Chapter Twenty-Nine
The Man Who Will Save The World
Ella
About Sixteen Years Later
I sat on the ledge of a dairy billboard, drinking out of a paper bag, in typical small town fashion. "There she is." Claire said, her head poking up from the hole in the platform as she climbed up the latter.
"Here I am." I said sadly, taking another swig from my paper bag. I winced as the cheap vodka burned my throat.
"I don't imagine that's iced tea in there, babe?"
"Nope." I said, the p making a popping sound.
"Your dads worried about you. I can see why." She gestured to the bag. "You know the bad girl thing is kinda my thing."
"You don't own it." I frowned, kicking my legs.
Below me, the town was setting up for their local Halloween celebration. Dad and I always loved it. Scary movies, costumes, candy. Not this year. This year everything seemed to be lacking.
"You okay?"
"No." I said with a sigh, letting the bottle rest between my legs. The Townees were stringing up lights, dropping off hay bales, and carving pumpkins. They looked like miniatures, living their small, easy lives as mine fell through my fingers. "He's gonna die, Claire. He's gonna just let himself be dropped in the fucking ocean. Where's the justice in that?"
She winced and lowered herself next to me. "There isn't any. Life isn't fair. We've always known that."
"But he's always been there. Consistently. And now, what? I'm supposed to just accept that he will be in a box for the rest of my life? The rest of eternity?"
"No." Claire said, lacing her fingers with mine. "You don't have to accept it, but if it's going to happen you shouldn't be wasting your time here. I'd give anything for some more time with my dad, and babe you'll really regret it if you stay up here when you could be with your dad."
She was right, shit. I knew she was. "You're too good to me."
"There's no other way to be with you." She said simply, leaning in to kiss me.
I smiled against her soft embrace, against her watermelon lipgloss. My watermelon lipgloss. "You wearing my makeup?"
"It tastes like you." She smiled widely.
"You're so fucking cute." I said, lacing my fingers into her blonde curls.
"I know." She smirked and kissed me again.
The townees couldn't touch us up here. For a small town in Kansas I didn't get much repulsion from the locals for my extra curricular activities, as my home room teacher liked to describe it. Maybe they noticed the glock Dad had on him at all times. Maybe it was the fact that my home address was basically a fall out shelter. Nobody fucked with us, and I was fine with that.
"You and the boys going to the festival like old times?" Claire asked me.
"Maybe. We haven't really talked about it. Honestly, everything is all Michael all the time."
"You guys need a break. Maybe it'd be good to have some fun. Remember that?"
"Fun." I said dreamily. "Yeah, you're probably right. Besides, Jack would love the Ferris wheel."
"He's a weird kid, but sweet, ya know, for the Antichrist."
"Claire." I warned. "Don't call him that. Any of us could go dark with what our pasts look like, and if anyone's going to go dark, it sure as shit isn't going to be that little blonde angel."
Claire grinned at me. "There's my girl." She took my chin between her fingers. "Don't let your fire go out, kid. I know things are tough, but you're a Winchester, and if I know anything about that then I know you can figure out anything. And if you can't, then that's what I'm here for."
"I love you." I whispered, pressing my forehead to hers.
"I love you back."
Sam
Present Day
"The honeymoon suite." Ruby said, pushing through the hotel door. "Is there something you need to tell me, Sam?"
"Just trying to keep off Dean's radar." I said, popping my knuckles. "Now.. can we ... like lets not fuck around here."
"Hey, sweetness, relax." She said, with an eyebrow raised. She walked to me. "Did you miss me?"
"We just... we need to kill Lilith. This is serious. She came for me once already, and I Wasn't strong enough. I can't make that mistake again." I told her intently.
I couldn't bring the words that I knew were there to my mouth. The ones that would make Dean do worse than lock me up. The ones that would make Ava glad that she didn't choose me. The ones that would make sure I wouldn't ever see my niece again.
I did miss her. I more than missed her. I missed her blood.
A chill ran down my spine as she ran her fingers along my neck. "You want a hit?"
"God, why do you have to call it that?"
