"You really need to stop chewing your fingernails," Mark told Jeff. "Eating your own nail polish chips is not a healthy thing to do. It's been proven to cause severe brain damage."
"It has not," Jeff said stubbornly. "You're just saying that."
"I am not. James tell him I'm not saying that."
James smirked. "He's just saying that Jeffey. You know how dear old Marky likes to worry."
Mark gave James an irritated glare. "You are the least helpful man ever."
"I know," James said proudly.
Jeff sighed and continued to bite his nails. He knew that he shouldn't do it but he couldn't help himself. He was so nervous that he thought he was going to throw up at any moment. His dad was insisting on meeting James and Jeff was terrified about how this meeting was going to go. There was so many ways that this could wrong that it wasn't even funny. He wished that they didn't have to do this but he knew there was no escaping it. This was happening whether he liked it or not.
"So do you think the others are going to find out?" James asked. "About me being a killer?"
Mark shrugged. "Maybe. I'm not going to tell them but seeing as how they're all nosy sons of bitches, they might eventually find out."
James laughed. He didn't seem bothered at all by this situation. Either he didn't realize the Legend did not play around after being told that about a dozen times or he just didn't care. Even Mark was nervous and he had become friend's with Gil over the years.
Mark pulled up in front of Gil's house and turned off the ignition. "Well…I guess we're here then," he said. He seemed to be in no hurry to get out of the car so they could go face the music.
Jeff leaned forward so he could get a good look at his dad. Gil was sitting there on the porch, casually drinking a beer and holding a shotgun in his hand. Matt and Adam were with him, drinking beers and watching the car carefully. "Oh boy," he muttered. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy."
James tilted his head to the side. "Huh. I wonder if Matt put him up to that gun thing." He didn't wait for Mark and Jeff to respond to that comment. He just got out of the car and began walking towards the house. Mark and Jeff exchanged quick look before quickly following their lover. Adam and Matt both stood up as they approached, Adam giving them a little wave and Matt just staring holes into James. James didn't even acknowledge Matt though. He just climbed up on to the porch and looked at Gil with great interest. "Am I supposed to kiss your ring or something?"
Mark rolled his eyes. "You're not in The Godfather James. You don't need to kiss his ring."
"I'm not even wearing a ring, so you couldn't kiss it even if we were," Gil said. He was looking up at James, taking in the killer's presence very carefully. He had on his best poker face, so it was impossible to tell what he was thinking or feeling. "Would I be right in assuming that you're James?"
James nodded. "Yup." He was keeping himself pretty guarded too and Jeff felt like he was watching a Mexican standoff. Gil seemingly wasn't intimidated by James's presence and James didn't appear bothered by gun Gil was holding. He looked at Mark, who looked ready to jump if James made one wrong move and then he looked at Adam, who looked beyond uncomfortable. Oh boy, this is going to be fun.
Gil and James both stared at each other for a little bit longer before the Legend finally looked over at Jeff. "Hey son," he said, his voice getting much warmer than it had been when he had addressed James.
"Hey Daddy," Jeff said. He refused to really look at Matt face to face. Even though he knew that Matt was just trying to look out for him, he really wished that his brother had just minded his own business. He had wanted to introduce James to Gil on his own terms, not have a meeting forced so the Legend could interrogate James.
Gil stood up. "Why don't you come in the house with me Jeffrey? There's some things you and I have to discuss."
Jeff reluctantly nodded. "Okay."
"Well jeez Jeff, stop looking like you just got told you were being sent to the gallows," James said with a shake of his head. "It's not like your dad's going to shoot you or anything. He's saving those bullets for me."
"You're not wrong about that," Matt muttered.
Jeff glared at his older brother. "You shut up," he ordered.
Matt tried to look innocent. "Jeff I--"
"Honey, please shut your mouth," Adam said quickly. He started pulling Matt away from Jeff. "Now is obviously not the time to be talking."
Gil looked back and forth between his boys before shaking his head. "Come on Jeff. Matt and Adam will keep James and Mark company until I'm ready to talk to them."
Jeff sighed and followed Gil into the house. For a moment it seemed like they were going to end up in the kitchen, but then they changed direction at the last second and ended up in the living room. Jeff waited until his dad sat down in his chair before sitting down on the couch. "Look, I don't know what Matt told you but--"
"Let's not worry about what Matt told me," Gil said with a wave of his hands. "I want to hear your side to all this. He leaned back in his chair. "When exactly did you meet James?"
"It was when Dave had me," Jeff answered. "Dave actually broke into his house and was keeping me there because he thought that the owners weren't home. Mark called him and told him what was going on and he came in and knocked out Dave before he could hurt me anymore." He barely noticed that he was compulsively wringing his hands together. He hated having to talk about Dave. He absolutely hated it. The sooner this part of the conversation was over, the better he would feel.
