Okay so I know I said my chapters would be getting longer, but I promise this is the last shortish one. And it's taken longer then usual for me to update but I got a seriously pain-in-the-ass persitant virus that slowed EVERYTHING on my computer, pretty sure I've killed it and now I've two chapters for ya'll. Please review and tell me what you think, seriously can't stress enough how much I love reading my reviews. Makes me all tingly inside :P
Disclaimer: I think we should have established by now that I am not Richelle Mead and thus I do not own Vampire Academy
Chapter 29
Morning eventually came and I wearily stood up. Last night had completely drained me; emotionally and physically.
"No Rose, you need to sleep."
I shook my head, "No, I can't – if I do I'll have that nightmare."
She placed a soothing hand on my cheek and brushed my dried tears with her thumb.
"I'll dreamwalk for you then, that way you'll sleep and not have that nightmare."
I tried to argue, but she shushed me.
"Rose, just do it and let me help you for a change."
Too tired to resist I sat on my bed and lay down. As soon as my eyes shut I was asleep. Immediately I felt the blackness change and watched in fascination as the Academy grounds spread out before me. I turned to see Lissa walking slowly to me, dressed in a simple green dress that matched the colour of her eyes. I looked down and saw I was wearing my usual attire, baggy black cargo pants and a clingy red skivvy. In fact it was what I had been wearing the night I rescued Eddie and Mia.
"Why have you chosen the Academy gates again?" I asked her, genuinely curious. She shrugged, "I guess this is the place where everything changed between us. Your decision to leave me to hunt down Dimitri changed everything between us."
I nodded in understanding. That day I had made one of the toughest decisions of my life, and it had set everything that would lead up until now into motion, but I would not have done it any differently. I still believed I had made the right choice.
I sighed, "God I am so screwed up."
Lissa smiled slightly, "Well that is kind of expected after everything you've been through," she tilted her head to the side, "Maybe one of these days you'll tell me everything. I am well aware that you have left a large amount of stuff out: Considering you've only told me about being kidnapped, rescuing Eddie and Mia, and meeting Abe. That's what? Four Strigoi out of over two hundred."
I smiled slightly, she was right of course; there was a huge amount I had not said. I crinkled my nose, "Uh please remind me to shower once I wake up, I can smell myself now and, ew."
Lissa blinked and burst out laughing, "You've been having none stop nightmares, beaten up and completely lost it, and you're worried about smelling?" She continued laughing and I eventually joined in.
We sat down in silence for a while, not really sure what to say. There were still unresolved issues between us and I knew we both were responsible for them. Even though I had chosen not to return, I had built up resentment towards Liss and her freedom, and she had built some up towards me for not returning, having felt abandoned.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it, "Look Liss, I know I've said this before, but I am sorry for not returning. For behaving cowardly, and I'm sorry for what I said earlier; I said it in anger. But I stand by what I said. You do have an easier life, you get to love whomever you choose and lead whatever life you choose." I looked down at the grass beneath us, "I know that this is how our society works and it's not going to change really, but I just needed to tell you. Over the years I have built up resentment at you and the life I felt I had been forced into. So part of the reason I didn't come back was because for the first time in my life I felt freedom. Freedom to choose, to not have to put someone else's life ahead of mine. I know it was selfish, but I wanted to feel that for once I was free."
Liss stared at me for a long time and I felt understanding and forgiveness through the bond. She half-smiled at me finally being completely honest with her.
"It's okay Rose, and I am sorry for talking to you like someone beneath me, like a servant instead of a friend. I told you once that you didn't have to guard me unless you wanted to and I realise now that I went back on that. I know I have behaved like a spoilt brat and been expectant of things you should only give me should you want to. You aren't the only one to have changed in these five years. And I can't say I like how I have changed."
I smiled fondly at her; we had made a lot of errors in our reunion. She had expected me to be someone similar to the person who had left and when she realised I wasn't, she had tried to force me back in that persona. I hadn't wanted to be here and fought to drive her back, afraid of how she would react if she found out about the things I was most ashamed of and then resented her for not understanding the pain I felt.
I watched the world around me flicker and lose focus.
"You're waking up." Lissa observed.
I smiled and then opened my eyes in the real world. I sat up and rubbed my face. Ew, it was still sticky with dried blood.
