Sherlock watched as Molly left for work. What was it about this woman that kept him coming back to her? He kept fighting his inner demons when it came to her. He felt so unworthy of her loyalty. Yet he couldn't stay away from her either. Now he had to figure out how to juggle a relationship with her and their unborn child, as well as continue being a father to Victoria, not to mention keeping up with his detective work.
It had hurt when Molly tried to push him away, and he had been afraid she would insist upon it, not allow him to be part of the new baby's life. It seemed though he needed her as well. His body told him he needed her, even while his mind warred with himself, saying he should continue to keep his distance, that she would just be a distraction. With the new baby though he had to admit he didn't want to leave her alone or let her go. Not now. Truthfully, not ever.
If only Moriarty's accomplice would reveal his plan within the next month, all would be well. Sherlock could then move on with his life. He and Molly could get married and raise their children together away from London if need be. That was what he wanted, what his heart wanted more than anything.
He felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down at his daughter. "Daddy, are we going soon?"
"Yes, of course, sweet pea. I'll just call a taxi for us." He looked around for the changing bag. Nowadays it contained mostly play items for his daughter.
Soon afterwards they were at Baker Street. When he knocked on Mrs. Hudson's door, she exclaimed, "Oh, I was wondering why Molly wasn't here yet with Victoria." Then her eyes widened. "Oh, you - did you spend the night with her?"
Sherlock flushed slightly. "I'd prefer not to answer that question."
Of course, right then Victoria had to chime in with, "Daddy got me bweakfast."."
The landlady gave him a knowing smile, but said to Victoria, "That must have been very nice,"
Victoria nodded vigorously as his landlady said, "Well, come in and visit for a minute, Sherlock," said the elderly woman, gesturing for him to enter.
Sherlock did so, hoping she wasn't about to start lecturing him about his personal life. He knew quite well from the reproving looks she had given him at the christening that she felt he had been neglecting his daughter.
Victoria went immediately to the table and climbed onto a seat in order to work on an unfinished puzzle.
Mrs. Hudson looked over at her and then spoke in a low tone to Sherlock. "I certainly hope you are not just playing around with Molly's feelings again. You're not the only man in the world after all. She deserves someone who will be there for her and her child consistently, not just a sometime father who comes and goes as he pleases."
Sherlock started at the censure in her tone. He clenched his jaw and gritted, "I am not playing with Molly's feelings. She and our daughter mean the world to me."
Mrs. Hudson folded her arms. "Well, for your sake, you had better come up to scratch soon, young man. If not, you're going to find yourself alone again when she moves on with someone else."
Sherlock narrowed his eyes at that. "Molly isn't seeing anyone else."
Mrs. Hudson sniffed. "Perhaps not, but that isn't for lack of offers."
An alarm bell rang in Sherlock's ears. This was something he had not at all expected to hear. "What do you mean by that - other offers?" he demanded in a deadly quiet tone, glancing over at Victoria to make sure she was not paying attention to the conversation. Fortunately she wasn't.
Mrs. Hudson, of course, was not intimidated in the slighted. "Oh, she was telling me last week that she's been asked out to dinner by that forensics guy who sometimes works with Lestrade," she told him in a superior tone.
Sherlock's lips tightened. "Do you mean Anderson? That inept fellow Mycroft likes to use when it comes to searching my flat for drugs?"
"That's the one."
This time, a prickle of apprehension slid down Sherlocks spine. "She didn't accept, did she?"
Her response was far from satisfactory. "Not this time. Maybe next time she will. It isn't as if you have any type of commitment to one another with your refusal to bring your affair or whatever you want to call it out into the open, is it?" Her voice was cutting. Sherlock had never heard his landlady talk so coldly towards him and he didn't like it at all.
This time it was his turn to fold his arms defensively. "It's not an affair, Mrs. Hudson. It's a relationship."
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Sherlock. I'm just giving you fair warning. Molly isn't going to stay around forever to wait for you to make up your mind about her."
