A/N First off, yay for the reviews! :3 And secondly, I am soooo sorry that I promised that if you gave me prompts I'd update like that *snaps fingers* but I haven't in ages, sorry :( Hopefully the fact that this chapter is full of Hiddles will make you forgive me?
Also, this continues on from the last chapter as requested.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Bruce: I can't believe I let you meet Tom Hiddleston.
Tony: Oh come on, it didn't go THAT badly.
Clint: And technically, you DIDN'T let us meet him. You only let us talk to him over the phone.
Clint: Not even proper talking, just texting.
Clint: . . . you barely even let us hold the phone.
Clint: :(
Bruce: That's because all of you were getting grabby, and I knew fights would break out if I didn't get in charge of the phone.
Tony: It wasn't a fight that broke out, now was it Bruce? ;)
Bruce: . . . we promised to never speak of it again.
Clint: You brought it up just now.
Bruce: Yes, because I get that exasperated just thinking about it.
*24 Hours Earlier*
Bruce: Hi, is this Tom Hiddleston?
Tom Hiddleston: Yes, who's this?
Bruce: It's Bruce Banner, we talked the other day? My friends wanted your number so they could talk to you.
Tom Hiddleston: Ah, yes, that's right.
Bruce: You don't mind if they text you, do you? It's in everyone's best interests if they don't see you nor hear your voice.
Tom Hiddleston: Alright then . . .
Tony: Hey ;) Tony Stark here, it's an honour to meet you.
Tom Hiddleston: The feeling's mutual :)
Tony: . . .
Clint: Hi, this is Clint Barton, Hawkeye, former S.H.I.E.L.D assassin?
Tom Hiddleston: I know who you are, and it's an honour to meet you as well, Clint.
Clint: . . . :"D
Steve: Oh, hi . . . Steve Rogers here :)
Tom Hiddleston: Hello Steve :D
Tony: No far, Steve got the really happy face.
Tony: Steve go away.
Tom Hiddleston: There's plenty of me to go around, haha :D
Tony: Well in that case, don't suppose you'd be up for a . . . foursome?
Steve: Tony! Don't ask him something so rude like that!
Steve: Also you don't want to scare him away . . .
Tom Hiddleston: Haha, that's alright . . . not the foursome though, I'm sorry.
Tony: Hmm I'm sure you can make it up to me somehow ;)
Clint: *US, make it up to US somehow . . .
Tom Hiddleston: Well, your friend Bruce won't let me meet you in person . . . would you like a signed poster?
Tony: I'd like something signed and it's not a poster ;)
Steve: Please excuse him; he's a bit of a flirt. And I'm pretty sure this is the first and only time Tony has ever and will ever be star struck, so I don't think he even knows what he's saying right now.
Tony: . . . go away, Steve.
Tom Hiddleston: Aw, don't be mean, Tony. Steve's a nice guy ;)
Steve: Oh, thank you, sir :D
Tony: How can you call him "sir" without it being kinky?
Tom Hiddleston: Haha, oh Tony, you're as funny as they say.
Tony: What else do they say about me? :-P
Tom Hiddleston: I seem to remember something along the lines of "textbook-narcissism" and "doesn't play well with others".
Clint: Ooh, burn, Tony.
Tony: I can show you how well I play with others ;)
Tom Hiddleston: So . . . not very well?
Clint: Haha, you're going to need some ice for that burn, Stark :-P
Tom Hiddleston: I'm sorry Tony, I just couldn't help myself :)
Tony: That's perfectly fine, seriously, I'm still trying to believe that I'm actually talking to you.
Clint: Same here . . . I keep zoning off into a daydream . . .
Tony: Daydream?
Clint: More like fantasy.
Clint: . . . ehehehe, definitely a fantasy ;)
Tom Hiddleston: "Ehehehe" is my line . . . you've been a naughty boy, Barton :-P
Clint: . . . oh lordy . . . O.o
Tom Hiddleston: I'm sorry, did that make you uncomfortable?
Clint: Only because I came in my pants . . . I mean what.
Tony: Stop apologising Tom, you are never to blame for anything, ever.
Tom Hiddleston: Oh, ok then, sorry, um, oops :*)
Tony: You damn life ruiner that was totally adorable.
Steve: Bruce, this is killing me, may I please talk to Tom over the phone?
Bruce: You are.
Steve: I mean can I hear his voice.
Bruce: I think that'd be dangerous.
Steve: Please?
Bruce: No.
Clint: Pretty please?
Bruce: No.
Tony: It legit hurts, Bruce.
Bruce: No.
Steve: But we love him :(
Tom Hiddleston: Aw, you guys are awesome, love you too :)
Steve: Happy now :D
Tom Hiddleston: Bruce, may I ask – what's the harm in letting us talk properly?
