Alright you guys are going to like this. Maybe... Or maybe you'll hate me lol You'll see ;)

Nekura Ookami- I listen to Various artist. All types of music. Since I dance, I'm exposed to every type. I mostly listen to old R&B

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Song for this chapter - A Step You Can't Take Back & Lost Stars ~ both by Keira Knightley

Turning Tables

~Raph's POV~

Usually I'm not here unless she asks me to be, but it's been a couple weeks and I haven't really done anything except look around the whole freaking city for those 63 canisters of mutagen. April is gone. Wants nothing to do with either any of us... And since April and Lilly are best friends, Lilly probably wants nothing to do with us either.

Wouldn't blame her...

I'm just going to check. That's all this visit is. A check-up... Okay Raph, keep telling yourself that.

I've been hanging out with Lillian so much, and she's been so open minded about my problems that it's made me feel extremely annoyed. She makes me feel human talking to her because she listens to me, she looks through me not at me, she talks to me. She's not scared. It almost addicting. The only person that did that was April, but that was different. I told myself to try to avoid Lilly, to try to stop thinking about her and that would always work, especially with enemies like the ones I have- they distract me. But she always ends up calling or texting and that starts me over and I suddenly forget who I am.

I can't believe I actually like a human. Ridiculous... Fucking pathetic! But hey, I can't control my feelings... Yes, I can. Fuck... Even if I do like her I have to promise myself that I will never tell her. She has a life. For me to just intrude is not only selfish but it's dangerous.

Okay, so... I like her. A little bit. And since it's just a crush, it'll probably blow over when she pisses me off. Yeah... I'll just wait.

But for now I have to find out if she's with April on this whole situation. If she is, that's fine. It actually helps my situation. I'm just curious is all...

I get to her place and notice her window open, which was odd. I stuck my head in and saw nothing... Her door was shut. Doesn't really help me on where she went. Maybe she left, I'll just come back later. I would rather talk to her face to face than text or call her.

I begin to climb the fire escape to jump from the top of the building and the higher I got the more and more I could hear soft humming. The humming turned into full on singing as soon as I hit the top. I saw Lilly with her back resting against the edge, typing on her phone, her earphones in her ears as she sang softly to her music. Wow... She can even sing amazingly. This sure isn't helping me with my problem but man is it really awesome to listen to. She cleared her throat and sighed... I wonder if she's talking to April.

I jump over the edge and moved towards her. She held up her hand, causing me to jump back slightly. I didn't know she knew I was there. She finished whatever she was typing then tucked her phone away and took out her earphones. "You have a lot of explaining to do." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Shit... I sighed, "I kind of was hoping I'd get to you first before-"

"It's been how long? No text. No call. Did someone die?" She spat. "Someone better have or else you have to have a really good reason as to why you've been M.I.A-"

"The Krangg are back." I interrupted.

She shut her mouth and all the color went from her face.

"When we tried to stop them, canisters of mutagen were released all over the city. So we have to find them before someone else does and then they get hurt." I explained rather quickly. I walked over to her side, standing there just looking out into the city. I saw her gulp in fear and I snorted. "Don't worry. You're safe. None of my enemies know about you. And it'll take them a long time before they figure out about you."

She stared at me, her eyes wide with fear still. "You know, that doesn't really help my anxiety."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't worry. My brothers and I would die before anything happens to you or April."

She punched my arm, "Don't say that. That definitely does not help my anxiety."

I shook my head, "You're safe."

She sighed, "I trust you."

I nodded, "Speaking of April... Have you talked to her lately?"

She blinked for a second, "No." Then smirked. "Planning on confessing to her soon?"

I shook my head, "You're crazy." It's not her I actually like.

"I know. But what about her? Do you know why she's M.I.A or is it the same reason?"

Lilly has been the only one venting about her problems, and me, being the nice person that I am, I listen. But I have never really been able to do that, all but one time at least. Let's see how long she'll let me go. "Sorta."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I didn't give her a direct answer. For some reason, I didn't want to. So instead I just continued to talk. "Something happened..."

"What? She okay?" She asked worriedly.

"I don't know. See, we were on a Krangg ship. Those mutagen canisters were released all over the city while we were on the ship. So it was technically our fault, what happened." I didn't look at her face but I could tell she was getting more horrified the more I talked. "One of the canisters of mutagen fell on her dad. He's a mutant now and we have no idea how to change him back. We told April what had happened and she wants nothing to do with us."

