Chapter 29 Notes: There's some fighting here, but it will all work out in the end. Thanks for all the thoughtful reviews for the last chapter. I love getting comments and feedback on what you guys are thinking about the story, and I appreciate your generosity every time you guys leave me a review. I received a comment that I used 'Jess' three or four times when I meant to use 'Jeremy' (thank you TheDisneyOutsider!). I was able to find three and fix them, but if anyone sees a fourth that I'm missing, please point it out. This is the second time I've done this now. I liked the idea of Jess's son having a J name, too, but I'm thinking it might have been easier to keep straight if I'd named him Squeegee Beckenheim. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls

Jeremy felt the same instinctive burning shame he always felt in the face of an accusation, even a silent one like this, regardless of his guilt or innocence. Over the years, he had learned that whether he had actually done what he was being accused of rarely mattered. It was always easy to blame the foster kid, especially one who was as insecure as he was and who tended toward shame and fear even on a good day. His mind flashed back to so many instances over the years. He saw himself getting blamed for a fire in the yard of a foster home he'd lived in when he was nine. The family's own son had been playing with matches, while Jeremy had watched nervously, knowing it was a bad idea, but wanting his new 'brother' to like him. He had been sent away a few days later. He saw the group home he had been at when he was fifteen, the bad one, and could still remember how the staff had been so suspicious of everything he or the other boys did, always assuming they were looking for a way to game the system or get more than their fair share when all he had ever wanted to do there was be invisible and exist below the staff's radar. He saw the incident when he had stolen from a foster mother's wallet, in a desperate bid to impress the other kids that didn't like him very much. He could still hear her calling him a sneaky, ungrateful brat, could still feel the impact of the palm of her hand against his cheek when she'd slapped him. But, he had been guilty then. He knew he deserved it.

He also knew there was nothing incriminating on his phone now. He had obeyed the rules the whole time he was grounded, out of both respect for Jess and fear of messing things up more than he already had with his trip to New York. Really, he had obeyed the rules the whole time he had been with Jess, aside from the peanut allergy lie and the New York incident. But, he reasoned now that maybe those breaches had been enough. He had lied and broken Jess's trust and maybe that wasn't completely fixable. He felt angry at himself for how safe he had let himself feel with Jess, how comfortable he had become, letting his walls down, trusting that Jess would be fair with him and forgive him his transgressions with a clean slate. He never should have let himself feel secure enough in their relationship to think he could run off to New York with Melissa without damaging what he and Jess had. He felt stupid and ashamed.

But, he also felt another emotion, anger directed outward, at Jess for not trusting him. For the unfairness of it all. That he had lived his whole life without ever having been genuinely trusted. That even though Jeremy had banked considerably more goodwill than bad in the time they had been living together, Jess was still treating him as if all of his good behavior and obedience meant nothing in the face of one night of poor judgement. It didn't seem right. For once, Jeremy felt like he deserved better. He had expected better from Jess. And, that made the accusation hurt all the more.

"Uh, hey Jeremy." Jeremy watched Jess get to his feet, still holding Jeremy's phone.

"I haven't used my phone since the day you took it away from me. That's what you're trying to find out, right? I wouldn't go behind your back like that."

"I know. I appreciate that." Jess looked uncomfortable, too, and maybe a little guilty over his own actions, and that brought Jeremy a certain satisfaction. Maybe Jess really did believe him.

"If you knew I wouldn't use it behind your back, what are you doing with it?" The force of Jeremy's own resentment surprised him, as he realized he didn't want to make this easy on Jess.

Jess looked down at the phone clutched in his hand, as if surprised to see it still there. "Uh, ok, I'm not going to lie to you, Jeremy. I was checking to make sure you hadn't been using it. But, it's not like I don't trust you-"

"Really? Cause it sounds exactly like you don't trust me." Jeremy heard the attitude in his own voice and felt his self-control slipping away from him.