He was about to make a heated retort when his phone chimed. He checked and saw it was a message from Lestrade. It was a good excuse to end the conversation. "Well, duty calls. I have work to do." He walked to the chair on which his daughter was sitting and bent down to drop a kiss on the top of her head. "I'll see you later, sweet pea."
She looked up briefly and smiled, then returned to her task.
As Sherlock ascended the stairs to his flat, he reflected on Mrs. Hudson's words of caution. Suddenly he felt insecure about the status of things with Molly. He'd assumed that her being pregnant would be enough to keep her tied to him, but that wasn't enough after all.
She's mine, dammit, he cursed to himself. I don't want another man hanging around, trying to steal her from me. But what could he do to make sure she didn't go off with anyone else when he knew that within a month he planned to make things official and ask her to marry him? For now though, how could he ensure that Molly didn't get tired of waiting for him if he got busy with his work and neglected her again?
Going upstairs to his flat, Sherlock read over the text he had received. Giles had a new case for him. It would have to wait until the next day, he thought. He had a couple clients to deal with later on today. He'd see if John wanted to join him tomorrow.
First he texted Mary.
Mary,can I borrow your husband for a case tomorrow evening at 5 PM? I got a text from Giles about a case, and I thought John might like to have a night off from fathering duties - no offence.
It was some minutes before he got a response.
Sorry, I was just changing Rosie's nappy. By Giles I assume you mean Greg Lestrade. You really ought to learn the poor man's name. That's fine with me. Oh, I've been meaning to ask - how are things with you and Molly? They have seemed a bit strained lately.
Suddenly, Sherlock hit upon an idea. Mary was a woman. Perhaps she would be able to help him with his situation in regard to Molly.
Actually I wouldn't mind getting some advice. I don't suppose you could come over and see me this morning?
I'd love to get out of the house. Rosie and I will be there as soon as I can get her ready, she responded.
Sherlock smiled with relief. He was sure Mary would have pearls of wisdom for him.
Thank you.
He sent a text to John.
Baker Street? Tomorrow 5 PM? Lestrade says he has a belter.
After he sent the text, he remembered to add, Mary says it's fine.
A few minutes later John responded in the affirmative.
Then Sherlock sat and waited for Mary. When she arrived with her daughter, Rosie was asleep in her carseat, which was quite convenient. Sherlock sat in his chair and indicated for Mary to take a seat on the sofa.
"So, what's all this about, then? I'm assuming it has something to do with Molly, seeing as you did not answer my question about how things were going but just asked for my advice."
Sherlock nodded and blew out a long breath. "Who else? I have nobody else to talk to. Obviously it isn't something I can discuss with John. He has no clue I've ever had a relationship with her, least of all a child with her."
Mary's lips curled downwards."I'm not sure I understand the secrecy, Sherlock. He's your best friend." There was a note of rebuke in Mary's voice.
Sherlock thought about her words for a moment before responding. "It's complicated. I can't help worrying that John might inadvertently let things slip, and a dangerous situation will ensue. It's the reason I didn't tell him the truth when I faked my death. When it comes to secrecy, John is not a good candidate for it. He's just not capable of deception. First, I needed to keep things quiet about me and Molly because I wanted to protect her and Victoria from Magnussen. Now it's whoever is behind the Moriarty threat. I can't risk anyone trying to get at me through them, now more than ever."
"What's that supposed to mean? Why are you even more worried now?" Mary looked suddenly thoughtful. Then her eyes widened and he heard her sharp intake of air. "Oh my God. You've done it again!"
"Done what?" asked Sherlock, completely bewildered.
"You've gone and got her pregnant again, haven't you?" She arched an accusing eyebrow in his direction as Sherlock felt a flush creep up his face. "I just knew something was off at the christening. She wasn't drinking, she was sick..."
Despite his embarrassment, Sherlock couldn't help giving her an admiring look. "Maybe you should be my assistant, rather than John. He tends to miss the obvious."
"Yeah, like me being pregnant," Mary remarked dryly. "Although, to be fair, I missed the signs myself, thought those missed periods were pre-wedding jitters messing with my hormones. Tell me I'm right, Sherlock," she insisted. "Molly's pregnant, isn't she?"
