Chapter 29: So Close

Muta couldn't help smirking to himself as he saw the boy Machida wander up through the castle in his fruitless search for Haru. Not that Muta had anything against the boy – he had never spoken to him – but if Haru had to choose between Machida and Baron... well, he'd know which side he would be cheering for.

"Lost something?" he commented dryly.

It had to be getting late; a light covering of black fur was beginning to become noticeable on him – a sign that he'd stayed in the Refuge for a while. But, as long as he returned to the human world by the next sunrise, the change wouldn't be permanent.

Machida scowled. "What would you know?"

Muta couldn't help grinning knowingly at that, just to annoy the youth further. Okay, now he could judge the boy, now that he'd actually met him. And Machida wasn't making a particularly good impression of himself so far.

"More than you do, apparently," Muta commented smugly. He turned his back to the boy.

There were a few moments as Machida battled with himself, but then he finally decided he wasn't going to humble himself by asking the know-it-all cat. He could find Haru fine by himself. He stormed away, much to Muta's amusement.

The cream cat chuckled to himself. "You know, if you'd actually bothered to ask, I might've told you," he muttered, although Machida was out of earshot by then.

ooOoo

Haru watched as Baron attempted to follow her instructions for her contemporary routine. Then she started laughing.

"What?" Baron demanded, but he was also laughing. Wow, it was good to hear her laugh again.

"It's just your expression," she told him, hiding her mouth behind her hand to muffle her laughter.

"What's wrong with it?"

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it..."

Baron stopped. "Then what is it?"

"A few things. One, you look like you're concentrating intensely–"

"That's probably because I am."

"And two, I never thought I'd ever see you do contemporary."

"You're the one who offered to teach me," Baron reminded her, smiling.

"Yeah, I know..."

"What if you show me the routine again?"

Haru blushed. "I told you; I'm really bad at it."

Baron chuckled. "You're better than me."

Haru huffed and pretended to be annoyed, but she couldn't stop herself smiling. Even if she didn't believe him. "Okay." She skimmed through the routine for there was no music to set a beat or rhythm. She managed to get through it without any incident and soon was turning round to Baron.

"Your turn."

Baron followed the same routine, but he did it with a slightly different style to Haru. After a moment he commented with, "I hadn't realised how feminine contemporary is."

"It isn't."

"Yes it is."

Haru watched him for a moment longer. "Perhaps you just need music," she suggested. "Can we get music in here?"

"I'm sure I'll be able to find something." He concentrated and then brought out a glowing grey ball with several dials on the side, in much the same way he'd summoned the umbrella.

"And what is that?"

"A radio. Of sorts," he added. He placed it on the side. "I think we can even get a few human stations on this."

Haru's interest was piqued. She picked it up and switched on one of the dials. Suddenly music was blaring out of it at full volume.

"Turn it down!" Baron shouted over the radio.

Haru flicked back the dial she'd originally pressed. "Sorry." She grinned and offered to him. "Maybe you should get it working."

"Maybe I should." He turned one of the dials right down – Haru assumed that was the volume – and flicked it on again. This time the music came on, but at a fraction of the volume it had been at before.

Baron didn't look impressed with the music... or the lyrics... "Do you like this?" he asked Haru, but the two of them knew that what he was really asking was permission to change the station.

"Not really, see if you can find anything better."

Baron twiddled another dial and the music gave way to the buzz of interference and then finally to another song. It was only a few bars into the intro by the sound of it, and it sounded a lot calmer than the previous song. Baron smiled and decided this would do fine.

Please take down the mistletoe

Cause I don't wanna think about that right now

Cause everything I want is miles away

In a snow covered little town.

My momma's in the kitchen, worrying about me;

Season's greetings, hope you're well...

"Change it please," Haru said suddenly.

Baron switched it off immediately, cutting off the music in mid-flow. There was something in Haru's voice. Something composed of shock and grief. He didn't need to ask what it was. He could guess.

The brunette looked over to Baron with haunted eyes.

"What's the date?" she asked.

Baron had to think about it for a moment. "The twenty fourth."

"Christmas eve," she murmured in a broken voice.

Baron hesitated for a moment, then brought her into an embrace. "Are you alright?"

"No," she whispered truthfully.

Baron blamed himself for this; he should've seen this coming! Christmas wasn't celebrated in the Cat Kingdom, but he should've remembered the date. He should've done something. And now it was almost too late – the clock was nearing midnight.

"I miss mum," Haru told him. "I miss Hiromi. I want to go home."

And yet they both knew that was an impossibility. Baron sighed and flicked the radio back on.

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,

In the lane, snow is glistening

A beautiful sight,

We're happy tonight.

Walking in a winter wonderland.

He stepped away and offered her a hand. "Dance with me?"

Haru glanced desolately at the offered hand, then to his face. She sniffed slightly and wiped her eyes as she fought back tears. The music was dreadfully cheerful, almost too cheerful for her.

