a/N:it looks like im back to my old self. so there's going to be frequent updating i think.....and hope. thanks for the reviews, i was afraid i wasn't going to get readers or reviews for taking so long.


I go ballistic!!Yeah you make me a crazy chick.


29. Not even sorry

"Someone please just shut her up"Lexie groaned throwing a shoe in my direction. I only giggled and kept my off key singing.

"I knew karaoke wasn't a good idea"Sara piped in. Madison was the only one playing along with me, and doing some backup dancing for my singing.

"Last song"Lexie warned leaving the bedroom, figuring she was going to the bathroom. Maddie snickered once and mouthed to Sara, just one more. And Sara reluctantly agreed.

"Let's go now"I sang

"Here we go now" Maddie and Sarah answered as the last notes of the song were heard. I hadn't realized how catchy Mariah Carey's songs were . Wentworth Miller was really handsome and hot. It made me hot, literally.

"Lexie's probably playing videogames with your brother"Sara said. I shrugged, well I could either get mad at her or just dismiss it. It was weird how well they got along. I mean I suspected my brother had a little crush ony my friend, but I really couldn't understand my friend's insistence on hanging out with him. He was little and stupid. All boys were stupid but at least as they grew up it got a little bit better, or if it could be gramatically correct, less worse. At least that used to be my theory. I wasn't really sure of it anymore

I decided to sit for Madison's song. It was something sappy and piniky....well not that word existed but it definitely should. It had to do with pining for my cousin. She was so disgustingly infatuated that even though I was happy for them , I was a little jealous of how easy it had been for them, getting together.

"So I ran into Jared at the convenience store earlier"I said right after the song ended and the bedroom was quiet.

"You what?!" Lexie came in right in time to hear my confession. So I explain the little incident and how nerve wracking it had been, how embarrassed it had made me, and how after looking back, I had came to the conclusion that Jared in all his variations ,only pissed the hell off of me.

"But are you sure you don't like him any more Kim?"Sara asked. I nodded and Lexie high fived for me it. Madison was the only looking at me skeptically.

"Kim's not going to pine for that stupid ass"Lexie said as a matter of fact "And why should she, when he's surely moved on"

"What?" I croaked not being able to help myself.

"Well I hadn't said anything, because I thought you were still lovey dovey eyed for him. But he's a total scumbag, you totally avoided the bullet"

"Last week we spotted him on the beach with the slut and Paul, and some skanky white girl"

"What?"I heard myself asking. "Like in a date?"

"I guess"Sara shrugged "We didn't actually see them kiss Lex"

"She was probably just a friend"Madison piped in, the only one who knew me well enough or was smart enough to sense how hysterical I was growing and the jealousy vibes I was probably giving off.

"Or not" Most definitely not. Of course he would go and do something like that, why had I expected any different, I didn't know.


Sunday I was forced to go down the grocery store with my mom, to get food for the rest of the week. I had never been a fan of grocery shopping, but I was still strying to avoid any kind of conflict or discussion at home. At first I had been inclined to run the opposite way, I'd been afraid of my mom lately. Fearing any time now she could corner me and bring up Jared again.

And the more I thought about what I would say, the more clear the fact that I wouldn't be ablte to lie to my mother became Sooner or later I was going to spill the beans, just like I had with Jared. The only difference was that in this case I was really going to try to make it to later, and later as in four or five years later, once I was safely out of the house and out of college. There was no need to face the huge repercussions the truth would bring out right now. Losing an alleged soulmate was enough for now.

But my fear was poorly founded since Mom had focused on talking about Colin and his lack of responsability and cleanliness. Typical early teen boy stuff, parents have to deal with. I had tried to excuse him at first, but noticing it was only making her angry, I decided to play along to her concerns, in the hopes of getting out of her a box of my favorite cookies, my cereal and convincing her of getting some microwaved goodies.

We were trying to make an important breakfast decision in the aisle of cereals when I heard her. It was hard not to, since she was yelling at one of the employees just a couple of feet from where we were. Typically paralyzed stupid Kim kicked in, and I was not able of leaving in time. When my brain had de-frozen, she had already seen us and was making her way over with her cart.

Not daring to look up or even talk to my own mother anymore I focused on the fresh fruits and vegetable bags that were piled up in our cart. I had never how interesting the color of plum was, they could look black, purplish, even red when you looked really close.

"Good evening Kimberly" Of course she was going to used my full name. I could play deaf, but my mother would probably slap me for being rude to Mrs. Middleton.

"Mrs. Middleton" I mumbled.

"Kara" My mom said finally looking at Jared's mom and smiling to the terrifying woman. Kara smiled back and leaned into a kiss and a side hug. Say what?

"Shopping?"Kara said pointing the obvious and I rolled my eyes. Really? She was going to do small talk.

"Girl shopping"Mom offered nudging me "Boys stayed home."

" I'm on my own too." Kara said, and anyone could see the stress under her word. "I can't get someone to point me where I can find integral flour"

"Oh on the next aisle." I quickly replied Anything to get her out of here.

"Thank you Kimberly" She almost sounded honest "Lola you should definitely join us for coffee next week. I'll call you"

"Of course."