He sighed heavily. "I am afraid so. When it happened, well, we were in a good place. I was about to get Magnussen put in jail. As soon as that was accomplished I intended to ask her to marry me."
Mary looked at him in astonishment. "I had no idea things were so serious. I mean, I asked you both to be godparents for Rosie because I think you belong together. But I must admit, after hearing John tell me time and time again that you are married to your work, I didn't really think you would be interested in a legal commitment to Molly."
Sherlock frowned. "When I told John that, we had only just met and I was trying to make sure he didn't have any ideas that I might be interested in him as anything other than a flatmate."
A crease formed between Mary's brows and she asked, " why on earth would you have presumed he was gay?"
Sherlock let out a short huff of laughter. "I suppose it was in response to us being at a restaurant and Angelo, the proprietor, assumed we were there on a date, rather than the case it actually was."
Mary shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I suppose that's the way things are these days. Two men can't be seen together without it being assumed they are a couple, rather than just friends."
"Apparently not," responded Sherlock. "Also, John asked if I had a girlfriend and when I said no, that wasn't really my area, he asked if I had a boyfriend. So I kind of assumed that perhaps he was interested and had to set him straight."
Mary laughed out loud at that. "You, the master detective, making assumptions?"
Sherlock gave her an offended look. "Even Mrs. Hudson assumed in the beginning that we wished to be more than flatmates. She asked if John would be needing the second bedroom upstairs."
Mary slapped her knees in delight, causing Rosie to open her eyes, then close them again. Sherlock had the feeling that she would be awake properly soon. "Mrs. Hudson too? My God, she must have really been shocked when she found out Molly was pregnant with your baby, then."
"Undoubtedly so. But make no mistake, she is aware by now that I only want to be with one person, and that is Molly Hooper. I love her and I would do anything for her."
"So how long have you known you loved Molly?" enquired Mary curiously.
Sherlock pursed his lips in thought, considering the question. "If I'm honest with myself, I think I've been in love with her since I met her in our uni days. I wasn't in a place to admit it to myself back then though. I didn't think I was capable of it. Ever since I was a little boy, I felt a disconnect from emotions of that kind, but Molly managed to start breaking down those walls as time passed when we started seeing one another again regularly at Bart's, culminating in her helping me fake my death. That's when I knew I wanted more than friendship with her and obviously, I don't need to spell out exactly what happened between us afterwards."
He took a deep breath, then continued. "Anyway, while I was in exile, I thought about Molly constantly, about coming back to her. She had promised to wait for me for a year, but it took two. As soon as I returned to London I bought a ring. That day you came to find me, when John was kidnapped, I was with Molly earlier. I had planned to take her out for chips and propose, but then I found out she was already engaged. And later she told me we had a child, but she refused to break off her engagement."
Mary stood and walked to the chair, patting Sherlock sympathetically on the shoulder. "So that's why you threw yourself into the planning for my wedding with John - to escape."
"Yes," Sherlock admitted. "When she broke things off with Tom at the end of your wedding reception, we got back together but then the Magnussen thing came along and we've been separating and coming back together ever since. It's like cosmic forces keep pulling us apart by way of these damned cases. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to be a target of any of my enemies that could be out there. And then Molly threw me for a loop when she told me at your place after the christening, that she's pregnant." He bent his head forward and placed it in his hands briefly before straightening again. "I just want everything to be over with so I can move on with my life properly, and I'm scared of losing Molly to someone else while I wait. And now I have another baby on the way to worry about. I just don't know what to do. Help me, Mary. Help me make sense of this." He looked at her desperately.
"For one thing, if this isn't the right time for you to have another child, perhaps you should consider-" her voice trailed off as she obviously noticed the fierce expression on Sherlock's face.
"Don't even go there." He folded his arms. "I want my baby, and so does Molly. It might be awhile before I can acknowledge paternity, but I shall be proud to do so, when the time is right. What I need your help with is in making sure Molly doesn't suddenly decide she'd be better off with another man raising our baby."