Bruce: It'll be like opening Pandora's Box.
Clint: Bruce.
Clint: Pls.
Clint: Bruce.
Clint: Pls.
Clint: Bruce.
Clint: Pls.
Clint: Bruce.
Bruce: OK, STOP!
Steve: Careful, don't make him too mad.
Bruce: "Too" mad?!
Steve: Uh, so, Tom, how's the weather in your neck of the woods?
Tom Hiddleston: Pleasant, thank you :)
Tony: Hey, Tom.
Tom Hiddleston: Yes?
Tony: Talk dirty to me ;)
Bruce: Tony no.
Tom Hiddleston: Oh, well, I don't think . . . you know what, alright then.
Tony: Ehehehe, excellent.
Bruce: Tony stop.
Tom Hiddleston: You're a dirty boy, Tony.
Tony: Oh, yes ;)
Tom Hiddleston: So dirty, so filthy, so disgusting . . . ;)
Tony: . . . you went one step too far but I am way turned on right now.
Bruce: Tony please.
Tony: What?
Bruce: Stop.
Tony: :( But I like it.
Bruce: I'm sure Mr. Hiddleston doesn't appreciate middle-aged men hitting on him.
Tom Hiddleston: Haha, it's quite alright, you are the Avengers after all :D
Clint: Yeah, Bruce, we're the Avengers :-P
Steve: Clint where did YOU go?
Clint: Um . . . now, who wants the honest answer, and who doesn't?
Bruce: Please no.
Clint: Well, I came in my pants and had to change them. All thanks to Tom.
Tom Hiddleston: I'm sorry :(
Bruce: Wow . . . ok, I guess nothing fazes this guy.
Tony: I know what would faze him.
Bruce: DON'T SAY A WORD.
Tony: Imagining that the Hulk is a rapist.
Bruce: No Tony!
Bruce: Bad Tony!
Tom Hiddleston: Bad Tony indeed ;)
Tony: ;)
Clint: I know you're not up to a physical foursome, but how about a sexting threesome?
Tom Hiddleston: We'll see, Clint.
Steve: . . . wait, threesome? Can't I join?
Tony: There's always room for more, Steve, depending on how many Tom can take . . . ;)
Bruce: . . . TONY NOOOOO
Bruce: Why do you do this to mejkswzjkhjdcjm cvjkju
Tom Hiddleston: Oh, what's happened to Bruce?
Tony: I think he just Hulked out.
Steve: Bruce? You . . . ok?
Bruce: HULK SICK OF VISUALS!
Tom Hiddleston: Calm down! It's ok, Hulk, calm down.
Hulk: . . . Hulk . . . calm.
Hulk: Hulk confused. What spell did tiny man in phone use on Hulk?
Steve: Tom's words are a magic of their own.
Tom Hiddleston: That was very poetic and flattering, thank you Steve :)
Steve: Anytime, sir.
Hulk: Tom like poetry?
Tom Hiddleston: Tom like poetry? Well, yes.
Tony: Just to let you know, I am reading your texts in a British accent and I got a boner.
Hulk: HULK
Hulk: SICK
Hulk: OF
Tom Hiddleston: May I interrupt?
Hulk: . . . yes.
Tom Hiddleston: Just ignore Tony; he's stirring you up.
Tony: NO! Don't ignore me, Tom, please :(
Tom Hiddleston: I am advising HULK to ignore you, not myself :D Calm down, Tony.
Tony: Ok then :D Anything you say XD
Hulk: What poetry does Tom like? Hulk like poetry.
Clint: Hulk likes poetry?!
Tom Hiddleston: Well, we all need a hobby. Hulk, I like Shakespeare's poetry.
Hulk: Hulk like that too.
Hulk: :)
Hulk: But what is a Montague? It is not hand, nor foot, nor . . . any other part of a man.
Tom Hiddleston: A rose by any other name smells just as sweet :)
Tony: . . .
Clint: . . .
Steve: . . . Is that what just happened?
Bruce: Whoa, ok, I just suddenly . . .
Tony: De-Hulked?
Bruce: . . . yes, thank you, Tony.
Bruce: I think that's enough Hiddles for one day. Tom, thank you SO much for tolerating these guys . . . and the Hulk.
Tom Hiddleston: Any time, it was no trouble at all, I enjoyed it :-P
Tony: The feeling is totally mutual XD
Clint: I'll miss you :(
Tom Hiddleston: Aw :( Take a kiss to remember me by, xx.
Clint: xx :*D
Clint: . . . xxxxxxxxxx
Bruce: Ok, Clint.
Clint: xxxxxxooooooo
Bruce: You've said goodbye now.
Clint: xxxxxxxXXXXOOOOOOOOOO
Bruce: O-KAY . . . I think he gets the point, Clint.
