Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Prodigal's Confession
"Zuko told me... to talk to you." Iroh looks undeniably uncomfortable. Azula does not blame him. They are not exactly close, nor have they ever gotten along.
"I don't need to be analyzed. I'm fine. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes for my revenge," Azula says sharply, standing up and walking to the window. She looks out at Ba Sing Se and realizes that it is the same view she had when she decided to claim the city as hers. How naive and ambitious she was before she realized how fragile power is. "I wouldn't put my revenge ahead of more important goals, of course, like reclaiming the Fire Nation and ending the war. But I expect it. When we invade, I want to fight him. And I will choke him to death. He doesn't deserve an Agni Kai."
Iroh swallows. Her words are precise and cold but emotionally charged.
"Last I heard of you, you were looking to claim his body and mourning him. What changed?" he asks cautiously and Azula purses her lips. "If that's not too intrusive to ask."
"He stole something of mine that I find very important. Not that I had it for long but I want it back." Pause.
"It's about the throne," Iroh remarks, lament in his tone.
"Yes. And no." Azula hesitates. "He stole my life. My childhood. Imprisoned my girlfriend after I searched the world to try to avenge him. Took my child from me before I even held her. He has only taken from me and I have given him nothing."
Iroh is startled, confused.
"There are a multitude of ways he has wronged me and the only way they will be made right is his neck bones cracking under my hands," Azula continues, not acknowledging her uncle's expression.
"Your child?" Iroh asks quietly and Azula shrugs.
"It's the least of the things he did to me. I mean, I cared more about being Fire Lord than a baby I never met once. I cared more about Ty Lee than her. But... I found her being stolen to be the point of no return. Usurping me? Forgivable. I... could pretend he was doing it because I was crazy. Imprisoning and planning to execute Ty Lee? Well, I could pretend he just knew better and she was a mistake. But stealing my daughter. That... that I'm not willing to forgive," Azula explains, trying to control her breathing.
Iroh sees through it. They are alike but different in many ways. She was groomed by her father but Iroh had more in common with her than Ozai ever did.
"I understand how you feel," Iroh says. "I had the throne stolen from me... and my son."
"And your wife."
"Yes." Pause. Hesitation. Azula swallows, her mouth dry.
"It wasn't like I wanted her in the first place." It applies to two out of three of the injustices. "It just happened."
Iroh tries to think through this carefully. He sees in her potential that he did not see before. The theft of her child was akin to Zuko's scar. A mark that cannot be removed. Titles, birthrights and teenage romances can be shrugged off and postponed. Some things mark you forever.
"It's alright to care," Iroh says and Azula scoffs, crossing her arms.
"People lose children all the time. I was fortunate to barely meet her." Her voice falters slightly. A chink in the armor around Princess Azula. "I mean, I don't need a wife and daughter; I need the Fire Nation. It's all I've ever needed. I'm not like Ty Lee or Katara or something; I don't need other people to validate my existence, especially not a child who is probably dead."
But she knows that Kazumi is not dead. She knows that Kazumi is likely already being bent and distorted by Ozai and that he intends for her to be Fire Lord. Azula has sent the message that she is not coming home. He will heed it, and Kazumi will pay.
"You're stronger than most. And I'm not talking about your bending," Iroh says with a strangely refreshing earnestness.
"You've always hated me. Don't act like you care now that we have something in common." Her posture weakens. Iroh bites down on his lip.
"You are afraid," he says and Azula clenches her jaw. She is seconds away from challenging him to an Agni Kai. "There is nothing wrong with that."
"I am afraid," Azula says abruptly, startling even herself. "I'm afraid that people are going to realize that I'm only really good at one thing. I can destroy everything in my path. But beyond that... I'm mediocre. They keep telling me I'm their perfect weapon. And that's all I'll ever be. How the fuck is a weapon supposed to restore balance to the world?"
Azula moves away from the window, her fingertips lingering on the glass for a moment. The sun makes patterns on her wounded face as she sits down across from Iroh. He watches her and sees such human aspects that he knows his brother could not corrupt her as thoroughly as it seemed.
