A/N: Alas, here is the last chapter I'm uploading for tonight. I swear I'll write more and update soon. Man, I've been writing this story a long time. Surprisingly, I've become rather fond of it. I'm not sure why... I've just come to really love it. I'll be sad when it's over. But I promise you, that's a pretty long ways off(:
Chapter Twenty-Nine: More Promises
Lionpaw shakily lifted his head, and looked around wildly. He felt exhausted, and everything hurt. He groaned, and flinched, as he slowly tried to stand up.
"Lionpaw, stop."
The gentle voice of Amberpaw soothed him, as she medicine-lion apprentice gently eased him back down. Her eyes glimmered in the darkness, and as Lionpaw began to wake up and snap into his surroundings, he remembered everything. He gasped and let out a snarl.
"Longfang!"
Amberpaw's voice quivered. "Lionpaw, lay down. You're safe, and in the camp. Longfang is gone. You... you told the Clan that he killed Firerunner."
Lionpaw took deep breaths. Because he did. Because he did. His mind was spinning as he remembered, piece by piece, the story Pebbleheart had told him, what really happened the night of Firerunner's death. But there was more to the story than everyone thought. Pebbleheart claimed to have been Firerunner's lover.
Was it true? Or was her memory distorted, her clouded mind creating memories, to soften to real, brutal truth of what happened?
"I have to- talk to Snowstar- need- help-"
Amberpaw put a paw on her brother's shoulder, her tail waving warily back and forth. "Lionpaw," she said quietly. "Please, you must calm down.
You're hurt, and sick. The Clan is in chaos."
Lionpaw ducked his head, sucking in a deep, cold breath of air. It was still morning. So very much had happened... how could it still only be morning? "Amberpaw. Get Snowstar. I have to tell him what happened."
Amberpaw shook her head. "Not until you tell me what's going on."
Lionpaw's eyes widened. "Amberpaw..."
She put her face near his, eyes unsettled yet serious. "I serve StarClan, Lionpaw, and my work is full of secrets and promises. I can handle what's going on."
For the first time since hearing Pebbleheart's story, Lionpaw wavered, considering. He knew he could trust Amberpaw, and that, if he told her the truth to that night- the whole truth- she would never breath a word. And yet... it felt wrong. It wasn't his story to tell.
But she was Pebbleheart's apprentice. She deserved to know; she had to know the truth.
"Amberpaw," he said quietly, slowly sitting up and looking around. In the darkness of the medicine-lion den, there was no one to over-hear them.
It was cool, and almost peaceful. Yet the storm of what was happening to LightningClan was impossible to put off. "The truth is hard to accept, and will forever change how you see things. I know I can trust you; you are the only lion I would ever tell. But... I don't want to hurt you."
Amberpaw gazed at him. They were quiet for a brief moment, and her glowing eyes said everything. "I accept the truth, Lionpaw. I live with it every day; I have to know what's wrong with my mentor. I love her, Lionpaw, like a parent, and it hurts me to know she knows something... that pains her." Her anguished voice trailed off as she shook her head, ears nervously twitching.
Lionpaw sighed, knowing he had to be quick and honest as possible. "Firerunner wasn't murdered by a DarkClan warrior, Amberpaw. He was killed by Longfang, eager to take power as deputy, and equally eager to get rid of any competition. He found Firerunner alone in the forest, but he didn't know that he was not alone in the forest; that Firerunner had gone there to meet someone."
Amberpaw's gaze was questioning for a heartbeat before realization dawned, and she trembled. "He was meeting... Pebbleheart... wasn't he?"
Lionpaw looked away. He nodded. "They... were lovers, Pebbleheart told me. It was all secret, and very well-kept. But Firerunner had snuck out to meet her, as she was waiting for him in the trees. But Longfang got there first, and pinned him down. When... when Pebbleheart revealed herself and begged him not to kill Firerunner, he realized what was going on, and was disgusted." Lionpaw paused, swaying slightly, before swallowing hard. He edited, knowing he couldn't tell his sister everything. "He killed Longfang to get back at Pebbleheart, and threatened her life if she ever told. And moons later, here we are... two fractured lovers, one dead, one forever bitter... and one killer, hiding the truth. All for power, all for love."