I kicked back my blankets and stood up, unsure of how long I had been asleep for. I felt refreshed apart from the icky feeling of needing a shower. Lissa was sitting on the floor in that meditation position again, so I crouched beside her and hummed, "Ohmmm" into her ear. She shrieked in fright and jumped to her feet. I cracked up laughing at her expression; she scowled and shoved me into the bathroom, plugging her nose in mock disgust.
After I had showered I inspected my face in the mirror, the shadows were still there but not as dark. I didn't look like I had two blacks eyes anymore but I still needed a touch of concealer.
I exited the bathroom and Lissa was sitting on my bed, watching me.
"Feeling better?"
I nodded, "Yeah. A lot."
My stomach growled loud enough for Liss to hear and she lifted an eyebrow.
"How long has it been since you've eaten this time?"
I frowned in concentration, "Not entirely sure. How long have I been asleep?"
She looked at the clock, "Hmmm, about ten hours I'd say, the suns coming up so you've slept today away." She smiled at me and hopped off the bed, "I'll get Christian to make us something."
Except that Christian wasn't in the kitchen, or anywhere in the house.
"Huh, wonder where everyone is." I pondered aloud. Liss shrugged and pulled out a box of cereal, "He'll be back."
He did come back at about 8. We were in the lounge talking about my chances of being her guardian when he came through the front door.
"Christian!" Lissa smiled and stood. He smiled back fondly and swept her up in a hug.
"Where have you been all day?" He kissed her cheek affectionately and I felt Lissa's joy and love bubble up. I tried not to think too much about that fact that I didn't have anyone.
"Oh, we've been here. Took a nap..." She didn't elaborate and for that I was thankful. I was still highly embarrassed about last night and the last thing I needed was for Christian to know about my sleep deprivation caused by nightmares. He nodded in understanding, "Oh, uh Rose I bumped into Adrian earlier today. He was looking for you, saying something about the Queen and your guardianship."
"What?!" I shot up from my chair in excitement and Liss jumped back from Christian. "When did you see him? Where was he? What else did he say?" We both bombarded him with questions and he raised his hands and backed up in fright.
"Easy, easy, one at a time please."
"When did you see him? Exactly when." I asked, restraining myself from bombarding him again. He pursed his lips in thought, "Uh, would have been around lunch I guess. Yeah, I saw him at the feeders."
"What exactly did he say?" I felt like I was extracting information from a child, having to pronounce each individual word.
"Uh, that he says 'hi' and that the Queen wants to see you tomorrow round, uh, nine in the morning... Or was it eight?"
"CHRISTIAN!" Lissa and I yelled at him.
"Eight, it was definitely eight."
"Okay. Thanks." I felt a flutter of nerves jump around in my stomach. The Queen has finally made her decision. Lissa and I exchanged excited looks and I felt the rush through the bond, doubling my own excitement. Tomorrow I will find out my future. I hadn't felt this nervous about anything in a long time and my nervousness was so great Lissa picked up on it through our sort of two-way bond. She smiled confidently at me, "Rose she is sure to give you a promise mark and assign you as my new guardian. I mean there is no way that Guardian Aden is going to guard me after yesterday."
Christian looked at Liss then, "What did Mitchell do to you?"
I was mildly surprised that Lissa hadn't told him, but then we both had been very preoccupied.
"Uh, he and that Hoseet guy that I punched over attacked us last night."
The look on Christian's face was murderous to say the least; his cheeks even flushed red in outrage. "They what?! You're telling me that your own guardian attacked you and Rose last night, and you failed to mention it?"
Lissa blushed with embarrassment, and opened her mouth to defend herself but I got there first.
"Christian, are your observation skills are so bad that you failed to notice last night she had been preoccupied with having had a fight with me? Because we did have a fight last night and she was most likely fuming as much as me, or close to it." I corrected myself, remembering the hole in my wall. He had the decency to look partially embarrassed and apologised to Liss, "Sorry babe, it's just that I'm shocked that he would do that. I mean he seemed like a good guy, intent on protecting you and all."
She nodded and smiled forgivingly, "It's okay Chris I probably should have mentioned it, but between having to tell Rose's mum that Rose wasn't feeling too good and trying not to go punch a wall I was a little busy." She gave me a knowing look just then and I blushed, my emotions must have been strong enough to influence her behaviour. Christian went into the kitchen to make us some dinner and Lissa looked at me, a question forming in her mind.
"Did you ever find out who that Strigoi was in the alley that night in Russia?"
"No I really didn't find out who he was, but I did come across him again."
