The Doll
By Final Serenity
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Chapter Twenty Eight
The Beginning of the Start
"I can't believe…"
"What that you're dressed that way, or that I actually convinced you to come out?" Miroku gave a congratulatory smirk, of course the smirk was meant to congratulate his fine work on bringing out the hanyou from hiding. "Well I should think you would be happy to be out of the apartment!"
Inuyasha didn't bother to re-act his tired eyes being shielded by a thick pair of sunglasses. "No, I want to go back…"
It was nothing new to hear such a defeated tone in the hanyou's voice, after all he'd been subjected too in the past month Miroku was surprised that he was so mournful and not bitter or edgy. The people that screamed and ran away; then there were the murmurs constantly floating around caught only by his ears. The men who'd throw things, the women who'd covered their children's ears, eyes and mouth to protect them from the Inuyasha.
The police had come to his apartment arrested him in public eye and had camera's flashing like crazy getting the story of a lifetime.
The story of his downfall…
It had all happened to fast his eyes blinked and it was over; or rather continuing on and dragging around this pattern of complete disintegration of his character.
"I really want to go back." He stated hoarsely the pain of all this taking its new found home in his mind and spreading further infecting every part of his mind…even more the fact that it nearly killed him how Kagome found out who he was.
How could he let this happen…how could this all fall apart so quickly what had he done to deserve this? Was this his true torture, his punishment for the years of dishonesty and death of so many…was he too feel the loss and pain they endured…Was he doomed to suffer the rest of his life, knowing that the woman he loves could never be his?
It…it was depraved and made him sick, his stomach dropped bottom and his heart…oh his heart…
The pieces that had converged back together with the help of Kagome…it didn't break; it didn't fall back into little shattered shards of a lost hope…No…that would mean there would be a chance for his heart to get put back together, that there was a chance for life again…this time was the final chapter of his organ.
There was no hope with her out of reach; no good thoughts or remedies that could save him from this fate…his heart was dieing without her. He knew that there was no way in the heavens he could ever even begin to fix what has happened and honestly he didn't want to try; she was better off with a man that could give her the world, or really…a whole heart.
His was missing so many pieces that it was ridiculous to think he could give the most important person in the world to him; what she really needed. Sure money could buy everything to take care of her…but that's not what Kagome wanted or needed…she needed the intangible things, the emotions others had around her…love. He knew that the most he could give her…
Was a broken man, with a distorted past and a lumpy heart…
She deserved perfection, or something close too it.
"Miroku," he quietly choked out, why…why couldn't he have been born as someone else? Why did he have to die like this? Why did he have to die at all…why did he have to die alone? "…I can't do this…I can't…"
"Well you actually showed up." Her voice quipped as they rounded the corner.
At first sound of a female voice his eyes snapped shut and his head turned away; feet halting in place Inuyasha waited for the blood shattering scream that many women can produce to pierce the air…but it never came. He waited a few more seconds for good measure before letting one of his lids pry open; the smell should have alerted to him exactly what woman it had been that stopped the two men, but he hadn't taken a breath since she'd spoken.
It wasn't expected on Inuyasha's part to see Sango standing there in the middle of the sidewalk with her arms folded and a bag slung over her shoulder; her face had a smirk while her eyes narrowed slightly at the hanyou.
"Rude you know," she started while tilting her hips to the side. "You should say something instead of just standing there looking like that idiot."
The half-breed followed her eye movement; and sure enough standing next to him Miroku in a shimmering purple vest with a black long-sleeved undershirt, was drooling and eyes glazed over. His sight was set on Sango, well actually her exposed legs she was wearing a knee high teal striped skirt.
"Miroku…" sauntering up to the monk she gave him a soft smile and put her hand tenderly on his cheek…
Inuyasha couldn't help but think that was absolutely baffling he thought that Sango…
WHACK!!!
"You depraved perv!"
He nodded while folding his arms that had been executed well he had to say. If anything he'd give it a ten just because she'd tricked the purple clad man into thinking otherwise. Also counting the added distance of a good guess…four and three fourths feet he'd give her a bonus; and for just hitting him in general. After all Inuyasha wanted to murder his friend still, so watching him get slapped around by a woman that was smaller than himself was rather enjoyable.
"Ooh Sango…you shouldn't wear such revealing clothing!" he shot back in defense while scrapping his body off the ground.
"Shut up you little weirdo I've been waiting for over an hour!" the tone she mustered was tinted with a slight higher pitch…more feminine?
Miroku probably didn't notice it, but Inuyasha did…in fact this whole thing seemed a bit weird, he didn't know that they interacted outside of the relationship or lack thereof that he and Kagome had. That and Sango just didn't like Miroku…or that she did and didn't show it very well or didn't want to so she beats him up to hide her true feelings…something like that.
"Oh my stars!" Miroku placed a hand on his forehead before jolting up from the ground. "I completely forgot about our date!"
"What date, no more date for you mister this was your one and only chance and you blew it sky high!" glaring at him she did a full turn and started stomping her way down the cement path.
Miroku looked horrified as he contemplated what to do; Inuyasha watched his friends face twist and turn as he thought about his next action. The entire thing seemed weird to the hanyou…first of all Miroku said 'oh my stars' even though that sounded completely irregular the part that got him was the fact that Miroku forgot a date.
He just doesn't forget dates, not the man who set the bar for being a world known lecher, any date was a chance for him to cop a feel.
"Miroku…" he didn't even know where to begin after all he was the last person to give advice about love, given the current state in his own matters.
"Inuyasha! I can't let her get away," the monk burst out while grabbing the hanyou's shoulders and shaking them fiercely. "She's different from all the other women, different I tell you!!!" frantically he let go of the half-breed and pointed across the street and down further where there was a large recreation area. "Go hang out in that park for a while, I'll be back in like ten minutes and we'll go get something to eat like planned, I just got to go...go…"
"Go." Inuyasha nudged his head towards the fuming Sango was currently trying to cross the street.