"I'm just kidding, Sam. I'm sorry I was gone. I'm sorry Lilith almost got you. You're right, we won't make that mistake again." She tilted her head to the side and brought her knife out from her back pocket.
My mouth watered at the sight of her neck. I could recognize how fucking gross it was. How much I felt like a monster, but there was nothing like feeling it rolling through my veins. Pumping, and making me stronger. She pressed the blade into her skin with a satisfied sigh. The blood pooled at the wound and I closed my eyes, leaning in. My lips made contact with the pulse on her neck and the heat from her blood entered my mouth and rolled down my throat.
I grabbed the small of her back and pressed her to me. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong, and even in that moment I couldn't remember my justification. I couldn't remember why I was doing it, all I knew is that I wanted more. And more than anything, I wanted her.
"Sam." She murmured, reaching down and taking me in her hand. "I guess you did miss me after all."
I pulled my face away from her throat when the blood stopped flowing, and pressed my mouth to hers, her essence still fresh on my lips.
Dean
Present
"Are you ready?" Ava asked me, her hand on my shoulder. "We don't know what we're going to find behind that door.
"No." I said weakly. "I'm not. What if he's too far gone, Ave? What if he's already a monster?"
"He isn't. No matter what he's done, he isn't a monster. He's Sam."
"Fuck, I hope you're right." I leaned in and pressed an urgent kiss to her lips. She kissed me back, trying to let some good fortune flow from me to her. I needed all the strength I could get. Having her next to me helped. Nothing could've prepared me for what I was about to walk into.
"House keeping." Ava knocked a few times, using an accent I'd never heard before. I smiled a bit, if the circumstances were different I would file that away to use in a role play with her, but I was too damn distracted, and the pit in my stomach was growing.
Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill.
Cas's words rang in my head. I'd never forget the look in Sams eyes when I pulled back the lock. He was like an animal in a cage. I feared that Cas was wrong, that he was already that creature. That he wasn't my brother anymore.
Ava eyed me and used the keycard we swiped off the maids cart to push into the room. "Dean, don't." Ava said, seeing the scene before I could. She put out her hand, but I'd already seen. There was no stopping it.
Sammy was lounging in bed, the white sheets fucking covered in blood. Ruby laid in her own underwear, little gashes and bites all over her body. Sams mouth hung open, he looked the way I looked after a big cheese burger or a piece of pie. He looked full. He not only was fucking this demon, but he was drinking her blood. A lot of it.
Sam glanced up at the sound of Ava's voice and quickly wiped his mouth. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and slid back into his underwear. Ruby was up quickly too.
"Stay where you are, bitch. I'd like a word with you." I said, pulling out the demon knife, and pointing it right at Ruby. I wanted to throw up. The scene was grotesque. It was so much worse than I could've imagined.
"Ruby, go." Sam insisted, eyeing her. He had stepped in front of her. He was protecting her. Shielding her.
Ruby turned, and slid out through the window, half naked and bloody into the parking lot. I glanced to Ava and she shook her head. A battle for another day. We were here for Sam.
"Sam, you don't have to do this." Ava said gently, taking a step toward him.
"You don't understand. I have to stop Lilith."
"We do understand." She said, taking another step toward him.
My vision felt fuzzy as I tried to keep my anger in check.
"Dean we can't let the apocalypse happen. You know that. It's up to me. It's all up to me."
"So what?" I growled. "You're just going to be Hell's little alter boy? You're going to be the boy king of the apocalypse? How does that make any sense? Castiel said there's another way, man, and if you hadn't flown the coop you'd know that. But fuck, look at you! You're enjoying this!"
"No I'm not..." Sam said with a wince, pain evident on his face.
"Christ, man. You don't even realize how far you've fallen. What's wrong with you?"
"Dean..." Ava warned. "Come on, Sam. He doesn't mean that."
"This has nothing to do with you, Ava." Sam said coldly, turning toward Ave. "You made your choice, so stop trying to pretend like you care who I sleep with."
"I do care, Sam! I care if you're putting yourself in danger."
"Yeah, I'm sure that's it." He tried to flip things on Ava. He was trying to piss me off. It was fucking working.
