Hey sup at ya'll! :D Hope you're having a great week, mine's been cray cray. Hashtag rough life, lololol.
Okay so anyways. Here's an update. Not much to say about it.
Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, followed, etc. etc. the last chapter. As always, you guys are my shining stars!
Hope this resolution sits well with you guys. It's a little heavy, and there's some violence, but other than that, not too crazy, I don't think.
Enjoy! 8)~
She looked at me.
I looked at her.
The others looked at both of us.
"Who the fuck are you?" Other Me said, glaring at me. "And why the fuck are you in my body?"
"I'd totally make a body joke here, but there's just too many to choose from," Kurt muttered.
"Shut up, Pansy," Other Me snapped. "I'm trying to talk to this imposter bitch, here." She turned her angry brown eyes- my eyes- on me and her lips curled up into a snarl. I automatically cowered away from her. What? She was scary! "Hey- pussy girl- can you talk, or are you going to sit there whimpering? Answer my question!"
I squeezed my eyes shut. Why was she so mean? This was just too much for me to handle, I didn't know who she was or why she looked like me, either, but there was no need to be so rude about it-
"Are you fucking dumb?" Other Me hissed, suddenly right in my face, and I brought my arms up to my head just in case she was planning to hit me, but then Brittany was standing in front of me protectively and pressing her hand to Other Me's chest.
"Santana, stop," Brittany said firmly.
"What the fuck, Brittany?" Other Me asked. "Is this some kind of joke? Who is that bitch? Why are you all looking at me like that?" She turned to glare at the others, who were still baffled to see two of us in the same room, still trying to determine if one of us was an imposter, and to be honest I was really confused myself, I mean, I was pretty sure that I was real, but does a clone ever know if it's real or not? Maybe I-
"Is someone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?" Other Me demanded angrily, balling her hands up into fists. She glared at me again. "Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm- Santana," I said weakly, a little proud that I had found the courage to speak.
Other Me burst into uproarious laughter. "You are not Santana," she said coldly. "I'm Santana."
"I think- I think they both are," Sam said suddenly.
"I think so, too," Mercedes muttered. "I don't believe it, but-"
"That's impossible!" Other Me snapped. She looked at Brittany. "Isn't it? Brittany, tell them it's impossible!"
Brittany shrugged. "Nothing is impossible," she said. Other Me looked baffled. I shook my head slowly, trying to process everything.
"Santana," Sam started.
"Yes?" I answered brightly.
"Yeah?" Other Me huffed at the same time, then shot me a threatening look, as if she was angry that I answered to my own name.
"Okay, that's gonna get old fast," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes.
"We need to think of something to call them," Arty agreed.
"What about- Nice Santana and… Mean Santana?" Blaine suggested.
"More like Flawless Santana," Other Me laughed. "Flawless Santana and- and Pussy Santana." She flicked her finger at my collarbone, laughing.
"Owtch," I whimpered, flinching away from her. She laughed again, louder, and Brittany frowned at her.
"Okay, stop," Sam said impatiently. "Mean Santana-"
"You mean Flawless Santana."
"I'm not calling you that."
Other Me shrugged. "Then don't fucking talk to me."
"Snix," Quinn said suddenly.
"What?" Kurt asked, raising a perfectly-sculpted eyebrow. I was impressed at how he managed to keep them so neat, I mean, we didn't have a stylist down here, so.
"Santana always said she had a dark side, like an evil twin, that came out when she was angry," Quinn explained, and I blinked. Did I really used to say that? I couldn't remember. Maybe I was the clone. The thought troubled me. "She named it Snix."
Snix smiled evilly. "Perfect. You can address me as that."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay, then, Snix- what happened down in the Community Center?"
"Well, I fucking got cut in half, Sam, is your memory fucked up? That stupid razor alien thing sliced me in half- I transformed back to human and then went straight to cheetah because no one fucks with me and lives to tell about it, ya feels me?" Snix said. "But then you had to stick your big fat trouty lips in my business and drag me away, otherwise I would've finished that alien, all the Hork-Bajir and Taxxons, and got Puck out, too!"
"Right," Sam said flatly. "And Santana?"
It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. "Yes?" I asked timidly.
"What do you remember?"
"I- I almost died."
"Obviously, dumbass," Snix sneered.
"Sant- I mean- Snix," Brittany scolded.
Snix rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, but she kept quiet while I struggled to remember what happened down in the Community Center.
"I- I got cut in half," I said slowly. "And then- I tried to figure out what to do for a while. I think? Eventually I changed back to, like, human, and then…" I closed my eyes and focused really hard. It was hard to remember, like, it had happened so long ago and I was having trouble grasping it. "I think- Mercedes found me?"
Mercedes nodded. "That's right. And you came home with us, right?"
I shrugged helplessly. "I guess so. I can't really remember."
Sam released a heavy breath. "Well, this sucks."
"Tell me about it," Arty agreed. "As if one Santana wasn't enough."
"Well obviously something went wrong when she got cut in half. But the question is: why did she become two people?" Quinn wondered.
Brittany shrugged. "I don't know. It's not normal."
"I guess we could try and figure out more about what that creature was she turned into," Blaine suggested.
"It's a good place to start," Sam agreed. "Maybe if we figure out what split them, we can figure out how to get them back together."
"Woah- hold the fuck up," Snix raged. "Back together? You don't honestly expect me to want that wuss to become part of me again, do you? Because that's just fucking ridiculous. I'm obviously far better off without that weak, whimpering moron. I'm obviously the strongest, most important parts of the person I used to be, and that pussy," she gestured to me, "is all the weak, insecure parts."
"I'm not weak," I protested. I wasn't, was I? Just because I didn't like to fight- just because I didn't want to transform anymore- just because-
"You're a coward," Snix sneered. "You're a puny, pathetic weakling, and if Sam was actually smart, he'd let me kill you right now."
I bit my lip, feeling tears spring to my eyes. God, Snix was so mean. I wasn't a coward. I wasn't.
I choked back a sob, and Snix laughed. I felt arms sliding around me, and Brittany's comforting scent invaded my nose. I turned and buried my face into her shoulder and she held me tightly while I broke down against her.
"What the fuck, Brittany?" Snix exclaimed. "Don't fucking encourage her! The little pussy needs to take a concrete pill and harden the fuck up-"
"That's enough, Snix," Brittany said firmly, holding me tighter.
