A/N: Here's the next chapter everyone! I'm about a chapter away from catching up to where I'm currently writing, so expect updates a bit further spaced apart (though with my sporadic uploading it will basically be the same). My university's spring break is coming up soon, so I'm planning on making more time for writing when I finally have time to relax. Enough rambling from me though, so I hope you like the next chapter!
Quin awoke in the dark, tangled in the heavy blankets covering the bed. The curtains of the bed were drawn, the thick fabric blocking out all light. Recalling the night before, she smiled against the pillow and stirred, snaking a hand under the covers to the dwarf next to her. But her hand found nothing. She moved her hand up and down the other half of the bed quickly, still not making contact with anything.
"Thorin?" She said quietly. There was no response, and she knew she was alone. A slight wave of fear washed over her, but she shook it away. She tried to convince herself that maybe he was in the other room, stoking the fire or thinking. Something that would give him a reason for not being with her when she awoke.
She sat up quickly and pushed the curtains open, revealing an empty room with only a dim light coming from the embers of the fireplace to light her way. Quin checked each room of the living quarters and found no sign of Thorin, causing her heart to sink.
After getting dressed, she left the room and attempted to make her way back to the other dwarves. She spent a while just wandering and backtracking when she'd turn down a wrong path, and began to get more and more frustrated at the thought of Thorin just leaving her in bed alone, in a part of Erebor she had never even been in before.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, she heard the echoes of deep voices which could only have meant the presence of the dwarves. She sighed with relief and quickly followed the voices, eventually exiting a tunnel back out into the open halls where all the treasure lay. The dwarves were searching again, now seeming much more upbeat after resting.
She approached the closest dwarf to her, which happened to be Bofur.
"Good morning Bofur." She began with a smile.
He grinned back at her. "Mornin' lass. Sleep well?" He raised an eyebrow at her, and she blushed scarlet, making Bofur chuckle. She looked at him questioningly, wondering how in the world he knew what they had gotten up to last night.
"Sorry, I don't mean to embarrass you. Thorin asked me and Bifur to try and clean up the King's quarters a bit, earlier in the day yesterday."
Quin nodded and glanced to the side. "Ah. I see." One mystery solved.
"Don't worry, lass. Bifur and I aren't ones for gossip. But I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to talk about, so what did you need?"
She smiled at the toymaker. "Thank you, Bofur. I was just wondering where Thorin was?"
"Oh, he's on his throne, meeting with Bilbo, Balin, and Dwalin, I think."
"Thanks. I just need to talk to him." She began walking past him, but he stopped her.
"Quin." She turned, and he continued with a warm smile. "I'm glad he chose you. You're good for him."
She gave him a small smile and nodded once before leaving him to continue his search. She wouldn't admit it to herself, but she was afraid of what state she would find him in. He was himself last night with her, but she felt like the gold was somehow tied to this dragon sickness, and that being surrounded by it may have caused him to relapse back to that stranger Quin didn't know.
Quin had to stop Gloin and ask him for directions to the throne room, and promised herself that she would find the time to know every tunnel of Erebor. She'd been roaming around Middle Earth so long, it was strange finding a place she wasn't familiar with, and she didn't like the feeling one bit.
Thorin's rumbling tones reached her ears, and she knew she was getting close. She came out of a tunnel onto a long bridge, and at the end she saw the back of the throne. To the throne's left was Bilbo, looking worried. Quin heard harsh words being exchanged, mostly by Thorin, and quickened her pace. Her feelings of frustration were bubbling up again, and she felt ready to lay into Thorin for his actions. Bilbo glanced over and saw her expression. He gave her a smile that looked more like a grimace, as well as a small gesture that told her to wait. She slowed her pace and just listened in, trusting Bilbo completely.
"It is here in these halls. I know it." Thorin spat, Quin supposed at Balin and Dwalin.
"We have searched and searched…" Dwalin said quietly, and Quin moved a bit closer, shifting over so she could see Balin and Dwalin, both of them looking worn and sad. Thorin was still out of sight.
"Not well enough!" Thorin shouted, and Quin's eyebrows furrowed at his severe tone.
