Heyooo~
Happy Father's Day! Go hug your father/grandfather/brother/boyfriend/male friend/male neighbour/male person selling something in the market if you haven't yet! Even if it's not Father's Day for you! :D (We celebrate it in November, so that's why you guys should go hug someone for me as well...)
Look, no one managed to kill me for last chapter's cliff-hanger! Hooray, here's a chapter to celebrate that~
Aaand thanks for reviewing, you! I love you guys~ *glomp* I replied to all but the un-signed ones! /because to those, I couldn't... ._. But you un-signed ones, I love you too~ :D
Words: 2,381, it says
Disclaimer: *scratches head* Nope, don't own...
Warnings:The general things. :)
Here's chapter 29, 'Neglect'!
Deidara was quick (almost too quick) to draw away, murmuring a sorry that was almost more quiet than the sound he made as he stood up, clearly intent on tip-toeing away before forced to deal with any of the possible consequences.
Sasori wasn't one hundred percent sure what if was that he was doing, but he wasn't going to let the blonde get away with this just like that, so he grabbed the Joker's wrist. "Don't even think about going anywhere," he hissed.
"I'm sorry, okay?" the blonde screeched, tugging his hand so harshly that if one of them wouldn't give up, Sasori was sure something would get dislocated. "I'm sorry, un. I didn't mean to do that and I-" Another harsh tug followed, but Sasori's grip merely tightened.
"Calm down," the Ace muttered, not because he cared but because the other seemed like he was on the verge of panicking, and when people panicked, it was rarely anything good.
One more tug seemed to be absolutely necessary, and the blonde's wrist twisted uncomfortably before he looked Sasori in the eyes. "What?"
"I told you to calm down. What you did wasn't this bad for certain."
Two more efforts to break free followed, but they were more feeble and ended with Deidara frowning before meeting those muddy brown eyes again. "Do you want to forget that ever even happened?" he offered, shifting his weight from one foot to another while waiting for an answer and for Sasori to release his death grip on the blonde's sickeningly thin wrist.
He pegged it as the best thing to do right now, and nodded. He was certain he hadn't imagined the lonely, hurt and disappointed look in the blonde's eyes after his response, but it was gone very quickly (too quickly), as was the blonde, seeming practically hell-bent on getting some distance between them, taking his clay bird with him and moving to sit on the floor.
And Sasori couldn't help thinking that his companion had just messed something up by doing that.
They had been so... everything but uneasy in each other's company just before this. Or at least Sasori had felt that way... Either way, why did Deidara have to go and mess it all up when things seemed to be working out so well for them, no matter the current, all but good situation?
He sighed, looking at the blonde who seemed all too content with hiding his face from sight with his long hair, all the while tirelessly working on that clay bird of his.
Sasori did not like this at all. It felt awkward, more so than anything else had within the past few days, even though he had recently discovered that Deidara was an assassin with a mission to kill him. The worst thing was that it wasn't supposed to be this way...
"We can still talk, right?" Sasori asked, more frustrated than anything. He then watched for a while as Deidara apparently thought through his response.
While watching him, Sasori noticed the blonde holding his right wrist rather tenderly, and frowned, leaning towards the blonde from his spot on the bed to get a closer view. "Shit, you didn't break it, did you?"
"No, it's just sprained, un. I think…" the blonde murmured slowly, tugging his glove up a little to expose all of his wrist and then holding it up for Sasori, letting him see the reddened skin that would probably soon be turning purple. "With any luck, it'll start swelling soon, un."
"And is the color a good thing, too?" Sasori asked. It probably sounded dumb, but he hadn't had too many injuries in the past. No fractures, no sprains, no wounds that would've been too big… And he was pretty sure that Deidara was in a situation that was way different from his when it came to past injuries.
"It's bruising," he said simply, without really looking at his wrist to remind himself of the color in question, "What else is new, un?"
"Oh… You bruise easily, then…" Because he was certain he hadn't held the blonde's wrist that tightly. Not enough to cause finger-shaped bruises that were already showing. He could only imagine how they would look tomorrow…
"Always have, un. Sorry."
