It's been a while and I'm sorry! But here's the next chapter after Max's situation and everything.

CLARY'S POV

Watching Jace fall apart that day was the hardest thing I've ever witnessed. He managed to keep it together in front of the people, but I could feel how distressed he was. His hand was using bruising pressure to hold onto mine. His jaw was tight and he didn't speak to anyone, letting me answer all questions. I was afraid that if he talked, he'd let it all out and I knew he didn't want that to be public knowledge.

One of the harder parts were when I had to stand up and speak on Jace's behalf.

I took a deep breath and looked out over the crowd, over Simon and Isabelle, Alec and Magnus, Maryse and Robert, my mother and Luke who had flown back. SO many people showed up for Max, and I didn't want to let anyone down.

Jace, finally, looked up at me and his eyes that had been so full of sadness had a different kind of light in them when they met mine.

With that in mind, I felt like I could do this.

"Some of you don't know me, but my name is Clary Morgenstern. I worked at my father's ranch until recently moving to the Lightwood's, but despite that fact, I've known Max for a long time. He used to sneak across the fences separating our ranches and find me because he knew I could give him horse rides, because I could never say no to his puppy dog eyes.

"He was a kid that always had a smile on his face and looked at the bright side of everything. When he was passionate about something, it was extreme. It wasn't a phase, and horses were one of his passions. He'd sit and watch my training sessions, pointing things out to Jace that he would miss. That kid was so in tune to horses that I couldn't even fathom.

"And it's because of him that I am in this position today. Not here, as in here, but here as in with this family and job. Max, a few months ago, took off one night in the middle of a storm. He wanted to ride, and he dreamed of riding, but when they told him no the little suborn boy took Ithuriel and jumped the fences. Jace," I looked over at him and he looked up at me, a very small (barely noticeable) smile pulling at his lips and he nodded, "came to my ranch that day to talk to me about being a jockey, and I shot him down. If Max hadn't ran away and needed us both to look for him, who knows how it would've ended up? He's the reason that my life is as great as it is right now, and I'd never be able to thank him enough."

I glanced down at the closed casket, wiping a tear from my face and taking a deep breath. "Max was everything to a lot of people, and he won't be forgotten."

The rest of the funeral, Jace didn't let go of my hand once. He kept me close at all times, and I had to reach up and wipe a small tear form his cheek when Simon was speaking so nobody would see him cry. I knew he didn't want that.

That's what made this so hard. Watching him struggle was one thing, but watching this was something completely different. He needed to let it out, and he had that morning, but now he was holding it in. It could be eating him up inside.

Afterwards, we were heading towards the grave site. Jace, Isabelle, and Alec hadn't said a word or let go of their significant others.

The limo that Maryse got us – claiming that we would be incapable of driving ourselves and none of us argued – had enough room for only six people. We all piled in and stayed quiet as we drove through town.

And finally, after what seemed like a decade, Jace leaned down and whispered an, "I love you," to me. That was it. That was all that was said and I repeated it before holding him close, the quiet settling over everyone again.


JACE'S POV

I wasn't sure how much more I could take. Watching the preacher talk along with everyone at the church was bad, but it wasn't unbearable. Watching them bring my little brother outside in a casket to be put in the ground…

That was unbearable.

I felt my throat close up and my eyes shut as I looked away. I couldn't watch this. We had so many people here, surrounding the site in a circle as they lifted the casket up on the contraption. I wanted to watch, to pay my many, many respects to the best kid I knew, but every time I tried I realized that I couldn't.

When the preacher stopped his final speech, and they started to lower Max into the ground, I couldn't do it.

I broke from Clary's grip and moved through the crowds, and as soon as I was free, I ran. No destination. I just ran.

"Jace!"

I heard her voice, but I didn't turn and I didn't stop.

Minutes passed as I finally lost my breath and collapsed in unfamiliar surroundings. The smell of flowers and nature filled my senses, but it didn't relax me at all. If anything, I thought of Max and how he loved this kind of thing and it made me feel worse until the breakdown started up again.