Dwalin pleaded with him. "Thorin, we all would see the stone returned."
"And yet it is still not found!"
Bilbo glanced at Quin with worry, which she mimicked. Balin interrupted, heartbreak apparent on his face. "Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?"
She saw Thorin step down from the throne towards his most trusted friends while Balin continued. "The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people."
Thorin scoffed. "It is the King's Jewel… Am I not the king?!" He turned away and stared at the hard floor beneath him, and Quin saw the anger in his brow. Balin and Dwalin looked hopeless, and before Quin could stop it, she couldn't help but feel relieved that they finally understood what she and Bilbo had seen all along.
"Know this," Thorin began dangerously low. "If anyone should find it and withhold it from me, I will be avenged." He walked away, brushing past Bilbo. Then he saw Quin, and he stopped and smiled at her.
The first thing she noticed were his eyes, and she felt her heart crack. They had returned to their icy, cloudy hue. She crossed her arms.
"We need to talk, Thorin."
His smile disappeared as he looked questioning. "There's nothing we need to talk about."
"You left me, Thorin!" She said louder, her exasperation getting the better of her. "All alone in your bed. Like I was some petty whore." She didn't care if Bilbo or the others heard, for she was far too angry to feel embarrassed.
He continued past her. "Don't be ridiculous. I had important duties to attend to. The Arkenstone remains unfound."
"Fuck the Arkenstone!" She yelled, and he whipped around, looking infuriated. He got closer to her and pointed a finger in her face, threat laced in his demeanor. She didn't back down.
"Don't you say that to me… ever again." He warned, and turned and stormed off. She watched him go, her jaw clenching.
Quin felt a warm hand grasp hers, and she glanced down to see Bilbo giving her a sympathetic smile.
"I'm so sorry, Quin."
She sighed deeply and watched Thorin's retreating form. "No. I'm sorry, Bilbo. I thought I could bring him back to us. I thought I did… But I failed." She swallowed, her mouth gone dry.
"We must keep hope." He answered simply. "Come on." He lead her away in the opposite direction, where Balin and Dwalin were no longer present. They walked together in silence for a short while, until they reached the hoards of gold once again.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Bilbo finally said. Quin shook her head but gave the kind Hobbit a small smile.
"I think I'd rather be alone right now. I need to gather my thoughts. But thank you, Bilbo. I don't know what I'd do without you as a friend."
He nodded understandingly, and the corner of his mouth lifted playfully. "I don't know what you'd do without me either."
She laughed and purposefully bumped into him. "I'll see you later. Maybe we can figure something else out."
They parted ways, and Quin went towards the front gates. When she reached them, she didn't stop, instead leaving Erebor completely and heading out into the wilderness, where she was at her element. As soon as she exited the Mountain, she took a deep breath of fresh air, feeling relieved she was back in nature. She strode over to the base of one of the two huge dwarven statues flanking the entrance to Erebor and sat down on the warm stone, letting her feet dangle over the edge.
She reached up and undid the string holding her necklace, letting the piece of jewelry fall into her hand. Studying the red leaf, she couldn't stop the grief that crept into her heart whenever she looked at it too closely. It seemed every time she started to feel at home somewhere, the winds of time would all too soon sweep it away. It began with her village in Cormallen, and this time was no different. She was losing Thorin, much quicker than she anticipated.
Quin couldn't stop the tears from falling. His love for her wasn't enough; her love wasn't enough. She lifted a hand to her mouth to stifle the sobs. All those decades coping with her loss, with her immortality, none of it meant anything to her if she couldn't help the people she loved. What would it take to bring Thorin back? Could anything?
"What do I do?" she whimpered to the air. Maybe the Valar could hear her, but maybe they didn't care anymore.
She looked up into the sky, into the hills rolling with dead earth, into Dale. Her wandering eyes stopped on the ruined city, and she peered closer at the darkened windows. There was a light there, like someone had left a torch aflame. Then she noticed another, and another. She stood quickly and gazed at the city with disbelief. People were streaming into Dale, the people of Laketown. They must be looking for refuge, she thought. They have no place to go but the Mountain.