His hushed words sat alone in the air of the den for a moment, and Amberpaw was not looking at him. She was staring at the ground, her body frozen, as she took in this information.
"Pebbleheart... oh, Pebbleheart..." she breathed, eyes wide and glittering.
"Do you regret me telling you? Please don't be angry with her..." Lionpaw's voice trailed off.
"I could never be angry. I love her... and I forgive her," Amberpaw whispered, shaking her head.
"But it's... so much. All these moons, under Snowstar's very nose, this secret turned into a murderous secret, and no one ever knew. Firerunner's death was all wrong. Nobody knew..."
"Exactly. This whole time, Pebbleheart's lived in fear. That's why she afraid of him. Because of what he's done."
Amberpaw closed her eyes for a long moment, then looked up, meeting his gaze steadily. "Thank you for telling me these things, brother. I swear I will never breath a word to anyone. You, Pebbleheart, and I will be the only ones alive to bear the truth."
Struck by her true, bold words, Lionpaw ducked his head, full of unease suddenly. "I trust you to keep the secret... but there's something else.
Amberpaw- when I tell the Clan. When I tell Snowstar. I refuse to tell them about Firerunner and Pebbleheart."
His sister's eyes widened.
"You must understand," he pleaded. "She's suffered so much already. I can't put her at the fury of the Clan, because they would blame her, and then the memory of Firerunner would be tainted forever. Sometimes, sister... one must lie for the greater good. Some secrets should be kept. When I tell them the story, I shall tell them that Firerunner was out alone at night, when Longfang caught him and killed him out of greed for power. Pebbleheart will have nothing to do with it."
Amberpaw bowed her head. "I understand, Lionpaw... you must protect Firerunner's memory and Pebbleheart's future. It is wrong, what they did, but... but because we care for them... it must be done."
Lionpaw's shoulders sagged with the realization that he would be the root for another secret. Another heavy, dark secret to be kept forever; another generation of lies and closed mouths. It was hard, but it was for both lion's sakes. He hoped StarClan would honor, and not hate, his decision to protect them. For the first time in what felt like ages, Lionpaw thought back to the dream he had last night; when Firerunner visited him. With a sudden falling feeling, Lionpaw realized that he truly did not know what happened that night: was Pebbleheart maddened by the confusion, and made up the story of her and Firerunner? Or was Firerunner only trying to save his image, and lie that he and Pebbleheart had never been mates?
"As I have learned, Amberpaw," he whispered, gazing out at the mouth of the den, where he could hear loud voices and unhappy roars, "there is no such thing as simply being good, and simply be evil. The lines are not so clear anymore.."
Amberpaw touched her nose to Lionpaw's. "Lionpaw, you are the most brave, selfless lion that has ever happened to LightningClan, and you have a great future ahead of you. You and Brightpaw are the future, and you cannot let this bring you down."
Lionpaw looked away. "Go get Snowstar. I have to talk to him," he said quietly.
Amberpaw narrowed her eyes, then sighed, and rasped her tongue over her brother's ear. He had grown quite a lot; not only physically, but in his mind, too. He was hardened and almost bitter. She wished more than anything that things had been different for all of them. This was a hard time for LightningClan.
"I'll be back in a moment," she murmured, before ducking out of the den and disappearing. Lionpaw sighed, falling back into the nest he'd been made, and closing his eyes, wondering what in StarClan he'd tell Snowstar. And what about Pebbleheart? How could he face her now?
There came voices, and suddenly Brightpaw and Frostpaw were in the den. Their eyes were wide, tails lashing.
"Lionpaw!" Brightpaw exclaimed, rushing forward and pressing himself against his best friend's fur. Lionpaw closed his eyes and purred a rusty purr, feeling brief joy to be surrounded by his friends. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been with them, just alone, and without worries. Everything seemed to be happening so fast, and he hated it.
