Running out hurt me more than being staked through the heart, which at this point is what I wished someone would do to me. I had nothing but a small bag of clothes, a toothbrush, and a half used stick of deodorant. As I walked down the street tears fell from my stinging eyes. This was all my fault. I loved Dimitri more than life itself, but it was inexcusable what I had done to him. I was out of control.
I quickly darted into a restaurant called Outsiders, which was ironic. When I walked in, the five people that were quietly eating looked at me. I averted my gaze and pretended like they all weren't staring at me. A slim man greeted me and led me to a seat at the long bar at the back of the small restaurant. I thanked him and laid my forehead gently on the bar's cool wood surface.
"Rose?" A man's voice asked, sounding surprised. I groaned and looked into the beautiful emerald eyes of Adrian. "You've got to be fucking kidding." I muttered. "What are you doing here?" He asked. I rolled my eyes. "I'm wasting my life away." I told him. "Now give me the strongest shit you've got and a razor blade." I demanded. He gave me a worried look. "Oh don't look at me like that. It's not like you haven't tried to kill yourself. I was there remember." I growled.
His eyes dimmed and the excitement on his face faded as the memory of his suicide attempt appeared in his head. It was a low blow but I was in a lethal mood and therefore I didn't particularly care. "Jeez Rose, nice to see you too." He huffed, turning and walking away. "Finally." I mumbled under my breath, but started to feel bad. I stood up and wandered to the front of the small restaurant. I asked the polite man who had greeted me for a pen and a slip of paper. Within seconds he returned with the two. I used the front counter to write a small message to Adrian.
"Adrian look I'm sorry."
I put three lines through that and started again underneath it.
"I didn't mean what I said, but I can't explain. Just know that I never stopped having feelings for you, but my feelings for Dimitri were greater. I'm glad to have seen you again, but it will most likely be the last time you will see me. I'm leaving for good. When you see Lissa please tell her I love her. Goodbye Adrian, for the last time."
Rose
I handed the man the paper. "Can you make sure Adrian Ivashkov, the bartender, gets that paper please? I asked. He nodded and I thanked him, making my way out of the restaurant. I had no idea where I was going to go with only $500 in cash and only one small bag of clothes, but I knew I had to get away from anyone I loved because I would just end up hurting them.
I spotted a motel and ran inside. "How much is a room for one?" I asked the clerk. Her eyes examined me and she finally answered me. "Sixty-five dollars a night." I handed her $195 bucks and accepted my room key. I took my time going to the room. My mind kept wandering back to Dimitri and seeing Adrian at the bar. I opened the door to room 143 and tossed my bag on the bed. When the door shut I observed the extremely sad looking room.
The bed was rock hard, the TV appeared to date back to the seventies, and the towels felt like sandpaper. I sighed heavily. I didn't have much of a choice with limited money. I walked into the tiny bathroom and turned on the water filling the tub almost to the rim. I sat down, water spilling out and slipped under the water. I tried to hold my breath to the point of unconsciousness, but I couldn't manage it. I scrubbed my skin until it hurt and then let out the water.
When I stepped out I dried with the pitiful excuse for a towel and put on the other clothes I had packed. I laid out on the bed and turned on the TV, only to find that it received four channels. I drifted into a very unsettling sleep. To my surprise I didn't have a nightmare or even a dream. It was completely dark until I woke up the next afternoon. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was nearly four. I walked downstairs to the vending machine and bought ten dollars' worth of junk. I devoured the Oreos and Cheetos within seconds and finishing it off with a Pepsi. I decided there was nothing else to do, and so I went to sleep again.
When I woke up the next morning I had a terrible stomach ache. I got up, brushed my teeth with the disgusting hotel toothpaste, and showered again. I put everything back in my bag and went down to the lobby. "Where is the nearest mall?" I asked. "Go two blocks and take a left. You'll see it." The clerk told me. I walked two blocks and took a left, finding myself at the mall. I wandered around on the inside, finally finding a store that looked promising. I browsed the tables and racks of clothes. I found an outfit that was far from the usual. A bright pink keyhole shirt and ripped low-rise whitewashed denim jeans. I bought three bras and five pairs of underwear as well and only paying one hundred dollars for it all.
I searched for a hair salon and found the perfect one near the back. "Excuse me miss but do you have any blonde wigs?" I asked curiously. She thought for a moment. "I believe we have a few in the back, let me go check." She replied. I smiled and waited for her. She came back with two wigs in her hand. One was a chin length, straight blonde and the other was mid-back length with beautiful curls. "How much for the curly one?" I asked. "$125 or $150 for placement." She answered. I handed her $150 and took my seat in one of the chairs. I spent almost three hours in the salon, but when I walked out I had a curly blonde head of hair.
I went into one of the bathrooms and put on the new clothes, throwing the old ones in the bag. I took a look at myself in the mirror and the only noticeable thing was my eyes. I went into an eyeglass store and bought a pair of deep blue contacts. Once I put those in I was no longer Rose. I only had $20 left now so I made my way back to the motel. When I got there I was exhausted. I took off my clothes, but left on my bra and underwear. I climbed into the uncomfortable bed. And I had just shut my eyes when I was grabbed.
