Warning this chapter contains gore and violence
Reconnecting With Your Past In Hell
Chapter 29
Song – Black – By Kari Kimmel
when everything has turned to black
you don't know where to go
you need something to justify your soul
silences are broken
confidence is gone
when everything you're holdin onto falls
(yeah)
every body's selling truths
on every corner now
they wait until fear has knocked you down
all the rules are changin now
you're livin in sin
everything around you's cavin in
and all you hold onto's slipping
like water through your hands...
The next morning Dale was being buried under a willow tree next to Naomi's aunt and uncle and Merle and the others as they gathered around his grave.
Daryl had his arms wrapped around Naomi while Louis held his hand and Eliza and Sophia held Naomi's hands, Chester standing next to them.
Rick stood at the head of the grave, across from the others. He looked tired, and defeated as he sighed as Shane and T-Dog let go of the body and turned to join the rest of the group. Everyone then looked to him, waiting for him to say something.
Rick smirked, "Dale could get under your skin." He said bluntly, "He sure got under mine. But that's because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, or how he felt. I think that kind of honesty is rare, and brave." Rick looked up from the ground to look around at the faces of his followers. Many of them had smiles on their faces remembering Dale as he was. Rick continued, "When ever I would make a decision I would look at Dale, and he'd be looking back at me with that look he had – we've all seen it one time or another."
Naomi looked over at Lori, remembering more then one time when Dale had given them that look. Lori was looking over at her too, probably thinking the same thing. The women smiled at each other.
Naomi glanced quickly at Andrea she had a blank look on her face, but Naomi was sure she wouldn't cry, she'd gotten her tears out the night before.
"I couldn't always read Dale, but he sure could read us. He saw people for what they were; he knew things about us ... the truth, who we really are. In the end he was talking about us, and how we are loosing our humanity. He told me that this group is broken. The best way to honour him is to unbreak it. We need to put aside our differences and pull together. We have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety, and our future. We're not broken." He stood proudly, "From now on, we'll do it his way. That is how we honour Dale." He nodded, concluding his speech.
Naomi reached her far hand up and grabbed hold of the hand Daryl had draped around her shoulder. She squeezed it for reassurance as a few tears fell from her eyes. Everyone was silent, and for a while they all stood staring at Dale's grave, saying their individual good-byes. After a while people started to drift back up to camp, leaving Dale to rest under an old tree by the barn.
Naomi had always considered herself a bit of an atheist, but on this day she found herself hoping that there was a God, and a Heaven. She wished it because she knew that if anyone deserved that, it would be Dale. It would be nice to think that after everything, he had finally found some sort of serenity.
"Do you think we'll ever be safe?" Naomi asked Lori as they stood with the children.
"Only time will tell." Lori replied sadly.
They looked up as Daryl, Shane, Rick, Andrea, T-Dog, and Glenn arrived in their trucks, they had been out patrolling. Naomi walked over to Daryl as he jumped out of the truck. "Everything okay?" She asked concerned.
"Yeah." He said and handed her the bag. She took it from him and slung it over her shoulder. They all fell silent as Hershel and Jimmy walked towards them.
"Rick." Hershel said. "I was thinking about you and your group."
"And?" Daryl asked.
Hershel cast him a glance. "The days are getting darker and colder... maybe it is best if you all moved into the house."
"We're a lot of people." Naomi said as she watched Louis pick Chester up.
"We'll make do... I should have asked you all a long time ago... with the creek drying up... and all the cattle in the fields..."
"It's like we're ringing the damn dinner bell." Maggie said worriedly.
"So I guess we're moving?" Naomi asked.
"Seems like it." Lori replied.
Naomi nodded and she and the kids gathered their things and began packing them and putting it all in Naomi's black jeep, she smiled when she saw Carl holding Sophia's hand, Chester was with his owner as Naomi put the last of their things in the back.
Naomi sighed as she saw a photo of her and Daryl aged seventeen, Daryl was in a black sleeveless shirt with a pair of ripped jeans grinning at her from the photo, she was wearing a black baby doll summer dress with black pumps smiling her dark brown eyes sparkling.
Things were so much easier then they were now, in the old days Daryl and Naomi would hang out at the lake or at Merle's shack and have fun.
Now they were fighting to survive.
Everyone started moving everything in to the farm house. Daryl and Naomi took a room upstairs. Naomi was laying out the blankets on the cots whilst Maggie helped her unload the boxes. Daryl walked in with the last box and kissed Naomi. "We're home now." Daryl smiled. Naomi let out a sigh of contentment as she watched the children jump from cot to cot, Daryl grabbed Eliza mid jump and spun her around.
