"Damn, England, next time give me a heads up," America's voice said as my face stuck deeper into whatever the hell that French crap was called. "This could have been an epic video for the Internet!"
Yeah, he would totally love to make me look like an idiot to the unknown people of the Internet. Jerk! I thought I taught him to be more like a gentleman.
"America! We shouldn't publicly display England's malheur," France's voice stated.
"France, he's fully clothed. I was not thinking of publicly displaying England's-"
"You don't speak française, do you?" France's voice asked cutting America's voice off.
Oh dear, what did America think malheur meant? It had to have been perverted. Blimey, I thought I raised him to not have a dirty mind.
"Well, England, didn't teach me any other languages."
How dare you blame me for your lack of language skills! I raised you so much better than that. Start acting like the gentleman I raised you to be!
"Should we take England's face out of the con au vin?" France's voice asked.
You mean you guys haven't considered doing this yet? Jerks! That should have been your first freaking instinct. I could be drowning for all you know!
"Let me take a picture first," America's voice, said. "This is so going to be used as the contact picture for him!"
No! Crap, now America has a picture of me with my head stuck in con au vin. He better not use that as blackmail. Shit, I just gave him blackmail material.
"I have a better picture of him for my contact picture," France's voice laughed. "Want to see?"
"Sure dude."
When did France get a picture of me? I don't remember posing for a picture for him or anything.
"Dude! That's disgusting! How did you get a picture of his malheur?"
What the hell? How did France get a picture of that? Please, please, please tell me that America isn't thinking that a malheur is a-
"He posed for me," France stated cutting my thoughts off.
When the hell did I do this? I don't remember doing something disgusting like that! I think I would have remembered doing something disgusting like that.
"That's seriously messed up."
"Want me to send you a copy?"
If you say "yes" America I'm so going to kill you. Yeah, once I get my face out of this French shit I'm so going to kill both of you. Crap, I forgot why can't I just get my head out of this French food?
Dang, that's what I should be more worried about. I shouldn't let my mind worry about France getting a disturbing picture of me. I should be more focused on getting my face out of the con au vin.
Shite, why can't I just get my face out of this like a normal person? And why did I have to slam my face into this crap like a not normal person. This is so humiliating.
Dang, this is terrible. France and America are looking at pictures of my body parts while my face is still stuck in a bowl of con au vin. Why does this have to be happening to me?
Wait a second, I'm hearing the sound of silence. It's like an audio dropout. I don't even hear the sound of the room.
Damn, I really wanted to hear America's answer to that question France asked him. I need to know if I need to kill him, along with France, later. Anybody that has a picture of me like that needs to die.
And I'm avoiding what's important again. I need to be more focused on what's going on with this silence thing. And why it's so dark in here.
Well, the darkness is no surprise. The Miriam hallucination thing started out with darkness. Shit, I better not find myself in a woman's body again.
I do not want to be anybody else ever again. I don't want to make out with Prussia ever again. That was a life experience I didn't need to experience.
I really don't want to be anybody else but myself. And yes that sounds cliché to the extreme, but it's true. Being somebody else just gets my face sucked by Prussia.
And that's disgusting. For multiple obvious reasons that I don't need to explain. I never want to be Miriam ever again.
Shit, I letting my mind wonder off on what's not important again. I need to be focusing on what's about to happen. And if I'm going to be myself in this hallucination or not.
I better be myself this time. I never want to be anybody else in a hallucination ever again. Hell, I don't want to have another hallucination ever again.
All my hallucinations suck. I had to watch a disturbing form of social bonding, then I had to watch am encouraged suicide, then I had to watch a forced cuddle, and then I had to be violated as a woman! These hallucinations have not been in my favor yet.
Well, on the bright side, I don't think I will relive any of these horrible turns of events. I have a good feeling that I won't have a hallucination on Prussia ever again.
Okay, sure it's just a good feeling. And I shouldn't just assume that I won't hallucination on Prussia ever again. Why does that sound dirty?
Anyway, I just know that I won't have a hallucination on Prussia ever again. And yes, I know that I've had two hallucinations that involved Belarus. But hell I just have a feeling.
I just hope that this hallucination gets started soon. The sooner it gets started the faster I can get out. And the faster I can get out the sooner I can kill France for getting a picture like that of me.
Oh dear, the blinding whiteness is back. Please, please, please, don't have me end up in a freezer again. Well, maybe I won't end up back in the freezer.
I mean it's not cold or anything. But hell, if the familiar blinding whiteness is sort of back, so might the freezer.
A/N
This chapter was evil to write. So, that's why it on the suck side.
Okay Translations-
Malheur – misfortune
Française –French
And I have to give PotatoJerk the best answer- "The lack of echidnae at the zoo," completely ruins a class field trip.
Oh, and congrats to Doodle Sketch for being the 100th reviewer. I can't believe that I've made it to 100! I feel like I should offer Doodle Sketch a free oneshot in their name. I don't know. I'm kind of lazy, so I shouldn't promise anything.
Anyway New sets of Questions!
How should I celebrate making over 100 reviews?
What was America's answer to France's question?
What did America think malheur meant?
How did France get that picture?
If you had England as a contact in your phone what your picture of him be?
What should I get my editor for her birthday?
E/N
You should buy your editor dinner to celebrate
America better have said no! He was raised by England! It would be so weird if he said yes!
And Malheur obviously meant willy to me…Just saying…
And France obviously got the picture in the "longer than 20 seconds"
My contact picture of England would be him drinking tea. I like natural pictures.
Holy crap…my birthday is coming up, isn't it? O.O I vote nothing…