"I can't believe you're taking her side! I'm obviously the better half, here-"
"Sit down, Snix," Sam ordered, and I peeked out from Brittany's shoulder to see Snix turning to Sam, glaring menacingly.
"Don't tell me what to do, Sam."
"Don't challenge me, Snix."
"And what if I do, huh?" Snix snarled, getting up in Sam's face. I hid further into Brittany's shirt. "What're you going to do about it? You're all talk-"
"Snix, please don't-" Mercedes started, but Snix was already exploding, screaming in Spanish.
"[You think you can take me on? Come on, Trouty! I'll rip you into pieces! I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent, and I'm proud! Do you know what happens in Lima Heights Adjacent?! Bad things!]"
Quinn rushed forward to wrap her arms around Snix's waist, holding her back as she screamed at Sam and waved her arms menacingly. Blaine got up to help, because Snix was getting more and more riled up by the second.
"[This has been coming for a long time, so let's go! I'm going to give you the ass-kicking you've been begging for!]"
She continued to scream and threaten Sam, who was shaking his head bitterly, his face a stony mask of disappointment. I continued to cry against Brittany, wondering if all these thoughts- all these angry thoughts about Sam- had existed in me all along, but I'd been keeping them locked away. Had this side of me- the me that I currently was- been the only thing keeping the old, cohesive me from fighting Sam? The thoughts were troubling. I cried harder.
"I'll kill you, Sam!" Snix screamed. "I'll fucking kill you! I'll kill you!"
Sam rolled his eyes, and I whimpered, holding onto Brittany tighter. Brittany rocked me gently and stroked my hair, trying to soothe me, but she didn't know how it felt, you know? Arty and Mercedes and Kurt just watched on with wide, incredulous eyes as Snix raged and cursed and flailed and threatened to kill every person in the room.
"She's not part of me," I choked. I couldn't believe that Snix had been inside me, that she had been a part of me, and that now she was out and everyone could see her, could see all the dark thoughts and feelings I had been keeping locked away. Did that person really live in me? Did she really exist? "That's not who I am," I whimpered over and over and over, and Brittany continued to stroke my hair. It was long moments before Snix calmed down, but the damage was already done- everyone had seen her, everyone had seen the psychotic, out of control horror that had been inside me.
Why would I ever want that back?
I swallowed.
"You good?" Quinn asked in a firm voice from her place on the floor with Snix. She had her arms locked around Snix's shoulders, and Snix looked flustered, her hair tousled, as she sat against Quinn and gave a curt nod. Quinn released her hold but didn't move, and the two of them sat on the floor, out of breath and disheveled. I bit my lip as I felt a new round of tears coming. God, I was so pathetic-
"Okay, so now we have to figure out what to do now," Sam said quietly, sounding contemplative.
"What do we do with her?" Arty asked, gesturing to Snix.
"We could kill her," Kurt said nonchalantly.
"I'd like to see you try, Twink!" Snix snarled from the floor.
"Can we think of real solutions here?" Quinn asked snippily.
"I was," Kurt said indignantly. "I like this Santana," he gestured to me, "better."
"But she's- I don't know, missing something vital," Blaine argued.
"A spine?" Mercedes suggested.
"She's a pussy," Arty said flatly.
"Hah! Told ya," Snix laughed.
My bottom lip trembled. Is that what they all thought of me? Would they choose Snix over me in the end, just because I wasn't as violent as her? Brittany rubbed my back soothingly, but I averted my eyes to the ground and struggled to hold in my tears. Why was everyone being so mean to me? I didn't do anything to deserve it-
"Am I going to die?" I whimpered.
"No, honey," Brittany reassured quickly. She cupped my face and stroked her thumb over my cheek, swiping away a tear that had fallen.
"No one's killing either of you-" Sam agreed.
"We'll see about that," Snix muttered, and I shivered.
"-but we can't have two Santanas on any mission," Sam finished.
"You don't need two Santanas," Snix boasted. "You just need one- me!"
Sam shook his head. "No. You're out of control. I can't trust you to put the team first."
"What?!" Snix exploded. "Tell me you're joking!"
"I'm not," Sam said, his voice hard. "You're sitting this one out."
"You can't keep me here!" Snix argued. "I'll leave-"
"And Kurt- you and Blaine are going to watch over the two Santanas," Sam finished.
Snix burst out laughing, and Kurt and Blaine looked like Sam had just sentenced them to death. Maybe he had. Maybe he'd sentenced me to death, too. No way would Klaine be able to stop Snix from killing me-
"Sam, you've had some fucking retarded ideas in the past, but this one is the best," Snix giggled. "You really think Team Gay is going to stop me? Kurt couldn't even stop his Frankenteen step-brother-"
"Don't," Kurt snapped.
Snix smirked at him. "What are you going to do about it, Porcelain?"
"How about you just don't find out?" Kurt growled.
"Hah," Snix laughed, raising a challenging eyebrow. Kurt's hands balled into fists, and I could see the tension in his jaw from where he was clenching his teeth. My eyes traced over his face. He really did have pretty flawless skin-
Sam sighed and rubbed his temples. "First things first- we need to figure out what caused Santana to split like this. I think taking a look around the Community Center is a good place to start." He took a deep breath. "Quinn and Mercedes, I need you on the mission. Brittany, I'd like you to go, too."
I felt fear shoot down my spine. Brittany was the only thing protecting me from Snix. If she left, there's no telling what Snix would do to me. I chewed my lip anxiously at the thought. I think Brittany sensed it, too, because she shook her head. "I can't leave her, Sam." She slid her hand into mine and I felt a little better.
Snix glared.
"I'll go," Arty volunteered. "One Santana is bad enough. It's in my best interest to find a way to reunite them."
"Right," Sam said. He paused. "We should probably go now, before the lab gets cleaned up, see if we can glean any info from the computers or whatever."
"Maybe there're some filing cabinets down there," Mercedes suggested with a shrug.
"It's a thought," Quinn said, smiling.
"It's about time she had one," Snix mumbled.
Sam looked at Kurt, his eyes serious. "We'll be back soon. Don't let either of them leave."
SNIXXX
/
It hadn't even been an hour and I was already going crazy from boredom.
Team Gay was sitting on the couch playing some stupid board game, and Pussy Santana and Brittany were painting each other's toenails- how fucking lame could they get?