"I was born to be a weapon. The prodigal. The way my father would secure his legacy. You saw how he would show me off to Grandfather and how he took away everything from me that wouldn't produce results. He didn't want a daughter; he wanted a dynasty. There was no love or affection, only..." She shrugs. Iroh leans forward slightly, hoping for her to come to more conclusions. "He's her father, Uncle. He's the father of my daughter."
Iroh's insides turn to steel. The rage in him leaves a metallic taste in his mouth, and the compassion and empathy in him scream for him to help her. She crumbles, tears pouring from her eyes. The confession of the prodigal.
"He did that to you?" Iroh manages to ask. He doesn't want to believe it. But it is there in her eyes.
He didn't want a daughter; he wanted a dynasty.
"Yes," is Azula's response, her voice constricted with emotion. Iroh does not know what to say. He wishes he had something to say. He just feels pain. "But it will be over someday. Rulers reign; they reign and then they die. That's the natural order of things."
The repetition of the casual words Ty Lee tossed out months ago keeps Azula clinging on. Because despite the unnatural bending of fate, nature will take its course. Ozai will have to die at some point, and his reign will end. Azula's will begin and she can fulfill every promise she made to stay alive.
"My father," Azula adds with a mirthless laugh, "was never a fan of the natural order of things. We were both rightful Fire Lords and he, well, decided to take matters into his own hands. Zuko lucked out."
"What?" Iroh asks hesitantly. He is examining her like Azula was taught to examine others. He certainly hides a great military mind behind his tea-loving pacifist exterior. Maybe it's a charade.
"Zuko told me that being banished was the best thing that happened to him. I'm pretty sure he was right. He wasn't trapped. He had you, who would do anything for him. And that scar? The one he acts like screwed him over. It hurt for a fraction of how long I hurt. Yes, I got what I wanted in the end. But it wasn't enough," Azula says slowly and deliberately, punctuating her words with smoldering stares. But Iroh isn't unhinged like she wanted to make him; he sits there as calmly as if they were discussing the weather. But his eyes... they say he understands.
Azula's words are dark, a threat almost, but they show Iroh great vulnerability. He has never seen her in this light. When he looked at her he saw only Ozai, like many did. But she is not her father, not in the slightest.
"Revenge is never a straight line," Iroh says and Azula does not know if she should be angry of him dismissing her discontent or grateful that he does not acknowledge the rape. "It is a forest. And like a forest, it is easy to get lost, to forget where you came in."
"So you disapprove?" Azula demands, frustrated already. She has no use for his riddles and wisdom; she needs only his armies.
"If it is what must be done, it must be done. But your quest for revenge may be more complicated than you imagine it to be."
"I am so sick of your wisdom already. It has been two days, and I already am tired of it," Azula snaps, her vulnerability disappearing before Iroh's eyes. "I deserve this revenge. It's all I have."
Iroh pauses, examining her. He knows, part of him, that she does deserve vengeance.
"You can sleep here. An Invasion will take time. I suggest you spend it practicing," Iroh says and her eyes light up with a look he has not seen since she was a toddler.
"Thank you, Uncle," she says with an earnestness that surprises him.
He bows his head to her and leaves. And the moment he is out of her sight and alone, he punches a fist of fire into the air. Rage, he can control. But this level of anger and disgust, he has never felt before. What he heard from Zuko is disturbing, but what he hears from Azula sickens him to the core.
And now he has another child to rescue from the blaze. His niece. A niece, another one. And there is no way he is leaving her to be subjected to the horrors Azula and Zuko have faced.
The Invasion, he finds questionable. But he knows that somehow and somehow soon, his brother must be stopped.
As Azula breaks down and Iroh tries to fathom the extent of what Ozai has done to his family, Ty Lee knocks on the door to Zuko and Sokka's current base of operations. They are planning a battle for a nearby stronghold with an impressive eagerness. Ty Lee does not understand why they are not planning the invasion that everyone promised. Iroh has made passing comments about history remembering it as traitors overthrowing the Fire Nation, but Ty Lee knows it must be done. It is the only way for justice to be served in a timely fashion. And they all deserve it. They deserve revenge, and Ty Lee is not a big supporter of revenge.
"I need to talk to you," Ty Lee says, walking to the table and leaning against it. Sokka quickly averts his eyes at the sight of her cleavage displayed to the world as she leans.
"What is it?" Zuko asks, setting down the pieces on the table and looking concerned.