"No one told me to do that. I just didn't want you dashing off somewhere and ending up getting yourself hurt," he explained. Call it caring if you will, he called it instincts.
Deidara laughed lightly, albeit forcedly, "And yet I managed to get myself hurt. Great, un," he held up his wrist again as he spoke, "Though this used to be nothing. Some five years ago, I would've laughed it off and said it happened every day, because I'm pretty sure it did, un."
"Sounds rough."
A shrug, "It was fun, for the most part. The circus, I mean. We were a total family, un. Okay, so the circus they have intact nowadays isn't that bad either, but it's… Certainly different, un."
"Did you know it was the same circus when you dragged me there?" Sasori asked. It hadn't really crossed his mind before, but it was possible… Because Deidara sure had been hell-bent on going there.
"I was thinking about that," he drawled, "But I had no way of being sure, un. And it wasn't really even the same circus. Not with Third dead, everyone gone and Tayuya… only partly there, un."
"Okay, I'll admit that you lost me there," Sasori confessed, scratching the back of his head, "Besides, you never really explained all about the circus and… what you did after that."
"Oh… After that, I had a job as a court jester…That was hardly a job, though," Deidara scoffed, "More like meaningless, stupid child abuse, un."
"You were hardly a-"
"I was twelve. In my eyes, I was not old enough to be used like that, un."
"What… happened, then?" Okay, Sasori had to admit that Deidara had practically been a child. Anyone under twenty was.
"I'd rather not remember it. In five words, do it or you'll suffer. They hit me and cut me and used me. End of story, un."
"But you got away, in the end… didn't you?" Sasori asked, if only to cheer him up.
"Yeah. Sadly there wasn't any point in going back to my family, though." As an answer to the questioning look from Sasori, he continued, "The circus had been messed up within the time when I was gone, un."
Deidara had it all planned in his mind. He would cover all his new scars (he already had, actually) and think of excuses for the visible ones. Besides, he had spent most if not all of his money on a pair of gloves. Anything to stop Tayuya from asking questions. He didn't want questions, and he definitely didn't want her feeling all sorry for him. He didn't think he could take that.
So he worked quite a bit on finding the circus. Looked around for posters and asked people about it.
It took a visit to a cafe and asking the owner (and ever so reluctantly buying a cup of coffee) for him to find an actual clue as for where he could find the circus right about now.
The hills in Yukagure. Having been there once or twice, going there wasn't really the trouble, he soon learned.
The trouble itself began when he was there; looking up at the huge tent and thinking how it could seem so alien now, when just over a year before it had been his home, his sanctuary and the one place in which he felt content and safe, like nothing in the world could really posses the power hurt him.
Getting inside wasn't too much of a hassle, either. All it took was making sure the show was going on and promptly crawling underneath the tent, wiping the grass and sand off his pants and looking around for any familiar faces once all that was done and taken care of.
The surprise came when there were familiar faces to be found; not on the stage and not behind it.
The relief came when he found Tayuya.
The shock came when the redheaded flutist didn't seem the same as how he remembered her.
The fear finally hit him when Tayuya told him to leave right now.
He was on the verge of tears when he looked into Tayuya's narrowed, seemingly emotionless eyes. "But why?" he demanded her, "Why would I? I just came back, un!"
"You... have to go..." she whimpered, seeming like it took a lot out of her to say even that much.
"Tell me why," the blonde demanded her, staying right where he was.
"It's not..." Tayuya started in another urgent whimper, "Safe here. Go away and don't come back... please!"
After those, louder words, a tall man with dark, long hair and pale skin entered the small area. "Well well well... What do we have here? An intruder, are you? I ssssuppossse I'll just have to show how we deal with intruders here..."
"No!" Tayuya screeched, whirling around, "You can't hurt him, he's-"
The man's fingers snapped, and Tayuya was back to emotionlessly staring at what was before her.
"Can't hurt him, huh?" he murmured with an evil smirk, "We'll see about that…"
"What did you do to her, un?" Deidara demanded fearfully.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the man murmured, moving Tayuya's hair away to point at a black mark on the base of his neck. "Sssee this here? That's my cursed seal... They're all mere puppets to me. Every. Single. One."