"Mark's known him since they were kids, right?" Gil asked.
Jeff nodded while wondering how much Matt had told their dad. "A couple weeks after the whole Dave thing, James started traveling with Mark."
"And how long was it until you got with them?"
"Not too long after I guess."
Gil took that information in. "Did you know about the whole murdering thing before you started dating them?"
Jeff shook his head. "I found out soon after though."
"And you're okay with it?"
This was the question that Jeff couldn't answer right away. When he had first found out the truth about the whole killing people thing, he had refused to really think about the whole thing. He had been so desperate to feel like himself again, and Mark and James had been able to make him feel that way when nobody else had. Add in the facts that he had loved Mark for years before this and he had quickly fallen in love James once he had started spending time with him and it made it that much easier for him to overlook the murder thing for quite awhile. Hell, he had had even excused the behavior, even though he knew that deep down, the excuses he had used were full of shit. But after seeing James come home with blood all over his shirt, it had thrown things in a new perspective for him. Innocent people were dying because of one of his lovers and he didn't like that. He wanted James to stop doing it. But at the same time, he still balked at the idea of James going to jail because he didn't want to lose him. James was a fucked up psychopath, but damn it, he was Jeff and Mark's fucked up psychopath and Jeff wanted him to stay with them.
"I don't like it," Jeff finally said slowly. "I thought I was okay with it but…I realized that I don't like it. But I don't want him to go to jail. That might be wrong for me to say but I don't care. I love him and Mark and you and Matt can think I'm stupid and blind all you want--"
Gil put up his hands. "Jeff please, I've never thought you were stupid and I sure don't think you are now. Now do I think you're being somewhat blind about this? Yes, but I also understand that love can do this sometimes." He leaned forward towards Jeff. "Do they treat you right?"
"Yes," Jeff said without hesitation.
"Has James ever murdered anyone in front of you?"
"No. He wouldn't do that. That…it's part of who he is but it's not the part that he lets out in front of me."
Gil sighed. "Alright."
Jeff raised his eyebrows. "That's it?"
"Well…this is it for our conversation. What I want to do now is talk to James himself. And don't give me that look. You knew that this was going to happen when you came here."
"I know," Jeff said with a sigh. "I just don't like it. I feel like a teenaged girl who's boyfriend might get shot in the head by her overprotective father."
Gil chuckled. "Oh quit being overdramatic Jeffina."
"Dad!"
"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Now be a good boy and fetch your murderer. He and I have things to discuss."
Jeff sighed. "Yes sir," he said under his breath. He got up and started heading back to the porch so he could go get James. All he could do now was hope that this would somehow go well. He didn't want to think about what could possibly happen if it didn't.
…
James hadn't been in Cameron too long but he already didn't like it. He was a city boy at heart and being stuck out here in the country with none of the usual city noises and smells was getting to him. "How can you people stand this?" he finally asked. "Jesus Christ, this place is driving me nuts."
Matt raised his eyebrows. "You got a problem with our home Lawson?"
"Fuck yeah I do," James confirmed. "There's too much…" he paused as he searched for the right word to use. "….space. Yeah, there's too much of that bullshit."
"Are you sure that you're not just upset about the fact there's not an abundance of innocent victims out here?"
Mark glared at Matt. "Watch it Hardy."
James smirked as Matt shut his mouth. "You got snapped at," he said gleefully.
Now Mark glared at James. "You need to watch it too. If it wasn't for your current extracurricular activities, we wouldn't be in this situation."
James pouted. He didn't really think that was fair. He believed that everyone overreacting to this whole situation was where the majority of the problem was coming from. If everyone would just relax and take a chill pill, they would all be much better off.
The front door opened and out walked Jeff. "Hey," Mark said. "How did it go?"
Jeff just shrugged. "That's yet to be determined." He looked at James. "Dad wants to talk to you."
James sighed. Here we go. He got up to his feet and cracked his neck. He felt like he should be nervous about this, but he couldn't quite manage it. "Where is he?"
"In the living room," Jeff answered. He grabbed James's hand. "Come on. Just make sure to be respectful."
"I make no guarantees," James muttered as he let Jeff lead him into the house. Sure he had every intention of attempting to show respect, but he had never been in a situation quite like this before. Give him parents that hated him and wanted him dead and he would have known exactly what to do. But having to deal with a guy that was genuinely looking out for his own child and who wasn't a psychotic mass murderer made him feel completely out of his element.
When he and Jeff got to the living room, they found Gil absently leafing through the newspaper. When he noticed that they were in the room, he set the paper aside. "Thank you," he said Jeff. "Now can you--"
"I'm going I'm going," he said. He gave James a kiss before leaving the room. James tried to make it look that he was just watching him walk away instead of watching Jeff's ass, but apparently he didn't do a good job of it because when he looked over at Gil, the old man shook his head. "I saw that," the Legend said.