"I don't think Azula is going to be able to defeat Fire Lord Ozai," Ty Lee says and Zuko swallows.
"Why?" he asks, looking very nervous.
"She can't fight him. She thinks he's so much stronger than her. That he controls her. Whenever she has a chance to take him she just shuts down," Ty Lee says with a sigh. Sokka groans loudly, tossing his arms up in frustration.
"This is almost exactly the problem we had last time. That's how Aang died!" Sokka shouts and Ty Lee frowns. "You came here and convinced us that Azula was the perfect match and then..."
Zuko clears his throat and Sokka shuts his mouth. Ty Lee wraps her arms around herself, brow knit together in concern.
"My sister can overcome this. He spent years distorting her. When we came back from Ba Sing Se, she was pretty different than I left her," Zuko says, leaning on the table. "I mean, she was always selfish and awful and a liar and a cheat. But she was my sister, not my worst enemy."
"Does he still have the Dai Li?" Sokka asks, his stomach twisting. This is going downhill quickly.
"No, Azula banished them all," Ty Lee replies, waving her hand dismissively.
"She's not brainwashed," Zuko says with an exasperated sigh. "She's just been warped into thinking he has absolute power over her. That can change. I mean, she's the cockiest person I've ever met."
"Changing Azula is a little difficult." Ty Lee crosses her arms. "I've been trying for like a year now."
"You're doing better than anyone else ever has," Zuko says earnestly and Ty Lee purses her lips.
She looks wounded. Whatever has happened in the months Zuko was imprisoned is obviously eating away at her. He makes mental note to try to get her alone and figure it out; he will have better luck than with Azula.
Zuko tracks down Ty Lee after his meeting with Sokka and stands beside her in the hallway. She picks at her lips and does not know what she is supposed to say or do.
"I think she can kill him. She hit him with lightning," Zuko says, hoping for more of an answer from Ty Lee. But Ty Lee just slowly shakes her head.
"I just want for us to stay here. Where we're safe. I... I'll follow her wherever she wants to go. But you realize that we... there's a pretty high chance that if we invade the Fire Nation we're not all going to make it out alive..." Ty Lee says, squirming uncomfortably. She feels like a traitor to her friends, wanting to stay in Ba Sing Se where they are safe.
"He's going to follow us. We're not safe until he's dead," Zuko replies hesitantly and Ty Lee knows he is right. The only way to escape Fire Lord Ozai is to destroy him. But Ty Lee does not know if Azula can do it on her own like she thinks she can.
"I know. And we can't just leave Kazumi," Ty Lee says, furrowing her brow. Zuko has never seen so much hurt in her eyes, even when he saw her being removed from the chamber in which she was tortured in. "They ripped me away from Azula when Kazumi was born."
"I know," Zuko offers, wondering why Ty Lee says that in particular.
"I've lost her a lot of times." Silence. "But she wants this. She wants to kill him, and, Agni, Zuko she deserves her revenge and he deserves to die. What do you want us to do, Zuko? Do you really think we can just gather up some soldiers and dive right into the Fire Nation? I mean, the Earth Kingdom has been fighting the Fire Nation for over a hundred years and nobody has succeeded at that before."
"She's Azula?" Zuko offers. "What happened to your optimism?"
"There is a point where we have to be realistic." Ty Lee looks very earnest, and far from bright. It perturbs Zuko and he now worries that she knows more about Azula's current state of mind than he does.
"This is really bad coming from you," Zuko sighs, rubbing his temples. Ty Lee purses her lips and exhales softly. "There's no choice, Ty Lee."
"Yes there is. He can't get us here. We can wait until Korra is old enough and strike then."
"And your daughter?" Zuko asks, stunned.
"War needs sacrifices sometimes," Ty Lee says and Zuko genuinely does not know what to say. "I will love Kazumi when she is my daughter. But if we invade now, Zuko, she'll be an orphan, or... he won't kill Azula, will he? That scares me more than him killing her."
"My uncle is the greatest military strategist in Fire Nation history, and Azula is close to his equal. They'll work this out."
Ty Lee looks at the floor for a moment before saying, "I hope so," and leaving Zuko to his meeting with Sokka.