"It was lovely seeing you Kim" I nodded not being able to return the sentiment. After she left, mom barely made a comment about it and the rest of the shopping was uneventful. We had finished loading almost all the bags on the car when Mom shrieked.

"We have no oil"

"Oil?"

"Yes oil, for cooking Kim"She opened her handbag and gave me a twenty dollar bill, instructing to make a run back to the store to get a bottle of olive oil. I complained all the way whispering non sense.

Securing the crystal bottle of oil I made my way to the register.

I ended up breaking it, thanks to the aforementioned crazy woman. After a huge theatrical production of me screaming, her yelling to the staff. Her refusing to let me pay for it and getting me a new one. I found myself profusely thanking her for everything, even if I knew it had been her fault for scaring me like that.

She must've been secretly enjoying watching me squirm, or probably thinkingworse of me that what she already thought.

"It's nothing Kimberly. It was an accident" Of course not even when she was trying to be polite could she shorten my name.

"Thank you again Mrs. Middleton" I said as earnest as I could muster myself to sound.

"Kimberly wait"She said placing her hand in my shoulder.

"I was wondering if you come over at the house for a little talk" She said leaving no room for a no.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea" I croaked.

"Tuesday after school, Jared will be patrolling and my husband won't get home until night. Sounds good?"

"I don't think I-"

"Great Kimberly. I'll see you there" I didn't argue or said anything back. Kara Middleton was crazy if she thought I was going anywhere near her house. Her son and I had broken up. And whatever she wanted to talk about was something I was not obligated in any way to listen. Let alone be interested in.


Monday after school. I found myself running out of the school building trying to escape the crazy bitch I had been partnered up ealier on the day.

Continuing with my never ending strike of bad luck. Our english teacher was giving us an assigment, some stupid essay that had to be written in pairs. And my partner was none other than Leah. I was scared, she was probably annoyed. So I suggested a brief meeting on the library at the end of the day so we could go over some literature regarding the subject, split the work and part ways.

Leah of course abandoned the working part ten minutes into the meeting. She closed all books, including the one I was trying very hard to read, but failing miserably due to lack of concentration.

"Enough with the bullshit"I panicked at her sudden outburst, afraid the librarian was going to kick us out.

"Excuse me" I said quickly grabbing the books I was going to need and putting my things away. I always knew when to make a run for it.

She followed my not intended lead, and put away her own things. I got first to the desk to check out my books, and once the lady was done. I was running out of there.

Of course Leah having far best condition and legs that mine, quickly catched up with me before I even had made it out of the parking lot walking.

"I'm only going to warn you once" Leah said through gritted teeth. "Jared's my friend so yo better get your shit together and do something"

"Your secrets, not so secret anymore"Her voice became a little less harsh "I understand why you did what you did. I know messed up. I am messed p. But he doesn't deserve this"

"Well I don't see him here asking for something, do you?"I countered "Besides from what I heard he's already moved on"

"Well you heard wrong. He hasn't. He isn't going to. And it's not because he doesn't want to, believe me"

"I don't care"

"Keep lying to yourself princess"

"Leah I'm really sorry but I don't think you can possibly understand any of it. Whatever happened with you and Sam and Emily is completely different. Besides I highly doubt Jared asked you to talk to me.

"Well you can ask him yourself" Leah snickered, as Paul's car pulled in. I turned to look at both of them, white as ghost. They were arguing on the car. Leah sauntered over the car and after a very loud and clear get out, she got into the passenger's seat..

A reluctant Jared got out of the car watching the crazy couple speed away, the tires screeching as they turned into the street.

"What are you staring at?"I yelled as he just stood there. He didn't answer.

"Whatever, Im out of here" I said.

"Walk away" He yelled "Run away it's what you do best, Isn't it?" The bitterness in his tone caught me by surprise he had never talked to me like that. Deciding to ignore him, because I knew that a confrotation would only lead to disaster I kept walking.

"You were right. You really are a bitch." Okay so he was so not allowed to call me that.

"And you were wrong because you're a an asshole" I said turning back trying to blink away the angry tears. Jared was already there when I turned around and the bastard laughed.

"Really Kim? That's rich. So you cheat and lie and I'm the asshole"

"Yes you are the asshole" I scream "You!"

"Why are you angry Kim?" He laughed bitterly again "If you don't care. Or are you only lying to yourself and you do care? You regret it. What you did is eating you alive"

"The only thing I regret is ever giving you a second glance "I said through gritted teeth. "I'm disgusted with myself for ever thinking you were worth my time let alone my spit"

"Well the sentiment is mutual" At this I laughed louder than he had.

"I doubt it" I said smartly "You're simply bitter you were not good enough to change me"

"I never wanted to change you" It was a low whisper. I automatically lowered my defenses when he dropped the agressive tone.

"Yes you did" I croaked not being able to push the former angry tears, now only tears, away.

"I'm sorry"

"You're not"He said glaring at me "You're not even sorry and that's the worst part of it" He walked away without another glance or word, and I was left to ponder was he right?

No. I was sorry. I was.

But if I was, why did I kept acting like I wasn't?


a/N: shorter chapter than usual and it pissed me off writing kim at the end, but ill try to update again this week...if not until next week.