I do not own anything but my own character(s)
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Chapter 29
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Dean sat on the side of his bed, head bent down and hands grasping the bedspread on each side of his legs. He wished he would have told Sam what he was really thinking. The never ending, broken record that was playing in his mind. 'Save Sammy. It's ok Sammy. Save Sammy. It's ok Sammy...'
He wished that he would have told him that he was worried out of his mind. That he feared that in the end of all this, he would be left all alone.
All he had managed to do with this morning's conversation was to push Sam away. All because he was to occupied feeling sorry for himself.
No one mastered the art of taking the blame for everything wrong in the world quite like Dean Winchester. And he was feeling the weight of it now more than ever.
There was a knock on the door. Dean lifted his head and mumbled "Come in". The door opened and Sam walked in. Dean nodded to the chair by his desk and Sam took a seat. They stared at each other for what felt like minutes. Dean noticed that something seemed different with his brother but couldn't pin point what it was.
"I'm sorry, Sammy" Dean said.
"Why? You're just beeing you." Sam gave him a sad smile that almost broke Dean apart.
"I'm worried about you, man." Dean looked down on his hands now twisting in his lap.
"You don't have to be, I think I've got this. Whatever 'this' is. Trust me."
"I trust you. That was never the problem. The problem is..." Dean's voice got even more gravely as he felt a lump in his throat.
"The problem is...?" Sam asked, eyes never leaving his brother who was trembling now.
"I can't be alone. I'm not like you, I can't be alone. And I think that if this whole thing plays out, I will be. Alone." Dean wiped a hand down his face and looked at Sam.
"Dean..." Sam didn't now what to say so he got up from his chair and put a hand on Dean's shoulder.
Dean took a deep breath and straightened.
"Yeah. Enough of this. I'm not built for this stuff" Dean said and stood up. Sam's hand never left his shoulder and when he stood he was suddenly engulfed in a bearhug. They gave each other a couple of awkward pats on the back and that was that.
End of conversation. Problem not quite solved.
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Kat wandered around in the bunker, exploring. Her beloved camera once again in her hands. With everything that had happened she hadn't been in the mood to take any pictures. When she entered the library she raised it to her eyes and snapped a photo of the brothers. Dean sat in a chair with his feet up on the table, glass of whisky in one hand.. Sam sat opposite to him with books and papers strewn before him, also a glass in hand.
She lowered the camera and walked up to them.
"Isn't it a little early for hard liquor?" she asked while placing her arms around Sam's neck and kissing him on the cheek.
"Nope" he said and turned to give her a kiss.
"A little 'hunter's helper' in the morning is necessary once in a while, sweetheart" Dean said and gave her a lopsided grin.
She returned the smile and turned her attention back to Sam.
"What are you reading?"
"Just tryin' to find some answers" he answered.
"Any luck?"
"Nah"
"What about the...erm...powers?" she asked and stroke his hair.
"What about them?" Sam asked and in the same moment reached out with his mind and gave her a little push from behind.
"What the hell!?" she shrieked and smacked him in the head. "That was you, wasn't it?"
Sam just smiled and continued reading.
"What did he do?" Dean asked.
"He smacked me on the ass" Kat said and jumped up to sit on the table beside all of Sam's research.
"Sweetheart, he didn't even move"
"Nope" Sam said and grinned at Dean.
"Weirder and weirder" Dean muttered and finished his whisky in one big gulp.
Just then there was a crash at the beginning of the stairs and both brothers were on their feet before Kat had even reacted.
Down the stairs came an angel in a bloodied trenchcoat.
"Cas!" Dean exclaimed and ran to help him down the last couple of steps.
"I'm ok, Dean. I just need some rest."
"You're covered in blood!" Dean said while leeding him to a chair.
"Most of it isn't mine" Cas turned his head to Sam "You can relax now Sam"
Dean frowned and looked at Sam. He was glowing. Freakin' glowing!
"Dude" Dean said and reached out a hand that he grabbed Sam's bicep with.
"Yeah. Sorry. Just thought..." Sam took a deep breath and the glowing subsided. Dean released his grip and Kat walked up to Sam and put her arm round his waist, standing by his side.
"You thought there was a threat" Cas filled in.
"Yeah. Still feels like it."
"I can understand that. How are you, Sam?" Cas asked and tilted his head a little.
Before Sam had a chance to answer Dean cut in.
"Cas!? Enough with the pleasantries! What the hell happened to you and what the HELL is goin' on with my brother?"
"I think you all need to sit down. We have a lot to talk about" Cas said.
They all took a seat and waited with suspension to hear the angel explain.
"Sam, the reason you still feel like there's a threat is because there is. I had to fight my way here, demons everywhere. It's like they can smell you or something...Some of the angels are building forces, recruting, preparing for war. War with you, Sam...They are all afraid and that make's them desperate and even more dangerous."
Cas got up and started to pace.
"They know that when you decide, when you give in completely to that power pulsating through you, you will have them all on their knees. Angels and demons." Cas stopped infront of Sam, who had at some point gotten up out of his chair.
"They will bow to the one who has the power given to him by God" Cas said and the room fell dead quiet.
'
Kat sat in her chair, trying to wrap her head round all of this. She couldn't even think about the whole 'God'-thing. The only thing she thought was: did this mean that her and Sam had an exparasion date? Would she end up alone? Tears welled up in her eyes and she raised them to meet Dean's and saw his eyes glistening with tears as well.
'
Sam thought that hearing something like this should have him reduced to a quivering mess. But it didn't. He felt...relieved. Like he could finally breathe. The darkness he was feeling wasn't coming from inside him, it was coming from everything and everyone wanting him dead.
He felt this was true the minute Cas had started to speak. A small smile played on his lips. He wasn't a monster. He could feel his brother watching him and turned to smile at him.
"It's ok, Dean. I'm ok" he said and walked over to Kat. The feeling of absolute calm mixed with his relief as he touched her face and stroked her cheek gently.
"I'm not going anywhere without you, darlin'" he whispered and bent to kiss away her tears.
