Author's Note:

I am so blessed to have each and every one of you very dedicated readers! I love when you review or tweet me or message me on tumblr about Ready to Fly, especially after an episode, it is truly the highlight of my day!

So for such a silly fun episode, this chapter became (maybe predictably?) very angsty, much to the dismay of my wonderful beta typegirl19, haha. There has been so much brilliant meta done on this episode on tumblr that I continually second guessed myself writing this and I had to keep reminding myself that RTF Blaine is different than canon. But I hope I have lived up to the expectations that I love you have for me.

Glee's words are not my words. Queen's words are not my words. My words, however, belong to me.


"I'm sorry Blaine. But I've waited long enough for you, I can't wait another 4 years." Kurt stood with his arms crossed in the middle of the choir room.

Voices from behind made him turn. "If you'd stayed with us you would have won Nationals and gotten into the schools of your choice," Sebastian and Nick stared him down, holding a Dalton blazer in their hands.

Blaine glanced down and suddenly he was in his bedroom. Denial letters from NYADA, NYU and Columbia lay spread out on his bed in front of him.

"You'll find someone else in California," Kurt said from the doorway. "I'm sure Berkeley is full of guys who will catch your eye."

Blaine couldn't breathe. He felt his heart breaking in his chest and took a step, reaching out. "Kurt No! I just won't go to college. I'll come to New York anyway and perform on the street if I have to!"

"Like hell you will," the Colonel growled, stepping up behind Kurt standing a hundred feet tall. "I will stand outside your dorm room door all year myself. You are not giving up college."

Kurt backed away and Blaine ran after him, but his father held him back. "No please!"

"I promise Blaine, I'll be okay," Kurt said walking out the door. "Elliot and I will be very happy together." Church bells started ringing outside the apartment, pounding in his ears. "Goodbye Blaine."

"Kurt!" Blaine screamed before he awoke with a start, the alarm on his phone ringing to wake him for school. He turned it off and fell back on his pillow in a cold sweat. Though it was just a nightmare, the reality of it played on his nerves the entire rest of his day. If one thing was clear from the dream, it was that losing Nationals would be the start of his whole life falling apart. He couldn't let that happen.


"Can I just say, Glee Club sucks," Blaine raved into the phone. "Mr. Schue asked for some ideas for Nationals, and when I gave some genius ones…" They were genius and he knew it… "everyone got all mad and started…dissing me." He went to his locker and retreated into the safety of his own little world. "Maybe I came on to strong, but since when was that a bad thing?" He checked the postcards on the inside of his locker to make sure they were exactly in position, each book to make sure it was precisely where it belonged, his hair ensure that not a strand was out of place, and his bowtie to make sure it was perfectly straight.

"It's not," Kurt told him, looking in the cabinet for something good to eat. Leading a band was ravenous work. "But you gotta remember at McKinley everyone has an equal vote and if you come on too aggressively they might think that you're a control freak or, a puppet master."

Blaine stopped and pulled the phone away from his ear. Did his fiancé just call him a puppet master?

Kurt paused. The silence was deafening. Maybe puppet master wasn't exactly the biggest help right now? "Anyway…" Kurt deflected. "I was going to call you. Pamela Lansbury booked its first gig and I know you were just here…"

Blaine pulled the phone away again and stared at it. Was he talking to himself? Did Kurt not just hear that all of his friends were mad at him and no one wanted to listen to a word he said?

"…hoping you would come cheer us on in the audience? So what do you say, can I send you the deets and a Jet Blue voucher?"

Blaine closed his eyes and shook his head. It wasn't like he had just missed a week of school or had Nationals to prepare for or 23 clubs to participate in or tests to pass to make sure he didn't screw up what little chance he had of getting into college. "Of course, I wouldn't miss it." No obviously he could just drop everything to be by Kurt's side whenever his fiancé wanted, he thought sarcastically. "I can't believe anyone would see me as controlling!"

"Great, I'll see you then! Love you!" Kurt shouted excitedly before hanging up.

Blaine stopped outside the door of his next class, leaning back against the lockers to catch his bearings. He loved Kurt, he really did, but if anyone thought he was more controlling than Kurt than they had completely lost their collective minds.

