Giles surrendered. His need to see her, to reassure himself, could no longer be ignored. Three days and he had lost his resolve. Three endless, sleepless nights filled with images of his slayer in his bed had all but driven him mad. He stood and stared at the dormitory door, struggling with his personal demons. She would never tell him the truth, never respect him, but it didn't matter. He had to see her. He knocked on the door and waited.

Willow opened the door and stared up at him. He could see the signs of another teary night on her face. He had hoped to find Buffy alone, but luck was not with him. Really, when had it ever been?

"Hi, Giles." She stepped back and let him into the room. He could see the remnants of a casting on the floor. "I was just cleaning up."

"You've been doing magic?" He looked at the spell remnants and wondered if this was the thing Buffy was concealing from him. "Is Buffy aware of this?"

"She would have to sleep here once and a while to know anything. I'm supposed to be all tucked away in another room for safety, but she isn't here. She's been off, slaying and doing the cool college girl thing. She took beer away from me last night. Like she's Miss Know It All. She just doesn't get it." Willow glared at the empty bed on the far side of the room.

"She has been rather distracted lately. The jump to University can be quite difficult for some." He took off his his glasses as he considered the implications of the unused bed.

"Yep, there you go making excuses for her royal slayiness. I'm her best friend and she doesn't tell me anything. Oz left, and she doesn't even have time to get ice cream and watch movies. Is that really so hard? To spend time with your friends?" Willow shoved her candles into a box and shoved the lot under her bed.

"Willow, are you quite sure you should be attempting spells on your own?" He put his glasses back on and took in her mulish expression.

"What? You don't think I'm good enough to do a simple spell. I'm supposed to wait for you to have time to supervise me. I'm supposed to wait for Buffy to have time for me. I'm back burner Willow." The red head looked up at him with a petulant expression.

"I am sorry for your pain, Willow. Believe me. I just worry about your attempting spells when you are emotionally distraught." He smiled gently at her, hoping to calm her.

"It didn't work. It was just a simple spell to have my will be done so I wouldn't have to hurt anymore, but it went kablooey." Willow looked up at him. Her sad eyes looking for something, some answer he apparently didn't have.

"Give it time, Willow. Magic and grief are not a good combination. If you take your time and go through the emotions, I am sure you will adjust to these changes." Giles smiled gently, trying to reassure her. Shaking her senseless didn't seem quite the thing though it held a certain appeal. "You can only wait out the pain. I'm sorry."

"Everything is about waiting. I have to wait for my cheating, werewolf ex to come back. I have to wait for my best friend to have time for me. I have to wait for the pain to go away. None of you get it. I can't wait. Oz was everything to me. Now he's gone, and none of you get it. You don't see it." Willow glared at him and her eyes caught the light in the room oddly. "You don't see anything."

A shiver ran down his spine. The rage inside of the girl would dissipate in time, but they would all need to pay more attention to her and help her through this. He looked over at Buffy's bed and determined to speak with her about her responsibilities as soon as he could find her.


It had been three days since she had so much as smiled. Ethan glared at the back of her golden head as she sat curled into the one chair in the other slayer's room. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. Her emotions, her damnable, open hearted kindness drove him mad. It was impossible to hate her, and he loathed her for it, for making him feel anything beyond amusement at the twists and turns chaos was providing.

He couldn't even complain about her dedication or her sense of responsibility. Whatever he required of her she did, always thinking of her Giles being free. She was getting rather good at wards and protections. Her glamours were top notch. Better than his own, truth be told. It wasn't as if she needed to become a sorceress or a witch. She just needed to be able to burn off the extra magic her body was absorbing.

Janus, why wouldn't Ripper emerge? The magic should be drawing him to the surface. He narrowed his eyes considering his options. Perhaps he could push things along.

He watched as Buffy stood, the outline of her rounded body displayed by the light coming through the uncovered window. She would need maternity clothes soon. The elastic waists of her bottoms were nearing their limits. Shame hit him hard as he considered the sacrifices she was making for his old mate. She nodded at him and plucked her bag from the foot of the bed.

"I have to get to class." She tilted her head and held out her bracelet. "Could you put it on me?"

He snapped the jewelry onto her wrist and watched her return to her thin looking frame. It didn't change the sadness lurking in her eyes. He looked away from her. Guilt was his constant companion. He didn't need to feed it.

"Have a good day, Buffy. I will be at the store if you need me."

"I know. Thanks for meeting me here. I know it isn't the best practice space. I just worry about her being unprotected at night. These rooms aren't secure." She rubbed her arms and shivered. It had been days since she had slept in a proper bed, days since she had slept most likely. Ethan considered her as she fussed with Faith's blankets and murmured to her fallen sister.

"You should try to get some proper rest. This can't be good for you or the babies, my dear girl." He flinched as she turned to him with an agonized expression.

"I don't have a choice. I won't leave her vulnerable and Spike's handling patrols." She grabbed up the newspaper from the bedside table and squinted at it for a moment before looking around the room through narrowed eyes. "They need to change the lightbulbs. This place is gloomy enough."


Giles rubbed the back of his neck as he opened his front door. He had wasted a day searching for Buffy. She wasn't sleeping in her dormitory. Her mother's house stood empty. He had even ventured into the mansion, despite his loathing of the place. There was no trace of her. He rubbed his face with his hand. An entire day's endeavor for naught.

He was exhausted and wanted a drink. He moved toward the kitchen to grab a glass when he heard a sob and turned toward his couch. Buffy was there, curled in a fetal position. She looked as shattered as he felt.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?" He moved closer, looking for any sign of injury.

"I know you said I couldn't come here unless I needed a watcher, but I think I might." She sat up and looked past him. He shook his head. After everything, she would not give him even the decency of meeting his gaze. He took a deep breath, preparing to ask her to leave. "I can't see, Giles. I'm blind."