Jess sighed. "I just wanted to check. Trust, but verify, right?" Jess smiled hesitantly, and it pissed Jeremy off even more. "I just….I don't know, I guess I wanted to make sure."

"How often have you been looking through my phone?"

"It's not like that." Jess spoke slowly and carefully. "This is the first time I've even taken it out of the drawer. I do trust you, Jeremy."

Jeremy barked out a short, humorless laugh. "Sure, Jess." Jeremy put a nasty emphasis on Jess's name, wanting him to really feel the absence of 'dad.' "I feel really trusted right now, Jess."

"I do." Jess insisted. "It's just. I just wanted to ma-"

"Make sure." Jeremy cut him off sharply. "Yeah, I heard you the first time. You didn't find any texts from me, did you?"

"No, I didn't. And, I didn't really expect-"

"How do you know I didn't just delete my texts?" Jeremy watched Jess sigh at being cut off again. He knew he was being rude, but he was ok with that right now. He wanted to hurt Jess's feelings as much as Jess had hurt his.

"I don't. But, I believe you-"

"How do you know I haven't been texting Melissa every fucking day since you grounded me and just deleting the texts? Huh, Jess? What, you think I'm too stupid to delete my texts? You know, the ones I'm sending behind your back and all?"

"Watch yourself, Jeremy." Jess's voice remained level, even though Jeremy could tell Jess was getting angry, too. "I get that you're upset right now, but you need to watch your attitude."

Jeremy knew he should heed the warning, but he rankled at Jess's reproving tone. "Really? You get to snoop through my shit and basically accuse me of lying and sneaking around behind your back, but I have to 'watch myself' because I said 'fucking.' That's bullshit, Jess! You swear all the time!"

"Yeah, I swear, but I don't swear at you-"

"Neither did I! I said 'fuck,' but I didn't say it at you! It's not like I said, 'go fuck yourself, Jess,' cause I could see how that would be grounds for me to watch myself. I agree that 'Go fuck yourself, Jess' would be extremely out of line."

Jeremy watched Jess take a step toward him, looking as angry as Jeremy had ever seen him outside of the motel room the night he had come back from New York, but not out of control, at least not yet. He couldn't see Jess losing it like that over this. Jeremy knew that Jess's reaction in the motel that night had been fueled as much by fear as by anger. But, Jeremy felt his heartbeat speeding up just the same. He swallowed nervously, knowing he had really crossed a line. He stood there feeling stupid and embarrassed, hating himself and wanting to cry. He didn't know why he did stuff like this. It made him think of his first night with Jess, when he had 'whatevered' him because he'd been disappointed that Jess hadn't matched his expectations, or the lie about the peanut allergy he had made up in response to Jess seemingly having forgotten he existed two mornings in a row. He knew he wasn't good at handling his own emotions when he was hurt. He always lashed out so childishly, as if the second he got hurt he gave up on the other person and tried to sabotage the relationship completely, to ruin it himself before someone else could take it away from him. He was so pathetic.

Jess stopped a few feet away, keeping Jeremy just beyond arm's reach, and Jeremy was grateful for the space, half expecting Jess to get up in his face and use physical intimidation to make Jeremy back down. Jeremy studied Jess's face nervously for any sign of what to expect. Jeremy watched Jess take a deep steadying breath, and Jeremy let out a quiet exhale of a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "This conversation is over, Jeremy. You need to either head back down to the diner or go to your room. It's up to you, but I really need you to get out of my sight right now."

Jeremy knew he should apologize. He knew how he talked to Jess had been completely out of line. But, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted Jess to apologize for what he had done first.

"Fine." Jeremy turned and walked back to the door. Luke had sent him up here for the first aid kit from the bathroom after Cesar had used the last bandaid in the diner's kit. Jeremy would just tell him they were out up here, too, and offer to run to the drugstore for a new box.

Winston scampered after him, still looking for love from his boy. "Jeremy!" Jeremy froze at Jess's tone. "Do not walk out that door without giving your dog some fucking attention. It's not Winston's fault you're pissed at me."