"Thanks buddy!!!" he called out while making a sprint towards the woman.
Inuyasha watched his monk friend as he skidded to a halt and start talking to the newest interest; though he was rather skeptical about the whole thing…really this wasn't right, whatever was going on…
His shielded golden eyes strayed from the arguing couple to the direction Miroku had pointed too; why a park of all places? This was his chance to go back to the apartment and think about how he screwed up and wallow in endless pity. Rolling his eyes he checked both sides of the street and started to cross; even though he wanted desperately to go back, he might as well get fresh air…hopefully there would be no one in the park then he could take off the stupid getup.
The monk had suggested a disguise because of the reaction most people had when seeing him in his normal appearance. So as he hopped over the curb and a woman stared at him she didn't scream; just looked him over, probably wondering about what colored eyes were behind the shades he wore. A black wig securely covering his silver hair; he wasn't a vain man, but he preferred his long wild silver mane over this black dull fake wig. It did look rather good on him…but it wasn't the same.
Letting out a sigh he shook his head, he was getting tired of it all, the same old thoughts running through his head. He just wanted to finish the day without having someone scream 'run for your lives the monster is coming!'. Yeah that would be a good day…
So with a breath he let his head rise up a little to watch where he was heading; the park was at the end of the street and surrounded by a fence that wasn't much of a fence. It was called Penguin Park for a reason after all there was a large blue penguin in the middle of the whole park that doubled as a slide.
But…what was that on the slide?
A woman…a woman holding something carefully on her lap…Was this a joke, was this some sick prank by Kikyo again that he should have to face and endure? Gritting his teeth the hanyou gripped the fake hair atop his head and ripped it off; well if this was a joke, a stupid prank he sure as heck wasn't going to go out there as another person.
No he'd face this as himself…even though there was nothing he could do to redeem himself as the hanyou he once was being someone else would be wrong. Stepping forward he shook out his hair while taking the glasses off with one quick snap of his wrist…but as the newly lit world came into sight, as the breeze carried the delicious scent that the woman had…
All in the world for him became anew, it had been the first time in nearly a month his eyes were blessed in seeing someone who defined the word of beauty to him.
Ironic really… That the one day Miroku finally gets him out of the apartment; somehow the monk forgets a date, and tells him to go to the same park the very same park, that she was in.
That monk…and Sango was probably in on it!
With a shuffle of his feet he came to the edge of the small cement ring that surrounded the large blue penguin; he bit the inside of his cheek as he saw her just sitting there on the edge of the slide her feet dangling off.
Beautiful…the most beautiful thing his eyes ever beheld was simply sitting there cradling something in her lap. He stopped breathing and hadn't realized it until his lungs demanded the consumption of air; with a swift breath he pulled his hands from the pockets of his pants that he had unknowingly stuffed them in. He felt that out of respect he should present himself this way…at least the way she had known him or something like that…he was confusing himself.
For being a half demon of insurmountable strength…Inuyasha could feel an unfamiliar prick at the back of his eyes as they gazed down at the box in her hands. It was the fourth box that he remembered her pulling from the side of her bed, down through the crack where her others had been. Still on the lid of the tin rectangular box had a faded piece of paper with a crayon drawing of what was him when he had been a doll.
She'd kept it all these years…
"Kagome…" he didn't know what to say or how to speak for the matter so many things… "I didn't want it to be like this." Scuffing his feet he turned his head upwards and looked to the sky.
"I should have told you who I was, you had every right to know but I…I was too afraid." The hanyou could feel his mind shrinking back, fading into something that wasn't close to who he was…a coward.
"Inuyasha…"
He cut her off by shaking his head and looking down at her with pained eyes. "It's true. All of it was true. I murdered them, I murdered them out of pleasure, and I wanted to see them cower in pain."
He was shaking…
"I loved to hear their tortured words as they pleaded for me to spare them; I lusted after each breath they took towards their last."
His eyes pleaded…
"I killed them with no pity, no remorse…they had families, friends and children and yet I continued to manipulate them. It was so easy to get them to bend to my will,"
His voice cracked…
"They would crack under it all and become little tools to me and I used them…I used them till I bored and then I moved on. I couldn't stop, I didn't want too and each time I made one die I felt a rush like an addiction I couldn't subside…"
He was breaking…
Inuyasha with his amber eyes bathed in the glistening tears fell to his knees no longer able to hold himself up; his arms limp to his side as his head fell forward. "I…I…"
The clattering of tin sounded throughout the barren park, making the half-breed cringe…she was angry, mad and…and…
Wrapping her arms around him?
"You've changed," she whispered as her head tucked itself in the crook of his neck. "You helped me more than anyone, you saved me when my father died, you came to my rescue even though I didn't ask you too…Inuyasha," she gave out a giggle while feeling the warm salty liquid stream down her cheeks. "You loved me more than anyone or anything else…and that's what…that's what makes me love you too."
Inuyasha froze and just for that second; just for that short second…he regained something that he'd lost so long ago; throughout the torture that humans inflicted on him, all the pain suffered at hands of another…Through the lost hope of five hundred years to being ripped from the arms of the only person he'd ever loved…With a relaxing sigh he wrapped his arms around her bringing her in as tight as he could knowing this time…this time he'd never let go not for anything…
Inuyasha finally felt complete, his heart felt…finished piecing together.
"Kagome…" he couldn't thank her enough for the life that she'd given back to him, thank her for the world she showed him beyond the vengeance, hatred, betrayal and pain that had been his childhood. "I love you."
Finally…he was free…