I rolled my eyes for what felt like the millionth time in five minutes. Seriously, I was starting to get a fucking headache from it. I had my arms crossed tightly against my chest, scowling at everyone in the room. Sam had forbid me to leave this underground torture pit, Brittany was obviously exploring the wussier side of life with my pathetic half, and Klaine were living up to the gayest of gay stereotypes.
Fucking Trouty. This was all his fault. I could be out, I don't know, doing something- anything other than what I was currently doing. I stood up abruptly to head to my room.
"Where are you going?" Pretty Pony asked, looking up from Monopoly: Gay Edition or whatever the fuck he was playing.
"To my room, is that okay, Mom?"
Pretty Pony answered me with a glare and Pussy Santana looked up from Brittany's toenails. I caught her brown eyes and she averted hers quickly, and I smirked, shaking my head. What a pathetic wuss.
I stormed into my room and flung open the door to my tiny closet. You know, for someone as badass as me, I really should've had a bigger room with a bigger closet. I was going to have to talk to Splenda about that, pronto. Especially since I had to share the fucking room with Brittany and my puss twin.
I snatched my leather jacket from the hanger- it pays to have Splenda's credit card for online shopping- and put it on. There was no fucking way I was staying locked up in this hell hole, Trouty or no Trouty. And all the gays in the world were not going to stop me.
I strolled out of my room purposefully, heading to the lift. I heard Lady Gay call after me, but I ignored him. This was too fucking easy.
SNIXXX
/
I hated the mall. I don't know why I even went there, but it was the only place I could think of. I couldn't really remember anything that I used to like to do. Didn't I have any hobbies besides fucking cheerleading? Ugh, was I really a cheerleader for so long? Fucking kill me.
It was a good way to kill some time, and also a good way to actually want to kill people. I hated people, especially stupid ones- and the mall seemed to attract the stupidest, worst ones. I was in a shop looking for some new black clothes- because let's face it, you can never own too much black- when one of the stupidest people alive decided to call my name, at the same time deciding that she probably didn't want to be alive for much longer. Bad decisions, really.
"Santana?"
I paused in my digging through the clearance box and stiffened. That couldn't fucking be who I thought it was-
The girl- I think her name was Celeste or something?- chuckled from behind me and I closed my eyes.
Oh. It was.
"So what, did you get pregnant or something?" Celeste taunted. "Is that why you dropped out of school and Cheerios?"
"Celeste," I said in a forcibly sweet tone, glaring down at the shirt in my hands. "I'm going to make a suggestion to you that I really hope you follow: Shut. The fuck. Up. I really don't want to have to kill you."
"Kill me?" She asked incredulously, laughing. "You're joking, right?"
I spun around, and let my gaze bore into her. "No," I hissed.
She looked taken aback for a moment but obviously had no common sense to alert her that I meant business, and opened her mouth again. "So is that it, then?"
"What?" I snapped. Was she still fucking talking?
"You're pregnant? I mean, that's what's going around-"
"Are you a fucking moron?" I demanded.
Celeste smirked. "Wait- that can't be true," she said slowly, obviously leading up to something.
I narrowed my eyes, trying to resist the overpowering urge to smack the smirk right off her face because I really didn't want to risk getting blood on my leather jacket if I broke her nose. "And why is that?"
Celeste leaned closer, in my face, and I took a deep breath. She was really trying my patience. "Because you're a big, fat lesbian- aren't you?"
I blinked. Did she really just-
"You're just a big ol' dyke now, so how could you possibly get pregnant? I saw you with that blond-haired bimbo, you know, she's kind of creepy Santana, you should-"
And that's when my dear friend Celeste finally stopped talking, because my hand was around her throat, cutting off her air supply. I hoped she didn't need that.
"I fucking warned you to keep your fugly mouth shut," I hissed, squeezing my fingers tighter. She reached up to grab my arm, to push it away, but I reached up and oh-so-carefully grabbed her head and twisted, listening to the very satisfying sound of her neck breaking- the sickening crack of her vertebrae, ah, how lovely.
And her screams.
"You're crazy! You're fucking crazy!"
I nodded, grinning. "Yep."
I didn't kill her- unfortunate, I know- but the bitch wouldn't be doing much of anything except physical therapy for the next six months.
I smiled warmly down at Celeste, who was writhing on the floor of the store, holding her neck and crying- screaming, really. "You know, next time you should really learn to follow some fucking advice when it's given to you. But honestly, you should be grateful- now you'll have plenty of time to sit around and think about minding your own fucking business instead of opening that disgusting, foul-smelling hole in your face, because you'll definitely be spending the next few weeks being a real-life version of a bobble-head doll." I lifted my shoulders in a slight shrug, hummed, and gave her a little wave. "Gotta go, but it was nice seeing you," I smirked.
I looked up, catching the eyes of the cashier, who was staring at me in shock, holding the phone to her ear- probably talking to mall security. I gave her a bigger, nonchalant shrug and spun on my heel.
It was time to leave.
I was still walking with a spring in my step when I got outside and Porcelain confronted me.
"Jesus Christ, Snix," he hissed, sidling up next to me and falling into step as we walked to the small alcove that held a dumpster. It was the only place secluded enough for us to transform. "What happened to low profile?"
I shrugged. "What happened to 'I don't give a fuck'?"
"Are you done?"
Was I done? That Celeste bitch had insulted Brittany. And Brittany was mine, and no one insulted what was mine without consequence. And speaking of which, Brittany had been showing too much attention to that fucking twit version of me- it was time she spent some time with the hotter, more badass, upgraded version.
"Yeah," I answered. I focused on my kite. It was time to go home to reclaim Brittany from that sissy.
It was time to take back what was mine.
SANTANA
/
I sighed against Brittany's shoulder, admiring her painted toes from where we were lying on our bed. She had somehow managed to keep the paint through her transformation- like, I don't even know how. She was pretty amazing and talented, and I was always so impressed with her transformations; she always looked so beautiful and flawless, and I just couldn't believe how someone so brave and wonderful and beautiful managed to end up with me, and-
I was suddenly plagued by a horrible thought. What if she liked the other me better? I mean, she had spent most of her time with me, but that's because Snix had been so off-putting, and I'd been needy and clingy, and what if Brittany got tired of it? What if she realized I was a coward, just like everyone else had? What if she wanted someone as brave as her? She would leave me, and then I would be alone, and I just couldn't be alone, I'd rather Snix just kill me-
I clutched Brittany tighter and she pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I bit my lip.