What he wouldn't do right now to have friends that just listened to him for once.


"Did you really just call your fiancé, my boyfriend, a puppet master?"

Kurt froze, wondering if it was better to pretend he hadn't heard Santana or better to tell her to mind her own business. She didn't give him the chance to decide though, instead storming around to face him, hands placed firmly on her hips. He winced and bit his lip. "I might have," he hedged but found his strength again quickly. "Blaine's a big boy, he can take a little truth telling every once in a while. Besides there was no bigger puppet master in Glee club than Rachel Berry, it can't be that bad."

"I heard that!" Rachel yelled from the kitchen.

"You're an idiot, Hummel," Santana said, grabbing his phone and typing an apology to Blaine in his texts. "He's probably having a panic attack. He's probably hyperventilating. He's probably squirting gobs of gel into his tiny little hand and gluing his hair into place as we speak."

"Give me my phone back, Satan," he said swiping it and erasing what she'd written. "Blaine is fine, you are as overdramatic as he is. It's no wonder you two are best friends."

"Hey I just tell it like it is. Don't believe me? Good luck with the consequences," she snapped before walking away and back into Dani's arms.

Kurt looked up to see Rachel watching him intently from the kitchen, a knowing look on her face. "What?" he snapped with a pout.

"He's coming to the show, isn't he?" she smirked before turning to put the salad bowl back into the fridge.

"Yes, of course," Kurt said. "He said he wouldn't miss it."

He heard her snort as she pulled out the dressing and closed the fridge. "Who's the puppet master now?" she mused.


Blaine's father had been in the army for over a decade. He'd faced the Iraqi insurgency and the Taliban in Afghanistan. He'd planned and executed missions that were matters of life and death. Over the years, Blaine had heard many stories and he knew that a pre-dawn strike was the most strategic battle plan. So Blaine set his alarm, snuck out of his house, and at O'Dark 30 he was pulling into the parking lot of McKinley High School under the cover of darkness.

Sneaking in was no problem. Everyone knew that Figgins left the rear door by the gym unlocked every night so he could reclaim the Principal's chair he still believed was rightfully his. But it was 0400 hours, Figgins should be gone, Sue shouldn't be there yet and Blaine should be free and clear to break into the office to steal back Puppet Kurt.

Hiding in the shadows outside the door he slipped on his mask and made his way silently into the office. The filing cabinet didn't budge so he pulled out the lockpick he and Sam had bought when they'd broken into Dalton, and quickly clicked the lock on the file cabinet. He pulled Kurt puppet out, held him up to make sure he was okay and carefully slid his hand inside. Freedom was theirs!

Until the light clapped on and he turned to face an enraged Principal Sylvester.

He should have worn his Nightbird costume. Without it he was doomed.

Leaving Kurt puppet on the desk was painful.

Learning he was going to have to miss Kurt's show broke his heart in two.

"Get out of here. Go feel shame," Sue ordered him.

He returned to his car to watch the sun rise and wait for school to start. Shame was exactly what he felt then and throughout the day. Every time he even considered calling Kurt, he just felt sick with guilt for how much he would be disappointing his fiancé. I wouldn't miss it, he had promised. And no matter how annoyed at Kurt he'd been at the time, he knew that being with Kurt, being in his arms, would have made it all better. His fingers brushed the screen to text or call, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't let Kurt go through the whole day knowing he wasn't coming. He couldn't bear the thought of how angry and disappointed at him Kurt would be. But most of all, he couldn't hurt Kurt like that, not today when everything was supposed to be so special. He would tell him later.

He returned to Sue's office in the afternoon, begging for a reprieve, agreeing to serve detention all the following week if she would just let him off the next two days. If she let him go now and traffic behaved he could just make his flight. He thought she would be swayed by how much of a blow to Glee Club his absence for a full week would be, but she would hear nothing of it. Truth was, as soon as she had known he was missing school to be with Kurt his fate was sealed. And as he walked into detention instead of an airport Thursday afternoon with no one but Stoner Brett for company, he closed his eyes and let the darkness take him over.


