Chapter Twenty Nine – Bella
For the next four days, work had been nothing but a hassle, an unwelcome interruption to our lazy, blissful routine. Edward always woke up before me and my alarm, got the coffee ready, and cooked breakfast – a different thing each day – to show off his newly-found culinary skills. Then we left the apartment together – me to rehearsals, and him to wander around. When I was back, we either went out to dinner, or he had dinner waiting for me, and we spent the evening in front of the TV with him massaging my feet. It was something he'd done for me at home during rehearsal periods at school; I didn't realize how much I missed it until he did it again.
Since we weren't performing, I had Saturday off. Edward and I spent almost the entire day outside. I wanted to show him as much of the city as possible. I hardly got a chance to do that recently, just be the tourist that I had sometimes longed to be. We took long walks along the Thames and Oxford Street, we saw the Queen's guards switch at the Palace, we visited the market in Covent Garden; we even fed birds in St. James Park. In the evening we went to see a musical with Ivan, and met my friends at the pub later. They all got along really well, despite my fears Edward wouldn't like them. Even Ivan behaved himself, which was rare.
Today was different, not just because I woke up before he did, but because there was nowhere to rush to. It was Sunday. I smiled to myself, propping myself on one elbow so I could have a better look at him. He was laying on his back, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. Auburn hair fell carelessly against his forehead. His long eyelashes barely grazed his skin. I let my eyes wander along his prominent jaw, his chin, his five o'clock shadow, his full lips, curled in the tiniest of smiles, as if he was dreaming. My smile widened an inch. It seemed yesterday wore him out.
A shift on his side made me break out of my reverie. He sighed, and groaned. "Why are you staring at me?" His eyes were still close as he asked it, but his eyelids fluttered as if he struggled to keep them shut. His voice was raspy, sending a shiver through me.
"I'm not staring."
"I can feel it." The sheets rustled as he rolled on his side to face me. His emerald eyes – still fogged with sleep – lit up when they met mine, although he tried to hide it with a scowl. "What?"
I wanted to come up with something witty or seductive, something that would be a good enough justification for my shameless gawking, but all I could think of was the truth. "You're sort of beautiful."
But instead of returning my smile, he rolled his eyes. "Just how much did you drink last night, Bella?" I felt like sticking my tongue at him, but he yawned before I decided to go with it. "Go back to sleep."
"Hmm, I don't feel very sleepy anymore."
"Fine. I'll go back to sleep so you can stare some more."
With that he rolled to his back and closed his eyes again. I scooted closer and climbed on top of him. His eyes snapped open and a gasp escaped him as I leaned over to press my lips to the skin beneath his ear. "I liked it better when your eyes were open," I whispered. I was close enough to hear him gulp in response. I trailed my lips along his jaw, deliberately slow, and pressed myself against him when his hands came to rest on my waist. I placed a brief, teasing kiss on his lips and grinned at him as I pulled away. He looked displeased.
"Hmm. I don't think so," was all he said before his lips came crushing against mine.
For the millionth time in the past four days, I found myself wondering how I had managed to live without it for so long. The only sound in the room was the whisper of sheets, the wet hiss of our lips as they moved in synch against one another, and a breathless giggle every now and again. It was when he pinned me to the bed that another sound – brutal in its loudness – tore into the silence.
"What the hell?" Edward rasped as I pushed him off me to turn the alarm off. He sat up and leaned against the bed board, breathless and exasperated, his hair a mess. "Why did you set an alarm on a friggin' Sunday?"
"Because," I said, reclaiming my place on his lap, "I want to surprise Emily and bake cupcakes, and it takes time." I flashed him a grin before I pressed my lips to his collarbone.
"Oh, I see," he murmured, gently pushing me backwards as he brought his own lips to my neck. "Just so I understand," he said, placing a kiss on the hollow of my throat, "You're actually saying," another kiss, to my pulse point, "You prefer cupcakes," one more, on my jaw, "Over," one to the corner of my lips, "Me?"
He didn't wait for my reply as he kissed me, hard. It shouldn't have surprised me so much, but it had. It took all I had to pull away from him. "Normally I wouldn't," I managed, and grinned at him once I got my frenzied breathing under control. "Would you pass the chance of making a little girl happy?"
