Ok, so I got a bit carried away and Ranger didn't make it into this chapter. But the Merry Men did. Don't you fret though, he is already in the beginning of the next one.

CHAPTER 29

LUNCH AGAIN?

"Steph wait." Connie said to me as I was getting ready to head out of the bonds office. She held a envelope in her hand, looking hesitant to give it to me. "I was asked to give this to you."

"From who?" The first thing that ran through my head was my stalker.

"Don't worry, it's not your stalker." She must have sensed what I was thinking. "Just take it." She urged me.

I took it from her and left the office, not looking at it until I was in Joe's truck with the heater running. There was a short notE tucked inside the envelope. I pulled it out and opened it up.

Lunch at Shorty's.
Please come.
Your MM

Your MM? Merry Men. Oh, so now they think their my Merry Men again? I think I actually growled out loud as I gripped the steering wheel tightly. What's done has been done. Why can't they just move on and leave it alone? I'm really trying to do that myself, but every time I start moving one or more of them gets in my face. I'm really trying to move on and seemed to be actually making progress until Ranger came back to town and started flipping all my progress upside down again.

So do I meet them for lunch or not? If I go maybe I can just set them straight on how I feel and they will back off. Maybe. Didn't work so well with Ranger. If I don't go then they will keep pestering me. What to do? What to do? To go or not to go? That is the question.

I went to the bank and deposited most of the money from Vinnie, leaving a little bit in my pocket for shopping tonight. On the way to see Joe and Emily I called Mary Lou. She was out with the kids and Lenny picking out a Christmas tree and then heading to the mall for pictures with Santa. Mare sounded so much better than she did yesterday and sounded like she was enjoying her time out with the family. I didn't want to interrupt that so I told her to call me if she needed anything or just wanted to talk. My visit with Joe and Emily lasted until they had to head to Joe's brother's house for lunch. It was nice having them here in town. I was sure going to miss them when they returned back to DC after the holidays.

So that left me sitting here at lunch time debating on what to do. I could go home and start researching this skip. Boring. I didn't really want to start working on him until after Christmas anyways. I could go see Ranger and give him back these envelopes I've been avoiding in my purse so far today. Not looking forward to that, I was still a little flustered from last night. Every time I thought about him sleeping next to me I got the chills. The good kind of chills even though I denied it to myself. That left lunch at Shorty's with the Rangeman guys. I didn't really want to do that either, but I might as well pick one. So off to Shorty's I went.

I walked into Shorty's with my head held high swallowing the nervous butterflies and trying to appear confident. Unlike the last time I walked into Shorty's to join these guys for lunch, this time they started scooting around to make room for me as they saw me walking towards their table. Little did they know that I wasn't planning on sitting down. Instead I stood at the front of the table as I did earlier this month, except I waited for them to speak first this time.

"Do you want to sit?" Vince asked me cautiously.

"No" I simply said and then waited for someone to say something else. I looked at everyone who was sitting at the table. Ram, Cal, Vince, Junior, Hal, Woody, Binky, Bones and Zero were all sitting there. Everyone who was here last time except for Tank and Bobby. After about a minute I was getting impatient and hungry as the smells of pizza filled the place. "Was there a reason you wanted me to meet you guys here or not?"

"Steph, we wanted a chance to apologize to you." Junior said. He was the one who spoke up last time, so I suppose it was appropriate for him to be the one to speak up this time as well. "We were wrong. We're sorry." I just stood there and stared. Did they really think a 'we're sorry' would make everything better. "Please accept our apology."

"Fine, I accept your apology." I said.

I watched as they all relaxed in relief, except for Hal. Yeah, he knew that me accepting the apology didn't change anything from my perspective.

"Do you want to sit now?" Junior asked again and paused. "and have lunch with us?"

"No." Even though the pizza the waitress just set on the table was looking so good. All that melting cheese and hot pepperoni. Yum! The sight and smells making my stomach grumble.

"Why not?" I think it was Binky who asked from the back of the table.