Blaine arrived home to both his mother and father in the kitchen and his heart sank. He felt bad enough that he had let Kurt down. Now he had his father to face as well.

"Hey sweetie, what are you doing here?" his mother asked, looking up from chopping vegetables for what seemed to be, now that he looked at it, a romantic dinner for two. "I thought you'd be in New York by now. Weren't you flying out right after school for Kurt's show."

"Yeah, about that," he muttered, rubbing his hands nervously on his pants. He tried to avoid his father's gaze now trained on him curiously. The last thing he needed right now was his father yelling or even worse telling him how much of a disappointment he was. "Um, can I talk to you for a minute Mom? In private?"

She glanced at the Colonel, whose eyes narrowed and brows arched, then back to Blaine. "Sure," she said and followed Blaine into his bedroom.

The door closed behind them, he put his bag on the bed, taking out a paper. He held it out for his Mom. She took it, read it, and looked up at him. "A detention slip?"

Blaine shuffled his feet and bit his lip. "I um, I kind of broke into the school this morning and Principal Sylvester caught me." He looked at her, his eyes a bit wild as he tried to explain. "I mean, she locked away my Kurt puppet in her filing cabinet yesterday and I just wanted it back, he's mine she can't just take it-"

She held up a hand for him to stop. "You broke into the school?" she asked incredulous.

Blaine lowered his head. "Not just the school. The Principal's office. And her filing cabinet." He raised his eyes and they were pleading. "Please, I just need you to sign the detention slip, I already can't go to New York for the weekend, since I missed my flight and Kurt's show starts in like, sixty minutes, and I have to go back to detention again tomorrow, please don't tell Dad."

"I'm not keeping secrets from your father," she told him. Blaine sunk onto the trunk at the foot of his bed in defeat as she walked out the door with the paper.

He took out his phone and scrolled through Kurt's excited texts from the day and Blaine didn't think anything could make him feel worse than he did right now. He knew he needed to call and he tried to think what he could say to make it better but there was nothing. He'd screwed up too badly. Kurt had needed him there in the front row to cheer him on and Blaine had thought rescuing a stupid puppet was more important than that. What his father decided didn't even really matter, nothing was worse than letting Kurt down.

The Colonel came in and handed him the signed detention slip. "You're grounded for the weekend," he said, but Blaine didn't even care. He didn't argue that he was 18 and his father couldn't do that anymore. He didn't argue that he'd already been punished enough by missing Kurt's show because the truth was, he'd already grounded himself.


Over 100 performances he'd done in his lifetime. Twelve at least with crowds far bigger than could fit in a tiny New York bar like Callbacks. And yet, Kurt was more nervous for this than he had been for any other in his life.

He was completely out of his comfort zone. Show tunes and Glee club were one thing but fronting his own band? Blaine was right, he was crazy. And yet Kurt loved what he and his friends had put together and he couldn't wait for Blaine to see it. It was one thing for his fiancé to offer him lip service about supporting him in whatever he chose to do. It was quite another for Blaine to truly stand beside him because of the quality of the work. Having him in the audience tonight would be one of those things they would remember forever.

And just for that, Kurt may have had an agenda in mind when he swayed the costume conversation the night before in the direction of gold, silver and black. Not that anyone had disagreed, but as Kurt pulled out the gold pants from his NYADA audition, he couldn't help but remember the conversation from that day…

"New York has no idea how lucky it is, having Kurt Hummel begin his life there," Blaine said.

"Our life, Blaine," Kurt replied with a loving smile. "Our life."

Blaine eyed him mischievously. "Can the gold pants go too?"

Kurt laughed, kissing him quickly and nodding. "Yes, the pants can come too."

He smiled with anticipation while he yanked and twisted the more than skin tight pants on. He grabbed a flawless top and vest to match, styled his hair to perfection and headed out the door to get to Callbacks before the rest.

As leader of the band, he arrived shortly before the bar was officially open for the night. He glanced at his phone while he waited patiently for the staff to acknowledge him. There wasn't a word from Blaine, but that was to be expected if he'd rushed straight from school to the airport. His flight should have landed only five minutes ago, and he would take the subway straight to the bar.