"I already made her happy," he pointed out smugly. "I got her mother back."
"Nice try, smartass," I laughed, and pulled him out of bed. "Let's get to work."
xoxox
I thought we did well with those cupcakes. They looked about right, which was a good thing already. For the past few days I'd been kept away from the kitchen with Edward doing the most – if not all – the cooking. It felt nice to be taken care of, for a change. I hadn't realized it, but in a way, up until now he had been just another person to look after, as far as cleaning and cooking went, like Charlie or Renée. But after spending so much time with Claire, I hoped we were heading towards a change.
We were meeting Nathan, Claire and Emily in Regent Park, which was quite a long journey from my place, but the only park I hadn't got a chance to show Edward yet. We did half the way on foot so we would have less changes to make on the way. It was such a gorgeous day, too; bright blue sky with feathery clouds dotting it here and there. It seemed a waste to spend a day like that underground.
It took us longer than I'd estimated, so when we finally reached the park, I could already see them. They settled close to the lake. Nathan was sitting on a quilt they'd spread on the grass, engrossed in reading, as always. Claire and Emily were a short distance off by the water's edge, feeding ducks. I halted at the sight of them. I couldn't get over the shock I felt upon first seeing Claire for the first time a few days ago. Now, standing next to Emily, it was twice as striking. They looked so much alike. I was almost ashamed of the tears I could feel stinging my eyes.
My gaze focused on Emily. I was really anxious about her reception of Claire, and although Nathan had told me on the phone things were going well, it was something I needed to see with my own eyes. I watched her carefully now. Her body language didn't suggest resentment; on the contrary. She seemed really comfortable around Claire. And Claire didn't seem awkward as I'd almost expected her to be, still struggling to adjust her new role. Nathan was right. It was as if she'd never left, as if they'd known each other for the past seven years, not just five days.
"Bella!"
There was a flash of red and a swift motion forward, and then my hand was forced out of Edward's as Emily charged at me, nearly knocking me over with a hug. "Why, hi there," I giggled, steadying her. It had been about a week since I'd last seen her; her exuberance sort of caught me off-guard.
"Where have you been? We waited and waited – we thought you weren't coming!"
"Nope, running a little late, is all," I replied, ruffling her hair.
"You'll never guess what happened – "
"Emily, let her breathe," Claire – suddenly next to us – laughed as she took a hold on her erratic daughter. We didn't manage to say as much as a 'hi' to her when Emily's attention was already diverted.
"Are you Edward?"
"Yes, I am."
She gave him this scrutinizing look. "You're taller than I thought," she mused. "Did you really find my mommy?"
"I think she sort of found me," he replied, exchanging a grin with Claire. "It's really nice to meet you, Emily. I heard so much about you," he said, stretching out his hand for her. She seemed impressed. Her small hand all but disappeared in his as they shook hands.
"We have a good reason for being late – I've got a surprise for you," I told her. "Remember those cupcakes we had on your birthday?"
Her eyes grew huge with understanding. "You found them?"
"Better," I grinned, "We baked them."
This got her all excited. As we walked over to where Nathan was sitting, she shot questions at both Edward and me about those cupcakes we made. Somehow he kept up with her; I found myself wondering if this was how Alice had been when they were younger, or whether he was now experienced around kids because of his new job at the community center. Edward wasn't a great talker, and I feared that Emily's enthusiasm would stun him into silence. Somehow, it had the opposite effect.
Seeing Nathan was another shock. He looked better than I'd ever seen him before. It was as if once he got Claire back, a burden fell off his shoulders, and he allowed himself to live again. I introduced him and Edward, realizing only in that moment that I hadn't before. I feared it would be awkward, for Nathan and Edward, for me and Claire, but it wasn't. Emily was quite an ice breaker, too. Nathan said she could have one cupcake before lunch, and she settled ours were better than the ones we had on her birthday. Claire teased Edward about trying to bake without her, and told Emily her grandmother once taught her how to make cupcakes. This got Emily all worked up, of course, and she didn't let go of the subject until Claire promised her they could try baking them sometime. And all the while Nathan was sitting there watching them with what could only be described as disbelief.