"Do you-" I started, but my voice came out wobbly, so I cleared my throat. "Do you like Snix better than me?"
Brittany was silent for a moment, and I chewed my lip nervously, wondering what that silence meant. She did, didn't she? She liked Snix better, of course she did. She needed someone strong and brave, not pathetic like me, not clingy, and-
"Santana, I like you. Both of you make up who you are, and-"
"Brittany, I'm home!" Snix announced as she burst through the door to the bedroom. Her eyes fell to me and I instantly froze in my spot against Brittany. "You," she barked, snapping her fingers at me. She pointed to the floor. "Off. Now."
I scrambled to comply, because I really didn't want to fight Snix. She would destroy me, and then I would be dead, and I didn't want to die. The floor wasn't so bad.
"Snix, be nice to your other self," Brittany chided, sitting up and giving Snix a disapproving look. She glanced at me, apologetic, and I tried to return her smile-
"Oh, Brittany," Snix laughed, openly leering at Brittany. I squirmed. I didn't like her tone, or how she was looking at Brittany like she was a possession. Brittany should be treasured, you know? "You won't be needing that pathetic side of me anymore. I can see the appeal in keeping two of me around, but don't worry- I will more than satisfy you."
Brittany blushed brightly and I felt my stomach turning cold, my eyes dropping to the floor. I couldn't think about Brittany being with anyone else, even if that someone was technically still me- as weird as it sounded, would that even be cheating, or-
"No, Snix, I like Santana, and I wish you were nicer to her," Brittany said firmly, and I raised my gaze back up to where Brittany had her head turned, avoiding Snix's aggressive kiss, and my heart thudded at Brittany's loyalty; she liked me, she wanted me-
"Oh, fine," Snix huffed. She looked at me, forced a polite smile. "Santana, you are a- beautiful- person."
I beamed. "Thanks, Snix." Compliments made me feel really nice, I needed to remember to give them out more-
Snix rolled her eyes and turned back to Brittany, and my stomach plummeted again at how fake Snix was. I shifted uncomfortably on the floor as I watched Snix kiss and suck roughly at Brittany's neck, her hands groping Brittany's body. Brittany flinched and tried not to respond, but her hips rolled up into Snix's, and it was so awkward watching them, and it made me sad. Did I really think of Brittany like that? Like she was just a sexual object for me to get off on? I had always thought I was so careful about Brittany's feelings, but apparently, watching Snix completely disregard Brittany's emotions in favor of physical pleasure proved that I at least had the capacity to ignore them. It was heartbreaking. I couldn't watch.
"Snix-" I heard Brittany protest. There was a rustle of fabric. "This is weird," Brittany breathed.
"Is it because Wuss-tana is in the room?" Snix asked, and I swallowed, suddenly afraid. "I'll make her leave-"
"No- please-" Brittany pleaded. "Just- can we wait until you're yourself again?"
Snix sighed with irritation and I raised my gaze cautiously as she shifted and sat up. "I'm not going back to what I was," Snix snapped. "So you'd better get used to this. And I have needs, Brittany- so you'd better start fulfilling them, or I'll find someone who will." She stood up and moved towards the door, pausing to kick my leg angrily on the way out.
I rolled away from her and she slammed the door on her exit. I rubbed my leg and glanced up at Brittany, who was biting her lip, looking as sad as I felt. I suddenly wondered what it must be like for her- what if I was in her place, and had to witness Brittany split in two? Would her halves be as drastic as mine? Would she just be all Andalite and all human? I couldn't imagine Brittany having a Snix inside of her, a dark side struggling to be released. I shook my head and felt tears coming again. I hated feeling so insecure and unsure of myself, I hated Snix, and I hated the fact that I was such a crybaby.
Brittany slid down to the floor and wrapped me up in her arms. She hushed me, stroked my hair, cradled me against her.
When she kissed my temple, I felt a little better.
SNIXXX
/
"I knew you'd need my help eventually," I bragged to Grouper Face as we sat around the usual meeting room. He and the others had come back fruitless, because let's face it- I wasn't on the mission, so of course it failed.
"We didn't find anything on the Vermithrax," Trouty Mouth admitted, ignoring my comment. "But we did figure out how to destroy the Community Center."
"We're going to blow it up," Stubbles confirmed, shooting Brittany a glance. What the fuck?
"Don't fucking look at her," I told Stubbles. "Don't you fucking dare."
Stubbles blinked at me, appalled, but Brittany was chiming in, "Yes. Please don't."
I grinned. She had obviously learned her lesson. Good girl.
"Wait- you rejected my suggestion to set a fire, and instead opted for something more dangerous? You have got to be kidding me," Quinn said, shaking her head in disbelief.
"We can set a bomb and then exit the building, it's not the same as being trapped inside," Fishlips explained.
"We could throw a firebomb, too," Quinn countered.
"What are you, an arsonist now?" Lady Gay laughed.
"We don't want the whole city on fire, Quinn," Wheezy said with a grin.
Quinn smirked and offered them a shrug, and I smiled at her. I liked Quinn's thought process. Maybe there were some things about Quinn that I had never noticed before, but they were definitely becoming more appealing to me.
"Okay, so where do we get a bomb?" 'Brows asked. I rolled my eyes.
"More like, how do we make one," Trouty said with a big-lipped grin.
"There's about a million YouTube videos out there on how to make bombs," Stubbles explained. "So I'm going to watch a few, get a list of materials to Sugar, and then we'll be in business. Simple."
"Somehow this all seems too easy," Lady Gay said with a shake of his head.
"Well, we still don't know what to do about Santana," Mercedes pointed out.
"Yeah, about that," Trouty started hesitantly. He looked at Brittany. "I need you down there, we can't access the computers."
"Sam," Brittany said seriously, and Trouty shook his head.
"I know- that's why Santana is going to come with us this time."
"What?!" I raged. No way was that weakling going on the mission while I sat at home with Team Gay again! No fucking way!
"What?" Wuss-tana asked, her voice small and puny like her. "No." She shook her head back and forth, quickly, like a fucking pathetic loser. "No, no, no."