Baron didn't withdraw his offer. His eyes were begging her to take it.

She looked at the hand again, but this time placed hers in his.

Instead of attempting to follow the contemporary routine, Baron pulled her into a slow waltz. It was a strange accompaniment to the merry tune, but it was all that Haru could find in herself to do.

Gone away is the bluebird,

Here to stay is the new bird

He sings a love song

As we go along,

Walking in a winter wonderland.

He guided her into a slow twirl; his eyes only on her. She allowed him to lead her through the motions, slowly letting herself fall into the music. It was easier in some ways than she expected. It drowned out all other thoughts that may have hurt her.

Later on we'll conspire

As we dream by the fire

To face unafraid,

The plans that we've made

Walking in a winter wonderland.

Baron couldn't resist joining in with the last line, and Haru partially did so as well, although her voice was a lot sweeter and quieter than his. But apart from that they barely passed a word. Another steady swirl, another careful step. The routine was simple, but surprisingly satisfying.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,

Though your nose gets a chilling

We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way

Walking in a winter wonderland.

With the last lines coming to an end Baron brought them both to a standstill, but it was Haru who brought that standstill into a hug.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"For what?"

"For just being you."

"I cannot take credit for that."

"You shouldn't be so modest," she grumbled mildly, "or people will overlook you."

"The people who are important to me don't," he replied, "and that's all that matters."

Haru blushed. The last dredges of the music faded, giving way to another Christmas song, but they weren't really listening to it anymore. It could've been "Last Christmas" but it wasn't really important. She leant against him, intertwining one hand with one of Baron's. His gloves were on, like they always were. Without really thinking about it she slowly tugged one glove off.

Baron froze at the movement; there was a reason he kept his gloves on. However much Haru tried to hide it, at times she wasn't all together too comfortable with his appearance. Maybe it was because she saw what she could've become if the magic of the Refuge had been allowed to run its natural course. And his hands were a part of him which embodied both his cat and human side of him.

The glove came off revealing his hand, which was a bizarre mix of both species. The glove usually hid it, but his hand was like a human hand, except that it was furred and very slightly padded. Alternatively, it could be seen as a cat paw except for the fact that it also had fingers. His nails were claws, but they were part-retractable. Not that he was about to scare Haru any more by pointing that out.

Baron glanced down at the brunette's face. She was looking at his hand with new eyes, her own hand curled up against his. The contact was new to both of them; Haru had never felt his hand, and his gloves had always prevented any contact for him with his own hands.

And yet she wasn't running away or screaming. This was good.

"I can't change what I am," he said softly. Almost apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"No..." protested Haru weakly. "No, don't be." She looked up; their faces were so close. She could almost kiss him; it'd be so easy. "I... I shouldn't blame you for something you cannot change. I'm the one who should be sorry."

His eyes were dizzying at this distance. She was slowly losing herself in their emerald depths. Again, the idea of kissing him came to mind. And, once again, she banished it away, but it was tempting.

Baron was watching her intensely, trying to work out what was going on in her head. Trying to work out whether it was good or bad. He hoped it was good. She had been quiet for a while now... perhaps she was waiting for him to say something. A faint reddening of embarrassment came over him at that... What was he meant to say? What was she expecting of him?

"Look... Haru..." He was surprised that his voice was a tad hoarse. Was that due to his nerves? He lost his train of thought and left his sentence hanging. He tried to start again. "Haru... I think you're..." He wanted to tell her exactly how he felt, but something was stopping him. Perhaps he felt that if he admitted how he felt she'd feel obliged to return those feelings... or maybe that he would never be able to take back his words and their relationship could fall apart... He wanted to tell her he thought she was amazing and beautiful and brilliant, but he didn't know how to say it. He meant every word, but those words just wouldn't come.

She tilted her head in part-confusion. "Yes Baron?"

Even with the fur she could tell he was blushing. She couldn't stop herself from thinking how adorable that was. Even if he wouldn't appreciate being called adorable.

"What I... what I mean is..."

Haru giggled slightly despite herself. It was so unlike him to be like this.

Baron looked frustrated. This was ridiculous; his nerve was failing him now? He looked to Haru, hoping his eyes would portray what words were failing to do.

She met his gaze evenly with a look of her own. She smiled and leant in, their faces ever closer.

'Go on,' her heart whispered.

Did she dare?

'Go on.'

Baron could now see the intention, but could also see her hesitation. He didn't know whether to encourage her or what. He didn't know which he would regret more; which would do less damage. She didn't want him, she liked Machida. Would he break that resolve?

And yet his own heart was in chorus with Haru's.

'Go on.'

"Haru?"

The two of them sprang apart at the new voice. Machida was standing at the door.

"Haru, what's going on?"

ooOoo

A/N: Well the second song is the well known Winter Wonderland as the majority of you have probably guessed, but the snippet of the first song is Christmas when you were Mine; one of the only Christmas songs able to make me cry.