Jeremy reflexively bent to pet Winston's head. Jess was right. It wasn't Winston's fault he was pissed, and as much as he really wanted to just get out of there, away from Jess, he really didn't want to make an already bad situation worse by directly disobeying him. Jeremy got down on one knee and rubbed Winston's head and neck, telling him in a low voice what a good boy he was. He felt himself calming slightly as he pet his dog, thinking about how Winston loved him and trusted him. Then he left Winston in the living room and walked out of the apartment. He didn't realize how angry he still was until he heard the door slamming loudly behind him. His heart beat rapidly all the way down the stairs, as he worried that the action might incite Jess to come after him.

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Part of Jess wanted to storm out after Jeremy and make him come back up to close the door properly, but he could only see that playing out one way. His hands on Jeremy, fingers digging into his biceps hard enough to bruise, angrily dragging him back up the stairs, while he yelled at him loud enough for the whole diner to hear. He'd been on the other side of that kind of manhandling many times as a kid and he didn't want to be that kind of parent. His entire childhood had shown him how harmful that type of parenting could be. He didn't know what options that left him with. He had just stood there and done nothing while his kid had told him to go fuck himself, twice. It hadn't felt good, but he hadn't been able to come up with a viable middle ground between flying into a rage or standing there and taking it. He didn't really want to be that kind of parent either, one whose kid thought he could talk to him like that. But, more than anything, he didn't want to unleash on Jeremy like he had that night in the motel. Not ever again. He had come too close to being every man he had ever hated or feared from his own childhood. A one time occurrence was one thing. Jess hoped Jeremy would be generous when he thought about that night and blame his behavior on a perfect storm of stress caused by the loss of his job, the fire and not knowing where his kid was at three a.m. But more than once, that was a pattern for Jeremy to look back on later in life, a legacy of anger and volatility to remember him by. That was the last kind of parent he wanted to be.

He shouldn't have looked at Jeremy's phone. It had been a shitty thing to do. And, in the end, it had been inconclusive enough to be pointless. He could admit that. But, it hadn't justified the way Jeremy had talked to him. The boy's entire demeanor had been so hateful. And, Jess got it, he'd messed up, but hadn't he done enough good stuff for Jeremy over the past few months to deserve to be cut a little slack for one poor decision? Jess thought about how spitefully and disrespectfully Jeremy had talked to him at the end, barely camouflaging his message for Jess to go fuck himself. And, how the boy had used his name, spitting out 'Jess' with such contempt, the same way he had with 'Liz' when he was a teenager and wanted to show his mother how little he thought of her. Jess remembered when he had been secretly working at Walmart at Jeremy's age and had come home to find the contents of his dresser drawer moved after Luke had searched through his stuff. He had been angry, but he hadn't spoken to Luke with anywhere near as much heat or disrespect as Jeremy had just spoken to him. He had never in his life dropped the f-bomb on Luke, even during their worst fights, over school or over Jimmy. Jess knew it wasn't a useful thought, but he kind of missed the honeymoon phase, when Jeremy had been so grateful for every kindness Jess had shown him that the boy had graciously overlooked all Jess's flaws as a parent and a person. He knew it wasn't a sustainable model for a relationship to have one person feel so grateful toward the other, and he didn't honestly want Jeremy to behave out of fear of Jess losing interest or getting rid of him, but jeez, if Jeremy hadn't been easier to deal with back then. He hoped this passed quickly. The adoption was in three days and he didn't want tension from this hanging over the day like a dark cloud. Jess sighed and looked at the time. He had better run the dog outside and get over to the bookstore.

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"Hey, Jess! You want breakfast or did you eat already?" Luke balanced several plates of food as he greeted Jess in the diner.

Jess's stomach growled at the offer. He hadn't eaten, but now he didn't have time. He didn't want to be late for work. "Could I maybe just get a coffee to go?"

"Yeah, sure." Luke spotted Jeremy walking behind the counter and called out to the boy. "Hey, Jeremy, can you get Jess a coffee to go?"