"Kurt Hummel?" A tall gentleman with a beard approached and Kurt recognized him as the bar manager.

"Yes, hi," he greeted professionally. They discussed the details of the evening, how long the set was, when they wanted to take a break, the equipment they would need. Even though Kurt had already gone over it all when he'd booked the club, he was glad to review, feeling better for being in control of every aspect of the evening. The manager showed him to the dressing room in the back where they could keep their belongings and Kurt put his things down. A quick check of his phone showed still no call from Blaine.

The others arrived as he was meeting with the sound engineer and he had to stop and squeal at how perfect they all looked, even Rachel. They stepped up onto the stage for sound check and Santana sidled up next to him. "Pay up Hummel," she whispered in his ear.

"I have it in the back," he muttered, grateful to have lost that bet honestly. Rachel had insisted on pulling her own outfit together and not letting anyone help. Apparently Santana's faith in her had paid off.

"I have no idea how you and your hubby are going to survive marriage when both of you constantly fight so hard for control," Santana mused.

"Marriage is a partnership, not a competition," Kurt recited back and Santana was pretty sure he'd read that somewhere in a wedding prep book. She hoped he'd made Blaine a copy.

"Okay, ready whenever you are," the engineer called and they got down to business.

When they were done with sound check they all went in the back for a while to chat and warm up for real. Kurt handed Santana her twenty while Rachel stood in the corner trilling and oooing and aahing. They reviewed their set, making notes until the musicians arrived and Santana dragged the others out to meet with them and to order themselves some drinks at the bar.

Alone in the room though his anxiety came back with a vengeance and though he tried to be patient and wait for Blaine to text him he was there, he couldn't wait anymore. Rubbing his hand absentmindedly on his pants, he dialed Blaine's number.

"Hi," Blaine answered.

"Hey!" Kurt said happily, trying very hard to calm his nervous energy and be the confident performer that his fiancé always was. He didn't need Blaine knowing just how much tonight terrified him. "Did you get your ticket that I reserved for you, house left?"

"Kurt, I was gonna call you," Blaine said and the guilt in his voice was immediately obvious to Kurt.
"Um, please don't be mad, but, I'm not in New York, I'm in Lima."

Kurt immediately grew concerned and he shot out of his seat. "Are you kidding? What happened? Did you miss your flight?"

"No I'm fine, I'm just" Blaine sputtered anxiously. "I'm trying to explain…"

Blaine went silent on the other end of the phone though and Kurt's concern turned to impatience. "Blaine, please tell me what's going on."

"Well, Principal Sylvester gave me detention. And she said if I tried to skip it she was gonna suspend me and put it on my permanent record," he explained defensively.

Kurt's mouth dropped in shock. In all the time he had known Blaine, the boy had never gotten into any real trouble once and he was pretty certain that in 13 years of schooling this was his first detention. "Wait a minute, you got detention? For what? Why didn't you call me?"

"I was trying my best not to hurt you," Blaine answered. Kurt shook his head in frustration. There it was again; running from him, always running, always too afraid to be honest, too afraid of being hurt himself. "I was just trying to steal back the Kurt puppet I made in crafts class," Blaine argued.

Kurt did a double take. "Excuse me? The what puppet?" He couldn't possibly have heard him right. If his emotions weren't so heated right now he would probably have laughed.

"I know, it's kind of a weird story," Blaine stammered, "but basically I was missing you-"

Kurt paced the floor. Blaine was making no sense. "So you made a puppet of me? Like, with felt and cloth and button eyes?" Two weeks ago he was calling for help with a simple Gaga costume and now he was suddenly a puppet designer? "Blaine what were you thinking? Are you there?" Blaine's silence spoke louder than words. He had no good answer for missing the chance to see the real him on one of the most important nights of his life because he was too busy rescuing a puppet version of him. But this time he wasn't going to let him hide and he most certainly wasn't going to do it himself. "Blaine, this was a really big night for me and I wanted you here to see it." He heard Blaine searching for words, but still his fiancé said nothing. It had been a long time since he'd heard Blaine that worked up and he knew he should be more sympathetic and find out what was really going on with him, but right now he had a show to do and he needed to end this before either one of them got more upset or said something they'd regret. "Blaine, I have to go, I'll call you later." He hung up the phone and threw it down on the dressing table in frustration.