Steve: Parting is such sweet sorrow. I bid you goodbye 'til it be morrow.
Tom Hiddleston: Aw :3 Goodbye, Steve, I'll miss you until we talk again xx
Tony: Ok, Steve was the first to get the really happy face, and the first to get the cat face, and Clint was the first to get the kisses, what about ME?
Tom Hiddleston: You were the first person I talked dirty to . . .
Tony: . . . True, true.
Tony: Miss you already, babe :( xx
Tom Hiddleston: Haha, I don't think a guy has ever called me "babe" before.
Tony: Yeah, well get used to it, baby ;) You'll be hearing from us again.
Tom Hiddleston: Oh, I'm sure I will :-P Bye for now, everyone! xx
Tony: . . .
Tony: Well, that was mind-blowingly, breathtakingly amazing.
Clint: Not to mention just reading his WORDS made me come in my pants . . . twice.
Steve: Ew, Clint, I think you should get that checked out.
Clint: It's just Hiddles overload.
Tony: It DOES happen to the best of us.
Tony: . . . AKA me.
Bruce: How did I know you'd say that?
Tony: Oh, Bruce, the Hulk seemed a little romantic just now, serenading Tom with Shakespeare?
Steve: Yes, Bruce, is there something you're not telling us?
Clint: Perhaps in your sub-conscious you have fallen under Tom's spell, but it only comes out in the Hulk.
Bruce: . . . this never happened.
Tony: Are you kidding me?! I will never forget this! This. I will never forget.
Bruce: . . . Oh lordy . . . ok then, let's not MENTION it ever again. Got it? Keep it to yourselves.
Clint: And our fantasies?
Bruce: . . . Yes, Clint, and your fantasies.
Clint: :D
*The Present Moment*
Tony: Tom's a great guy.
Bruce: I think we established that. Can we move on?
Tony: He's also great because he pranked Thor :-P
Clint: Pranked Thor? When was this? How did it happen?
Thor: Aye, son of Hiddles did "prank" me indeed.
Thor: I was talking to him over the phone when Loki suddenly came on, saying how he had teleported to Tom's hotel and tied him up and wouldn't let him go unless I pulled my pants down in public on T.V.
Thor: I tried reasoning with my brother, but all he said was that . . . he just wanted to see my . . .
Tony: Dick.
Thor: Yes, thank you, Tony :(
Thor: And then he started "suggesting" things, fantasies he'd had about what he'd do with my . . .
Tony: Dick.
Thor: . . . yes.
Thor: Anyway, I was enraged at the filthy, uncouth words coming from my brother's mouth but then Loki started laughing, and then said it was Tom Hiddleston speaking still, Loki was never on the phone.
Thor: He laughed and said, "Loki'd!" and hung up.
Clint: . . .
Clint: YOU GOT TO HEAR HIS BEAUTIFUL VOICE!
Tony: Calm, Clint, calm.
Thor: But if you all think this son of Hiddles is a good man, than I shall take your word for it. After all, his prank was all in jest . . . although it was quite . . . traumatising.
Tony: Couldn't you have looked at kittens or something?
Thor: I'm afraid even the loveable, innocent nature of kittens could not help me overcome the trauma I experienced.
Thor: In fact, I am now quite disturbed after bringing it up.
Thor: I'm going to go lie down in a dark room now.
Loki: So . . . I hear you pranked my brother.
Tom Hiddleston: Yes, I thought you'd be happy about that :-P
Loki: . . . at the end, you said, "Loki'd!".
Loki: What is this, "Loki'd!"?
Tom Hiddleston: It's what I say whenever I prank someone.
Loki: I see.
Loki: How do these humans worship a fellow mortal who does mere IMPRESSIONS of me, when they could worship the "real deal" instead?
Tom Hiddleston: I've been told it's the hair.
Loki: . . . well that is a great injustice, having mortals worship YOU not ME.
Loki: And just for that hair remark, I am going to go around performing acts of kindness while shouting, "Hiddle'd!"
Loki: Ha! Let's see if you like THAT!
Tom Hiddleston: Well, actually . . . no, no of course I would not like that at all, how could you do something so despicable?
Loki: . . . mmm hmm, that's what I thought.
Loki: You're actually a really nice man. A rather fetching one at that ;)
Tom Hiddleston: Well, thanks . . .
Loki: HIDDLE'D!
Loki: :-P
Tom Hiddleston: . . . Well, this has been frooping stellar, but I hear Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth calling me to join their shower, so I'm going to go now . . . you know, before things get awkward . . .
A/N Admittedly not my best work, I wrote this out as quick as I could to give you something, and so I can move on to the next chapters that I have vague ideas for. Reviews/prompts/nags are welcome :D