Jeremy nodded, putting the dirty dishes he had just bussed into the tray below the counter. Without looking at Jess, he filled a cardboard cup with coffee, snapped on a plastic lid and wordlessly put the cup on the counter in front of Jess.

"Thank you, Jeremy." Jess said, trying to get the boy to look at him.

Jeremy nodded his acknowledgement without making eye contact and walked away.

"So, uh, what's going on, there?" Luke asked, his voice low.

Jess turned to find his uncle standing behind him, the full plates he had been carrying now replaced with a stack of empty ones. He sighed. "He's mad at me."

Luke chuckled. "Yeah, I got that part. What did you do?"

Jess knew Luke was joking, that he didn't realize how serious the situation was, but he still felt a spike of annoyance at his uncle's disloyalty. "You don't even know what happened and you're on his side. Hmm, that shocks no one."

Luke frowned. "I'm not taking anyone's side. I don't like seeing you guys like this."

"Yeah, well that makes two of us." Jess held up his drink. "Thanks for the coffee. I really need to get to work."

Jess walked toward the door, watching Jeremy standing at Patty and Babette's table, notepad and pencil raised, smiling and laughing at something one of them said as he took their order. Jess sighed. It wasn't even ten o'clock yet and the day already sucked.

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Sunday brunch was a busy time in the diner. The crowd didn't thin out until after two-thirty. Jeremy waited until Luke cashed out the last customer to approach him.

"Do you want me to run out for those band-aids now?"

Luke looked at Jeremy carefully. "It's about time for Winston's walk, isn't it?"

"Uh, yeah. It is. I guess I should go take him out. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, you don't want to keep him waiting. You mind if I tag along?" Luke smiled. "Let's you and me get out of here for a little while, get some fresh air. What do you say? We can stop for the band-aids while we're out."

Jeremy was caught off guard by the request. He would normally jump at the chance to spend time with Luke, just the two of them, but he had seen Luke talking to Jess earlier and he figured that Luke just wanted to get him alone to lecture him on how he had treated his nephew. "Uh, sure. That sounds good."

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Jeremy was holding Winston's leash as they walked through the town square, waiting for Luke to lay him into for what he had said to Jess. Even though he knew he had it coming, he hated the idea of Luke being angry at him or disappointed at how he'd treated Jess. He wished for the millionth time during his shift that he had stopped when Jess had warned him to. It wouldn't have been nearly as bad if he hadn't ended with all the 'go fuck yourself' stuff. God, he was such an idiot. His face was already warming at the memory of his behavior and Luke hadn't even reprimanded him yet.

"So." Luke started. "Things seemed a little tense with you and Jess in the diner earlier. You want to talk about what's going on with you two?"

Jeremy didn't. But, he didn't want to say that to Luke. He didn't want to come across as rude and alienate another person he cared about. He considered playing dumb, coming back with a 'what do you mean,' but unlike earlier with Jess, he knew he deserved what he was about to get and he had no intention of making things harder than they had to be. He would just take whatever Luke wanted to say to him and apologize. He'd work extra hard at the diner to get back on Luke's good side.

"We had a fight." Jeremy said.

"I kind of worked that part out myself." Luke sounded amused and Jeremy felt hopeful. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he thought.

"Was it when you went upstairs for the band-aids?" Luke asked.

Jeremy nodded, keeping his eyes trained on Winston as the dog sniffed along the snow. "Yeah. When I walked in….Well, you know I'm grounded, right? That I have been since I got here?"

Luke nodded. "I heard something to that effect."

"Well, I'm not allowed to use my phone either, while I'm grounded. Jess took it away from me and put it in a drawer." "And, when I walked in today, he was charging it and looking through my messages."

"Ah…"

"He was checking to see if I was using it to text Melissa when I wasn't supposed to be."

"I see."