"Hey," Rachel called, parting the curtain.

Angry and disappointed, Kurt turned with a sigh. "You can release Blaine's seat," he said.

"I don't think that's going to be necessary," she said hesitantly. Kurt had no idea why but he followed her out to the bar to find only one person in the seats. One person, he was told, who had thought the real Angela Lansbury had been performing that night.

Kurt had always liked roller coasters, but this day had been way too big a drop from top to bottom way too fast and his stomach turned. But as the others started to walk away, Kurt realized he couldn't let it end this way. "No, come on guys, this is actually a good thing." Kurt hoped that in the process of convincing them, he could convince himself. At least now he was actually somewhat glad that Blaine hadn't come. "This will give us the chance to rehearse in a real venue, full out with real sound and the acoustics of a bar and not our apartment. Consider it a dress rehearsal for our next booking. Come on, it's perfect."

"Kurt's right," Rachel jumped in looping her arm in Kurt's with a smile. He was always grateful to have her by his side. "This'll be great, come on. We've got the space, we might as well use it."

Dani took a step toward them and shrugged. "It would be good to hear how it sounds in this kind of space."

"And to see how we move in a crowd of tables," Elliot pointed out, joining the other three. They all turned to Santana and waited for her answer.

"Oh fine," she relented with a huff and Dani reached a hand out to drag her on stage. "But when we get home I'm giving your fiancé a piece of my mind about why he's not here!" she snapped at Kurt.

"It sounds like maybe he could use it," Kurt muttered under his breath. "He wouldn't talk to me, so if you can get something out of him I would be forever grateful."

"Okay less talk, more singing," Dani directed and strummed her guitar with the chords of their first song. The drums started in and the beat took them over. "A five, six, seven, eight…"


Blaine struggled from his car up the stairs to his apartment Friday afternoon with a box full of supplies to spend his weekend making a dozen puppets. On top, mercifully, laid Kurt puppet, hard earned by promising Principal Sylvester something horrid he didn't even want to think about until Monday morning.

He ignored his phone all day.

He got the texts from Kurt promising he wasn't mad he just wanted to talk. He got the voicemail from Santana barking, "It's one thing to ignore your fiancé because you feel guilty you missed his first performance, which ended up not being a performance because there was no one in the audience, but not calling me back? Inexcusable."

But he'd just wanted to get through the day, another day of Sam and Tina barely talking to him. Detention with Jake and Becky had given him the idea and he was grateful his crafts teacher had been there so late in the day. And now he was finally home where he could relax and think.

This was just what he needed, a weekend of nothing but him and crafting and surrounding himself with friends that would listen and not judge. A weekend of figuring out exactly what was going on with him.

Kurt puppet sat on the trunk at the foot of the bed, watching as Blaine's floor became more and more covered in material. Blaine worked for a couple hours before putting the finishing touches on Santana puppet. He sat her in his office chair, pulled out his phone and took a picture with a smile. Then he scrolled through to the video she'd sent him of Elliot.

"If anyone should be worried about their fiancé running off with Elliot, it should be Kurt." Blaine's eyes opened wide as his head snapped up. Santana puppet was staring right back at him with an exasperated toss of her head. "How many times exactly have you watched that video, Boyfriend? A billion?"

"Not that often," he defended himself with a frown. "And I'm not watching the video I'm just looking for a good shot as a model for Puppet Elliot."

"How about the one of him thrusting his cocky self into the air?" Santana puppet smirked. "That's just your style isn't it?"

Blaine looked at her and the video in his hand and tossed it to the ground. "Santana can I ask you a question? Do you think I have intimacy issues?" he asked her earnestly.

She stared at him blankly for a second. "Is this a trick question because I thought that was common knowledge."