Lilly shut her mouth and stayed silent.

"I wanted to tell you before she told you. That way you could decide whether or not you want to be friends with us. Whatever your decision is we'll respect it. But we will never leave you alone. Whenever you're in trouble, I'll be here..." I said quietly, feeling as though I was rambling. I'm not used to talking about my feelings. So doing this feels so weird.

She nodded, "Thanks for the options." She crossed her arms. "And I'm not some damsel in distress. You don't need to worry about me."

I shook my head, "No. I do. Lilly, April knows how to fight but we still worry about her. You don't know how to fight. You may act like you can defend yourself but what happens when one of my enemies gets you, takes you and uses you as bait to get to us? They will hurt you, you know?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "That won't happen."

"But what if it does? You could get seriously hurt." I chuckled. "Maybe even killed... We're not safe." I felt myself getting angry at her blindness. She's acting like a child! Completely oblivious over the fact that I'm a danger to not only her life but her family's. I'm not worth any amount of suffering I could indirectly cause.

"Your dad told me before anything-"

"Okay but this is different." I interrupted, my anger coming out in my voice causing her to jump. "Now, it's even more dangerous and its only gonna get worse. April decided to quit now and I don't blame her. You should do the same."

Lilly blinked, her hand on her chest. "Excuse me, I must have been confused at one point. I thought this was one of our little therapy sessions, I didn't realize you were going to start making my decisions for me as well."

I groaned, "I'm being serious."

"So am I. Raph, April does one thing, I do another. And yeah, what happened to her dad pisses me off but technically it's not your fault. Did you dump the mutagen on Mr. O'Neil? Did you aim for him? No. You can't control where shit falls. So, April doesn't want anything to do with you, doesn't mean I do to. You're my best friend."

"We were to April too. But she got sick of the danger. She wanted to be a normal teenager like you. Have a normal life. Worry about normal things." I sighed heavily, annoyance growing in my voice.

"Honey, I am far from normal. And again, I am not April. I want to be friends. I know the dangers. I still wanna be friends." She place a hand on my shoulder, I felt my chest tightened causing me to stop breathing. I looked at her soft smile, my eyes stared at the small hairs that fell from her lose bun and curled up right beside her cheeks just perfectly. Jesus Christ what am I doing? "Raph..."

I blinked, "Huh...?"

"I said, don't tell me what to do. I'm gonna do the opposite."

I smiled as small as I could and nodded. She's stupid. April left as quickly as she could and that's exactly what Lilly should do. "You're going to regret-"

"That's my problem. I'm gonna be okay. Trust me." She said with a cocky smile. "Now give me a hug."

My heart began to beat rapidly in my chest. I quickly shook my head, "No."

"Please? You've never given me a hug. You've given me like, a half hug. But I want a real best friend hug." She held out her arms. All I did was shake my head. "Raph...! Why do you hate me so much?" She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

I snorted amusingly, "I don't like that touchy shit. It's not that I don't like you."

"Okay well give me a hug now. Then you can go back to being weird." She mumbled, she held out her arms once again and walked closer to me.

I stared at her oddly, like she was crazy. I scooted away from her, trying to avoid all contact what-so-ever but she kept pushing forward. "Jesus Christ you're impossible." I finally wrapped my arms around her waist and let her wrap her arms around my neck. "Happy?" I asked, when she tighten her arms around my neck I knew she wasn't going to let go. Fuck...

She giggled, "I am. It's the first time you've ever hugged me." She said against my cheek. "You'd think I'd be uncomfortable because your chest is hard. But..." She gave a soft sigh and I couldn't control my muscles from tightening around her waist. "This is nice."

I smiled, "Yeah..."

She pulled away, her hands now resting on my chest. "April may stop talking to you guys but her decisions don't influence me. Remember that Raphael... What?"

I blinked awake from her golden eyes, they were like pits of molten gold. I couldn't help but get lost in them. It took me awhile to realize that we were closer than we've ever been. My eyes drifted to her soft pink lips, the same ones that have kissed my cheek and my head. I wonder what it would feel like if I...

Lilly's eyes widened, "What are you doing?" She asked with an awkward chuckle.

