I'm sorry this chapter took long! I had mock exams and I was really tired and I wasn't sure how to keep the characters in character. Sorry! I'll try to be quicker with the next update. Haven't had time to have this beta-ed so all mistakes are my own.
Quietstar: Yes, you got it right! You may have a gold star. :) Thanks very much. I'm glad you like them. :D Draco's going to be confused and upset so loyalties actually won't come up in this chapter. Thanks for the review and I hope you had a great holiday too! :)
Snaaaaaaaape: Yes, you're right. :) Thank you very much. I'm glad you like the story! :D
Chapter 27
As soon as the door closed behind him, Draco broke down. Tears streamed down his cheeks once again and sobs to strong for him to stifle, escaped his lips. Snape stood immobile a few feet away in shock as he watched his godson cry his heart out. He'd never seen Draco like this before and couldn't even begin to think what could have made him so distraught. After a few minutes, Severus overcame his surprise and walked to the young boy, crouching beside him and putting an arm somewhat awkwardly around thin, shaking shoulders. The elder male didn't speak for a moment and the air was filled with the sounds of sobs and sniffling until Snape finally spoke up.
"Draco, come and sit down." He said as softly as he could and led the stumbling blonde to the couch. The boy slumped down on it when they came near but the tears and hiccup sounds didn't cease. The potions master sat down beside his godson at a loss of what to do. The couch was surprisingly comfortable and the two males practically sank into it as they sat there but neither cared at that moment. Draco had his head in his hands, curled up in a ball with his feet up on the couch in front of him and Snape was perched stiffly next to him.
Gathering the courage to attempt a conversation with the boy, Severus spoke. "Draco, what's happened?" His only reply was a loud, rasping sob. It pained the black haired man to see the blonde so miserable and even more so when he seemed unable to make him feel any better.
Then he realised, his speciality was potions so why not utilise that? Standing up, he walked over to a cabinet at the side of the room. Easily finding the object of his interest within the orderly rows, he grabbed it and closed the cabinet, walking back to the couch.
"Draco." The boy shifted a little but didn't look up and his small body continued to shake. "Take this. It's a calming draught. It's impossible to talk to you while you're in this state." Snape explained as kindly as he could. Comfort was not a talent of his by any means... but this was his godson so he was damn well going to try!
Broken Like An Angel
As he cried, Draco was aware of his godfather's attempts to help but he just... couldn't. Couldn't talk, couldn't stop crying and mostly, couldn't stop recalling the nightmare that was his own reality and had led to this humiliating situation. The blonde had never fallen apart in front of anyone except Harry. Completely understanding, non-judgemental, love-of-his-life Harry Potter who didn't care if Draco was moody, miserable and an absolute mess. Severus, however, though definitely not to the same extent, shared more of Lucius' ideas than Harry's and, as much as he loved the man, the young Slytherin was unsure how his godfather would respond to the sobbing wreck that currently was Draco Malfoy. Most importantly, would he tell his father?
When he heard the offer of calming draught, the blonde considered it for a moment. He didn't really want to resort to potions every time he had a nightmare, but he couldn't deny that it would be a lot easier to speak to Severus if he did take it. Normally, Harry could calm him down even if he was nearing a full blown panic attack or crying hysterically... but Harry isn't here, Draco realised with another shaky sob. This realisation was what made him reach out and quickly take the small potion phial from the slightly startled potions master and swallow it down in two gulps. Breathing out unsteadily, he felt the draught begin to take effect. A few stray tears still leaked from his eyes before the full effect took over but moments later, Draco sat on the couch feeling almost normal again.
Broken Like An Angel
"What's going on Draco?" Severus asked with concern.
Taking a deep breath, the boy readied himself for the conversation ahead of him. "I had a nightmare... or a memory I guess would be more accurate."
"About what? It's not like you to get so upset over some nightmare." Severus asked, obviously still not understanding. Of course, Draco couldn't expect him to since he hadn't really explained anything yet.
"Well... over the summer... I was... ummm... you know what, it doesn't matter. I'll just go back to bed." The blonde stammered and began to stand a little shakily.
"Sit down. Just take you time and tell me what happened."
Draco cautiously sat back down and adopted a slightly more relaxed version of his previous position, with his legs up on the couch and his back leaning against the back cushions. "Well I guess I should start by telling you that... since I was a child, my father has always... punished me if I did something to displease him. Father's punishments consist of.. quite a beating..." Draco mumbled, half hoping the older man wouldn't hear him despite the near silence in the room. He took another deep breath in and continued before he lost his confidence. "Over the summer, however, it got worse. He got really angry and for the first time... he... he-" The boy was cut off by a loud sob escaping as he struggled not to relive that first time. Tears filled his eyes but he didn't let them fall.
"He did what?" Severus asked, voice full of concern. He'd never seen Draco so upset and even the calming draught hadn't calmed him completely.
"He... he r-raped me." The young Slytherin whispered. Draco heard a sharp intake of breath from where the potions master was sat.
