A/N WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF JECKER FLUFF. VIEWING IS NOT ADVISED FOR THOSE WITH LESTER'S DISPOSITION :P
This chapter is dedicated to Jnevadub232 for saying that Becker must look like a homeless person xxx
Disclaimer: I do not own Primeval, or Ben Mansfield, but if I did he wouldn't be out of the handcuffs anytime soon hehehehehehehhe :D
"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed harshly, desperately wanting her, but still hurting after her rejection of his affection earlier.
Steeling herself in the face of his anger, Jess ploughed forward, determined to have her answer.
"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?" she asked in a high voice.
Tired, beaten and in more pain than he had ever been in his life, Becker knew his defences were down and if she had asked him to parade naked through the ARC he most likely would. He sighed loudly.
"Probably," he told her flatly, looking straight ahead, refusing to meet her eyes.
There was a long pause as Jess shored up her own defences and gathered her courage to ask her question. In true Jess style, it all came out in a rush.
"Why now? I mean, I've made no secret of how I feel about you for the last two years and you've always ignored me, very graciously, but ignored me nonetheless. So what's changed your mind? Why did you want me when you came back?" It sounded stupid, voiced out loud like that. But she had to know that his desire for her was not just a reaction to the intense experience he had just suffered and that once everything was back to normal he wouldn't just discard her again. She didn't think her heart could take being crushed like that.
Becker sighed again, quietly and resignedly, and allowed himself one brief look at her face before turning his attention once more to the back of the headrest in front of him. Jess watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard and when he spoke his voice was low and thick with emotion. His statement was peppered with pauses as he struggled to find the right words to express himself.
"Being dead makes you reassess a few things. I went to my funeral and I realised the injustice and disservice I was doing to myself, and to you and the others, by holding you all at arms length for so long. I realised that I couldn't put my life on hold until tomorrow anymore. Because if tomorrow never comes, you would never know how glad I was that you never gave up on me. I made a promise to myself that if I ever got back to the ARC, the first thing I would do would be to tell you how it had been you, just you, that brought me out of the darkness and made meā¦feel again."
He stopped abruptly and Jess thought this was the longest speech she had ever heard him make. Becker's gaze met Abby's in the rear view mirror and the raw look in his eyes made Abby immediately switch her attention to the windscreen again, concentrating very hard on the road ahead.
There was silence in the backseat as Jess digested his uncertain yet somehow eloquent announcement of how much she meant to him. He'd barely looked at her the entire time and was now staring moodily out of the side window to his left. Feeling very small in light of his declaration, Jess reached out one shaking hand and laid it gently over his larger one that was resting open on his thigh. Becker didn't acknowledge the gesture but he didn't pull away either. Encouraged, Jess curled her fingers around his hand until the tips gently caressed his palm. Still he didn't move and Jess swallowed audibly. Wishing very much that he would turn his warm hazel eyes on her, she squeezed his hand, trying to show him in her own small way that she wanted him too. He remained staring out of the window, but she thought that he had squeezed her hand in return. She desperately hoped he understood the meaning of the gesture.
Becker felt her hand atop his and froze. This was too much if she was just going to reject him again. He felt her fingertips touch his palm and little volts of electricity zigzagged their way through his hand, up his arm and fried his brain. She squeezed and he had no option but to squeeze back. He desperately hoped that the meaning of this gesture was that she wanted him too.
They remained like that for the rest of the journey back to the ARC. Abby glanced into the rear view mirror and smiled as she saw them holding hands. Things were going to work out, she decided. She pulled into the ARC car park and as the SUV screeched to a halt, Becker ripped his hand away from Jess's and tumbled out of the car as fast as he was able. Jess looked down at her empty hand and felt the tears begin to form behind her eyes. He hadn't understood. He was still angry with her. And for all his words, he really didn't want her anymore. She sat there for a few minutes, stunned and miserable.
The door on her right opened and she automatically turned her head to see who was there. A large, calloused hand was proffered, ready to assist her exit from the car. She looked up in surprise to see Becker standing there, his head cocked to one side, an odd look on his face. Sniffing back her unshed tears, she accepted his hand and allowed him to pull her from the SUV. Standing slightly to the side so he could shut the door after her, she expected him to move back and give her room to walk past him towards the ARC entrance. But he didn't. He remained stationary and very close. She looked up at him, unable to look anywhere else, and was struck by how his body enveloped her entire line of sight. Everything she could see was all Becker. And he had the strangest, most inscrutable expression on his face as he gazed down at her, his hazel eyes reflecting the overhead lighting of the car park. He still didn't speak, he just stood there, gazing at her until she began to feel uncomfortable and claustrophobic - but in a weirdly good way. Jess felt the urge to fill the silence with something and rushed headlong into what she had wanted to tell him when she had seen him hauled away by the armed police officers all those hours before.
