I am going away for a few weeks from tomorrow so posting will be a little erratic but I promise to do all I can to keep the stories coming. Thanks to all who have sent best wishes for John, we are hoping this vacation may help. Thanks also to all who read and review, it is appreciated. Love Jules xx
Chapter Twenty Nine
Jasper
I felt bad about the way Alice and the girls were treating Bella but felt guilty because it was all my fault. If I hadn't been in a position where I needed Bella's help then we would never have met and I wouldn't have found myself with feelings for another woman. I knew I should forget all about Bella and concentrate on making Alice happy but it was hard, very hard, as I couldn't stop thinking about her. I only felt complete when she was close and that was wrong but I couldn't help myself trying to include her in everything we did but that just made matters even worse with Alice.
She wouldn't leave me again which meant everything Bella did she was watched by critical eyes and I felt so sorry for her. Alice went out of her way to be provocative at every opportunity even though I gave her all of my affection and gave her all my attention. I continued to involve Bella if only because I had no choice but every word to her or action towards her was followed by more of Alice's vitriol and I was beginning to get annoyed by her actions.
Carlisle
I noticed how quiet and withdrawn Bella had become since the fight in the bedroom. It was as if she were a shade, a ghost lurking at the fringes of our consciousness afraid to be seen and shrinking from any interaction. I didn't blame her, the girls were hardly making her time here pleasant but despite my criticism they continued to treat Bella like a leper. The following evening I was ready for more trouble, Bella's night time routine always irked Alice but she needed to sleep and Jasper had to be close so I didn't see how it could be altered.
Alice was quiet all evening watching Bella from the corner of her eye but Bella hardly seemed to notice speaking only when addressed directly which wasn't often or when she needed to leave the room, alerting Jasper to her need so he could stay close. I noticed they didn't make eye contact any more, in fact Bella was freezing us all out maintaining minimal contact even with him. As it started to get late, close to Bella's usual time for bed Alice got up and stretched looking at Jasper who hadn't said a word for hours and grabbed his arm,
"Jazz come on I need to get some air. Lets go for a walk."
I expected Jasper to balk at this, after all it was late and Bella was hardly dressed for walking but he took Alice's hand and looked guiltily at Bella,
"Do you mind? Its a beautiful night"
Bella looked at him without expression,
"No, its fine."
She pushed past Alice ignoring the angry hiss and grabbed Jasper's thick jacket from the back of the door,
"This will do."
She shrugged it on then looked at Alice,
"Shall we go?"
I had the feeling that Jasper had made his decision in favor of Alice and Bella knew it, and was resigned to it, although my own doubts were growing every day. I wasn't at all sure any longer that Bella had been wrong about Jasper being her mate. I had tried to talk calmly and sensibly to Esme but Alice had her wrapped around her little finger just as she had Edward and Rosalie, Emmett was the only one seeing any sense these days.
Bella
I was seething and hurting under my calm exterior, sick of Alice's shit and of Jasper's stupid attempt to keep us all friendly. Didn't he understand there could be no friendship? I was here for his protection and his wife was treating me like a piece of crap while the others acted as if I were a leper. Well he was my mate whatever the others thought or said, of that I had no doubt.
My greatest sorrow was my understanding that he was trying to do the right thing by his wife. He had married her and I think he even deceived himself into believing she loved him but I could tell she didn't. He was merely a trophy she wasn't willing to relinquish. He'd made his intentions crystal clear in the note but I wondered what would he do when they finally found and neutralized the vampire attacking him. Would he be able to watch his mate walk away? Would he stay with the harridan he was married to? Did he have any idea how much it hurt me watching that bitch drape herself all over my mate? Did he even care?
Our walk went on for two hours around the lake and by the time we got back I was sore footed and exhausted not to mention cold but I wasn't about to let her know that. Jasper looked at the clock as we went in to the hall then turned to me,
"You must be exhausted, come on I'll go up so you can sleep."
"Surely she can sleep on the couch just as easily then you and I can watch a movie on cable. Gone with the Wind is on and I know you love that film."
Great, two and a half hours of a film I'd seen at least twice while Alice fooled around with her husband just to annoy me. Well I'd signed up for the job so these were the breaks.
"Fine I can sleep on the couch no problem"
I looked at her blankly and took my place curled up on the couch, it was preferable to having her scowl at me in bed all night in any case. I was still wearing his jacket, I couldn't bear to take it off and then he draped one of the throws gently over me much to Alice's disgust. Little did she know how much I would have liked to throw it back in his face.
I didn't want his pity, I wanted his love. They settled into the chair next to me and I was only too aware of Jasper's hand laying on the arm only inches from my face but if I opened my eyes I would see her kissing and fondling my mate and I couldn't bear that. I heard him trying to dissuade her from her ever more demanding caresses but she was nothing if not persistent and I closed my eyes once more as I heard a zipper.
Jasper
As Alice cuddled up close and started fondling me I felt only embarrassment for Bella. Did she really think I was going to take her here in the chair with Bella only a few feet away? Especially as I knew she wasn't even asleep just pretending. I pushed Alice's hands away for the third time and straightened up glancing over to see Bella had turned away from us to face the back of the sofa. Was she giving us some illusion of privacy? No, she was hurting and that was down to me.
"Jazz, its been so long. Don't you desire me any longer? Why don't you sit back and relax, let me give you one of my master blow jobs? Bella's asleep, besides its her own fault, she insists on sticking to us like glue."
"Alice, don't be so thoughtless, Bella has no option but to stay in the same room as me. I think we should give her a little consideration don't you? Besides I'm not into voyeurism."
"Well that's OK I wasn't suggesting she and I get it on while you watched, this is strictly husband and wife time."
"Alice I can't"
The truth was I didn't want to, I couldn't face making love to my wife and that made me even more guilty. I had married her, pledged to stay with her until the end of time, could I break that vow? Break her heart? My problem was that I thought maybe my own heart would break if I was separated from Bella, I recognized what she meant to me but honor wouldn't allow me to divorce my wife, after all, Alice hadn't done anything wrong, at least not enough to deserve being abandoned. My honor was all I had left and I had to be true to it however much that hurt, almost as much as writing the note that Bella had handed back with shaking fingers after reading. It had been almost impossible to write and I was beginning to think it might be impossible to keep to as well.