We had lunch when the sun was in the middle of the sky. Afterwards I lay my head on Edward's lap and closed my eyes, basking in the sunlight. It had been a while since I could afford to do just that, lazying about and doing nothing. It felt as if I'd been running around ever since I got here almost a year ago. Edward's fingers were combing through my hair, which only added to my drowsiness. Over my head, he was discussing academic issues with Nathan. Claire intercepted their conversation with teasing comments every now and again. Emily was a short way off by the lake, by the sound of it. I kept my eyes close, just listening. As the breeze blew into my hair, I felt myself being pulled deeper and deeper into sleep. I guess I wasn't completely asleep though; at some point their conversation shifted to me.
"Is she asleep?" asked Nathan, and there was clear amusement in his question.
"Seems like it," Edward replied, and there was the gentlest poke on my side. I chose to ignore it. "Wouldn't be the first time."
"It's your fault. If anything, it means you need to speak about something else besides school." I couldn't decide if Claire's scolding was meant for Edward, or Nathan, or both.
"There's no reason to switch topics now; she's asleep already," Nathan contradicted her.
"I'm awake," I managed, and forced myself to open my eyes. The sunlight was right in my face; I squinted.
"Are you, really?" The sun made a sort of a halo around Edward's head as he looked down at me, chuckling.
"Yes," I said, sitting up to make my point. I still felt a little disoriented though, so I thought I'd better move around a little. I tugged on Edward's hand. "Come take a walk with me."
He seemed sort of surprised, but let me pull him up without protesting. I told Nathan we would be right back, and we were off. But we didn't manage four steps forward before Emily spotted us and called out my name. I heard Edward snigger as his hand slipped into mine.
"Where are you going?" she asked when she caught up with us. There was curiosity in the breathless query.
"I was going to show Edward around," I told her, and paused. I knew what the right thing to do was. As much as I wanted to be alone with him, I couldn't bear the thought of upsetting her. "You can come too, if you want," I said, throwing a glance at Edward. His subtle nod didn't escape me. I was relieved he understood what I was trying to do.
"Really?" She seemed eager and hesitant at the same time, as if she sensed by instinct she might be intruding.
"Sure," Edward spoke before I managed to reply. "You could lead the tour."
"Two guides at the price of one?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. He just shrugged. "We won't be working for free, you know."
"Good thing I brought my wallet with me, then," he flashed a crooked smile at me, patting the front pocket of his jeans.
"Go tell Daddy you're coming with us," I urged her, and watched her as she hurried towards the place Nathan and Claire still occupied. When we were left alone, I turned to face Edward. "Thank you."
"For what?"
I poked his side gently. "I wanted to be alone with you, too."
He laughed softly at my sheepish confession. "Claire said I should prepare myself for competition. Maybe if I gain her sympathy I won't have to fight for you."
"If it's any comfort, you've never had to fight for me; you'll never have to," I assured him, pressing a kiss to his lips. He quickly pulled away as if he heard Emily's returning footsteps.
Despite their supposed stance as enemies, Edward and Emily hit it off quite well. It felt as if they hadn't stopped talking since we took off. They went from his musical training to what it was like to be an uncle, to an elaborate tale about Sophie, the Cullens' dog. He answered all her questions patiently and at length as we crossed Queen Mary's Gardens in the center of the park. He was holding my hand the entire time, and Emily strolled alongside us, closer to his side, her eyes never leaving him as he spoke. She seemed completely besotted, as I'd expected her to be.
Eventually we entered the Broad Walk, the large avenue that eventually led to the Zoo. There were more people there, mostly gathered around a small café that was shaped like a wooden cabin. Signs hanging outside the cabin advertised ice cream and cold drinks. We had lunch not too long ago, but a sudden craving for something sweet didn't let me go.
I didn't realize I halted until I felt a tug on my hand. I blinked and found Edward's eyes on mine. Concern was clear beyond the mischief I found there. "What?" His gaze followed mine, and then averted to Emily. "Looks like it's time I pay my tour guides," he told her, grinning. "How does ice cream sound?" He didn't wait for her reply, but took out a ten pound bill and handed it to her. "Get anything you want."