"And, he didn't find anything because I wasn't. I wouldn't sneak around like that behind his back. I know I kind of did with going to New York without telling him, that one time, but that was different. I just…..I wanted to be with Melissa and I didn't want to look like a loser that her and her friend could go and I couldn't. It was different. I just got, like, caught up in wanting to impress her, and it was stupid because she already liked me anyway. I think it would have been fine if I had said no and gone home. But, I would never do something that Jess actually forbid me to do, like use my phone behind his back while I'm grounded."

"So, you feel like he doesn't trust you?"

"Yeah, because he doesn't. It's obvious. And, it feels really bad. I mean, aside from the New York incident, and the stuff with the peanut allergy." Jeremy got embarrassed at the mention of that lie, but he hadn't wanted to leave it unsaid and to have Luke think he didn't count it as a serious offense. "I've followed all his rules. Not that he has that many. But, I try to be really helpful at home and I talk to him respectfully most of the time, and I get good grades, and I'm good about taking care of Winston…." Jeremy wasn't sure where he was going with his list of attributes so he let himself trail off, knowing these didn't really matter in the bigger picture of whether Jess trusted him. Running off to New York without permission had obviously outweighed the rest in Jess's mind.

"You're a really good kid, Jeremy. Jess knows that."

Jeremy shrugged, feeling dangerously close to getting emotional. He didn't want to be in a fight with Jess, and he felt really relieved that Luke wasn't taking Jess's side. He didn't know how he would deal if they were both angry with him at the same time. "It hurts that he thinks I'm someone who would lie and sneak around like that. I don't feel like I am, but then I think about it, and I have lied and I have snuck around, so…..I don't know. It's not like I can really defend myself and say I'm not. That's what feels the worst."

"Jeremy, I love my nephew. You know that, right?"

Jeremy was surprised by the question, but he figured it was probably some kind of segue into Luke telling him that he needed to be better to Jess, more grateful for all he'd done for him.

"Yeah. Of course." Jeremy said. "I love him, too."

Luke smiled warmly at him. "I know you do. And, I'm just telling you that I do because I'm about to say something kind of bad about him, and I want you to know that I'm saying it out of love, and that it isn't anything I wouldn't say in front of him."

Jeremy turned toward Luke, his curiosity piqued.

"When Jess was your age, he was kind of a liar. He was a really sneaky kid. Don't get me wrong, he was never a bad kid. I mean, I know I'm biased, but I never thought he was actually bad. But, he lied and snuck around behind my back the whole time he lived with me like it was nothing. Growing up with his mother…..how can I put this. Liz had problems with drugs and alcohol, and men really, for most of her adult life, and Jess wasn't…...cared for the way a kid should be cared for when he was little. When he came to live with me, he was an angry kid and he had very little respect for anyone, including himself. He got in fights at school, talked back to his teachers. He stole. He caused lots of problems with Taylor and other people in town. And, he lied to me. A lot. He got a job at Walmart without me knowing. He was gone a lot and he was making money, enough to buy a car. And, I knew he hadn't got it from working for me. So, one day I went through his stuff."

Jeremy knew his face had registered his surprise when he saw Luke's embarrassed expression.

"I did. It was pretty stupid, and I couldn't even tell you what I thought I was looking for. But, I wanted to know where he was getting his money. He came home and he could tell I'd been through his stuff and he was not happy about it, but he finally told me about Walmart. He told me that a second job wouldn't keep him from graduating high school, that he could pass his classes without putting in any real effort. But, then he spent the last few months of his senior year sneaking around behind my back, pretending he was going to school, telling me that he was going to go and then heading over to Walmart to work instead. I can't even tell you how many times he lied right to my face about it." Luke paused for a moment and Jeremy could tell he was stuck in a memory. "Anyway, I'm telling you this because I don't think Jess looking through your phone was about how he sees you as much as it was about how he sees himself, or at least the teenage version of himself that he used to be. He was a sneaky kid when he was your age. A good person deep down, and a sweet kid when he wanted to be, but sneaky. Someone who was willing to take lots of liberties with the truth, and who could come up with his own personal rationalization for doing things he knew he shouldn't. And, I think that's where his mind goes with you because that's what he was like. If I had taken something away from him when he lived with me, he would have taken it back and done whatever the hell he wanted behind my back. I don't think you're like that. I think you're more like how I was at your age, and you want to do the right thing by the people you care about. I think maybe he has trouble really understanding that because it's so different from how he thought at your age."