"San," Brittany said gently, reaching out to stroke my puss twin's shoulder. I rolled my eyes.
"I don't want to go back down there," Wuss-tana whimpered. "Please, please don't make me." She started crying, and I literally could not hold back my eye roll if I tried. Brittany attempted to soothe the whiney bitch, but there was no soothing that pitiful mess of a person.
I felt angrier the longer I watched. Trouty really wanted to bring that shivering, fainthearted girl over all of the awesome that I was? I growled. "Take me, Sam!" I demanded. "I'll go down there! I'll destroy every last-"
"No, Snix," Trouty said calmly, shaking his head. "You're too unpredictable. I can't count on you down there."
"You can't count on that sniveling coward," I sneered, stabbing my finger at my weaker half, who was still crying.
"At least she isn't crazy," Stubbles muttered.
"Do you want to die, cripple?" I snapped. I could make his wish come true, if that's what it was.
Stubbles glared at me. "I'm not crippled anymore."
"That's about to change if you open your fucking mouth one more time."
Stubbles made the right decision, and it was silent for a minute, except for the sobs of my puss twin, who I was starting to loathe the existence of. I looked over at her, watching as Brittany cupped her cheek and whispered something reassuringly to her. She gave her a gentle kiss, and I finally fucking lost it. What the fuck? Brittany wouldn't even kiss me, but she'll kiss that idiotic spineless twit?
I stood, fuming, and suddenly wondered- why did everyone look at me like I was the problem? Why did they choose Wuss-tana's side every time? Did I need to break out in pathetic tears and whine and snivel to earn their love? Did I even care about their love? I just didn't fucking get it. I was so much stronger, so much tougher, so much better than that other part of me. They should've been worshipping the ground I walked on, not shunning me for it. But instead I was being left out of missions, I was being blue-balled by Brittany, and the only one who seemed to treat me nicely was Quinn-
I smiled at Quinn, who returned it. She just got me. Maybe I could get her to stay home from the mission. It'd be the only way I would stay put, too.
SANTANA
/
We sat around making plans for a little bit, but I couldn't focus or concentrate on anything other than what Sam had said. He was bringing me back down to the lab! That meant I had to transform again, and I really didn't want to do that- I really hoped it wasn't too late to tell Sam that I wanted to become Sugar's assistant, because I definitely didn't want to go on the mission, I mean, it was scary enough the first time- I had almost died- and I didn't want to run the risk of dying again, I didn't want to die-
"Easy, San," Brittany murmured, looking down at me. I had my head resting in her lap, and she was stroking my hair, and I felt a lot safer in her arms like this, but I guess she must have felt my squirming- I had a tendency to fidget when I was anxious, and I was definitely anxious about the mission, I mean, why couldn't Sam just take Snix? She wanted to go.
I chewed my lip nervously.
Sugar entered the room after a few moments of heated discussion, waving a packet of papers in her hand. Her pet sugar glider was riding on her shoulder, and I really wanted to pet it. Sugar tossed the packet down on the coffee table and smirked. "Don't say I never gave you anything."
"What's this?" Blaine asked, picking up the papers and looking at them.
Sugar rolled her eyes. "It's the information on the Vermithrax that you idiots couldn't find." She paused. "Sorry, Asperger's."
"How did you get this?" Sam demanded, snatching the papers out of Blaine's hand and scanning them himself.
Sugar shrugged. "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff when you're as rich as I am."
Mercedes blinked. "What does that even mean?"
Sugar smirked. "Terri got it for me."
"Terri?" Kurt demanded. "I thought you took care of her."
Sugar laughed, as if we were simple-minded children that amused her. Maybe we were. There was an awful lot of stuff we didn't know about the Yeerks, or about Sugar and her connections. "Oh- we took care of her Yeerk. The host is perfectly fine."
"Wait- how did you get the Yeerk out of her head?" Quinn asked.
Sugar rolled her eyes. "With the Yeerkbane of course."
Brittany's head snapped up. "You have one?!"
"Yeah, duh. How else would we take care of traitors?"
"Hold up, what's a Yeerkbane?" Mercedes asked.
"It's a creature that eats Yeerks by attaching its mouth to the side of the host's head and then sucking the Yeerk out," Brittany explained. I shivered. That sounded awful! We were all quiet for a moment, grimacing and cringing.
Arty cleared his throat. "So you gave Terri a new Yeerk?"
Sugar put on her best patient smile and then burst into a dramatic speech. "Of course. We have a tank full of loyal followers- been snatching them off the battlefields, you see. My spy on the inside, Joe- well, he's been scoping out those Yeerks unsatisfied with their lives and the war- the Yeerks that are tired of the political corruption and the injustice of it all- the Yeerks looking for better, more fulfilling lives. He offers for them to join our side, but they can't just leave, you know? So they get their host bodies killed in battle with you, they bail and we scoop them. That way Visser Seven thinks they're dead, and no one is the wiser. Pretty brilliant, huh?"
Quinn shook her head incredulously. "Yeah, actually. Wow."
"It's a lot more complicated than I made it sound, but really, who has time to listen to all that? I just let Lauren handle it. You know, we could use more hosts. If any of your parents…"
"No," Kurt snapped immediately.
Sugar lifts her hand to calm him. "Relax, it was just a suggestion."
"An awful one," Kurt hisses.
Sugar shrugged. "Whatever. I just figured maybe they'd like to contribute to this war instead of sitting around bored out of their minds. The outcome affects them, too." She paused to let that sink in, and I nuzzled my cheek further against Brittany's thigh. I didn't like all of this heavy thinking, it was depressing. "Well, anyway," Sugar continued, her tone considerably brighter, "there's the info you need. I have some big news, too, but it hasn't actually been confirmed yet. I'll have to talk to Brenda and make sure that it's legit before I bother to tell you guys."
"Well that was just useless, then," Snix snarled, and I nearly jumped in surprise- I had forgotten she was in the room, she'd been so unusually quiet.
"Isn't she fixed yet?" Sugar asked, reaching up to pet her marsupial.
Mercedes shook her head. "That's why we needed the information."
"Right. Well. I've gotta go," Sugar said with a flourish of her hand. "Only so much bitch I can handle, you know?"