"Me accepting your apology doesn't change anything." It was tearing me up to stand here and act like a cold bitch to these guys. From the outside it may look like none of this bothers me, or at least I hope it does, but it was ripping at my heart on the inside. I wish I could tell them how much it hurts every time I see one of them. How it brings back the memories of the last time I was in here with them and they tore what Ranger left of my heart out and stomped on it like I was nothing to them.

"What do you mean it doesn't change anything?" Vince asked actually sounding surprised.

"It doesn't change the fact that you guys think I'm a slut jumping between Joe and Ranger's bed. It doesn't change the fact that you guys think I was just using Ranger." Memories of the last time I was here at this same table talking to these guys flowed through my mind. How they said I was the problem. I was the one who drove Ranger off. I was stringing him along. I was playing games with him.

"Steph we were wrong. We're sorry." Cal spoke up.

"You were wrong?" I asked sarcastically before answering the question myself. My voice rose. "Damn right you were wrong! But the thing is, is that these perceptions of me didn't just pop into your heads the instant Ranger left. You guys had to have been feeling this way about me for a while, maybe even since you all met me." I looked around the table at them, glancing at each of them but not long enough to make eye contact with any one of 'em. It was hard enough standing here trying to keep control of my emotions.

"I accepted everyone of you just how you were. I loved you guys for who you were. You guys accepted me because of Ranger. Ranger wanted me there, so you guys just tolerated me and kept your mouths shut until he left." I paused again trying to keep my voice low enough not to let the entire restaurant hear what I was saying. "As soon as you thought he was done with me, you wasted no time letting me know how you really felt. Which made it obvious to me that you never really considered me your friend as I did you guys. I was probably just some big joke to you."

"No" I heard someone say, but wasn't quick enough to catch who it was.

"I'm done being everyone's joke. Finished being your entertainment." I couldn't look at them any longer. Instead I eyed the pizza sitting on the table again. "You know, I appreciate the apology, but it doesn't change a thing between us."

"Come on bomber, there's got to be something we can do..."

I almost lost it at the use of the nick name the guys gave me years ago when things just started blowing up when I was around. I quickly cut him off. "Yeah, you guys can leave me alone. That's what you can do."

With those last words I reached and grabbed a piece of their pizza before turning around and eating it as I walked out of Shorty's. It was either stuff my face with the pizza or cry. I ate the piece pizza, wishing I would have grabbed two slices.

After dealing with the Rangeman guys there was definitely no way I could deal with Ranger right now. Those envelopes would just have to wait. I had to keep myself from calling Mary Lou again and again to check on them. It was hard. But the last time I talked to her she sounded good and seemed to be enjoying her time out with Lenny and the kids. I just had to keep telling myself that she would call me if she needed anything and that I would be spending Christmas with them anyways.

That piece of pizza did nothing but tease my stomach, it needed more. I wanted to stuff my self so full that I forgot about everything but being stuffed full. So I did the only thing I could do. I went to Pino's and ordered my own pizza. I sat in the corner booth by myself pretending to read the file that Vinnie gave me while I ate. Mostly just staring at it so I looked like I was doing something other than thinking about my conversation with the guys at Shorty's and sitting alone waiting for my pizza.

I feel like a fuckin' yo yo these past couple days. With someone jerking my string playing walk the dog, around the world or just swinging me up and down. My emotions were just all over the place from high to low. From happy to sad. From content to depressed. Half of the time I didn't know what I should be feeling. I really need to get control back. My thoughts ran wild as I continued staring at the folder waiting on my pizza.

Between my thoughts I did catch that the guy was working as a firefighter for the Trenton Fire Department, station 4, before his arrest. As I ate my pizza I thought about that and what I had read about him the other day when I looked at the file in Vinnie's office. If he was from a very influential and wealthy New Jersey family, then what was he doing working as a firefighter in Trenton. Interesting. I sat there wasting time eating my pizza, watching a hockey game on the TV trying not to think about my crazy life until it was time to go meet the girls at the bonds office for some shopping. Now that's something that can cheer a girl up, especially when she has some money to spend.

It was nearly eleven before the three of us made it back to the bonds office and sorted all of our bags into our vehicles. I got all the shopping done that I didn't have money to do before, plus got some extra gifts I wasn't planning on getting. There was only one more to take care of and hopefully I could do that tomorrow morning. All I needed for that was my laptop.