"Why would you suddenly feel threatened by the idea that Molly might go off with someone else?" Mary went over to the carseat, where Rosie had awoken and was beginning to grizzle.
"Mrs. Hudson was telling me that that blasted Anderson is sniffing around, and she also pointed out that Molly and I have no formal arrangement, so she is free to see other men if she so pleases," he explained then chewed on his lower lip. "I wanted your advice on how to proceed with Molly, to ensure her loyalty to me. You're a woman. You know these things."
Mary picked up Rosie and remarked, "Personally, I think you're being a drama queen, Sherlock. If Molly has stuck by you this long I doubt she is going anywhere."
"Perhaps so, but I am not willing to just take my chances on that. Why do you think I asked for your help?"
Mary didn't answer immediately. Instead, she sat back down on the sofa and casually lifted her blouse to unhook her bra and feed the baby. Sherlock averted his eyes, embarrassed.
Mary laughed at his obvious distress. "You had better get over the embarrassment of seeing a woman breast-feed if you want your relationship with Molly to be permanent. She told me she breast-fed Victoria for over twelve months."
Sherlock still kept his eyes averted. "Well, it would be different with Molly, of course. I think...I think I'd rather enjoy watching her feed our own baby."
He suddenly realised they had got off-track and returned to the matter at hand. "Please, Mary, what am I going to do about the current situation, to make sure Molly doesn't decide she's better off without me."
Mary , who Sherlock could see from the corner of his eye had been looking down lovingly at her infant, looked up at him. "Here's my advice. You could just bloody well tell her you love her."
Sherlock continued to avoid looking in her direction. "No. I refuse to do that until such time as I can follow a declaration with a proposal of marriage and the protection of my name." Then he added, "Unless of course, she says it first, in which case I would not allow her to labour under the misapprehension that I do not feel the same."
He could have sworn Mary muttered something along the lines of, "God, you're both a pair of bloody, stubborn idiots," but he couldn't be sure, because he was still keeping his gaze steadfastly fixed on John's empty chair. Besides, why on earth would she label Molly an idiot - himself, certainly he could understand, but not Molly. He did hear it though when she said. "Well, I'm sorry, Sherlock. You dismissed my advice, so you're going to have to solve this problem yourself."
Sherlock huffed. Women, he thought, irritated. Why must they always be so annoying?
"Very well," he pouted. "I suppose I shall have to look for answers in my mind palace instead."
He heard Mary chuckle. "You do that."
Sherlock bent forward and rested his elbows on his knees, then steepled his fingers in his usual manner, placing them beneath his chin. He sat in silent contemplation in his mind palace for some time, with his eyes closed. He could vaguely hear the contented suckling noises made by the baby, and he thought about what it would be like to hear them coming from his child suckling at Molly's breast. The thought both excited and frightened him. Was he really ready to deal with a newborn? He had certainly not been very comfortable as of yet with Rosie. He supposed though it would be somewhat different with his own child. He forced himself to get back to the task at hand. Suddenly he hit upon the perfect answer. He just needed to define his relationship with Molly properly, so that she knew he wanted to be only with her and expected her to afford him the same courtesy. Yes, it was brilliant!
He heard the rustling sound of Mary replacing her blouse and knew Rosie had finished feeding. He opened his eyes to see Mary holding the infant up and patting her back, after which the baby gave a satisfying little burp. Fascinating, he thought, instantly envisioning Molly doing the same with their own baby.
"So, did you find some clarity in your mind palace?" asked Mary mildly.
"I most certainly did," he affirmed proudly. "I will make sure Molly knows I am serious about her and our future and I know exactly how to prove it."
Mary walked to him with Rosie, leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Without a declaration of love or a proposal? Good luck wit that and I hope it all works out. God knows, I'll be happy when you finally let John in on it. I can't wait to see his reaction. Seriously though, he'll probably give you a well deserved punch in the face for keeping things from him again. In any case, you deserve to be happy, Sherlock. Now kiss your goddaughter goodbye and I'll be going."