"Of course," Quinn said dryly, and I didn't miss the way Snix smiled at her. I cringed. Did Snix suddenly have a thing for Quinn? I shook my head, confused. If Snix had a thing for Quinn, that meant the old me had had feelings somewhere deep down for her, right? No, that can't be right. Snix didn't do feelings. I'm pretty sure I was the one who got stuck with the capacity for those. Which meant that Snix's attraction to Quinn was purely on the physical level. If she was even looking at Quinn like I thought she was-
And yeah, she totally was, ugh. Quinn shook her head at Snix's obvious leering, and I hoped Brittany didn't see, because I didn't want Brittany to reach any conclusions. It was just too complicated to explain. I glanced at Brittany, who was perusing the packet Sugar had left, and heaved a silent sigh of relief.
Suddenly, Brittany sat up. "This is it," she said, her voice high and excited. "I think I've figured out what caused the split."
"Well, spill it," Blaine encouraged.
"Yes, we're all just dying to know so that it never happens again," Kurt added.
"Yeah, really- I can't imagine two Kurts," Quinn teased, and Snix gave her another grin. It made me uneasy. Like, in a way, I was glad, because that meant I could probably have Brittany to myself. But then it also kind of made me wonder if it was cheating, in a way. I hadn't figured that out yet. This whole being split in two thing was really confusing, and-
"'The specimen from Sector 23, RG-258-15'- that's the Vermithrax," Brittany explained.
"Yes, obviously," Snix said with a roll of her eyes. I glared at her.
"Well, it 'has uncharted regenerative capabilities,'" Brittany said, ignoring Snix's jibe. She paused. "Uncharted regenerative capabilities," she repeated. "It can regenerate!"
"What does that mean?" Mercedes asked.
"It means it can heal itself," Arty said. "Like- a starfish. If you chop off its limb, it can grow a new one, and sometimes even a whole new starfish."
"So, somehow, when Santana got cut in half, the regeneration ability of the Vermithrax must've kicked in, and caused her to regenerate into a whole new person? And then that new person transformed back, resulting in two Santanas?" Quinn asked. She looked amazed. I felt pretty amazed, too.
"It seems so," Brittany confirmed with a nod.
"That's great, but how do we fix it?" Kurt asked.
"I'm not entirely sure, but I have a few theories," Brittany said. "Now that I know what caused the split, I think I might be able to create something that can mimic the high output of energy expelled during the transforming process in order to meld the two halves back into a singular unit."
"So… you're basically going to deliver a shock to the two Santanas and hope that they merge?" Arty asked. I bit my lip at the word shock. I definitely didn't like the thought of that at all.
Brittany nodded. "More or less, though there are some other more complicated aspects to it."
"Well, I'm game. The worst that can happen is that they both die, right?" Kurt said.
"Not funny," Quinn said sourly, frowning at Kurt.
"I'm not trying to be. We can't deal with either of these Santanas. One's a violent psychopath, and the other- no offense- is a whimpering pussy." I tried not to be offended at Kurt's words, but- they still stung. I bit my lip.
"Let's leave Brittany to that, then. We have our work cut out for us building this bomb," Sam said. He looked at me. "Looks like you don't have to go back down to the lab with us, after all."
I breathed a sigh of relief, but only a small one. I still hadn't forgotten the word shock.
SNIXXX
/
"I just don't get it, Q," I complained, sitting on her bed. It was way later in the day, after our lame meeting, and Sam and the others had gone to take care of bombing the ever-loving fuck out of the Community Center. I was still fuming inside at the fact that I didn't get to go, but at least I had Quinn to keep me company. "Why does everyone like her better?"
Quinn shrugged. "I guess they just don't really know how to handle you, Snix. You're pretty aggressive and it's really intimidating to them. Keep in mind that before all of this Transformers stuff happened, you and I were the hot bitches in charge, ruling the school- and they were all the pathetic losers worshipping the ground we walked on." I nodded, grinning wryly. I remembered those days- and I really missed them. I mean, don't get me wrong- I wouldn't give up the power I had now, or the involvement I had in fighting this war, because it was such an adrenaline rush, like, seriously, nothing could compare- but I vaguely wondered what life would be like if it had stayed just me and Quinn, ruling the school together.
It seemed kind of awesome.
And boring.
And I guess technically I wouldn't even have existed on my own, if I'd never become a Transformer- I'd still be a part of that wimpy girl I despised.
Ugh. What a relief.
"Now that all of this weird stuff has happened, it's a little hard for them to deal with so much awesome," Quinn continued. "And your twin, well. She's kind of passive, less abrasive. Nicer."
"But even when I was myself, I was never nice, so they should be used to me being a bitch by now," I grumbled, crossing my arms.
Quinn chuckled. "True. But now there's literally nothing holding back your insults. It's kind of glorious."
I smiled at her. "Well, at least you get me."
"Of course," she nodded. "You're my best friend."
I let my smile turn mischievous. Time to make my move. "You know, you could be more than that," I suggested, sliding closer to her on the bed. Quinn raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"Thanks, but- I'm really not that into that," Quinn said with a smirk, and I sat, stunned. Did Quinn just reject me?
"Whatever," I snapped, rolling my eyes. The rejection stung. A lot. Damn. From Quinn, though? "I just thought you understood me."
Quinn gave me a surprised look. "I do understand you, I just-"
I stood up. "Whatever," I repeated, harsher. I didn't need her, anyways. I didn't need anyone. "Like I'd be into you, anyways."
Quinn blinked, looking a cross between hurt and shocked, but I mean, who cares? She was pathetic anyways. I strode defiantly over to her door, yanked it open and then left. She called after me, but fuck that, I didn't have time for people who didn't appreciate me or do what I wanted. And I was suddenly realizing that that meant I didn't have time for any of these people. They obviously didn't appreciate my awesome qualities, which meant one thing- it was time to find a new group of people to hang with.
As I reached my door, I thought hard. Was there anyone I was going to miss?
Well, Puck- but he was Visser Seven, so it's not like I could take him with me.
I frowned. And Brittany. I'd probably miss her, too. Probably.
But, whatever- she made her choice! She chose the twit. And I was no one's second best. I wasn't side action. I was the main squeeze, or I was nothing.
I steeled myself and pushed the door of my room open, then stormed inside.
The lesser half was lying back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I guess she was, I dunno, thinking or something? I rolled my eyes. This bitch was so fucking lame.