Jeremy was silent for a moment, reflecting on what Luke had told him. He had known some of the details of Jess not finishing school, but he couldn't imagine being lucky enough to have an uncle like Luke, who was willing to take him in when he needed help, and taking advantage of his kindness like that.

"When Jess realized you had searched his stuff, what did he say? Did you guys get in a fight?"

Luke chuckled. "Almost every day was a fight with that kid. But, yes, we did. He accused me of being…..what did he say? Totalitarian, I believe. I remember the word because I looked it up in the dictionary after he stormed out." Luke laughed softly at the memory. "He bitched at me for invading his privacy. I bitched at him for sneaking around. It escalated into an argument about him graduating high school, but pretty much all our conversations were ending up there by that point."

"Oh." Jeremy had been hoping for something more dramatic, to make him feel better about his own fight with Jess. "Ours was pretty bad. I was really angry, and I acted like a jerk."

Luke was watching him, a fond expression on his face. "I can't see you being a jerk."

"I was. And when he told me to stop, I, uh…." Jeremy wanted to get it off his chest, but he was also a little scared to tell Luke. "I told him to go." Jeremy paused. "F himself. Twice."

"Oh." Luke's expression turned serious.

"Except I actually said the F word." Jeremy blushed, unsure what was more embarrassing, that he had actually told Jess to go fuck himself or that he had referred to the swear as the 'F word' in the retelling.

"I figured as much. It sounds like things got pretty heated."

"They did, or I did, at least. Jess didn't really yell or say anything that bad. I mean, I think he actually felt guilty about looking at my phone, or at least he felt bad about being caught doing it. And, I could tell he was getting angry from how I was talking to him, but he stayed pretty calm. I feel like I was the only one who got heated. It really…...sucked that he didn't trust me, and I just kind of lost it, I guess. I was terrible."

"I'm sure it's not anything you can't be forgiven for." Luke gave him a small smile. He didn't know if he should tell Luke that he didn't really want to apologize until Jess did. It felt too childish.

"I guess not." Jeremy agreed. Winston had already relieved himself and they had circled back toward the diner. "Thanks for listening to me, Uncle Luke."

"It's my pleasure, Jeremy. I'm always here if you want to talk."

Jeremy was grateful to have Luke in his life. He thought about his recent reversal of fortune when it came to family and loved ones and he knew he was being petty about what Jess had done, that it was very small in the bigger picture of who Jess was to him and what the man had given him. But, he also knew that he didn't want to settle for things being unfair just because he was a poor little orphan that Jess had rescued. That was a new thought for Jeremy, and it made him feel uncomfortable.

"Thanks. Thanks for really hearing my side of things. That means a lot to me." "When you wanted to talk, I thought you were going to just take Jess's side and come down on me about how I acted."

"I can't take sides between you and Jess. That's not how family works. I love you guys and I hate seeing you not getting along. But, I'm on both your sides, always." Luke reached out a hand to Jeremy and squeezed his shoulder through his coat.

They crossed the street back to the diner in silence and walked around the back toward Winston's entrance.

"One time when Jess lived with me, the toaster in the diner broke. I was getting really frustrated with it, and Jess snuck downstairs that night and played around with it until he fixed it."

Jeremy stared at Luke blankly, not knowing how to take this random story. "Ok."

Luke laughed. "I just thought I should tell you a story about something nice Jess did when he was your age to balance out the story about him lying and sneaking around." Luke paused. "But, come to think of it, when I asked him if he fixed the toaster, he lied about it."