That night, Azula lies down beside Ty Lee. It is dark and dim, and both of them are basked in green light. Azula gazes at the window and cannot help but remember the girl she used to be. The girl she was before everything came crashing down.
Maybe she was hiding a lot behind her charm and wit and power. Maybe she had been cracking for a long time, and the defeats just beat her down until she bled out and gave up. And what her father did to her has only sealed her fate.
And the girl she was thought she could just take Ba Sing Se because she wanted it. But Azula does not get all she wants anymore. It does not work that way. Life does not work that way and Azula should have known that eventually her luck would run dry.
"You seem really distant," Ty Lee says softly, rubbing her thumb around Azula's wrist. Azula chews on her lip and debates the benefits of honesty.
"This is the room we were in when I decided on the coup," Azula breathes. Years ago. Years ago.
"Oh, hey, it is," Ty Lee says with a small smile. If Azula could only be like her, she would never have a worry in her life ever again.
Azula turns on her side, away from the window that looks out at a smoke stained sky. She examines Ty Lee, who is lying face down on the pillows, the emerald blankets around her waist and her back exposed to the night.
The scars from her imprisonment at the Boiling Rock are the most evident. Marks from lashes. One of the first things Azula noticed about Ty Lee when she picked her up from prison. Azula touches her fingers to the moon white scars that shine on her peachy skin.
Above those deep scars from three years ago, are the ones from being tortured. Poorly cauterized wounds that leave marks. And they will never come off; they will always remind Azula of her mistakes and her crimes. How people get hurt from her decisions and she still does not know how to avoid that happening.
Azula's fingernails run around the marks from cuts and burns and she cannot consider them blemishes. She kisses Ty Lee's shoulder blade. The acrobat makes no sound, but she closes her eyes and Azula slips away afterwards, unable to handle what her father has done to her.
What Azula has done to her.
"Azula," Ty Lee whispers, taking a deep breath and hoping this will not go wrong. "I think we should... think twice about immediately invading."
"We have to. That's why we came here." Azula sits straight up, the blankets falling around her waist. Her aghast expression looks more severe from the greenish shadows.
"I'm concerned. And I think that your uncle and everybody feel the same way. Even when the Earth Kingdom had a full army, nobody ever succeeded at invading the Fire Nation. I mean, you... you're beyond powerful. But you're one person." Ty Lee blinks for a moment and looks pained. Azula breathes in slowly and tries to let her speak.
"We'll get the Fire Nation soldiers loyal to me to invade with us. And..." Azula trails off. "Something like that. I can take him. I'm the only one who can take him."
"Korra could." Silence.
"Korra is three," Azula snarls.
"She won't be three forever." Silence.
"What about our daughter?" Azula demands, her heart pounding out of control.
"She won't get hurt. She's his only heir," Ty Lee whispers, cringing without Azula doing anything. "It isn't as if we even know her."
"You promised you would do it with me even though she wasn't yours." Azula stands up and Ty Lee reaches out for a flicker of a second.
"She won't be ours if we both die trying to prematurely invade the fucking Fire Nation!" Ty Lee snaps as Azula starts to walk away.
"I won't let her be his either." Azula slams the door on her way out to go sleep in with Zuko.
Ty Lee curls up into a ball and her body hiccups with tears in the shadowy night.
The day after the severe conversations, Iroh agrees to host a meeting about the invasion the alliance came demanding. There have apparently been discussions amongst the leaders in Ba Sing Se that the outsiders knew nothing about, but now they hear the verdict.
Ty Lee sits beside Azula regardless of their fight. Azula averts her eyes and Ty Lee grabs her hand.
"I may not always agree with you, but I promised I would never leave you. I would follow you to the ends of the Earth." Silence. Azula does not respond. "Wherever you go, I go."
Azula smiles faintly.
"I don't know how I feel about Azula going against Ozai," is the first thing Iroh says in the first invasion meeting.
Azula bites her lip and says nothing. It startles Zuko, who would have expected her to jump at him for daring to suggest it.
"What? Will we send a toddler against him?" Katara. Zuko is twice as startled. "I think that it's justice. Not to mention, she's probably the only one here who can beat him. And we'll help her. I think I could use some justice too. I'll fight him with her."
Azula is twice as surprised as her brother. She never expected Katara to volunteer to do that.