Her eyes widened as she came to a realization. They would be looking for redemption, for compensation that Thorin had promised them. And if she knew anything about the mad King, she knew he wouldn't give up a single coin without a fight.
She turned and raced back into Erebor, just in time to find the other dwarves beginning to gather. Some of them were starting to bring large stones towards the open gates, heaving them up with their hands, ropes, or wheelbarrows.
"What's going on?" She asked no one in particular, spinning around confusedly.
Thorin poked his head up from high on the ramparts, a crazy look in his eyes.
"I want this fortress made safe by sunup." He commanded. "This Mountain was hard won. I will not see it taken again."
Kili dropped the wheelbarrow of stone he was rolling and stared pleadingly at his uncle. "The people of Laketown have nothing. They came to us in need. They have lost everything."
Quin went over to him and placed a hand on his arm, trying to give him comfort. She had forgotten that though she was losing her love, him and Fili were losing an uncle.
Thorin glared at his nephew. "Do not tell me what they have lost. I know well enough their hardship. Those who have lived through dragon fire should rejoice." He turned toward the city. "They have much to be grateful for."
"Is that how you felt?" Quin stepped forward, her brows furrowed. Thorin turned to look at her with contempt, but she went on. "When you lost everything to Smaug, did you feel grateful? No… you felt hopeless and sorrowful, and you would have done anything to aid your people! That is what the people of Laketown are going through, Thorin! Can't you see?"
The other dwarves looked up at their King for an answer. He glanced at them all before growling. "The only thing the people of Laketown desire is the gold within this Mountain. The King's gold. Their greedy hearts wish only to rob the riches right from under our noses. They can try to break down the doors of our people, just so I can see them break their wretched necks against the stone. Now…" He stood tall, his eyes full of madness and power. "Bring more stone to the gate!" He glared at Quin. "I will not ask a second time."
The dwarves began working again, their heads bowed low in sadness, but still obedient to their King. Quin glanced over at Bilbo, who gave her a despairing look. When Thorin seemed to be lost in his work again, she strode over to Ori, who was gathering a pile of medium stones, looking dejected.
"Ori." She got his attention, and he gave her a small smile. "Could you come with me for a little while? I need a favor."
"Of course, Quin. I could use a break anyway."
He followed her out of the room, away from the bustle of the dwarves and their prying eyes. Once they were out of range of hearing, Quin released a sigh.
"Sorry for the ambiguity, Ori. I need your help with Thorin."
His eyes widened slightly, and he seemed a bit shy. "Oh! We've all noticed he acts differently, but I don't really know what I could do to help…"
She smiled warmly at him as they went up some stairs. "Don't worry. You are the exact dwarf I need."
He returned the smile somewhat hesitantly, but followed her without question. Once they reached their destination, Quin stared at the familiar double doors with determination. She whirled around to face the youngest dwarf.
"Here we are."
He peered at the doors questioningly, like if he stared hard enough he'd recognize them. "Where is… here exactly?"
"This, Master Ori," She began, pushing the doors open with all her strength and gesturing an arm to the contents within, "is the library of Erebor."
She was pleased to see his face light up with excitement when he beheld the thousands of books, still lit by the torches Thorin had brought in the night before. The young dwarf gleefully stepped inside.
"It's everything I thought it would be! Wow! There's likely records in here dating back hundreds of years!"
"Yes, there are. They're over here." She guided him through the seemingly infinite rows of bookshelves until she came upon the records that Thorin had unwittingly shown her last night. There were tons of loose papers and scrolls, along with dusty journals and books telling and retelling the history of the dwarves. Ori was immediately drawn to it like a magnet. He began delicately scanning the titles and blowing away dust from the worn pages.
"This is amazing! These record-keepers really knew what they were doing! They documented everything!" He suddenly stopped and turned to her with an eyebrow raised. "Quin, why did you bring me here?"
She approached him with a deep sigh. "You know what's been happening to Thorin. It's the dragon sickness, Ori. Smaug got into his head; the damned gold is getting into his head." She paused and reigned in her emotion before continuing. "Thorin accidentally mentioned that there existed a record of King Thrór during the time he had it, too."
He nodded slowly. "So, you need me to find it."