"What's going on?" Frostpaw whispered into his ear, pressing against his fur. Lionpaw rasped a tongue across her ear, remembering their tender moments together before he'd gone to see Pebbleheart, to demand the truth of the night of Firerunner's death, before he'd fought with Longfang.
"Pebbleheart has told me the truth. Longfang killed Firerunner, and it's time everyone knows," he said, voice strong as he gazed between his friends; one with striped fur, one with pale white fur, they both gazed at him, expressions strangled.
"So it's true," Frostpaw whispered, trembling. "Longfang... our deputy... is the murderer."
"I can't believe it. Lionpaw. All these moons... are you sure this is the truth?" Brightpaw murmured.
Lionpaw sat up, and stared directly into his friend's eyes, knowing this moment was critical. If he best friends did not believe him, there was no hope that the Clan would. Everyone had to understand... but there was one thing Lionpaw knew he would always keep to himself: his dream. Whether Firerunner was honest or not, he knew better than to plant doubt.
"The truth is hard to accept, but to protect the Clan from more murders, you must believe me. Longfang is a killer. He is the reason Firerunner is dead."
Frostpaw looked over at Brightpaw, and shakily, she nodded first. "I... I believe you, Lionpaw," she whispered.
Brightpaw hesitated, then nodded as well, filling Lionpaw's chest with relief. "I believe you, too. I know you; you're my best friend, Lionpaw. You would never lie."
Sudden bittersweet joy piercing his heart, Lionpaw leaned forward and touched his muzzle to both of their cheeks, heart pounding in his chest.
"Thank you," he breathed. When he touched Frostpaw, her eyes gleamed, and she let out a soft cry, pressing herself into his neck and licking his cheek.
"I'm scared, Lionpaw," she breathed.
"I told you I'd protect you, and I intend to keep that promise," he said simply. It was a matter of fact, and he, quite flatly, would never let anything hurt her. It was unimaginable.
Brightpaw looked on through amused eyes. "Awh, come on, you two lovebirds. Cut it out, I don't want to see this." He feigned being grossed out.
Frostpaw grinned and pulled away from Lionpaw, sheepishly glancing at Brightpaw. Lionpaw grinned, too, in this moment of brief peace and happiness with the two lions he cared for most in the entire world.
"Better get used to it, mate," he chuckled.
Brightpaw rolled his eyes, whiskers flicking with amusement. Lionpaw was glad his friend seemed to approve and accept him and Frostpaw; but
Brightpaw was just that kind of lion. He was selfless, and would always think of his friend's heart's first.
"Lionpaw."
Three heads turned to see Amberpaw approaching the den, followed closely by Snowstar and Pebbleheart. Lionpaw's stomach twisted when he saw the medicine-lion, and he cleared his throat, turning to his friends. "You better go. I'll see you soon," he said in a hushed voice, nodding towards the mouth of the den. Brightpaw watched Snowstar come with apprehension in his eyes, and he nodded. Frostpaw anxiously touched her tail to Lionpaw's flank before walking over to Brightpaw, and the two left the den swiftly.
Snowstar watched them leave before entering, and staring at Lionpaw with worry and anger in his eyes. Lionpaw gazed back at his leader, his mentor, but most importantly, his father. He loved him, and trusted him with everything... except this one truth. Biting his lip, Lionpaw felt the weight of what he had to do descend on his shoulders, and he tried to shake it off. Yet the knowledge that he was keeping something from the leader troubled him.
"Snowstar," Lionpaw murmured.
Pebbleheart and Amberpaw entered the den as well. Pebbleheart never looked once at Lionpaw as she sat down, a ways off from her leader. Amberpaw, who knew the truth, did not glance at her mentor, but sat by Lionpaw, pressing against him for support.