I shook my head awake, not realizing that I was... I WAS FUCKING LEANING IN TO KISS HER! I immediately let go of her and backed away. My heart began to hammer in my chest once again. I felt my whole body become cold in fear of what could have just happened, I felt sweaty and sick to my stomach. I may just throw up all over... "I..."

"Raph..." She laughed. "I don't know what that was but..."

"I'm... I... I don't know what just..." I began to back away from her, I could feel my face begin to grow extremely hot.

"If you wanted a kiss you should have just asked for one." She joked.

My eyes were wide, staring into hers. Was that supposed to be funny? I chuckled just to make her feel better... It wasn't funny. I shouldn't be here. I should really get going. Fuck me. Fuck me! What's wrong with me!? "I should go..."


~Lilly's POV~

When he hugged me, it was just a hug, but it was something more. I'm not about to get cheesy. All I'm saying is that, it was nice to hug a turtle that wasn't Mikey. Raph has never been intimate with me, he never hugs, he never cries, I'm always doing the work. So for him to show how protective he is of me really warmed my heart and made me want to hug him so that's why I asked. Then I pulled away and...he never did.

My heart was racing and no matter how much I ignored it, I couldn't help but get scared. I was scared. We've never been this close to each other's faces. I nearly puked when he started leaning in to...kiss me. Why did I want to puke? Because I found myself leaning in as well.

'Stop this. Stop this. Stop. This. Now.' My mind kept yelling at me. I mean, what was I doing? I immediately stopped and asked, "What are you doing?"

His eyes, which were half closed, suddenly became wide with horror. When he pulled away from me, my lower back suddenly felt...abandoned. "Raph, I don't know what that was but..."

The look of confusion and dismay made my heart sort of ache. He looked like a lost puppy. I had to think of something funny, quickly, so he wouldn't feel bad.

"If you wanted a kiss you should have just asked for one." I joked, suddenly becoming very sweaty.

He chuckled softly, I knew it was fake. "I should go..."

"If you have to..." God, what the hell is going to happen to this friendship now?

He turned to leave, my stomach sinking to the sight of his back. He stopped after taking a first step then turned quickly. I could tell he was trying to think of an explanation on what he was doing. "I didn't mean... I mean, I don't like you like that... I was just... I don't know what I was doing..."

I sighed, smiling at his words. "Were you curious?"

"Um..."

"It's okay to be curious, Raphael. It's not like girls throw themselves at you." I said. He shut his eyes and chuckled. "Oh shit," I gasped. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm-"

He shook his head, "I know what you meant."

I decided to shut my fucking mouth! Because all I'm saying it garbage. Fucking idiot. Why not just call him ugly? What the fuck is wrong with you Lillian? Honestly, can you get anymore dick-ish? Fuck...

Raph sighed heavily, "Um..."

I blinked, my stomach suddenly tightening. I wanted to puke...again. "Are you?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't want to make you think one way-"

"I won't..." Why do I sound so desperate? You just broke up with your boyfriend, bitch keep it in your pants. Honestly... "What's up?"

He shook his head, "I don't know. You always talk about Dylan-"

"David..."

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah... I guess I just was wondering. Since it's never going to happen to me."

When he says these things, on how he's never going to get a girlfriend or whatever, I choose to be quiet. I can't necessarily say he will. I don't know. This world is cruel. People are either into looks or money now. I have neither so I have no idea how in the world I got one of the hottest boys in school. The situation is different with Raph. He's not human. I can't do anything about that- I can't tell the future. And I refuse to say he's right.

"So your plan was to kiss a friend because they're not totally repulsed by you instead of not being kissed at all?"

"Yeah. No. Well... I don't have any friend who would...want to kiss me." He suddenly groaned. "I'm sounding too corny. I'm going home." He said before turning.

"Raph!" I laughed, grabbing his hand before he tried to leave. "If you're going to make up a plan that involves your friends, you should tell me first before you decide to do it." My voice was very soft so I wouldn't scare him. "Unless, you don't count me as a friend."

He sighed, he stared at me as if I was saying something stupid. "You know that's not true."

"Yeah, I know. I'm awesome..."

"It wasn't a plan. I didn't plan this out. It's an idea. I just thought of it." He then shook his head and attempted to push me off of him. "It was stupid to think of something like that. And it's selfish."

"How is it selfish?" I chuckled amusingly. How is it not though?