"Whoops," James said as he nonchalantly plopped down on the couch. "My bad."
Gil just shook his head. "Didn't anyone tell you it was rude to check out a man's son right in front of him?"
"No," James replied. "Besides, I think you should take it as a compliment. I mean, you helped produce him after all."
"Yeah well, I'll take that under consideration." Gil adjusted himself in his seat, refusing to take his eyes off of James for a second. "Now Mr. Lawson--"
"Call me James. Being called Mr. Lawson makes me feel weird."
"Fine. James, how old were you exactly when you started killing people?"
Should I lie about this? I mean, the truth sounds kind of bad…but then again, honesty is supposed to be the best policy. And this old dude looks like the type to appreciate honesty. "Eight," he answered. "I was eight."
Gil looked thrown for a loop by that answer. "Eight? You started pretty young."
James just shrugged. Honestly he was surprised that he hadn't killed someone sooner than that, but he wisely chose not to say that. That was just not going to help his case at all at the moment.
"Did you have the urge to kill before then or was it something that you stumbled into and found that you liked?"
"I had the urge before then but my first kills weren't one hundred percent planned. The first I guy I killed was a homeless dude who came out of nowhere and started grabbing my sister Annabelle. I think he was drunk and had no idea what he was doing but in the heat of the moment I grabbed a rock and bashed his head in. Then there was Grandpa, who did have it coming. He threatened Annabelle for sticking up to him for Grandma's sake and he was a nasty piece of work. He was big on raping his victims before he killed them, which is always a line I refuse to cross with any of my victims."
Gil raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, but hearing a murderer talk about what lines he won't cross is kind of weird to me." He cast a quick look at his shotgun before looking back at James. "Did your parents know about what you killing people?"
"They did," James admitted. "Caroline figured it out after I wasted Grandpa and mercy killed Grandma. It took Joseph longer to catch on but he did get it eventually. He got it as soon as I gutted him like a fish…but that's a different story. "They didn't really give a shit about it though. Joseph was too busy following in Grandpa's footsteps and Caroline…well Caroline's not a subject that I want to get into."
Gil studied him carefully. "You can't talk about your own mother?"
James scowled. "Look, Gilbert, I understand the point of interrogating me. You're looking out for Jeff and I understand how that feels being a father myself. Plus, Jeff loves you to death so I agreed to this little meeting for his sake. But I swear to God, if you do not drop the Caroline subject right now, then we will have a very big problem."
Gil mulled that over for a second before speaking again. "You're here today for him?"
"Yes. Only for him. Believe me, I hate being interrogated."
"I can tell. So why did you choose to do this for him?"
James rolled his eyes. He thought this was a stupid question but he gave an answer because he thought Gil needed to hear it. "Because I love him."
"As much as you love Mark?"
"Yes."
Gil folded his arms over his chest. "How do I know that you won't ever harm Jeff?"
James frowned. He felt really insulted by that question. "Because I wouldn't," he replied.
"That doesn't really reassure me."
James sighed. "Look, I'll be honest with you Gil. I've killed random people for just looking at me wrong. I'm a hot head like that. But when it comes to the few people I give a damn about, then it's a whole different story."
"Is it now?"
"Yeah. Fuck, if you even knew about the shit I put up with from Mark…" His voice trailed off as he shook his head. He didn't want to go into detail about his and Mark's personal problems unless he absolutely had to.
Gil sighed. "Are you aware that your murderous activities bother Jeff?"
"It's been brought to my attention," James said, thinking back to his and Jeff's conversation at Mark's house.
"And what do you plan to do about it?"
James shrugged. He still hadn't figured that out. He was still kind of hoping that he wouldn't have to do anything.
Gil shook his head. "That's not a good enough answer. I'm going to tell you something about Jeff: when he loves someone, he's willing to sacrifice almost everything he is and has for that person. It's only fair that the person who says he loves him too to do the same thing. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
James sighed. He knew exactly what Gil was getting at. Gil wanted him to give up killing for Jeff's sake. It keeps coming back to that fucking choice… "I've tried it before," he confessed. "It didn't really work out too well."
"How long ago was that?"
"I was nineteen."
Gil shook his head. "A lot has probably changed since then. Maybe it's time to give it another chance…that is, if you care about Jeff as much as you say you do." He got up to his feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to Mark."
James watched him go, his teeth grinding together so hard that it really started to hurt. Did he just attempt to guilt trip me or something? He growled. He didn't really like that tactic. It had always annoyed him when Annabelle had tried to use it and it annoyed him now.
He got back up to his feet and kicked the coffee table over before leaving the room. Instead of going out the front door, he decided to go out the back. He couldn't be bothered by anyone else right now. He had some serious thinking to do.