Eliza giggled and Daryl grabbed Sophia in his other arm Louis jumped on Daryl's back and Chester ran around his legs, Naomi smiled at her happy family.
Naomi, Lori and Maggie were on the porch when they heard Daryl and T-Dog yelling in anger.
"Where the hell is he?" Daryl asked.
"He isn't there." T-Dog said.
"What?" Rick asked.
"He just isn't there." T-Dog said.
They ran to the shed and looked through it. Lori, Naomi, and Maggie had ran out after they had heard angry yelling from outside. They saw the men and Maggie had run to the shed. "What's going on?" Lori asked.
"Randall's missing." Glenn said as he tried to keep them in the house.
"What do you mean missing?" Naomi asked worried Eliza, Sophia and Louis stood next to her in their warm coats.
"How long has he been gone?" Hershel asked concerned.
"What's going on?" Maggie asked.
"It's hard to say..." Hershel said.
They were all at the shed now. "The cuffs are still hooked... he must have slipped them." Rick said as he walked out of the shed.
"Is that possible?" Lori asked shocked.
"Yeah, didn't you cuff him tight?" Beth asked worried.
"It's possible if you've got nothing to lose." Andrea said as she inspected the shed.
"The door was secure from the outside." Hershel said. Naomi looked around at the ground and she frowned.
"Daryl..." She said.
"What?"
"Look..." She said as she pointed to the ground.
They all looked up when they heard Shane yelling out. "RICK! RICK!"
"What happened?" Lori yelled out.
"He's armed! He's got my gun!" He yelled back. He looked beat up.
"Are you okay?" Carl asked.
"I'm fine... he just snuck up on me... clocked me in the face." Shane replied annoyed.
"Alright, Hershel... T-Dog, get everybody in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us."
"But -" Naomi said worried as she wrapped her arms around the kids, Chester was growling.
"Get back into the house with the kids Naomi." Daryl told her firmly.
"Just let him go, that was the plan, wasn't it?" Patricia asked. "Just let him go?"
"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here... not on our front step with a gun." Rick said furiously.
"Don't go out there; you all don't know what can happen!" Lori called out.
"Get everybody back into the house." Rick said. "Lock all the doors, and stay put!"
"Daryl be careful" Naomi said hugging him along with the kids he nodded and he and the others hurried into the woods along while they hurried back to the house.
Naomi sat in the living room with the others while Eliza, Sophia, and Louis were upstairs along with Carl when a loud gunshot rang out.
"What the hell was that?" Jimmy said from where he stood next to Beth.
At that moment Daryl and Glenn came back.
"Rick and Shane ain't back?" Daryl asked concerned after he embraced Naomi.
"No." Lori said worried.
"We heard a shot." Glenn said.
"Maybe they found Randall." Lori offered.
"We found him." Daryl said.
"Is he back in the shed?" Andrea asked.
"He's a Walker." Daryl said.
"Did you find the Walker that bit him?" Hershel asked.
"No, the weird thing is... he wasn't bit." Glenn said.
"His neck was broke." Daryl said.
"So he fought back." Naomi added.
"The thing is... Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other..." Daryl started. "And Shane ain't no tracker... So he didn't come up behind him... They were together."
"Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane, and find out what on earth is going on?" Lori asked Daryl.
"You got it." He said as he began to walk back out.
"Thank you." Lori said.
Naomi followed Daryl to the door; he stopped and looked at her.
"Get the kids and our thing in case we need to leave" he told her.
"But..." She started.
He stopped and put a hand over her mouth. "Shh... Do you hear that?" He asked.
Everyone fell silent. Naomi pulled his hand down as they walked outside. Everyone's face paled when they saw a herd of Walkers in the distance, their growling voices sounded like the humming of a thousand bees at a distance.
"Oh, my God." Beth said from behind them.
"Patricia, kill the lights." Hershel said quietly.
"I'll get the guns." Andrea said and she hurried off.
"Maybe they're just passing, like the herd on the highway, should we just go inside?" Glenn said.
"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about." Daryl said as he put his arm around Naomi's shoulders. "A herd that size would rip the house down."
Naomi and Lori ran upstairs to get the supplies and their things, Naomi flung it all in a black sports, bag and gave Lori a hug, "I'm sure Carl's fine Lori he's with Rick" she assured her friend and Lori nodded and they ran downstairs
Naomi gasped. "We need to leave." Daryl nodded and grabbed the children.
"Get them to your truck and get them to the highway." Daryl instructed as the herd came closer and closer their teeth clashing together and their hands stretching out for their prey.