"I will too," Zuko says and Iroh's eyes flicker. Ty Lee smiles faintly to herself. "We're not just sending her in there alone to fight him. But it's the way it should be and we all know it."
"No," Suki protests and Katara swallows her words. "You're all just playing into her revenge fantasy because you want her on our side."
"I agree with Suki," Sokka says forcefully.
"How surprising," Ty Lee snarls. Azula swallows and Zuko anxiously wonders when she is going to enter this discussion. But she just seems to be watching.
Ignoring Ty Lee, Sokka continues, "It's all risky. It's ridiculous for us to plan an invasion of the Fire Nation, so Azula can get revenge on the Fire Lord. We have to wait for the right time to strike."
"Or when the Avatar is ready," Iroh adds.
Mai stands up, tossing her chair to the floor as she does so. The room simultaneously flinches.
"You have no idea!" she shouts and everyone is stunned. "You have no idea what this man has done! You have no idea what any of us went through! While you were all sitting here having tea and training soldiers, we were being tortured and extorted and raped and lined up for execution, all because of Ozai! You have never been through anything like we have, and I think that Katara's right! It isn't revenge; it's justice!"
Silence. The silence in the room is deafening. Mai's outburst was something no one predicted.
"You know what happens if we wait fourteen years," Katara interjects as Mai is catching her breath. "We lose. Not to mention it's not just an invasion. It's a rescue mission."
"For who?" Sokka snorts, frustrated with his sister for throwing away all of their aims for her new Fire Nation friends.
"For Azula's daughter. Who, if we wait fourteen years, is going to grow up. And, I think we've seen what fourteen year old Azula could do," Katara replies viciously.
More shock, more silence. This invasion meeting is going to give someone a heart attack.
Iroh swallows and Sokka watches him sway. Sokka grits his teeth, displeased with this.
"Toph, Azula, Ty Lee, you haven't said anything," Iroh says and Suki watches it all slip through her fingers. Fire Nation sides with Fire Nation. Of course.
"I'm fine with whatever way we wind up killing him," Toph says calmly with a shrug, not unnerved at all by this discussion. "It's pretty overdue, in my opinion."
"If we don't invade," Ty Lee says shrilly, "I am going to walk myself to the Fire Nation and do it myself. But, I'd really appreciate some support."
Azula is still silent. Zuko looks to her, his eyes urging her to do something.
"The only way I cooperate is if I am the one to kill my father. And I'm not waiting a second longer than I have to," Azula says smoothly, her face calm but her eyes molten in rage. "I knew you wouldn't want to help us. If the case is that you're so blinded by the past that you can't work towards the future of a balanced world, Ty Lee and I will leave tomorrow to go kill my father and rescue our daughter."
Ty Lee gulps, blinking twice. She did not sign up for this, but she seizes Azula's hand.
Mai sighs, seeming to have calmed down from her outburst that still has Zuko staring at her in confusion. "Well, they're going to get killed if they go alone. So I suppose I'll have to go with them."
"Good riddance," Suki says and Toph snorts. Katara's gut twists as she realizes she has to choose, and she is not going to be fully pleased with either option.
"Well, I hope good riddance applies to me too, because I'm not sending Mai into the Fire Nation with these flighty bitches. She needs some support," Katara declares, her body heated with passion. Zuko swallows.
"Zuko?" Mai cocks an eyebrow as Toph looks ecstatic, Sokka enraged and Suki with her eyes narrowed.
"We just got here, guys." Yet, Zuko realizes it is he who matters most. Only his decision will sway his uncle, and therefore sway everyone else. "I'm going with them too."
Iroh looks conflicted, an expression Zuko and Azula have not seen before.
"You will all die," Iroh says slowly and Azula shrugs.
"Well, I'll draft up my requests for my funeral and have it to you by morning. I dislike heliotrope and please, offer some kind of prize so that people will come," Azula says, suppressing a smirk. She knows they have won.
"It will not be as immediate as you want it to be. We need to prepare, you all need to prepare, and we need a better plan than last time," Iroh says and Suki frowns. Toph smiles; this was the most thrilling fight she has heard in ages.
"Why don't we try not telling Azula about it? That should work," Sokka grumbles, but no one is listening.
And so, the invasion is set into motion.