"I'm serious Santana. I was talking about it earlier with Jake-"

"Oh, of course! The perfect person to talk to about intimacy, after he cheated on Marley with the head bitch in charge and banged the whole cheerleading squad," she said dripping with sarcasm.

Blaine huffed and grabbed the green fabric and head for the Elliot Puppet. "Nevermind, forget I said anything."

"Oh chillax Boyfriend, what has gotten your panties all twisted in some horrible Emo experiment. Let's see… you run to some random when you think Kurt's left you behind, you soak in the attention you get from Tina, you love that Sam loves that you're gay and enjoys the attention you give him, and you have a lesbian for a BFF who would totally do you if either of you were straight. We won't even mention Rachel and Jeremiah and Sebastian. Nope. No intimacy issues there."

"Santana," Blaine whined.

"Blaine," she drawled then settled down with a deep breath. "Bottom line? You want people to love you but you don't want to be vulnerable. So you do what you can to get what you need without it being scary."

"So what about Kurt?" he asked.

"What about me?" barked a voice behind him. Blaine turned to find Kurt puppet scowling at him. "You make a puppet of me that you can manipulate to your every desire. You're afraid I'll be mad at you so you avoid calling me and then when I'm just trying to make sure you're okay you refuse to call me back because once again I didn't listen to what you needed in the first place and deep down you're still really mad at me. I know you love me Blaine, but forgiving a puppet isn't the same thing as forgiving the real me."

"Oh god, I know," Blaine's head fell into his hands. "I know."

"Honey, are you okay?"

His mother's voice pulled him out of his daydream and Blaine looked up at her in the doorway. He looked back at the Kurt and Santana puppet, both now quiet and still. He shook his head and rested against the trunk. "I don't know Mom. I haven't really felt well all week."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She walked over to the chair and picked up Santana, sitting down and putting the puppet on the floor. "Have you joined a puppet club or something Blaine?" she chuckled, scanning the room.

Blaine shook his head. "No, that would make actually make sense." He looked up at his mother through troubled eyes. "Sam and Tina got mad at me because I tried to take charge in Glee club and Kurt called me a puppet master and well…" He looked around the room. "I kind of felt like I didn't have a friend in the world."

"So you decided to make your own?" she asked, picking up a plain piece of foam for a head. "I remember when you were little and struggling in school and with Cooper, you did everything with your superhero action figures. But they didn't really fill the void, did they?"

Blaine remembered those days clearly. "They were my best friends. They were never mean because I was too small or too smart. They told me whatever I wanted. They were strong, like Dad. But they protected me too." But his mother was right. Nothing filled that void until he made real friends at Dalton.

"They were who you wanted them to be Blaine, because they weren't real. Telling you what you want to hear doesn't make someone a friend. Telling you what you need to hear does," she said.

Blaine took a deep breath. He knew it was true. That's why even when Kurt and Santana were puppets they hadn't coddled him like the rest. They were the best friends that he had.

"Look, sweetie, I know things aren't easy for you right now," Amy said. "You're growing up, getting ready to move out on your own, go to college, get married. It's probably the most terrifying time of your life and it's okay to fall apart a little bit." She pulled out an envelope, one he hadn't even noticed her bring in to the room. "But maybe this will make you feel a little better?"

He reached a tentative hand and took it from her. Berkeley. And he was certain what it said.

Dear Mr. Anderson,

We are pleased to inform you…

He didn't even need to read the rest, lowering it down to his lap. His stomach curled in knots. "I got in," he whispered near tears.

"Well sweetheart, that's wonderful!" His mother's eyes sparkled with joy at his first college acceptance letter. But she frowned at his own lack of excitement. "What's wrong?"

"What if I don't get in anywhere in New York?" Blaine tried hard to push down the thoughts in his head. But he knew what this meant. If nothing else came through for him, he had no excuse not to go to California. Alone.

"Then you will cross that bridge if it happens," Amy told her son sensibly.

Blaine nodded, knowing she was right and still hating that it was even a possibility. "I know I'm grounded Mom, but do you mind if I sneak out in the morning to FedEx? I need to send a box to Kurt."