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Jess knocked on Jeremy's bedroom door and waited until he heard a soft 'come in' from inside. He opened the door to find Winston on his feet, greeting him with a wagging tail and Jeremy sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard on a propped up pillow, his knees pulled up protectively and looking much less happy. Jess bent to give Winston some affection. "Hey, buddy? How's my little guy doing? Huh? Who's my good boy?" Jess stood and walked over to Jeremy's bed, watching the boy eye him nervously, while still keeping up the pretense of reading the textbook balanced against his thighs.

"So, I think we need to talk." Jess gestured toward the end of Jeremy's bed. "Ok if I sit?"

Jeremy looked up and nodded his head. "Yeah, of course."

"How was your day?"

"Uh, good, I guess. It was ok."

Jess sat down near the end of the bed, a few feet from his son. Jeremy fidgeted with the textbook and Jess reached for it, stopping himself right before he put his hand on it. "May I?"

"Oh, uh, sure." Jeremy shut the book and handed it to Jess who set it on Jeremy's desk. "How about you? How was your day?" Jeremy glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand. "Did you work late?"

"No, I got out at six. I was just walking around. I didn't want to come home until I figured out what I wanted to say to you."

Jeremy watched Jess wordlessly. Jess was relieved to see that the boy didn't look angry or defensive. He tried to read Jeremy's expression, and he saw some apprehension there, but he couldn't tell if it was over the boy's earlier behavior or what the kid thought was coming. Jess had expected an apology by this point, but it looked like he would need to go first, which he supposed was fair considering that his offensive action had been the catalyst for Jeremy's offensive behavior.

"I didn't come up with anything profound, in case you were wondering, so I'll just give you what I've got. I love you. And, I'm sorry. I should have trusted you."

One side of Jeremy's mouth turned up in a small, approving half-smile, and Jess felt good that he had started off by acknowledging his own error in judgement. "Thanks. I'm, uh, I'm sorry, too. Really sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did. I shouldn't have talked to you like that."

Jess took a deep breath. "Thank you. And, for the record, I agree. You were pretty out of line, even if I did upset you. I think we need to talk about that, too. Telling me to go fuck myself is really not ok."

Jeremy's face flushed pink and Jess was glad to see that the boy was embarrassed. He felt like that was a good thing, an appropriate response to what he'd done.

Jeremy nodded, looking down at his lap. "You're right. I'm really sorry. I feel horrible about what I said. It won't happen again."

"Thanks." Jess looked over toward Jeremy's desk, his and April's old one, while he collected his thoughts, before turning back toward Jeremy. "I know I haven't always set the best example of how I want us to treat each other. I'm aware of that. The way I lost it on you that night in the motel room wasn't ok either. I know that. And, I'm trying to work on that. On controlling myself, and waiting until I'm in a calm place before I have conversations when I'm mad, especially conversations with you. I've always had anger issues…." "And, I think maybe you do, too." Jess dipped his head, trying to make eye contact with Jeremy. The boy looked up and met his eye in response. "I think you just hide yours better than I did at your age. But, I think you need to work on the way you lash out at me when your feelings are hurt. I don't want it to be something that holds you back in life. Relationships are hard enough, as it is." Jess swallowed. "I hope it doesn't make me sound like a hypocrite, that I'm asking you to work on something at your age that I haven't really mastered at mine. But, even if it does, I guess I'm ok with it, because at the end of the day, I want you to be a better person than I am. And, I'm thinking that means you need to start working on some stuff earlier than I did. I let my anger ruin a lot of things for me when I was younger, a lot of relationships. I used it as an excuse to treat some people I cared about like crap and push them away. I don't want to see the same things happen to you."

Jeremy nodded. "Ok. I'll work on it. I promise." Jess took in the shine in Jeremy's eyes, and knew the boy had taken his words to heart. "I don't want to be someone who treats the people they care about like crap."

Jess smiled warmly. "Good. Because I don't want to be treated like crap. It feels…" Jess made a face. "Crappy, for lack of a better word." Jess grinned, and a small smile formed on Jeremy's face in response. "I don't want to be someone who treats you like crap, either."

