did right now. Her raw need was clearly visible in those beautiful green eyes; those eyes which he'd lost himself in too many times. This was no exception – he could feel the room blurring around him, until nothing was left but her.
One hand crept up her back and played with her bra clasp - not really undoing it, just fiddling with it – and the other gripped her chin softly and pulled her sweet lips onto his again. She melted into him, completely relaxing onto him and kissing him back. Her tongue flicked over his lips, teasing again, and then slid into his mouth. It ran along his upper lip, surprisingly erotic, and he felt himself harden in his pants.
Enough games. With a quick twist of his wrist he undid her bra, pulling it off and flinging it to the ground. He lowered her backwards, one hand behind her head until she was resting on the pillow. Her skin shone in the moonlight, and her eyes glistened and danced deliciously. She looked so beautiful, he could have watched her forever.
She had other ideas though. She slipped one arm around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. Surprised by her sudden movement, he was lost until his lips found hers again and his hand was resting snugly around the perfect curve of her hip.
He would have been content just to kiss her, but his body needed more. It yearned for her, now that he allowed it to remember her. He knew he'd never wanted any other woman but her.
His hands pulled at the flimsy strap of her pants, but he was distracted by a giggle in his ear. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, and she exploded into fits of laughter. He was confused.
"Sorry, sorry…" she wiped her eyes, "It's just that, last time we were like this, I couldn't stop complaining about how uncomfortable I was."
He smiled as the memory of their last night, on the beach, came back to him.
"You had sand in your pants." She nodded and laughed again. He laughed with her – looking back, it was funny.
"Remember what you promised?" He nodded again, and leant down to whisper in her ear.
"I promised that next time I'd get you a bed." She looked up at him, her eyes twinkling in delight.
"You did. You know, I never thought you would actually do it."
"Me neither. But if that was what it took to shut you up…" she swatted his arm playfully.
"Hey! Why'd you care so much?"
"I cared, because I had thought of better ways we could be spending our time." She bit her lip, trying to hide the smile behind it. Her eyes flashed at him wickedly, and her hand slid down to the waistband of his boxers.
"I'm uncomfortable."
He remembered how this one played out now.
"Why?"
"There's sand in my pants." An exaggerated 'oh' escaped him and he let an expression of mock surprise flick across his face.
"Let me help you get them off then." She was smiling with him, but the mood between them changed when he ran his hand down her hip, her leg, pulling her panties with it. It was all suddenly so serious, so intense; he half wished that they could return to the light-hearted play of before. His body suddenly froze with fear – what if this changed everything? What if this ruined the friendship they'd steadily built up again? What if she got pregnant again?
No. No more accidents. Hard as it was to break contact with her, he sat up and reached over to the drawer on his bedside table, pulling it open and fumbling around inside until his hand closed around the tiny packet. He withdrew it and her face flushed with understanding, and gratitude. She had certainly forgotten, and if he hadn't thought then they could easily make another mistake. Not that Tom was a mistake – he was perfect. He was just unplanned, and if they had had the time to think they wouldn't have had him. It was hard though, on the island, where the dwindling supplies of contraceptives were all either old or broken. Now that they were rescued, they couldn't afford another accident. Not now.
She pulled the packet off him and ripped it open while he slipped off his boxers. He leant in close to her, so that his lips brushed hers and she slipped the condom on him. Her hands pulled him down onto her, so that he was covering her completely.
She kissed him, again and again, waiting for him to enter her. He waited as long as he could, knowing she was working herself into a frenzy underneath him, until eventually her soft pleading in his ear won him over. She gasped as he slipped inside her in one quick movement, a tight and startling fit. He waited for her to adjust to him, and could feel her muscles contracting around him, pulling him deeper. She lifted her face up so that it was directly beneath his, her breathing ragged against his lips, and he took this to mean she was ready. Her mouth closed around a soft whimper of pleasure as he began to move in her, then louder as he pushed harder into her.
Finally, he was with her again. He was making love to her here, not on some god-forsaken island, and it was real. Kate…he was with Kate.
"Jack" her words were more of a breath than an exclamation, and they tickled his lips.
"Jack" she said again.
He waited until she was close, then slid his hand down and pushed his thumb against her clit. Her hard breaths against his shoulder suddenly stopped, and she shivered as her orgasm washed over her. He quickly followed, her arch of ecstasy beneath his hand enough. More than enough – it was heaven.
-
Kate was wrapped in his arms; head nestled contentedly against his chest. He was breathing in the sweet scent of her hair, the other hand tangled in her silky brown curls.
She was asleep.
He couldn't believe that finally, after almost two years, they were together again. It had seemed a long time, and yet, now it barely seemed any time at all. He'd changed a lot in those two years, as had she, but lying wrapped in each others arms he felt exactly the same as he had when he was last like this. He felt…complete.
"I've missed you" A stray curl brushed against his lips when he spoke.
She stirred next to him and he looked down to meet her raised face. She smiled and pushed her lip slowly against his.
"I love you" He'd known it long before now; those words had always lain between them unspoken, but real. It was different though, to hear them. No matter how many times he'd imagined it in his head, it was so much more perfect now. She was still looking at him sleepily, her eyes heavy, almost shut, and her lips curled in a lazy smile. He just tugged her closer and pushed his lips to hers. If he tried hard enough he could taste them too, those words.
Eventually she pulled away, her eyelashes fluttering over his cheek and lips as she relaxed back into the pillows. She was asleep again within minutes, and he found it increasingly difficult to watch her; unlike the hours he'd spent lying wide awake a year ago, he now felt pleasantly exhausted. Sleep came naturally now.
Because with her, it wasn't so hard any more.
-
Of all the times he'd hated work, he hated it the most now. It took all of his willpower to disentangle himself from her and get out of bed. He jumped into the shower and turned it on as hot as he could. He had to wash her off him, everything about her, so that he could concentrate.
He couldn't save someone's life when he was thinking about her.
She was still sleeping when he came out and dressed. Her hair was fanned out around her face, framing it like a halo. She looked so peaceful, so happy, that he didn't want to wake her. But she would probably prefer him to say goodbye. And it wasn't like him either, t leave without a word.
"Hey, Kate…wake up" Her eyebrows scrunched together as she woke, and her arm stretched out and almost hit him in the face. He took it quickly in his own and kissed it, first the top and then her soft, outstretched palm. She awoke with a giggle when he kissed each finger softly.
"Hey"
His smile faded. "I have to go to work. Sorry."
"S'okay. You'll be back this afternoon though, won't you?" It was adorable, the way her words were slurred together slightly, and the way her eyes still fluttered half-closed. She wasn't quite awake yet.
"Yeah. About 5"
"Okay"
She smiled at him and he bent and kissed her on the cheek. Her sigh tickled his cheek and he knew that he was already too late for work. He couldn't stay much longer.
"I love you"
"I love you too. See you later" She rolled over again and her bare back quickly settled into a slow, steady rhythm of in…out. In…out.
She was asleep.
He felt happy to leave her this time, because he knew now that she'd be here when he got back. A constant fear that he'd come home to find her and Tom gone had been buried in him since her release. But he needn't worry now. He knew she'd stay.
Because it was there, sleeping soundly amongst his tangled sheets, that she belonged.