She took the money, somewhat dazed. It was as if she'd never held so much money before. "Shall I get you something too?" she asked eventually.
"Nothing for me. Bella?" His lips twitched in the tiniest of smiles.
"Coke float, please," I smiled at her as she seriously nodded. She was familiar with my most recent addiction, Coke with vanilla ice cream, something I'd never tried at home. It had never looked appealing, and I'd always preferred smoothies anyway. "We'll be right here, okay?" She nodded one more time, and sprinted towards the café. "You're playing dirty," I told Edward without taking my eyes off Emily. This was why I hadn't noticed him move until I felt his arm snaking around my waist.
"I never promised to play fair."
"But that's over the top. You really shouldn't do this to people."
"Do what?" he smiled obliviously.
"Dazzle people like that. You probably screwed up her love life for good."
He chuckled, and held me a little closer as he gave me a teasing look. "Do I dazzle you?"
I held his gaze without flinching despite my flaring cheeks. "Frequently."
The sudden playful glimmer in his eyes suggested it was an issue he wanted to dwell on, but from the corner of my eye I caught sight of Emily, struggling to get her order off the counter. I untangled myself from his grip, and hurried inside to help her.
By the time I was back, the two of them found a vacant bench a little way off the café, along the avenue. I could feel Edward's eyes on me as I took a seat next to him, quickly setting on the plastic cup I held. The ice cream floated on top, coated by the brownish-gold foam of the coke. His expression turned horrified, almost disgusted, as he observed its content.
"What the hell?" he asked, laughing.
"Coke and ice cream," I shrugged.
"Is it just me, or did you really vow three summers ago there was no way you were going to try it?"
"Bella loves it!" Emily informed him before she took another mouthful of her ice cream.
"It's actually not as bad as I used to think," I admitted sheepishly.
"I suppose I have to share it with you since I didn't get any ice cream?" His eyes were leering at me.
"You can, if you want," I said, pushing the cup almost into his face. He made a whole show out of closing his eyes before he took a sip. Then he coughed and pulled the cup away from him, laughing. A drop of Coke dribbled on his chin. I resisted the urge to kiss it clean. Instead I pulled my most innocent expression as I wiped his chin with my thumb. His eyes were very dark all of a sudden, smoldering. I slowly removed my thumb, keeping my eyes on his the entire time. He gulped.
"Now who's playing dirty," he murmured in my ear, so low it escaped Emily's hearing.
"You love it."
"I do." His grin was coy. I thought he turned slightly red, but then again it could have been a trick of the sun.
"Edward, do you know how to fly a kite?" Emily's question put an end to our wordless dialogue.
"I used to," he replied, reluctantly tearing his eyes from mine.
On our way back, she made him speak endlessly about his history with kite flying. At that point he sheepishly admitted it was Emmett doing the logistical job with the kite they owned as kids. He just liked watching them fly. By the time we joined Nathan and Claire, she told Edward all about her dance lessons. She told me about the new moves she learned just the other day, and demonstrated in front of all of us once we were back.
"She's good," said Claire when we were left alone; Emily got Edward to go and feed the ducks with her. "I can't believe I missed all that."
"You'll be catching on in no time," I assured her. I let my gaze linger on Edward in the distance before I turned to look at Claire again. "So what are you going to do? Are you staying?"
The look that passed between her and Nathan didn't escape me. "I'm leaving with Edward in a few days until I get everything in New York sorted. And then I'll be back. For good." She looked straight at Nathan when she said it. For a second, it was as if I didn't exist.
"We, umm, were wondering if you'll be willing to serve as a witness," Nathan told me then. He must have read the confusion in my expression; he laughed softly as if his request should have made sense to me. "We're getting married as soon as Claire is back."
"Nothing flashy, just the city hall," Claire added as I gaped at the two of them, astonished although I really shouldn't have been.
"Bella?" Nathan's smile was wider now.
"Of course," I stammered, blinking to send the sudden tears away. "I'll be honored."