"You really don't. You do so much for me. You're a really good dad. I want you to know that I realize that and appreciate it. I mean, it sucked that you didn't trust me about the phone, but I think I get it now, that you were just projecting on me what you would have done if you were in my situation when you were my age."

Jess raised one eyebrow. "Yeah? Is that right?"

"Yeah." Jeremy smiled, as he wiped at the corner of one eye with the back of his hand. "I talked to Luke and he helped me see stuff from your point of view."

"Huh. Interesting. Remind me to thank Luke for sharing that bit of insight with you." Jess feigned annoyed sarcasm and Jeremy laughed softly.

"Talking to Luke really did help, though. He's a good listener. Like, I thought he was going to be on your side and tell me that I was being a jerk to you, but it wasn't like that. He cared about how I felt, too. It was really good to be able to talk to him like that."

"Yeah." Jess agreed. "He's not too terrible." They were both quiet for a moment and Jess thought about how grateful he was to have Luke around, for Jeremy and for himself.

"So, am I…." The blush rose on Jeremy's cheeks again. "Like, grounded for longer because of what I said to you?"

Jess shook his head. "No, you're not. You're eighteen, technically an adult, and I want to treat you like one."

"I feel really awful."

Jess smirked. "Hey, that's what happens when an adult treats someone they care about badly. They get to feel awful about it." Jess lifted his shoulders slightly, in a small shrug. "I can't help you with that. The only thing I can do is still love you while you feel awful, if that helps."

Jeremy stared at Jess silently, and Jess wondered what the boy was thinking.

"I also don't see any point in keeping your phone from you for the next couple of days. I left it on the dining room table. You can have it back whenever you want. You are officially ungrounded, three days early, for." Jess grinned and tilted his head to one side. "Let's just say, mostly good behavior."

Jeremy huffed out a silent laugh. "Ok. Thanks."

"Sure." Jess smiled at his son. "I need to go eat something. Did you have dinner already?"

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah, I ate in the diner. But I'll come out and sit with you, if you want."

"I definitely want." Jess started to stand up, then sat back down, realizing he had a little more he needed to say. "And, one more thing, Jeremy. Please just take what I said about your anger as a piece of constructive criticism about one tiny, specific aspect of your behavior. Because overall, I think you're a really great kid. I hope I tell you that enough."

Jeremy looked down at his lap. "I'm not sure how to quantify 'enough,' but you've definitely told me more times than anyone else ever has." The boy looked back up at Jess. "I can tell you that much, at least."

"I love you so much. I would tell you that you're my favorite kid, except Winston's in the room and I don't want to hurt his feelings."

Jess watched Jeremy smile. "I love you, too."

Jess smiled warmly at the boy. "And, I hope it goes without saying that I'm not one of the people you could ever push away by treating me like crap. Not even if you tried really hard. You know that, right?"

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah. I do." Jeremy smiled at Jess. "You're my forever person."

Jess huffed out a soft laugh. "Yeah, I am." He stood up. "I don't know about you, but I could really use a hug right now."

Jeremy got to his feet and took a step forward. Jess pulled the boy into his chest, holding him tightly and cupping the back of his head with one palm. "I hate fighting with you." He kissed the side of the Jeremy's head and let go as he felt the boy start to pull away.

Jeremy nodded, a smile on his face. "Yeah. It did really suck. I don't think we should do it again."

"Ok. Deal!" Jess said with exaggerated enthusiasm. He put his arm around Jeremy's shoulders and started leading him toward the door. "Hey, you know what would be really great, Son?"

Jeremy smiled. "What would be really great, Dad?"

"Aww! That right there! You read my mind!" Jess grinned. "That's what I needed to hear! I needed something to wipe out the sound of all the angry 'Jess's' from earlier that were still rattling around in my head." Jess put exaggerated attitude into the pronunciation of his name for comedic effect while he got his point across.

He heard Jeremy laugh, and he dropped one more kiss on the side of his kid's head, before taking his arm back to let Jeremy walk through the doorway ahead of him.