"How isn't it selfish? I'm using you, why? Because I'm 'curious'." He said, using his fingers as quotations. "No. That's dumb. And you're dumb if you don't think the same way."

I crossed my arms over my chest and scoffed, "Then I'm stupid. It's not a dumb idea."

"Lilly..."

"Raph..."

He growled, his eyes suddenly turning a shade darker than normal. My heart began to pound once again- I need to check with my doctor. My heart should not be doing this this often. "Lillian, don't push something you'll regret later."

Well, he said it. Now I gotta do the opposite. "There you go again, deciding for me. What if I was down-" what are you doing?! Stop this right this second!

"Are you?" He snapped almost as if I was making a cruel joke.

"Well... I mean... I mean..."

"You mean what?"

"Well, don't yell at me. You got me stuttering and shit." I snapped right back.

"I'm not yelling. It's loud out here, I'm using my outside voice."

"Well..." I felt like a balloon, my head just filling with more and more air, ready to pop at any moment. I felt my cheeks become very warm. I held them in my hands. "Fucking asshole..." I whispered.

"What?"

"You're making my face hot."

He rolled his eyes, "Can I go?"

"Do you like me?"

"What?"

"You heard me you big...pendejo..." I whined in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish that much! At all! And he has me speaking my father's native tongue. Jesus Christ!

"One, I don't know what that means. Two, I don't like you, that's why I didn't want to do this because you would think I did have any feelings for you. I don't. Never will." He huffed cruelly.

"Why not? I'm a cool person!"

"Lilly..." He rubbed his eyes, sighing over dramatically. "You know why."

"'Cause you're a turtle?"

"Yes. And you're a human. Thought that was obvious but apparently I have to spell out everything with you." Why is he being such a jerk?

"Okay... So you can't like me because I'm a human. But what if I liked you. What would happen then?" I asked, digging my own grave.

"I'd be pissed."

"Why?"

"Jesus, because I'm dangerous! I'm a turtle! I mean hello... I'm a fucking turtle."

"So?"

"So? What do you mean 'so'?"

"So what? I can like whoever I want to like. It's not like you can control people's feelings. It's not a choice. You just like someone."

"People. I am not people."

"Raphael!" I growled angrily, finally deciding to put my foot down. "When you are with me you are people. I don't care what you think about yourself when you're not with me. Here, in front of me, you are a person. Granted, an annoying one... But you're still a person to me." I shook my head. "So, stop saying these things about yourself. If I can't call myself ugly, fat or every name in the book then you can't either. Got it?"

He seemed taken aback from my outburst. He was fucking asking for it. I heard him take a deep breath, probably trying not to blow up as well. He then shook his head, a look of disappointment and sadness on his face. "Why would you want to kiss something like me?"

My heart nearly stopped at his self loathing. Liking Raph is definitely one of the weirdest things I could do. There's so many consequences that could go with being in an actual relationship with any of his brothers; obvious restrictions. It's just sad to see someone convince themselves that they are never going to be loved by somebody else. I know someday someone will love me and one day I'll be able to love. But to stop yourself from an emotion that's so terrifying yet so beautiful at the same time all because the world decided to give you a shit life... Enough to make me cry.

"Raph..."

"I don't want to hear any cliché bullshit on how they'll be someone out there who won't find me disgusting and will want to be with me. And even if there is someone...how long will she tolerate?" He said, his voice was angry, frustrated, sad...

"Or...he, I mean you never truly know. Maybe you want to expand your horizons or something... Okay, I'll stop." God, I'm an idiot.

There was a moment of awkward silence. I felt horrible I couldn't fix this. I looked down and took his hand into my own, admiring how big and heavy it was compared to mine. I sighed annoyed that I could not do anything to fix whatever he had festering up inside of him. "Raphael..." I said breathlessly. I looked back up at him. I don't know what I'm going to do... I reached up to cup his cheek and force him to look at me. "Raph..."

I watched his hand grabbed mine, "I have to go..." I just stood there, to scared to talk but filled with words that I could say that could make this even just a bit better. "I'll see you later." And without saying anything else, he was gone.

I was left standing there with regret filling my stomach. "Shit..." I cursed to myself.

I should have kissed him...


Did you really think I would make them kiss now? Nah bro...it ain't their time yet. Maybe in the next chapter... Maybe ;) Let me know what you think. And ignore any misspellings or grammar errors please thanks. See you in the next one?