Time was irrelevant as I sat against a tree and tried to pull myself together. Then, to my surprise, it wasn't Clary that found me.

A hand fell on my shoulder and I looked up, wiping the remaining tears in the process to find…

"Simon?"

"Hey." He squatted in front of me, giving me a worried expression.

My relationship with Isabelle's boyfriend has never been the kind that we were actually comfortable and serious one on one. Normally, would just bicker and fight and say stupid shit until one of us stormed out, normally him. But this time, it was different.

I gave him a look as an epiphany hit me. "Why aren't you with Isabelle?"

"Clary is taking care of her. Your girlfriend was worried that she couldn't help you more than she already has and that she needed to send someone else."

I frowned. "But, you?" I wanted Clary, now that I knew she wasn't coming. All I wanted was Clary.

Simon nodded and sat down completely, pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "We all know that no one is handling this situation gracefully, and I wanted to help you."

"Why?"

He chuckled once, not out of amusement. I think it was out of the situation. "Because Clary loves you and I would do anything to help her, including helping you."

"I don't think you'll be much help."

"I want to try."

My head leaned back against the tree behind me and I closed my eyes. "Okay. Why not?"

It was quiet for a moment, and I'm sure it was because Simon didn't expect me to agree to this. I was kind of shocked myself, if I'm being honest.

Then, he finally spoke. "Jace, knowing you, talking and being emotional about this isn't going to help. What will help, is working your ass off. I know you've been in the gym with Alec, but that's working yourself to death." He paused as his terrible use of words at the moment, but he continued nonetheless. "What I mean is, we need you to be focused on the Breeder's."

"But–"

He held his hand up, cutting me off. "Not because of Maryse or to keep your mind off of things. Do it because you want to do it for Max. Do it because he wanted to watch you and Clary win the Breeder's together more than anything. Focus because it's what he wanted you to do in that letter. Max never wanted you to be like this. It's the last thing he wanted."

"He probably didn't want to lose the fight against cancer either, but we know how that worked out."

Simon nodded. "But Jace, everyone is hurting right now. It's not just you guys. Me, Magnus and Clary are going as crazy as you all are, because we miss Max too but we are also completely terrified and worried for you guys."

I nodded at his words. Everything he said made sense, even if I didn't want to admit it. I wasn't the only one who lost something, and I've spent so much time thinking about myself.

For the past few days, I never once asked Clary if she was okay. I never asked if she needed help or to be comfortable. I never tried. And Simon made me realize just how… selfish I've been.

That next epiphany made me groan in anger at myself. "I've been an asshole, haven't I?"

"No one blames you," he quickly said. "I mean, Isabelle slapped the shit out of me when I tried to help, but I didn't hold it against her. You guys are hurting and we get that. But we're hurting too. Our love for you and your siblings are just overshadowing our own need to be helped in this situation."

Even though he was talking, I was barely listening and just thinking about how big of a jerk I was. I didn't realize it, but now I do.

"I ran off," I sighed. "I made her do the speech. I ran off when they buried Max. I haven't held her or kissed her or anything." My hands ran through my hair in frustration.

Simon stood and held his hand out. "Come on."

I took it as he helped me to my feet, one hand on my shoulder to steady me. Since when was this kid the strong, emotionally stable one between us?

He squeezed it lightly (probably trying to be strong and failing) before dropping his hand from me. "Jace, I know you and I have never been close but I want you to know that I'm here if you need me."

With this, I finally managed a small smile. "Are you starting to warm up to me, Lewis?"

"Not quite," he chuckled. "But anything that makes Clary happy, makes me happy. And you," he gave me a pat on the shoulder before motioning for us to walk. "You make her happy."


JACE'S POV

I sat on the bed, my suit and tie still tight on my body as I watched Clary. We had just gotten back, exhausted and tired from the emotional drain, and all I could think about was the talk with Simon.

He said so many things. So many that got to me, and I wondered about his last few words. He said I make her happy, but as she walked around like she was exhausted and fixed up the room, I knew that at that moment, she wasn't.