Her eyes snapped to me when I came in, and I smirked, taking immense pleasure as they widened in fear and she scrambled to sit up.
"H-hey," she said timidly.
I snapped my fingers and pointed at the floor, raising an eyebrow. Bitch didn't even deserve a greeting- it would just be a waste of time and words. Her face fell, and she reluctantly crawled off the bed and sat on the floor. I laughed, then moved to the closet, feeling her eyes following my every move.
"You're not even going to sit on the bed?" She asked, sounding slightly confused that I made her get off of it for no reason.
I shrugged, then turned around to deliver my insult while looking straight at her. "I just didn't want you on it. You'd contaminate it with your pathetic loser germs."
She bit her lip and averted her eyes. "Why do you have to be so mean?"
"Why do you have to be so mean," I repeated, mocking her.
The twit shook her head slowly, then looked up at me. She took a deep breath, as if gathering the courage to say something, and I waited. After a moment, she said, "I can't believe you were ever a part of me."
I snorted. That's what she wanted to say? I smirked at her. "I feel the same way, pansy." She was silent, but it was too late. I was already irritated- at her presence, at her existence, at her face, really. Somehow it looked so much more pathetic on her- it was insulting. "I can't believe a skinny, scrimpy, cowardly mouse like you was ever even a fraction of a powerful, hot, flawless bitch like me."
"You have the same body as me-"
"Except you're pathetic," I told her, lowering my voice to a dangerous register, and bending forward so that I was closer to her face, towering over her. She scooted away until her back hit the edge of the bed. She was trapped. I smiled inside. Her eyes were already beginning to water, and it felt so good cutting her down, so I continued. "You're weak, you're ugly, and no one even notices you without me. Do you think your so-called friends out there would like you if they didn't have me to compare you to? The only reason they even know you're alive is because I'm so intimidating and awesome. You? You're forgettable. You're undesirable. You're invisible."
My twin bit her lip and glared at me, but I could see the tears in her eyes. "Stop," she whispered. Was that supposed to be intimidating? She was even worse than I thought!
I shook my head slowly. "Can't handle a few truth bombs, huh? Of course not. Why don't you just go kill yourself, and save me the trouble. The others like you better, but if you weren't around they wouldn't have a choice. They'd come to their senses." I paused. That was a great idea! I didn't need to leave and find new friends- I just needed to get rid of her. I nodded, "Yeah. Just kill yourself. I'll help you do it if you want."
"No," she whimpered. Then, in a stronger voice, she said, "No, I won't." She clenched the hem of her shirt nervously, but kept her voice steady and, surprisingly, angry as she said, "You're such a bitch. How could Brittany- or anyone- love you when you're so unpleasant to be around?" She raised her voice more and I was shocked when she continued. "Do you think you're worthy of her? Or anyone?"
I shrugged, growing angry myself. "Once you're dead it won't matter-"
"Well, I w-won't let you treat Brittany the way you have been." I watched her throat bob as she swallowed.
"And what do you think you're going to do about it? You wouldn't last a second against me!" I laughed and flicked her ear to prove a point. She flinched, but didn't lower her eyes.
"She won't fall into your arms if I'm gone- you've pushed her away, pushed everyone away-"
"Who cares? I don't need anyone. I'm flawless-"
"And alone. And lonely."
I swallowed, feeling my throat constricting. She was- right, but why was this so hard to take? "Well you're a coward," I shot back lamely.
"I can be brave for my friends," Wuss-tana said steadily. "But I don't think you can stop being awful."
I glared at her. "So what do you want, then? You want me to be the one to kill myself? I'm supposed to just die? I'm supposed to just give up who I am?"
"No- you're supposed to let me balance you out."
"That's even more pathetic. I think I'd rather just kill myself," I snapped. What was she even saying? She wanted us to merge again? She wanted me to go back to being who I was- with her?
Admittedly- and if you tell anyone this, I'll fucking kill you- there aren't a lot of things I'm scared of, but I'm scared of that. I mean, how do you go from being a separate living, breathing person, to being… nothing? I would lose who I was, wouldn't I? I mean, I would die, in a way. But I wouldn't. It was confusing, and scary, and I would be gaining all of her qualities again. I'd be submitting myself to weakness, to cowardice, to vulnerability, to- to I didn't even know what, because I didn't really know my twin all that well. My memories of who I was before I existed on my own were vague. (Not that I'd spent much time thinking about it, I wasn't a loser.) I knew that my twin had been a part of me- a fucking lame part, but a part, still- I just didn't want to accept how big of a part she really was. She was half. Half. Half of me had been a whining, crying, pathetic mess, and the other half of me had been flawless, and, well, obviously harsh- but understandingly so, because people just need to be told when they suck, you know?
It was silent for a moment, and then the door opened again, and Brittany walked in. Her eyes fell to me, and then to Wuss-tana cowering on the floor, and she immediately froze.
"Shit- San-" Her gaze fell accusingly to me, and I couldn't actually believe her eyes could hurt me so much. "Snix: what did you do?" she demanded.
"Me?" I raged. "Why the fuck do you think I did something?" I shook my head bitterly. My stupid twin was right. Brittany did hate me. She wanted nothing to do with me. Maybe I was the problem. I looked at Brittany's face, which had softened considerably, and tried to swallow- it was hard, because my throat was constricting for some stupid reason. "You know what? I- I've had it. I'm leaving-"
"No!" the stupid loser said sharply from the floor. She looked fearful, desperate. "Please- I- I need you. You can't leave."
"You do need me," I told her resentfully. "But I don't need you."
"Yes, you do," Brittany said quietly. She reached to put her hand on me but I pulled violently out of her grasp.
"Don't," I snapped. "It doesn't matter. You like her better, anyway-"
"I love all of you," Brittany said, her blue eyes bright with passion. Sounds lame, I know, but it's really the only way I could describe them. "Even the bad parts," she continued. She looked at Wuss-tana and took her hand. Then she reached for mine, and I tentatively let her hold it. "I love that you're weak and fragile sometimes, and reckless and brave other times. I love that you're mean and I love that you're sensitive. I love every part of you- both of you- and- and I just want you back," Brittany finished, her voice cracking at the end, and I felt my heart clench just slightly. What the fuck was this feeling? Was I having a heart attack or something?