She smiled softly and chuckled under her breath. "You know, you're not the only one finding it hard that you're growing up. Your father forgets you're not a kid anymore. You're 18 years old Blaine. You can go out if you want to."

"I just want to finish Dani, Elliot's and Rachel's puppets tonight so I can send them in the morning. Then I'm gonna spend the weekend making the rest of the Glee club. I want them to know how much I appreciate all of them."

She picked up the pink fabric off the floor and draped it over the foam. "You know I've always been pretty fond of Rachel Berry," she grinned at him. "Mind if I help you? Might go a lot quicker that way and I've got no important plans this weekend."

For the first time in a week, Blaine felt both his muscles and his mind settle down and he smiled. Spending a weekend talking to his Mom instead of a room full of puppets was exactly what he needed. "I would really love that," he said.


Blaine to Santana [11:13pm]: Thank you for always being honest with me. Even in puppet form.

Santana to Blaine [11:15pm]: Your wel… What?!

Santana to Blaine [11:17pm]: What on earth are you smoking Anderson?

Blaine to Kurt [11:20pm]: I'm sorry I haven't called. And I'm so sorry I missed your first show even if I would have been the only one in the audience. Especially because I would have been the only one in the audience.

Kurt to Blaine [11:23pm]: You should be sorry. You missed the gold pants too. I'd brought them out special and now I shall withhold them from you next time you visit as punishment.

Blaine to Kurt [11:25pm]: Now I'm REALLY sorry!

Kurt to Blaine [11:26pm]: I love you. Even at your most stubborn and controlling. You know that, right?

Blaine to Kurt [11:28pm]: I do. I love you too. Even at your most stubborn and controlling.

Kurt to Blaine [11:30pm]: Call me whenever you're ready. Okay? I miss you. I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, I'm here.

Blaine to Kurt [11:33pm]: You're the best friend that I ever had. I've been with you such a long time.
You're my sunshine and I want you to know that my feelings are true. I really love you. You're my best friend.

Kurt to Blaine [11:37pm]: I've been wandering round, but I still come back to you. In rain or shine you've stood by me. I'm happy, happy at home. You're my best friend.


"Kurt what would you do if I didn't get into any of the schools in New York?" Blaine asked. His room showed the evidence of his marathon spree of puppet making that weekend, even in the narrow view Kurt had of it through Skype. And if Kurt was honest, he loved his fiancé just a little bit more for how absolutely adorable he was.

"Well you could always go into puppetry," Kurt smirked, but at Blaine's roll of the eyes, he tempered his expression. "Blaine, you're getting in, don't worry."

"But imagine I don't," Blaine insisted and Kurt could very obviously see the desperation in his eyes. "Imagine I just get into Berkeley. What would you do?"

Kurt frowned. It was something he had been avoiding thinking about, but obviously it was weighing heavily on Blaine so he didn't want to ignore it. "I don't know," he said honestly, but if he really thought about it he was pretty certain of the answer. "I guess I'd look into seeing if I can transfer."

Blaine's looked at Kurt like the sun and moon rose with him. "You'd really move to California for me?"

Kurt melted at the hearts in Blaine's eyes. "Well what did you expect silly?" he giggled.

Blaine blushed and shrugged. "I don't know. In my dream you ran off with Elliot."

Kurt's jaw dropped with surprise. "I did what?" he gasped.

Blaine shrugged and the sadness in his eyes twisted Kurt's heart. "You said you couldn't wait for me anymore."

"Well that part was right, I can't wait for you anymore," Kurt said softly. "I can't wait to wake up with you every morning, and go to sleep with you every night and I can't wait to marry you, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Kurt glanced at the puppet, sitting in the corner of his room and back at Blaine, his brow drawn. "Is that what this was all about? You were afraid of losing me again so you built a puppet version of me?"

"No," Blaine said quickly, shaking his head. "I mean, I don't think so. Maybe. It was just…everything. Nationals and college and being engaged…it's just a lot."

Kurt thought back to his conversation with Rachel before they'd decided to get tattoos. He remembered how High School had seemed so much pressure. Sometimes he forgot that Blaine was still there.