"I told you I loved you!" she blurted out, then stopped abruptly as Becker's head jolted with surprise and one eyebrow arched so high on his forehead it was almost in his hairline. His mouth twitched with what looked like amusement, but she couldn't be sure. She bit her lip and lowered her eyes, then tried to clarify her statement.
"You asked me what I said at the graveside. I told you I loved you." She frowned. "Well, obviously it wasn't you, since you're not dead. I guess I don't know who it was. I think I told a complete stranger that I loved them. Or maybe the coffin was empty and I just told an empty box. Anyway, I thought it was you so I hope it's the thought that counts. I tried to tell you when the police came and took you away in handcuffs. But I couldn't. Not that you didn't look good in the handcuffs -"
Her ramblings petered out as Becker decided he had heard quite enough and placed his finger across her lips, bringing her eyes back to his, and a ghost of a smile to his mouth. Removing his finger from her lips, he braced both hands on the roof of the SUV, either side of her head, and leaned forward, his eyes never leaving hers. Almost in slow motion he dipped his head down to hers, giving her plenty of time to duck under his arm or push him away. She did neither of these things, choosing instead to drop her gaze to his mouth and his bruised and bloodied but still oh so kissable lips. Lips that twitched as Becker watched her face flush and heard her breathing become rapid and shallow the closer he got. Finally, and oh so softly, his mouth touched hers and Jess uttered a tiny sound of pure pleasure as her anticipation became reality. His lips moved on hers with slightly more pressure and his tongue caressed her lower lip, short circuiting Jess's brain. She lifted her hands to his chest to steady herself and felt him move his whole body closer, almost crushing her between his muscled torso and the SUV in his need to be as close to her as possible. And Jess didn't mind one bit as she stroked her hand up his neck and into his hair. She opened her mouth with an almost inaudible sigh and pressed herself against him, making him wince and scrunch up his eyes, but the pain was worth it.
Becker's whole body couldn't get close enough to Jess. His injuries complained loudly as he crushed her against him, but he didn't care. He was kissing her and she was letting him. In fact, she was kissing him back, most definitely. There could be no ambiguity this time. The way she was pressing herself against him. The way her hand was gripping his hair, pulling his head down to hers and holding it there. And if he had heard her correctly, she had just told him she loved him. The thousands of tiny electric shocks burning their way through his skin to his aching bones made his body quiver uncontrollably.
With great effort, and breathing hard, he pulled his head back slightly and rested his forehead gently against hers, trying to calm down. "I'm in love with you, Jessica Parker," he murmured, his voice low and deep and incredibly sexy, stopping her heartbeat abruptly and bringing goosebumps to Jess's arms.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! The girly part of Jess's brain squealed hysterically and silently inside her skull. On the outside, she reached her hand up to his face, stroked his cheek gently and tugged playfully on his beard, before standing on tiptoes and placing a brief, tender kiss to his lips. He closed his eyes, enveloped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head, breathing in deeply and letting the scent of her hair make him feel giddy. Jess closed her eyes, laid her cheek on his chest and listened as his heart rate slowed to a steady thump as she embedded herself in his body. She would be quite happy to stay here forever, wrapped up safe and warm in her bed of Becker.
There was a loud cough from behind them and Becker pulled back suddenly. Jess felt disappointed and bereft at the loss of his body against hers, but Becker kept one thigh pressed hard against her hip, not ready to lose that close contact just yet. She smiled at him, placing her hand on his chest possessively.
Abby appeared to their left, waving the mobile phone in her hand.
"Sorry to interrupt guys but I have Lieutenant Carter on the phone." She paused, placed the mobile on speakerphone and addressed the caller. "Carter, I have Captain Becker here with me. Can you please repeat what you've just told me?"
There was a crackle on the line, then Carter's loud, excited voice broke through.
"Captain, we have secured Mrs Becker. She is safe and well and we're taking her home." Another pause. "Good to know you're no longer incarcerated, sir!"
Abby grinned at Becker's stunned face. His legs nearly gave out from under him and Jess grabbed his arms forcefully to steady him. Becker's mouth goldfished, at a total loss for something to say, so Abby spoke for him.
"The Captain is very pleased to hear that, Carter," she told the Lieutenant, smiling. "He'll meet you there." She switched off the phone and inclined her head behind her, where Lester stood waiting beside his car.
Becker stared at his boss, quite unable to move.
"Captain Becker, much as I will enjoy my demotion from top civil servant to taxi driver, the meter is running and I won't wait all day!" Lester shouted irritably.
Movement suddenly discovered Becker's limbs and he turned his head to stare at Jess, still completely dumbfounded. She stroked his face and smiled, lovingly.