"You bastard..." Deidara hissed as the black-haired man gave Tayuya the instructions to kill the /meddling blonde.
When Tayuya turned around, he saw her mouthing /please leave.
And in the end, that made him make a run for it, though he promised himself that he would be back. Someday.
Sasori was rather wordless after this; it only addressed to the fact that nothing good really ever happened to Deidara.
"Yeah. That's why we weren't exactly on best terms with Tayuya, like you probably saw, un..." Deidara muttered depressedly, "And you don't have to say how sorry you are; I already know. But you could change things, and yet you just..." he sighed, "Make yourself something to eat. I'm going to sleep, un..."
Whether it was because Sasori didn't want commands from Deidara or because he wasn't hungry, he never made himself anything to eat. He merely worked on some old puppet for a few hours (because it really wasn't that late; the whole sleeping thing had probably been an excuse to avoid another depressing continuation to the already depressing conversation.
After those few hours, he stepped over Deidara, who was curled up on the floor, blew out the candle lightening the house and falling asleep in his cold bed.
"I'm so sorry, Danna," Deidara murmured as he drew away, blushing and all, "I- I didn't mean to do that, un..."
Sasori stared at him blankly, his fingers touching his lips absently. "Then why did you do that?"
He hesitated, looking away awkwardly as ever.
"Tell me," Sasori pressed on.
"Because I like you..." he murmured helplessly, "Okay, un? I like you so I kissed you and I'm sorry-!"
"You don't have to be," Sasori murmured, smiling slightly as he did, "Because I like you too."
"...Really, un?"
And then there were warm lips back on his (where they belonged, he thought) and a hand tangling in his hair and Deidara's voice softly breathing out his name every time they drew apart for breath.
"...for how long?" Sasori couldn't help asking. How long had the blonde been there, just within his reach, without him knowing?
"Forever," he whispered.
When he woke up in the morning, Sasori soon developed a headache from working out which parts of yesterday had actually taken place and which parts had been only a dream.
Reluctantly, he came to accept that while Deidara's stories had indeed happened, so had the kiss… And yet what happened after it hadn't actually worked as well as how it went in his dream.
For a moment, he was wondering if that was another weird, insane plot of Deidara's; kissing him and then putting… dreams in his head.
One glance at the blonde (who was still laying on the feet of his bed, though his opened eye suggested that he wasn't sleeping anymore) reminded him that he couldn't ask Deidara if the Joker had been messing up with his dreams again; for if he hadn't been, it wouldn't be difficult for him to figure out the reason for the question. And if Deidara didn't know, Sasori would be perfectly content to be keeping it that way.
Unbeknownst to him, the blonde in question was very well aware of what had been going on in his head the night before, for he had been wide awake, sitting at the feet of Sasori's bed and holding his hand extended over the Ace's forehead to watch over his dream, make sure he wouldn't startle himself awake or react like he probably wanted to; badly and to experience the dream how Sasori saw it, for he was certain they would never ever discuss it. In that way, his plan was perfect; he would never be caught for doing this. Sasori would never even ask him about him, since Sasori probably preferred to keep all of his fantasies out of Deidara's knowledge if he could help it.
Only when the dream had ended and he was certain that Sasori wouldn't be awoken for a few more hours at least (this because he had made sure of it himself), Deidara allowed himself to break down and cry, all the while muttering quiet apologies to the other young man, who had no way of hearing him. He knew it was wrong; just as wrong, if not more, as the forced kiss from before. He had no right to be doing this, and he knew that very well.
In the end, he fell asleep curled up on Sasori's feet, thankful to feel that little bit of heat radiating from his body, tears still running down his cheeks.
There you go; finally a present day-scene from Deidara's point of view!
Personally, I'm excited to finally have one... Though it could've been a little bit happier. Oh well... Next time, maybe?
Either or, my offer from last chapter stands, so if you feel like beating me up with something, go ahead. It would make me very very very happy to get a review. And who knows what might happen if I'm happy...?
Ahaha, either way, see you next Sunday~ Oh and happy Midsummer in advance~