"He what?!" Severus yelled in outrage. He couldn't believe it! He knew Lucius wasn't exactly a pleasant man but he never would have thought that he would do something like... this. But why would Draco lie? The boy wouldn't lie about something like that and he definitely seemed genuinely upset, scared and, quite frankly, traumatised.
"This summer was the... first time, yes?" The potions master asked. He needed the facts if he was going to somehow do anything about this.
"Yeah but... it wasn't the only time... He did it quite a few times during the summer. I tried to fight him, I swear, but he was too strong and he caught me off guard." The blonde rambled, desperately trying to defend himself to his godfather whom he respected a great deal. He wasn't sure if he actually deserved the defence after being so weak as to allow his father to torture him like that so many times, but instinctively he did so.
"Draco, I'm not saying it's your fault. No one is." Snape reassured.
"Father did. He said... He said that I wanted him to do it and it was my fault. He said that if I really wanted him to stop then I would have made him stop and that I was just... just a pathetic little slut..." Draco whispered, followed by several hoarse sobs and the tears finally breaking free and making their way down his pale skin. "I... I was v-virgin before the summer!" The blonde cried, muffled by his hands now covering his face and scrubbing harshly at his cheeks and traitorous eyes that refused to stop the freely flowing tears.
"You don't believe that, do you?" Severus growled with barely contained rage at his former friend, feeling sick to his stomach with every word the blonde boy uttered.
"I don't believe that I wanted him to, of course, but he said it was my punishment for... for..."
"For what Draco?"
"For... being gay and... being in love with Harry Potter..." The boy mumbled. Snape could only stare at the boy in shock for a few minutes, unable to comprehend what he had just heard. Learning that Draco was gay was a surprise but the black haired man didn't really care. He didn't see anything particularly wrong with it nor did he think it was any of his business who people decided they wanted to sleep with... but to love Harry Potter of all people?! If the Dark Lord found out, he'd probably kill the boy immediately, if not do something even worse.
"Harry Potter? Why did it have to be Harry Potter?! You idiot!" Snape shouted, his worry buried under rage and panic, but immediately he felt terrible when Draco flinched and pushed himself further back on the couch, pulling his legs even closer to him so his chin was almost resting atop his knees.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I didn't choose him!" Tears spilled faster down his cheeks as he spewed apologies and Severus felt his heart ache a little at the sorry sight in front of him and seeing how Lucius had broken his own son, the proud and confident Draco Malfoy he had previously known, leaving this vulnerable, traumatised child before him now. Anger welled up again but he suppressed it, focusing instead on trying to fix what he had accidentally done.
"Draco, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. Calm down, I'm not angry with you and I certainly wouldn't hurt you." Snape said in as soft a voice as he could muster. The blonde's sobs began to subside slightly but he couldn't stop them completely. "I didn't mean that it's your fault. You could never do anything that would justify what your father did to you. But... did it really have to be Potter?" The man sounded exhausted as he asked that question.
"I didn't choose Harry. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't mean to fall in love with him... I just did." Draco replied, sniffing occasionally and not leaving his defensive position on the couch.
"Do you have any idea how much trouble this could cause?" Severus questioned, not really wanting to tell the boy that this unusual and unexpected romance could get him killed.
"Yes I do. It's been all I can think about. That's what my memory as about and why I came to you in the first place. I remembered father telling me their plan to... to kill Harry." The blonde said, his voice hitching on Harry's name and looking ready to cry yet again but he didn't. "If I help them, I'll be helping to kill the boy I love... but if I don't... they'll kill me, I'm sure of it. I don't know what to do!" The boy wailed, looking despairingly at his godfather.
Running through options at a million miles an hour in his head, Snape replied after a minute or two. "Does Harry know about your feelings for him?"
Draco nodded. "Yes. We're dating. He said he loves me." He mumbled and a tiny hint of a smile played at the corners of his mouth, not going unnoticed by the potions master.
"Does he know about... the summer?" The black haired man asked hesitantly.
"Yes, he's been supporting me though it all since the beginning of September. He's been amazing." The blonde responded and a slight smile crept onto his face.
"Does he make you happy?" Severus asked, though he thought he already knew the answer. The evidence was right in front of him after all.
"Yes. He makes me happier than I've ever been, despite everything that's going on." The young Slytherin answered genuinely, the smile that had been fighting to get free finally curling the corners of his lips up and a small light returning to his eyes that had been missing before.
"Then... just do what makes you happy and I'll take care of the rest."
Draco released a deep sigh of relief, full of weeks of suffering, and smiled a little more. "Thanks Sev." He mumbled and Snape smiled a bit despite himself at the name. It was what the boy had called as a small child.
Looking at the boy now, he both did and didn't resemble that child he had been al those years ago. He seemed vulnerable, small and hopeful like a child, yet the fearlessness, joy and wonder of youth was undeniably absent, replaced by darker things.
"You should head back to your dorm now or you'll be noticed." The black haired man told the boy who nodded reluctantly and stood shakily from his seat.
"Ok... Thanks Severus." The blonde whispered gratefully, turning to leave and walking, slightly unsteadily, to the door and out of the potion's master's quarters.
Broken Like An Angel