"I made an appointment with my therapist," Blaine told him. "I think I might go back regularly until I leave Ohio. Just to help with the stress."

Kurt smiled warmly. "That sounds like a good idea," he said. He wished he could reach out and hold him, reassure him. Touch was so much easier than words. In truth he struggled with both, keeping people at a distance for so long. They both did. But they were trying to do better. "Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not running off with Elliot. Or anyone. When I said we would give this another try Blaine, I knew it was forever. For better or for worse."

"Is fighting with a puppet version of you better or worse?" Blaine asked, and Kurt knew he was only half joking.

"Fighting is good Blaine, but only if you fight back," Kurt said. Blaine lowered his eyes and Kurt continued. "Sweetie, I know you're scared, but you can't be afraid to fight with me. You don't need a puppet to tell me what you think, or what you want, or how you feel. I won't hurt you and I won't leave."

Blaine was quiet and Kurt waited him out, hoping he'd said the right thing. When Blaine spoke again, his voice was small, almost trembling. "I told Puppet Kurt I forgave you."

Kurt's forehead creased with uncertainty. "Forgave me for what," he asked hesitantly. Blaine looked away and Kurt instantly saw retreat and fought it. "Blaine, whatever it was, whatever it is, it's okay," he assured him. "I just…I just want to know."

Blaine's gaze didn't return and Kurt had to strain to hear, but the words out of Blaine's mouth hit him like a shout. "For the way you treated me when you first left. And again when I called you about Glee club. For not listening to me. For making me feel like…"

"A puppet?" Blaine frowned. He hadn't thought if that way before, not until Rachel had mentioned it the other day. But there was a certain truth to it. Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry."

"All my life Kurt. I did what my father said. I said what he told me to. I tried to be the kid he wanted just so I'd be okay that day." Blaine pressed at his eyes to keep the tears from escaping. "And then I went to Dalton and I was freer than I ever was. The guys craved order and structure and leadership and I craved control. People listened to me there and they loved me. I was their hero Kurt, in the Warblers I couldn't do anything wrong. I didn't think I was a Puppet Master there at the time but you obviously did."

"Oh Blaine, I didn't mean it-"

"But you did, Kurt," Blaine maintained. "You were the one person to call me on it, even back then. And then I got to McKinley and with you I was safe and I didn't need to control so much. But then you were gone, and the year has gone so slowly and now my only shot at being back with you is completely out of my control, but winning Nationals Kurt, that I can do, I know I can."

"Blaine," Kurt breathed and god how he wished they were in the same room having this conversation instead of through a computer screen. "Being together is completely within our control and I promise you, we will be together. Nationals or no Nationals. New York or no New York."

He let Kurt's words settle in his skin. He let himself believe them. "I love you," Blaine smiled and he felt like the air was fresh and he could breathe again for the first time since his dream.

"I love you too," Kurt smiled back. The knot he'd barely noticed in his stomach untangled and his eyes twinkled with mischief. "And now that we have that over with, I think I need to hear about exactly everything that happened between you and puppet Kurt. I mean, Tina did tell me you liked that you could control him," he smirked with an intrigued gaze.

"Oh god," Blaine murmured, his face falling into his hands with an embarrassed smile.

"She also said she caught you with your hand up her skirt? I thought we were over that phase Blaine," he teased.

"See how desperate I get without you around," Blaine teased back, but his eyes grew dark quickly and Kurt's heart skipped a beat. "I don't want Tina though. I don't want anyone but you," Blaine whispered. "You're my only one. And I love the things that you do. You're my best friend." He swallowed and his stomach clenched with desire. "I need you, Kurt, so badly."

Kurt carried his laptop over to the bed and thanked the universe his roommates weren't home. "Tell me exactly what to do Blaine," he begged and watched Blaine's breath hitch. "Tell me everything you want."


Author's Note:

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing and standing by me. I love you.

Keep your eyes on my tumblr to find out if I'm going to write "Previously Unaired Christmas." If it's completely AU like I imagine and not in this timeline I will be skipping it. So if that's the case, I will see you all in February and check out my other fics during the hiatus ;)