Naomi grabbed the children and ran outside it was mayhem. Walkers stumbled around reaching out for their meals. One walker made a grab for Eliza it was taken down by Daryl's arrow. "Run." He yelled.
Louis stumbled and fell Naomi picked him up a walker stood in front of Naomi flesh and blood hanging from its jaws. Naomi shot it through the head and she heard a blood curdling scream.
Naomi, Lori, Patricia, Beth, Chester and the children reached the car and walkers threw their rotting bodies all over it. They banged on the window growling and snarling for the warm fleshy treats that sat inside.
Naomi flung all their things in the trunk and realised with horror that they were surrounded.
Naomi turned to look at the others "GO I'LL BE FINE" she screamed, Lori hesitated but before she could say anything T-Dog flung himself in the truck and pushed Lori in the passengers seat and drove off.
Naomi shot at another walker and much to her relief saw that Jimmy had gotten away in the RV.
Naomi dodged walkers her feet pounding against the dried dirt she had to move quicker to get to Daryl. Naomi took down a walker as it stumbled towards her the Naomi heard a scream.
Naomi turned to see Andrea being grabbed by a walker the walker bit down into Andrea's neck while another bit into her arm. "Andrea!" Naomi screamed she shot the walker straight through the brain and ran to Andrea.
Andrea lay on the floor blood poured from her neck and arm. "Please Naomi kill me." Andrea gurgled.
Naomi's eyes filled with tears and she held her gun to Andrea's head. "I'm sorry." she whispered. Naomi shot Andrea through the head she wanted to cry but she knew she had to move. She had to get to Daryl giving Andrea's hand a small squeeze she took the bag of guns and flung over her back along with the bag of medicine.
Naomi ran on the path and sure enough Daryl was there the low rumble of a motorcycle motor starting was like music to Naomi's ears. Daryl quickly appeared on his bike from down the lane. When he saw her his eyes got wide and he looked pissed. He pulled his bike to a stop and pulled his gun out of his pocket, aiming it at the Walker's running behind Naomi, "C'mon haven't got all day, now!" He called to her.
She ran to the motorbike, siding in behind him on the leather seat. She was out of breath. After taking down a few Walkers with some head shots, he put his gun back in his pocket and turned the bike, peeling back down the drive, away from the lost farm.
Naomi pulled her feet up and wrapped her hands around him as he sped up down the dirt road, the moans of the Walker's disappearing from her ears the further they got from them. She leaned into him and rested her head on his back, protecting her from the cool night air rushing past them. She had been on a motorcycle, before but this was exhilarating, and frightening.
As they drove the sun started to rise, bringing some light to the day. The old, country roads were busy with Walker's, wandering around aimlessly. As Daryl manoeuvred the bike around them they hissed and reached out for him and Naomi, but none of them were coordinated enough to get a good hold.
Finally they came to the turn for the highway, and Daryl brought the bike to a stop. He turned it off and jumped off the bike, pacing back a forth beside it. Naomi stayed on the bike, just following him with her gaze. She wasn't sure what he was doing.
Finally he stopped and looked at her, folding his arms over his chest, "Where's the kids?" he asked.
"They are with Beth, Patricia and Lori." She told him, "They are safe, T-Dog drove my truck with them in it" she said.
"Last you saw them." Daryl said with frustration. He grumbled something under his breath and shook his head, "You were supposed to be gone!" He told her, "I told Lori to get you to safety."
She stood up off the bike, and moved towards him, "We were attacked. Things didn't exactly go as planned." She explained, reaching out and taking his hands in hers, she paused for a moment, taking a breath, "We lost Andrea."
Daryl looked down at her, a look of worry in his eyes. He let go of her hands and wrapped his arms around her, "I'm sorry." He told her. It was the best he could do. He hadn't been there to stop it, and he hated himself for it.
She buried her face in his chest and let a few tears fall. She breathed in his smell and reminded herself that he was safe. At least she still had him. She pulled back from him, sniffling, "We should go. We need to meet up with everyone. The kids are waiting for us." She turned back to the bike.
"Hey." Daryl said, grabbing a hold of her hand. She turned to look at him, and he sighed, "I'm so glad you're alright."
Naomi smiled for a moment, stepping back towards him and kissing him. As her lips were pressed against his she savoured the moment. God, she was glade he's was alright too. If anything had happened to him, she didn't know if she'd be able to go on. But he was alright, he was always alright.
Finally they broke apart and jumped back on the bike. Daryl revved it up and took off down the highway. They were only driving a few minutes when Naomi noticed Shane's green car driving up a head of them. She smiled and pointed at it, hoping Daryl would notice it too. He nodded and then pointed farther up a head of that, at the blue pick-up truck of Otis' parked near the crashed car. Parked with it was also Naomi's truck.
