Hey guys! Sorry for the haywire updating- Avengers and Movies is delayed as I changed from Titanic to Batman Begins- was easier to find a decent script in the end! Will be uploaded either tomorrow, or at the weekend! Life is so annoying atm. _
Today, the gang play:
Crash Course
I watched Smosh's gamebang of this- I want this game so bad it hurts!
Warning: Balls jokes
Enjoy!
The Avengers assembled once more in the living room, after a satisfactory meal of take-out Shawarma for dinner. All in their pyjamas, they spent some time debating over what to play. Loki suggested Crash Course. The others discussed before agreeing. Tony, as always, set up the game. Wearing the same type of pyjamas, but in green and purple (Clint loves purple), Clint and Loki started up another round of small balls jokes just to piss of Steve.
"Your balls are so small, bacteria laugh at them." Clint smirked.
"Your dick's so small, you could screw a pasta strainer." Loki spoke loudly with a straight face.
Steve promptly spat on his drink. Clint guffawed, whilst Tony laughed like a walrus. Everyone except poor Steve burst out laughing, Loki almost dying with laughter, him and Clint kicking their legs up in the air as they laughed. It took them several moments to calm themselves.
"That is offensive." Steve was red.
"Well, the doctor did say you had a small problem, Steven." Loki smirked.
Clint slapped his legs as he laughed.
"Brother!" Thor laughed uproariously. "YOU MAKE ME LAUGH!"
"I try." Loki wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes.
Tony handed the remote controller to Loki, as carefully as one would handle a holy grail. You could practically hear the chorus as he handed it to the trickster.
"King of Small Balls Jokes, I present you with this trophy." Tony barely held in his laughter as he spoke.
"Thank you." Loki nodded curtly.
The game resembled Total Wipeout, and you had to navigate your character around the course without falling off. They decided that whoever took the longest lost, and had to do twenty thrustful thrusts. Naked. In front of Fury. And Maria.
Tony shrugged when the gang raised their eyebrows at his idea of the losing penalty.
Loki's character charged down the ramp, leaping into the air as he seized a rope, and swung to the next one with ease, Bruce making Tarzan noises as Loki navigated the ropes easily. Thor gave a war cry as Loki's character ran down a large runway with swinging huge hammers. Clint started up the small ball's jokes again.
"Steve?" Clint asked.
"Yes?" Steve asked.
"Your dick's so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove." Clint spluttered.
Loki's character was knocked off course by a paintball as the trickster started laughing.
"Fuck you, man." He glared at Clint.
"Come on, you love it!" Clint grinned; proud of his joke.
Loki rolled his eyes, and his character jumped up several ramps, before floating across a devastating drop, which made Pepper and Jane shriek. Natasha rolled her eyes.
"Your dick is so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong." Loki turned to Steve.
"I LOVE YOU!" Clint declared as he pointed at Loki, laughing so much he was nearly purple. "IN A TOTALLY NOT GAY WAY! I JUST THINK YOU'RE AWESOME!"
"Keep kidding yourself, Barton." Steve retorted.
"Ooooh BURNNNN!" Bruce and Thor bellowed.
"Apply cold water to area of burn." Jane pitched in.
Loki paused the game, having since finished the course, and turned to Steve.
"I haven't laughed that hard since I learned the size of your balls." The green-eyed trickster struggled to keep a straight face.
"That WAS a good one." Natasha smirked.
"Got any more?" Clint asked Loki.
"Yes." Loki nodded.
Steve tried to ignore them by playing the game, mashing the buttons to control his character, actually doing well. Loki turned once more to Steve, clearing his throat. Steve got his character past the finish line, earning highest score, before sighing and turning to the grinning trickster.
"Yes?" Steve sighed.
"Ahem." Loki cleared his throat and stood up. "Steveā¦"
The others leaned forward in anticipation of what Loki may say.
"You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant."
That was when Captain America kicked Loki.
Where it hurt.
Right where it hurt.
"Doesn't feel so good does it?" Steve smirked as Loki collapsed behind the sofa.
"I FEEL IT!" Loki then laughed. "BECAUSE I ACTUALLY HAVE BALLS, UNLIKE YOU!"