So I stood and walked over to her. She was at the dresser, looking through my t-shirt drawer when I wrapped my arms around her from behind, pulling her into me.

"Clary," I said softly. "I'm so, so sorry."

I looked in the mirror and met her gaze in the reflection. Her green eyes were confused but warm.

"You've done so much for me in the past few days without asking for anything in return. I'm sorry that I put you through that, that I wasn't man enough to take care of you, that I basically forced you to take the bigger role. It was wrong and I get that now and I'm just–"

She shook her head, her hands coming up and wrapping around my forearms around her shoulders and chest. "Jace, i would've done anything to help you in this situation. I'm okay."

"It still wasn't right."

"And what happened wasn't easy. I get it." She gave me a small smile. "I know what it's like to lose a brother. I know how hard it is, so trust me. I get it. I understand. And I don't blame you one bit for how you've acted."

Still, even with that, I felt terrible. "But I treated you like you weren't even here. I was like a ghost."

"I wasn't exactly a ball of sunshine when Jonathan or my dad passed."

I sighed, dropping my chin to her shoulder. "I'm still sorry. So sorry."

She turned and gave me a small kiss on the cheek before reaching for my tie and started to pull the knot loose. "You don't have to apologize."

"Can I thank you?"

With a shrug, she said, "It wouldn't hurt."

That, surprisingly, broke a smile across my lips. "Thank you. For everything. For feeding me. For helping me through this. For the speech at the… at the funeral. For taking over training on your own. You didn't sign up for any of that and I left you in the dust to handle it."

She pulled the tie loose and started on the buttons of my shirt. "Simon, Magnus, and I all knew what we signed up for when we started dating the Lightwood siblings. You can't scare us away, and we're all here to stay at this point. And you, especially, you can't get rid of me even if you wanted to."

"I wouldn't never want to. I love you," I blurted out as she unbuttoned the last button. I pulled my hands to her face and forced her to look at me. "So much, Clary."

"Saying that while I'm undressing you is a bit melodramatic, don't you think?"

"The meaning is still there completely, and it doesn't make it any less true. I love you. End of story."

She leaned up and kissed me, and it was our first kiss in so many days that I had almost forgotten what she tasted like. But she didn't let it last. This was a 'I forgive you' kind of kiss.

When she pulled back, she gave me a small smile. "I love you too."

My hands went to her dress, slowly playing with the looser pieces of black fabric. "Any chance you need help changing?" I pulled the fabric up a little, running my hands along her hips. "Or maybe just getting out of this dress?"

"There you are," she teased, tapping my nose with her finger and smiling. "I was wondering when my handsy boyfriend would return."

Boyfriend. That word still blew my mind sometimes. "I'm back, for good. I promise. I won't leave this time. Mentally, I'm here to stay."

"Good." She reached up, her hands pushing my shirt off of my chest before she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.


CLARY'S POV

When we awoke the next day, it was so much more normal. Jace was clinging to me how he normally did, wrapping his body around mine. And I felt protected again, like he was strong enough to keep me safe. It was back to how I wanted it.

That kept a smile on my face, despite the still gloomy situation, all morning.

"Hey," he called at me, waving me over. I walked Ithuriel over to him, me using my own feet to move, and held his reins as I leaned against the fence on the opposite side. Jace had a notebook in his hands, no surprise there, and didn't look up when he spoke. "How hard did you train him the past few days?"

I shrugged. "Maybe a little harder than normal due to frustration, but it wasn't anything that could harm him."

"I'm asking because his numbers are off the charts."

"What do you mean?"

He flipped the folder around to show me. "His times are cut down by two and three seconds than a week ago. James said that you've been training the same amount of time, but that it's just been more intense."

With a shrug, I said, "Maybe, but I mean, that's good right?"

"Yes," he smiled, leaning forward to kiss me quickly on the lips. "It's really good, babe."

I beamed. "Thanks."