"Lay off her, man. You're right, this isn't about her. It's about you. I can't believe you're trusting a demon."
"And you're trusting an angel? They haven't exactly been trustworthy, Dean." Sam countered.
"You can't keep doing this! If you keep drinking this shit you're going to be gone. Cas said I can do it so you don't have to! No demon blood required! If you keep drinking this the Sam we know will be no more! Is that what you want?"
"Maybe it is! Maybe this is finally my chance to get out from under your thumb. Out from under Dads! I lost the girl, but at least I can save the fucking world. I'm sure you'd love to take that from me, too. Dean Winchester, everyone's favorite."
I was taken aback. Staring at my not-so-little brother. "Is that really what you think? You think I'm trying to do this for some kind of glory? You think I've got some kind of hero complex? No way! I'm doing this for you! I'm trying to protect you!"
"I'm an adult, Dean. I'm not your responsibility. Look right here." He pointed to Ava who stood with tears in her eyes watching us fight. Seeing Sam the way he was. "That's your responsibility. Let me take care of this. Stop putting your nose where it doesn't belong."
"Doesn't belong? I don't give a shit how old you are, you are my responsibility. You were six months old and Dad put you in my arms and you've been my responsibility ever since. Don't you dare throw that shit in my face. I've been everything to you."
"And now you have an actual kid to take care of." Sam said seriously. "And me?" He slid his jeans on and a shirt. "I have nothing else to lose"
He slipped on his shoes and grabbed the keys to whatever car he was driving. "Now get out of my way."
"You walk out that door, Sammy, and I swear I'm done. I won't look for you. I won't protect you. Nothing."
"Sorry you had to see me like this, Ave." Sam said to her before turning to me. "Bye, Dean." He whispered before pushing past us and out the door.
Ava
The ride back to Bobby's was the quietest Dean had ever been. There was profound loss on his face, his forehead wrinkled and his mouth in a defined line.
"We will get him back, Dean." I whispered, touching his thigh.
He winced against my touch and shook his head. "Nope. I wasn't lying, Ave. I'm done. I give him his ultimatum and he chose. He walked out that door."
"Dean." I said gently.
He shook his head. "Don't Dean me. This is the end of the discussion, Ava. I don't want to hear you talk about him again. Not while we need to figure out this apocalypse. I know he thinks he can fix it, but it's up to me. He's off the fucking rails. I don't trust him as far as I can toss his giant ass." Dean squeezed the steering wheel, his knuckles white. His jaw was tight and I swore I saw him grinding his teeth as he laser focused on the road in front of him. "The angels are gonna call, and I'm gonna stop Lilith, and I guess I'm going to do it without my brother."
I couldn't blame him. That wasn't the Sam we knew. He was something else all together. His voice echoed in my ears, burning holes in my soul. He said he had nothing left. My best friend, the boy who saved me... the boy who held me when I delivered my baby was gone. He melted before me into something unrecognizable. My heart hurt so fucking bad.
On our way back. I texted Lacey. Thanks again.
Buzz. Ain't no thing, chicken wing.
Buzz. Figure out how to save the world?
Not quite. I typed sadly.
Buzz. It's okay! We believe in you!
She said, sending a selfie with her holding little Nel up. Her fist was in her mouth, but she was smiling.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Dean asked, eyeing me.
I didn't realize I was crying until I my screen on my phone was blurry.
I showed him the photo. "She's so beautiful, Dean. I hate what.. um.. he who shall not be named said, but he's right. She's our responsibility. We should be there for her."
Dean smiled weakly and nodded. "Yeah. She is. You both are my responsibility, and I promise I am doing right by you. Nel can't live if there's no world to stand on. It may seem like I'm being reckless, but I promise Ave I'm doing this for her. I'm saving the world so she can have a world to grow up in."
"What if something happens to you?" I asked quietly, pain radiating through me. For the first time in a long time I was asking the questions that I needed to ask, no matter what the answer was.
"Then she will have you. It's never been me. I was never supposed to be a father. Never supposed to be a husband... you fave me that gift. Now let me give you one. Let me give you a safe world to raise our daughter in. It's the least I can do."