Looking over at the other seat in the truck I could still see that the envelopes from Ranger were still in my purse. I spent all day making up excuses to myself and finding other things to do so I wouldn't have to go and see him. Such a chicken shit I am. Knowing him he would probably be showing up at my apartment sometime tonight anyways and I could just give them back to him then. Hopefully I wasn't such a pushover tonight.

I talked to Lester on the way home. He was busy packing things up in his apartment in Newark before he goes out of town with the rest of they guys after Christmas. His lease was up as of the first of the year and since he hasn't spent much time there since he completed the house, he decided to let it go. I had almost forgot about him going out of town. Hopefully it works out and they end up hiring some new guys, he's been wanting to take some time off to finish the little fishing cabin by the lake we fished at.

After I parked the truck I grabbed all the bags from the back of the truck and headed upstairs. I balanced the bags and dug out my key. Without totally looking up so I wouldn't drop the bags I maneuvered the key to the key hole. When I gave the key a push to go in, the door swung opened instead.

What the hell? I know I didn't leave my door open or unlocked. I set the bags down just inside the door and put my hand in my purse on my stun gun as I stepped around the corner to look inside. There was not one thing I could see that was not broken, cut up or spray painted. Now you see what I mean. A yo-yo. I had a great time shopping with the girls, then I come home to find this.

The TV was smashed on to the floor. The stand it was on looked like someone swung a baseball bat into it and was split in the middle. There were colorful words painted in colorful paint across the walls. Bitch. Whore. Slut. That was just a few of them. A couple empty spray cans laid on the floor. My couch cushions no longer had cushion in them. Stuffing was spread out around the floor. Deep scratches were covering the coffee table. I walked into my bedroom without touching anything, actually surprising myself by how calm I was about my place being trashed. Maybe it was just shock. Or maybe I wasn't really surprised by this anymore, I mean come on it happens all the time.

All of the clothing from my closet and dresser were all over the floor with paint splattered all over them. Anything that was breakable in there was broken. I looked around the room again because something was missing. The one thing I was looking for to see if it was smashed. Ranger's chair. Where did the chair go? I know it was here this morning. Why would someone take the chair of all things? The fact that it was taken was bothering me more than it should have and totally stumped me at the same time. That damn chair doesn't have any significance to anyone but Ranger and I. And I should be happy it's gone, right? I pushed the thought of the chair to the side and continued on. In the bathroom my make-up was spilled all over the place and used to write messages on the mirror and the walls. The room was decorated with about three rolls of toilet paper. Seriously! Are we back in high school now. That's a pretty childish thing to do. While I carefully walked back through the room and avoided disturbing anything I called Hector.

"Hola Chica!" Hector said when he answered.

"I think my stalker struck again." I told him skipping the hello as I stepped out of the bedroom.

"What happened?" He asked.

"My apartment is totally trashed." I explained even though I hadn't stepped into the kitchen yet. I was pretty sure it would be similar to what the other rooms looked like.

"Don't go inside." He said sounding a little worried. I didn't say anything to acknowledge what he said. He took that as an answer. "You're already in, aren't you?"

"Uh...yeah." I said. "But whoever was here already left." I added in quickly before he could say anything else."

With a sigh he said, "Call the police. It will take me a little while to get there, I'm on the other side of town."

I called Lester first then the police as I stood looking into the kitchen from the doorway. All of the cabinets in the kitchen were open, but not one thing was left inside of them. Everything was on the floor. If it was breakable it was broken. Except for one thing. A bottle of wine. The bottle of wine I forgot about. The one that I bought to celebrate with Ranger after Joe's and my breakup was made official. The one that I stuck way up in the back of the cabinet. Out of sight. Out of mind. How come that didn't break?

I picked up the bottle as I stepped into the kitchen. I walked through looking at all the stuff on the floor. There was one thing there that caused me to stop dead in my tracks. I stared at it for a minute in shock before bending down to pick it up off of the floor. It was bent up, but not broken. Out of all the things I've seen ruined or smashed since I walked in the apartment this one hurt the most. With shaking hands I bent it back into shape the best I could.