"Go," she told him, gently.
He looked over at Lester and then back to Jess again as if torn by his need to see his mother, and be reassured of her well being, and his overwhelming desire to remain with Jess. Seeing his indecision, Jess cupped his cheek and bound his eyes to hers.
"Go. Look after your mother. I'll still be here when you get back," she assured him softly.
He held her eyes with his, still reluctant to let go of her. Grinning, Jess pushed up onto her tiptoes, pressed her cheek to his and whispered in his ear, her breath hot against his lobe, making him shiver.
"I love you, Captain Becker. Now will you go?"
She sank back down to her normal height and saw his eyes brighten and a small smile twist his lips.
"Thank you," he murmured, his voice hoarse. He leaned forward for a quick, but very fierce, kiss before jogging over to the waiting Lester as fast as his injured body would carry him.
As he climbed into the passenger seat of the Jaguar, he glanced back at Jess who blew him a kiss. Becker grinned and caught the kiss in his hand before pressing it to his cheek.
"Ugh!" Lester grimaced, his features contorted in disgust, before he hurriedly started the engine and exited the ARC.
As they drove silently through the streets of London, Becker glanced at his boss.
"Thank you," he said, sincerely. "I have no idea what you did to bring all this about, but thank you."
Lester nodded, unwilling to get all sentimental. More silence ensued until Lester's wheel hit a pothole. The car bounced and Becker hissed in pain. Lester looked over at his passenger and raised an eyebrow.
"Becker, is it possible for you to get any more beaten up?" he asked, sardonically.
Becker grinned. "I don't see how, sir."
Lester shook his head slowly. "We'll have Carter's medics look at you when we get to Hampshire," he said with an exasperated sigh. This was the boss showing much heartfelt concern.
The car fell silent again. Lester was not one for small talk or personal conversations and that suited Becker just fine. Lester drove with the concentration of raptor stalking its prey and Becker leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. Within seconds he was asleep, restful for the first time in months.
They arrived at the Becker family home before Carter's SUV. As Lester drove down the mile long gravelled drive he glanced again at Becker who was still asleep, looking peaceful as far as Lester could tell under the beard that covered half his face. He sighed with envy as they rounded the driveway and the house came into view. The Becker home, not quite stately, but close to it, was large and old and had more windows than Lester cared to count. The impressive, landscaped grounds were in excess of twenty acres, including stables, orchards and bizarrely, but fittingly for this family, a shooting range.
Lester nudged Becker awake as he parked the car and a few minutes later, two black ARC SUVs crunched down the driveway. Becker, his injuries now stiff from sitting in the same position for so long, needed Lester's assistance to clamber out of the lowered Jaguar. At the same time, Mrs Becker was also accepting assistance from Matt and Carter to climb down from the raised gait of the 4x4. Matt and Carter escorted Mrs Becker, an arm each looped through hers, across the gravel to her son. She had been prepared on the way that her son was alive but badly injured. Neither Matt nor Carter had been sure of the extent of Becker's injuries but were pleased to see him here under his own steam. They deposited Mrs Becker in front of her son and took a couple of steps backwards.
Becker stared down at his mother, his heart breaking at how frail and elderly she looked. He recalled her vibrant smile, her dark hair and her relaxed features. Even after his father had died, she had not lost her gentleness nor her enjoyment of the world. But now she looked careworn, her face lined and tired, her hair more grey than he had remembered. She stood before him, staring at him blankly with her clouded green eyes.
"Hello Mother," Becker said fondly.
He heard his mother's sharp intake of breath at the sound of his voice and watched her face change rapidly as emotion after emotion rippled over her features. She reached out her hands and he took a step forward, catching her hands in his and guiding them to his face.
Her fingers recoiled as she touched his long hair and his beard and he chuckled at her reaction, a low deep sound that she obviously recognised because she placed her hands on his cheeks more firmly than before. Her hands wandered over his features, from his hairline to his jaw, pausing occasionally to stroke gently and lovingly each time he winced.
"My son," she murmured, wistfully as she pulled his head down towards her so he could kiss her cheek. Mother and son embraced and she closed her eyes briefly and sighed against his shoulder.
Mrs Becker pulled back slightly, her hands still resting on his arms. "It is wonderful to have you home, Hilary, darling," she said, smiling. "But please could you explain to me why you are disguised as a homeless person?"
Becker laughed, deep and resonating, and pulled his mother back into his embrace.
A/N Aaaaawwwwwww, all is well in the world. Jecker fluff and a cuddle with mummy. What more could a soldier boy ask for? :D :D :D :D :D
I would love your reviews. Next chapter is the last one - so if you have any fabulous ideas on how it should end, now is the time to voice them! :D :D :D