And this was when I knew that no matter what happened, no matter how many unresolved issues Edward and I still had left to work out, everything would be fine. If Nathan and Claire had managed overcome whatever issues they had, if they loved each other enough to leave the past behind them and never look back, if they put their confidence in the future and in each other, then so could we.
xoxox
Edward's imminent departure – just a day away – completely sucked the liveliness out of me. I couldn't believe we only had one more day together. The thought alone was excruciating. I never wanted him to leave. He came to get me from rehearsals; we were going out for dinner. A little over a week into his stay, everyone in the company had known him quite well by now, and they all stopped on their way out to say something to him when they spotted him waiting for me. Ivan seemed especially reluctant to let him go.
"I'm sorry, he's unstoppable," I laughed when we were left alone. Edward returned my smile and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him gratefully.
I didn't have a chance to ask where we were heading when I heard my name being called. I looked over my shoulder, and Philippa stood in the middle of the hallway, prim and tall as always. She barely even smiled as she beckoned me forward. "A word, please?"
I knew her well enough not to be intimidated by her stern poise, although I couldn't help but wonder what she wanted. Edward slowly released me, and said he'd wait for me outside. I fought the urge to ask him to wait there with me, telling myself I was being silly. Instead I nodded, and walked over to her sort of fretfully. It wasn't like her to stop any of us on the way out. I couldn't help but wonder what she could possibly want with me.
xoxox
About two hours later, I was still dazed from what Philippa had told me. My hands were still shaking, and I had to keep them hidden in my coat pockets so that Edward wouldn't notice. He definitely sensed something was up, though. I hardly said five words during dinner, and I caught him watching me with concern every now and again. I was too distracted by my racing thought process to be bothered.
Although I was stunned, everything was so incredibly lucid. If two hours ago our future was under a heavy mist of uncertainty, it was all gone now. With just a few words, Philippa had managed to make it all perfect again, dropping the solution to our problem right into my outstretched hands. I knew exactly what I wanted to do, what I had to do, but I wanted to do this right. I was still stalling at the restaurant, too distracted by laying out my plan, but now, back in the crisp air of London in twilight, I was ready to set it out.
I couldn't have chosen better scenery if I'd planned it. It was too early to head home, so Edward suggested we'd take a walk along the Thames. On the opposite bank, the Big Ben and the parliament buildings were already lit although it wasn't completely dark yet, jewels in the midst of the falling evening. The sky was a wild mixture of pinks, oranges and purples. Like a postcard – that first one I'd sent him months ago.
His silence echoed mine. Maybe he thought I was upset with his departure. Maybe he was occupied with wondering what was on my mind. Either way, he didn't question me, just held me close as we walked forward in a slow pace. I knew he could feel the way my heart was racing, but I didn't mind it much, nor did I try to hide it. He'd know soon enough.
There were a few people around – children, tourists, lovers – none of them too close to us. Now was good as any other time. But as soon as I opened my mouth, no sound came out. The number of butterflies in my stomach increased, as did my heartbeat. Was that how it felt for him nearly a year ago? I remembered it vaguely now, through the mist of my own panic; the way he stuttered, and laughed nervously, and ran his hand through his hair. If I hoped this was going to be seamless, I'd just proven myself wrong. I was confident about this step I was going to make; there was no reason to be so flustered, and yet I was.
"Will you marry me?"
I didn't realize I had actually asked it until he suddenly halted. His hand dropped from around my waist as he stared down at me wide-eyed. "W-what?" he stammered. Disbelief ruled in his voice, in his eyes, even in his posture somehow. It was as if he was waiting for me to take it back.
Well, I wasn't going to.
"You heard me." My tone carried this challenging sneer. It didn't lighten the atmosphere like I hoped it would. He looked just as confused.
"But I thought you didn't want to… I mean, you said… I mean, coming here…"
"I wanted to come here because I wanted to find my way, and I think I have. I think we both have."
He didn't respond to that, just looked at me, studying my face carefully. "This has to do with what Philippa has just told you." It wasn't a question. I nodded, barely able to contain my smile now. "Well?"
"Well," I started slowly. "You know how I got the audition for this company because Madame La Pierre was close with Philippa Logan? Apparently, Philippa has friends in the New York City Ballet, too. The two companies are sort of… partners, I guess. When one company is short in dancers, it can… borrow dancers from the other company. Sort of like a student exchange. It's easier and cheaper for them than start an audition round, so they try recruiting people this way first."