I took a deep breath, shaking my head, trying to clear it. Brittany loved me. Even after how I'd treated her, even after everything I'd said to my other half, and to our friends, she just wanted me back. She could kill me easily and just keep the weak, sensitive half- but she wanted us back together again, wanted us whole.
I felt gratitude, and some other emotion that I couldn't quite name. I looked at Santana, who had stood up and was holding Brittany's hand with both of hers like it was her lifeline. She looked back at me hopefully, and I sighed.
"Okay," I consented, feeling sadness wash through me. Had I just agreed to die?
Brittany smiled, and Santana did, too, and I averted my eyes for a moment before I looked back up at Brittany. "But- before I do this," I started slowly. I took a step closer to Brittany. I swallowed, feeling stupid, feeling too many things, feeling. What the fuck were these feelings? I was so depressed all of a sudden. Like I had just agreed to sacrifice myself on some sort of suicide mission. And maybe I had. I couldn't be sure that I was going to still be me. I was going to be her, too, and I just- I needed to-
I reached up, cupping Brittany's face gently, getting lost in her eyes, her perfect blue eyes. She really was the most beautiful fucking girl. I licked my lips, tugged her to me, and kissed her.
She hesitated only a brief moment before she returned the kiss, letting go of Santana's hand to wrap her arms around my neck, and I forced myself to be gentle and tender as I let my tongue find hers. We kissed for a long moment, and I didn't care if it was awkward for Santana to watch.
Because I knew that Brittany needed me to reunite with Santana- let's face it, that girl was a whimpering scaredy-cat without me. And Brittanysaid she loved me, regardless of how mean and cold I was…
Still, I couldn't help but wonder- did she, really?
Or did she just need my bravery?
Does anyone ever really love the darkest parts of someone?
SANTANA
/
I let go of Snix's hand from where I'd been holding it in a handshake, and took a deep breath.
I was so, so scared.
Brittany had reassured us- okay, me- at least a billion times that- well, yeah, it was going to hurt like a bitch, but that it would probably result in Snix and I merging back together.
Probably.
"It's a 98.32675 percent success rate," Brittany had said with a firm nod.
I didn't feel so good about that other 1.67325 percent. But what choice did I have?
The others had just returned from the mission, and I guess it had gone pretty well, I mean, I was mostly distracted because like, honestly, I was about to face my potential total death, and if not my total death than at least a partial death because I was going to merge with someone who despised me and loathed my existence and become part of the person while that person simultaneously became part of me-
I tried not to think about it.
But it was really hard, considering Brittany had attached a very thin metal wire to my chest, right above my heart.
She had told me and Snix to acquire each other, which we'd done by shaking hands. The others had gathered around and already said their good-byes and good lucks- just in case we didn't make it. Reassuring, right? I swallowed.
Okay, don't think about it.
"Santana," Brittany said softly. I snapped my eyes to her, and she reached out and gently stroked her thumb down my cheek. It made me feel a little better, but I was still panicking inside. "It'll be okay," she said softly. She leaned forward and kissed my lips briefly, then rested her forehead against mine. "I love you," she whispered. "I'll see you soon."
I nodded, gulping.
Don't think about it.
Once she double-checked my wire, she went over to Snix and kissed her, whispering something to her, too. I guess it was probably what she told me, I don't know. I was too busy thinking about-
Don't think about it!
"Okay, I'm going to count to three, and then I'm going to flip the switch, and I want you to think about transforming into the other person," Brittany said like it was no big deal. Like we weren't about to maybe die. "Join hands again."
I reached forward and took Snix's hand, and she squeezed mine briefly. I offered her a small smile.
"See you on the other side, I guess?" I said.
She nodded, her eyes sad. "I guess."
I took a deep breath.
"One…"
"Focus," Quinn urged from nearby. "I'll help talk you through it."
"Two…"
I felt my hand squeezing Snix's harder. My arm was trembling.
"Keep it together," Snix growled.
I nodded, and-
"Three."
"Aaaagh!" I cried. Oh, my God! I was on fire! Like, all of my nerves were on fire, and I couldn't even move, I was paralyzed, I was dying-
"Transform!" Quinn said firmly. "Focus! Think about the change."
I managed to squeeze my eyes shut, and I tried to do what Quinn said, but it was so painful-
"Think about your eyes, your hair," Quinn said. Her voice was the only thing making me hold on to consciousness. White-hot electricity flowed through my limbs, and my grip on Snix's hand was deathly tight. I focused hard and felt my hand literally melting-
I trembled. I thought about my lips. I thought about my brown eyes. I thought about my smooth, tan skin, and my flat stomach, and my average-sized boobs, and my thighs, and-
And-
And-
"…Santana?"
I was on my hands and knees, shaking. Brittany crouched down in front of me, stroking some hair off my face- hesitant, cautious, but reassuring, loving. Her touch kept me together. She kept me together.
I swallowed, my thoughts scattered. Everywhere. I was-
Alive.
I looked up, trying to focus, catching her eyes. Her blue, sparkling eyes.
She cupped my face and leaned her forehead against mine, her eyes so close, so loving. I shook my head slightly. Loving?
Brittany had seen parts of me that I had never wanted her to see. And those parts weren't gone- they were just back inside me, they were just hidden again, unless I chose to release them. I had been exposed, completely. All of my insecurities, the parts of myself that I was ashamed of, the dark parts- she had seen them, had felt them, had been hurt by them. I swallowed back tears.
Could Brittany still love me- knowing what she knew about me?
Could anyone?
Okay, so up until now my chapter 9s have been from Guest POVs, and I had a special Guest POV chapter planned, but since this storyline had to be split into 2 parts, it threw off the pattern, lmao. Although I guess Snixxx counts as a guest POV?
Anyways, you guys will still get another Guest POV next chapter... wonder who it could be? ;)
Well, review if you have any thoughts or just want to tell me that you hated this storyline. It was based off of Animorphs #32, in which Rachel morphed a starfish, but I couldn't for the life of me think of any reason or place where Santana would morph a starfish, and to be honest, there's not many animals on Earth that have regenerative capabilites like starfish do, except for like amoebas or hydras that are microscopic and live in the ocean. Which is why I had to create the Vermithrax, lmao. Not sure yet if I'll have Santana return to that form, ever- it was kind of a traumatizing experience, eh?
Thanks for reading! Might not be on time next week, but who knows. I might find time to write this weekend.
See you soon though!