"But I can't have you being the trainer and the jockey. Otherwise, I'm out of a job."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about," she whispered in my ear. "Because I still need you to take care of other jobs, if you know what I mean."

I stiffened at her words. "That's the most innocent dirty talk I've ever heard." I chuckled. "And yet, I'm still–"

There was a honk suddenly from an unfamiliar vehicle that cut Jace and I off. I frowned as I looked on, but then I realized who's vehicle it was. My first instinct was to run over to the black, tented truck, but Jace's presence held me back.

He must have notice though, because he gave me a knowing look and then he sighed. "Is that Sebastian?"

I nodded solemnly.

"Okay. Look, I'm going to head to the office so you two can talk."

I grabbed the back of his shirt before he could walk away, holding him near the fence. "Jace–"

"It's okay. I know you want to talk to him, even though I don't like it. I can't be mad at you," he emphasized, turning back to me. "I promise. But I know you don't want me around to talk with him. I'll only cause a fight. We have enough problems and drama around this ranch without myself adding to the mess." His eyes moved towards the now parked truck, and he watched as Sebastian got out, smiling towards me. "But, before I go…"

I wasn't sure what he was implying before his lips were on mine, and I was gasping into his mouth at the force of it. Jace was almost devouring me before he stopped just as quickly as he started, giving me a small wink before telling me that he'd be in Alec's office.

I was in such shock as I stood there, the burn from his kiss on my lips, that Ithuriel accidentally bumping into me finally brought me back to reality enough to move again.

Sebastian had arrived in front of me by that time, looking in the direction that Jace was currently walking with annoyance. "That was quite a point he just tried to prove."

I ignored that. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you after the day you had yesterday." He leaned against the fence, giving me what I assumed was a genuine expression. "How are you?"

"It's still hard, but the family is starting to recover."

"I didn't ask about them. I asked about you."

I rolled my eyes. "Seb, they are basically my family around here. If you can't care about them, it makes it really hard to be friends with you. Do you get that?"

"Yes, but I still only want to make sure you're okay," he pointed out.

I sighed. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"No matter what I say, you're not going to believe me."

"Probably not," he said with a lopsided smile. "You can't blame me for worrying about you."

No matter how annoyed I was about his hatred, it felt good having him back and checking in on me. Jace worked wonders and Simon was great, but Sebastian understood me in a way that was a friendly reminder of the past kind of way. And I missed that piece of the puzzle.

I nodded and reached back towards Ithuriel, pulling him towards me and rubbing his back. "You know, you could've called."

"Maybe." He shrugged, glancing at the horse. "You can't lie to my face though."

"I'm going to be fine," I assured him. "I promise. I miss Max but I'll get through it."

He nodded at my answer, not completely satisfied.

I decided to change the subject. "How are Camille and the wicked witch of the west?"

He seemed shocked at my question but amused at the wording. "Um, they're good."

"Just good?"

"I mean, um, yeah. Kaelie is pretty set on beating you guys at the Breeder's," he said with a small smile. "And Camille is a hardass. Nothing much to report other than the fact that I miss Luke and Jocelyn."

I laughed at that. "They always went easy on you because they liked you. Camille just wants the money and she's not going to be kind and gentle about getting it."

He laughed at that. "No, but I guess that's something I have to deal with."

There was a silence that fell over us but it wasn't uncomfortable. Even Ithuriel seemed relaxed, and Sebastian stepped up to him slowly, reaching his hand up. Ithuriel was dangerous, but he didn't even hesitate or flinch or bat an eyelash when Sebastian rubbed his hands over the horse.

"Ithuriel isn't one that lets people in easily." I watched with a small smile. "Sometimes I forget how amazing you are with horses. You've always been like a horse whisperer."

"I try," He teased. His hands followed Ithuriel's skin as he inspected him. "He's a strong horse. Hard to beat."

"Impossible," I corrected confidently. "Impossible to beat."

He turned and gave me a wink. "We'll see about that."


Again, sorry about the wait! Hope it was kind of worth it!