Sherlock dutifully kissed the infant and then kissed Mary's cheek as well. "Thank you for coming, Mary."
"You're most welcome." She situated Rosie in her carseat and was just about to leave the flat, when a knock sounded at the door.
A cheery voice said, "It's just me!" and Mrs. Hudson came in with Victoria. "Oh, hello, Mary. How nice to see you, and little Rosie too."
Victoria had gone to the infant in her carseat and was looking at her in fascination, placing a gentle finger to the baby's cheek. Then she looked up at Sherlock. "Pwetty baby."
Sherlock scooped up his daughter. "Almost as pretty as you, sweet pea." He looked at Mary and grinned. "Sorry, I'm a bit biased."
Mary chuckled. "You're allowed to be."
"Our baby?" questioned Victoria with interest.
Sherlock shook his head. "No. Auntie Mary had a baby in her tummy and now the baby is here. Her name is Rosamund."
"Wosmund," said his daughter, trying out the name.
Mary smiled and ruffled her brown hair. "That's right, but you can call her Rosie. Well, Rosie and I must be going now. Bye, bye, Victoria, love."
"Bye Auntie Mary, bye Wosie," responded Victoria.
Mary then made her farewells to Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson and left the flat.
Mrs. Hudson spoke after Mary had gone. "I came upstairs to see if you wanted to have lunch with your daughter and myself."
"Ah, yes, that would be fine," replied Sherlock. He was feeling rather hungry actually. "I do have a couple clients this afternoon, but lunch would be good."
Sherlock took Victoria's hand and they went downstairs behind Mrs. Hudson. "And what have you been up to, sweet pea?" he asked, once they entered his landlady's flat.
She pointed to a block alphabet puzzle on the kitchen table. "I know all those." Sherlock walked with her over to the table and she starred pointing out the letters of the alphabet. Yes, she is truly a gifted child, he thought with pride.
"I'm proud of you. Can you make any words with the letters?" At her nod, he set her down on the chair. "You make Daddy some words and I will talk with Nanny for a minute."
Victoria obediently began to pull alphabet letters out of the puzzle while Sherlock said in a low voice to Mrs. Hudson. "Would you mind keeping Victoria a bit longer today? I need to discuss something with Molly when she arrives to pick her up after work."
"I hope that means you have been thinking about what I said earlier," remarked Mrs. Hudson.
"Indeed I have, and I intend to make things very clear to Molly about where things stand between us," he confided and his landlady looked pleased.
"Well, of course, dear. Take as long as you need. I love being with Victoria. She is such a good child. Rather easier to look after than you have been at times." She gave him an indulgent smile and Sherlock chuckled.
"I know. I have acted rather childishly in the past, but I'm trying to act more like a father these days."
"I can see that." She patted his arm affectionately.
Sherlock looked over at his daughter, who had arranged several words - cat, we, go, ma. He was sure if she had more letters she could have done more. "Great job, Victoria," he praised, and the toddler beamed.
After lunch, Sherlock headed back upstairs to await his clients. He sent off a quick text to Molly first.
When you come to pick up Victoria, please come up and see me first. I need to speak with you. Mrs. Hudson will watch Victoria a little longer.
She responded quickly. Is everything okay?
Everything's fine, he responded in a further text. I'll see you when you get here. Door will be unlocked so come right up.
He smiled slightly as he waited for his first client to arrive, decision made. It was time to define his relationship with Molly.
Author's note: So, Sherlock has finally found some clarity. What do you think he is going to tell Molly?
Did you enjoy his conversation with Mary? I feel certain that if things had transpired this way, where Sherlock was already involved with Molly, he would have turned to Mary for advice because she was his friend and could offer the female perspective.
Did you catch the muttered remark by Mary that Sherlock couldn't quite understand? If you recall, Mary and Molly have already talked, and now Mary knows both sides of the story, that they both love one another, but also knows it is not her place to betray their confidences. She definitely wants them to work things out though! Can you imagine being in that situation?
Thanks to those of you who show you care about my writing with your thoughtful reviews! Your support, as always, means so much.