I used the simplest words to lay it out for him. I couldn't waste time on getting technical. I wanted the back story out of my way, at least. He nodded as if he understood, but he didn't seem to get my drift yet.
"This morning, Philippa got a phone call from her friends at the New York City Ballet. One of their ensemble dancers has been involved in a car accident. She's badly injured, and they don't think she'll be back there any time soon. They got an understudy who has already stepped in for her, but from what they see in rehearsals so far, it won't be a long-termed thing." I looked up. "Philippa asked if I would be willing to step in for her. She turned to me first because I was a local and she knew my contract terminates in July." I paused for a breath. "I told her I'd do it. I'm joining them in September."
Now he looked panicked. "But you said you wanted to stay with the company."
"That's why this plan is so brilliant. I am staying with the company. I'm sort of a guest performer in the New York City Ballet. Legally I'll still be bound to the English National Ballet by contract. I'll still be a part of it. I'll be promoted according to their ranks, not the New York City Ballet's. I just won't live here, only when they ask for me."
"So… you'll continue to work for the English National Ballet but dance for the New York City Ballet for as long as they need you to?"
"Exactly."
"Why September, though?"
"They start a new production in September. Since I'm only going back in July, the understudy will finish the current production. It's less messy. And I can start with them from scratch."
"But what happens when their original dancer comes back?"
I shook my head. My newly-found happiness was this girl's tragedy. "According to what I understood from Philippa, she's not going to dance for a very long time. I might be promoted by then, so technically I won't be taking her spot if they ever take her back."
"You said you wouldn't have to live here unless they asked for you?"
I nodded. "I'll still have to come over here every now and again, but for a month or two, never more. And like you said, you'll be so busy at school; you won't notice I'm gone."
"Is this why you're doing this, Bella?" His eyes were suddenly darker, urgent on mine. "This is your career we're talking about here. Just a few weeks ago you told me you wanted to stay here. I don't want you to choose something against your will just because I'm – "
His voice trailed off when I closed the small distance that had suddenly formed between us, and pressed myself closer to him. "I love my job, but I love you more. Nathan told me a few weeks ago there was always a compromise, and he was right. This is a compromise, but it's one I'm willing to make because I can't live through another year of being away from you." I let him absorb this before I continued. "Now, I know we agreed not to bother ourselves with what happens in July and afterwards, but this job offer is an opportunity, and… well, you still haven't answered my question," I ended a little sheepishly, and poked him gently. "I really don't know why you're so surprised. I did say I'd marry you." I tried to appear nonchalant and over-confident, but the truth was that panic began to sip in. What if he changed his mind? What if this silence meant indecision? What if, after everything that happened, he didn't want to marry me after all?
He said nothing for the longest time, and once again I was brought back to the day he proposed and I turned him down. Was he holding his breath too when I stalled? His face gave nothing away – not joy, or anger, or regret. His brow was set in the tiniest of frowns as if he was considering my question, his reply, his refusal…? I had to remind myself to breathe.
And then, suddenly, a smile broke his somber expression. "Ask it again," he pleaded, his voice nearly a whisper.
The air whooshed out of me; I literally staggered. Relief surged through me, so instant it made me gasp. I could feel my own lips curl into a huge smile when I tightened my grip around his neck and inched even closer, locking my eyes on his. "Edward Anthony Cullen, will you marry me?"
He was smiling openly now, and there was not a hint of doubt when he replied. "Yes. Yes, I will."
There was so much I wanted to tell him, so many emotions I couldn't fathom or contain, but suddenly I was speechless. He chuckled as if he knew exactly how I felt. Our lips met instead, saying everything words had failed to. And just like that, on the river bank of a city that was close to destroying us, Edward and I were engaged.
A/N – for those of you who are wondering, the English National Ballet and New York City Ballet being partners of sorts = completely fictional, but quite likely, I think. It served my purpose well so I used it – thanks Rachey for coming up with it! The story is now taking a short break for the sake of a few outtakes before the final chapter. I want to post them in sequence instead of later, so head over to Forever and a Day (link is in my profile), and keep up those awesome reviews. I'm always happy to know what you think :)