"You claimed a terrible crime," Snowstar rumbled, eyes glittering. "You said that Firerunner was murdered, moons ago, not by DarkClan, but by my deputy, Longfang. How can you know this?"
This was the hard part. Lionpaw was determined to protect Pebbleheart, even though she might not deserve it. He'd thought about what he'd say, and finally it was time. His eyes calm and voice firm, he lied to his leader. "Last night, Snowstar, I went to speak with Pebbleheart about Longfang, and we went into the forest for privacy. You see, the night of Firerunner's murder, she was out picking herbs, and she got a glimpse of Firerunner being killed by Longfang."
At these words, Pebbleheart's head snapped up, and Snowstar's eyes widened as he turned to stare at her. "You knew Firerunner was killed by Longfang?" he asked, shocked.
Pebbleheart glanced at Lionpaw, then nodded deeply, eyes troubled. "Yes, I- I did, Snowstar."
"And you never told anyone?" he inquired, voice hinting at a snarl.
"She couldn't, sir," Lionpaw said swiftly. "As soon as she saw, she tried to run back to camp, but Longfang caught her, and threatened to murder her unless she kept it a secret. Besides, that night was confusing, and Pebbleheart didn't know what she saw. So she had no choice but to keep it a secret."
Snowstar's eyes glittered as he shook his head. "That is not acceptable. You should have still come to me, Pebbleheart. I can't believe you kept the truth all these moons." He shook his head, and she cringed, eyes bitter and lost.
"I won't ask for forgiveness," she murmured, voice shaky.
Snowstar growled, and Lionpaw quickly went on, urged on by Amberpaw's soft rasp. "She shared the truth with me, because she felt I suspected him, as well. But last night, Longfang had tracked us from camp and over-heard our words; he almost attacked, but Curlclaw and Emberfoot found us; they unknowingly saved our lives."
Snowstar listened, eyes disbelieving and sharp, yet he did not protest. Lionpaw took a shaky breath, and continued his story. "Snowstar... I don't know what you believe, but if you choose to trust me, please listen. I was visited by Firerunner in my dreams last night. The warrior says he has found the stars, and came to talk to me as soon as possible. He, too, had proof of Longfang's murder, and that Longfang made it look like a DarkClan patrol ambushed him. It was all a lie, fabricated very carefully, all for the sake of power."
Snowstar narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean, Lionpaw?"
Lionpaw hesitated. "The reason... Longfang murdered Firerunner, was not an accident, nor a petty squabble. You said yourself that you considered only them two to be the choices for the nest deputy; both of them wanted it, but Longfang was willing to do anything to get it. To eliminate the competition, and make sure he had a straight road to power."
Snowstar's eyes widened, and he snarled, claws unsheathed. "You're saying that my deputy killed Firerunner out of greed for power?"
Lionpaw bowed his head. The leader turned on Pebbleheart, who flinched, even before he spoke. "Is this true, Pebbleheart?"
The medicine-lion helplessly nodded. "Yes... the apprentice speaks truth. Longfang killed Firerunner out of greed."
A shocked, bitter silence fell over the den, and Snowstar's eyes were swirling as he looked at his son. The anger was gone, replaced by bitter disbelief and a hunger for another story, for any story, to say this one was all a joke. That it was just a nightmare they could all wake up from and soon forget.
It was far more than a nightmare.
"I believe you, Lionpaw," Snowstar said at long last. A huge weight seemed to lift itself off Lionpaw's shoulders. He sagged, nodding, as sad relief filled him. Snowstar believed him, and that was good. They were one step closer. But it was overwhelming. After all this time... after all these moons... there had been an undercurrent of lies and murder living, sleeping, fighting with them.
"Where is Longfang now?" the leader asked, trying to keep his voice calm.
"He ran away," Lionpaw murmured. "I ran after him this morning, but... he escaped. I don't know what's happened to him now."
Snowstar shook his head slowly, eyes two pits of hollow, anger shock and disbelief. "I just cannot believe this. I appointed a murderer as deputy. I am the reason Firerunner is dead. How can I be a leader after this?"