Daryl weaved the bike through the abandoned cars, bringing it to a stop by the rest of the vehicles the others had used. Naomi was off the bike before he even had it turned off.
"MOM, DAD" Eliza, Sophia and Louis screamed and Chester barked happily and they ran into Daryl and Naomi's arms the rest of the group smiled.
"Where's Andrea?" Rick asked concerned and Naomi saw poor Andrea's blood stained face and neck in her mind.
"Andrea got bit, on the neck and arm and she asked me to kill her I'm sorry" she told him.
There was a saddened silence as they thought of Andrea's death.
"Where are we going now?" It was Patricia who asked the million dollar question.
"East," T-Dog said. "What I've been saying since day one. We need to head east."
"And go where? Drive into the ocean?"
"West," Naomi chimed in, the kids were huddled into her and Daryl and Chester sat near his family.
Daryl nodded in agreement. "Find a small town. Less people. That's what Naomi and I been talkin' 'bout doin'. Makes the most sense."
"Yeah? And how do we get there? No food, no gas."
"Me and Lori managed to get the supplies and clothes out of the house before the farm was overrun and I have the bag of medicine and bag of guns" Naomi said causing Daryl and the kids to grin, Naomi was always resourceful.
"Just like we always done," Daryl said. "By surviving."
"Daryl might be onto something," Rick agreed.
"We need to make a decision and get off the highway. Now." T- Dog said sternly.
"Ain't safe," Daryl added in agreement and loaded his bow to take out a lone Walker. "Too many assholes like this one."
"Alright. We drive west," Rick said authoritatively.
"Stay on the back roads," Daryl added.
Rick nodded. "Until we get somewhere safe."
The afternoon air was cold and Daryl and Naomi were taking her truck while Hershel and the others took the RV and Rick and Lori and Carl had taken the station wagon, Daryl's motorbike sitting chained in the back of the truck along with the supplies.
They drove for a few hours before Rick had to pull over. The wagon was out of gas and he had been driving on fumes. The small group formed a tight circle on the road, guns ready and senses alert.
Naomi listened to Rick as he quickly barked out orders. He was trying to appear calm, collected, and together, but Naomi could hear the fear shaking through his words. Rick's hurried speech about making a life for themselves appealed to her. She knew it appealed to Daryl as well, since they had talked about it at length together. She so desperately wished for a fresh start. A place to hunker down and hide away from the horror. Fortify, Rick had called it. Yes, fortifying sounded nice.
Then Rick dropped a bombshell.
"You know we found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit." Daryl said firmly.
The Sherriff was completely unceremonious with his next words, "We're all infected."
In an instant, outrage blew up among the group. Naomi stared at Rick in disbelief. He'd kept this secret to himself for months. Very slowly she digested his words. Beside her, Daryl was just as shocked along with their kids. She had never seen Glenn so fired up. And Lori, the anger that flowed over her face was frightening.
When Rick sulked off from everyone, Daryl stepped up and volunteered the two of them to search for firewood while the others secured a perimeter for the night. He loaded his bow and helped Naomi jump the guardrail.
"Stick close."
She nodded and began to pick up kindling all while feeling sick to her stomach. Rick's words played over and over again in her mind. We're all infected. Infected.
Daryl's hand on her elbow made her jump.
"Hey," his voice was quiet, but firm. "Focus. Im gonna send you back to the kids if you don't wake the hell up."
"I'm sorry. Sorry." She hung her head and he pulled her close.
"Don't think about it. We're alive now. We have each other and the kids. That's what matters." He told her.
"It's so much to take in."
"We'll be alright."
Naomi was silent as he held her.
"You understand me?"
She nodded against his chest and tried to believe him.
Later that night it got colder, and Naomi hugged Louis to her while Daryl had Sophia sit in his lap and Eliza sat on his lap as well, Chester sat beside his owners, growling.
"Mom I'm cold" Louis said shivering, Naomi pulled him closer into her and felt Daryl wrap his arms around them trying to keep his family warm.
More bombshells dropped and the air around them was thick with tension as Rick announced Shane's murder. The set up with Randall. The fact that this group was no longer a democracy.
Naomi slowly slipped her hand into Daryl's and he gave it a squeeze. He looked at her long and hard and words passed between them without either one having to speak.
They were in this together.
And you sing- lalala, lalala, lalala
far off in the distance
somewhere you can't see
allegences have formed your destiny
opposition all around
feedin off your soul
trying hard to swallow up your hope
and demons all around you waiting
for you to sell your soul
CH:
they're singin- lalala, lalala, lalala