"You can't say that," Lionpaw whispered roughly, standing up and gazing at his father. For the first time in a long time, Lionpaw did not see a strong, powerful leader, but a tired, betrayed lion, who was growing older and did not have the strength to forgive.
Lionpaw looked over at Pebbleheart, and felt a sudden stab of resentment towards the lioness he'd once held his affections for. She sat there, lifeless, staring at the ground of the den. Amberpaw followed his gaze, and quietly went over to try and comfort her mentor. But there was no use. Pebbleheart might be saved from the complete anger of the Clan because of Lionpaw's lie, but it did her no good. She was lifeless, completely given in to the murder and secret that had haunted her for so long. And while her Clan and leader fell apart around her, all the guilty lioness did was sit, and do nothing to help.
"I am proud of you, Lionpaw," Snowstar said suddenly, surprising the young lion. He looked up at his mentor, his leader, and was unsure of how to respond. "You are young, and at your age, most apprentices are still immature and struggling to grow up. But you... you are a true Lion, a warrior in LightningClan. You have revealed the truth of a long secret, and I have never been prouder."
Filled with bitter joy and sadness from his father's quiet words, Lionpaw pressed himself against his father. For once, they were both letting their guards down, and being what they had always been all along: father and son.
"Stay here for the moment," Snowstar said at long last, moving away from Lionpaw and clearing his throat. "I must speak to the Clan. I think it would be best, for the moment, if you stayed here. Later, you will come and tell them your story. For now, stay with these two." He motioned his tail towards Pebbleheart and Amberpaw before turning, and leaving the den quietly. Lionpaw stared after him, devastated, and finally turned to stare at Pebbleheart.
"You blame me," she whispered, meeting his dark eyes. Lionpaw paused, trying to restrain from agreeing with her. Because it would be wrong. Amberpaw simply gazed sadly at her brother, knowing that she, too, blamed Pebbleheart, in a way.
"That's silly," Lionpaw finally managed, voice cold.
Pebbleheart shook her head. "We used to be friends. You used to think of me differently. Now what do you think of me, young Lionpaw? A traitor?A fool?"
Lionpaw looked at his paws, saying nothing.
"Please, Pebbleheart..." Amberpaw breathed.
Ignoring her apprentice, Pebbleheart launched towards Lionpaw, eyes suddenly blazing. "Why did you lie? Why did you not tell him about me and Firerunner?"
Lionpaw, as tall as her now, took a step back, tail lashing. "Because even I do not know if that is the truth, Pebbleheart. That night was confusion to its brink, and I think your memory of it is warped, twisted. So is Firerunner's, and so is Longfang's."
"But now what? You spare me out of some misplaced sense of heroism? You really think that sparing me will help? Lionpaw, I want to die. I've wanted to die ever since I saw Firerunner killed under Longfang's claws," she whispered, voice trembling as she stared earnestly at him. "I've pretended. I've acted. Yes, I'm good at those things. Easier than thinking of the past, easier than not being a coward and telling Snowstar, easier than realizing that I would have traded Firerunner's life for myself." Her voice was angry and unstable, words spilling out like blood as she spat them at Lionpaw. They were strangers now; at the end of their adventure together, estranged and guilty. Whatever feelings Lionpaw may have once felt for her were dead. He felt pity for her, and sadness of what had happened. But more than anything, anger.
"The Clan needs a medicine-lion," Lionpaw said quietly. "And you need to realize that. You cannot simply die in your guilt and memory of that night just because you want to forget this all. You have to serve your Clan."
"A Clan that I betrayed!" Pebbleheart whispered shrilly.
Lionpaw shook his head, and turned to leave the den. He couldn't face her anymore. The Clan was in chaos, there was a killer loose in the forest, and he had friends to protect. He wouldn't be like Pebbleheart; it was time to make things right.
Now THAT was intense to write. I love it though. And I feel bad for... well, just about everyone. I wonder if it'll all work out in the end? (;