"You're the company's official record keeper. Who better knows how to handle these old documents?" He looked at the ground, seeming doubtful. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please, Ori." She was pleading, but she didn't care. "You're my last option. I thought Thorin and I's love for each other was enough… but it wasn't. If there's even a sliver of information that could help Thorin, we need to find it." She smiled sadly. "We need our King back."
Ori thought for a moment before his face broke into a slow grin. "Then let's help him."
Quin grinned back at him, and together they began to search through the dozens of records in front of them. Ori showed her the best places to look, for he learned much about the organization of the shelves just from his brief scan, making Quin feel very glad she had recruited him for help.
They had been at it for a few hours before they actually found anything of use. Quin had just begun to grow hopeless when Ori interrupted her troubled thoughts.
"Quin, I think I found something." He went over to her and shoved a book into her arms. It was large; she had to use both her hands to hold it. The page it was turned to revealed scribbles in a language she could not understand.
"It's in Dwarvish, Ori." She said, the corner of her mouth lifted in an amused smile.
"Oh, right." He realized her predicament and pointed to a paragraph on the page, translating the text for her. "It recounts the time during Thrór's reign. Someone wrote about his strange behavior, the dragon sickness."
Quin let out a puff of air. "Really? Are you sure?" She didn't think she was going to get this lucky.
"Yes. It says it began with his obsession with the gold; that he would spend more and more time in his vaults alone. He wouldn't take food or drink. He would just spend days with his treasure."
Quin winced. "Go on."
"This dwarf recorded that his symptoms grew worse as time went on and as his wealth grew. He began to grow neurotic and had fits of anger, becoming suspicious of even his most trusted advisors." Ori's face twisted into sadness as he recalled Thorin's recent behavior.
"Did they find a way to stop it? Is there a… cure?" Quin pressured, her anxiety skyrocketing the more she heard. It was all too familiar.
"It says on the next page that they discretely brought in their best healers, even some from the Iron Hills. His advisors made sure the King didn't know the healers' true purpose for being there, for he became very aggressive whenever someone tried to convince him of his condition. He didn't think anything was wrong with him. So, the healers observed him and diagnosed him a form of mania, but admitted they had never come across anything like it before. Their…" He paused, and despair crossed his face. "Their treatments didn't work. There's no cure."
All the air felt like it was being sucked from her lungs. She quickly placed the book down on a nearby table and collapsed into a chair, struggling to breathe. Ori instantly grew worried and rushed to her side.
"Quin! Are you alright?" He questioned her urgently, gripping her shoulder with his hand, the knit mitten scratching against her skin. His grip was grounding, and she put her trembling hand atop his.
"I'm fine, Ori." She gasped, refusing to look into his anxious eyes. "I just need some time. Thank you for your help."
Abruptly, she ripped out of his grasp and ran out of the room. She didn't know where she was going, only that she needed to leave. The stone walls around her felt like they were closing in, and she felt suffocated.
Her heart was pounding in her ears, and for a moment she was genuinely afraid it would beat out of her chest. She could hardly keep on her feet as she ran because her legs felt like jelly, but her will to escape was stronger than her weak body. Up and down flights of stairs she flew, turning corner after familiar corner, until she finally saw it. A break in the darkness. She followed it until she caught sight of the huge slab of stone, still wide open from when the dwarves had first found it.
She burst out the hidden door of Erebor and sucked in gulps of fresh air. Quin balled her hands into fists, digging her nails into her skin, unable to take the shaking any longer. She paced around the small outcropping, panic still clawing its way through every nerve in her body.
This wasn't how it was supposed to happen, she thought desperately. Thorin was supposed to be fearless and loyal and true. Not plagued by a madness that ripped all his humanity from him. A madness that could not be cured. He was supposed to love her with everything he had. Until the very end. Now, Thorin was destined to die a stranger.
The gods are cruel.
Quin fell to her knees and wept.
A/N: Am I an awful person for liking writing about characters in despair? Don't actually answer that. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was a lot of fun writing it. Quin's been through a hell of a lot of grief, but it's interesting to see how she deals with losing someone who is still alive. It changes her in ways I hope I can elaborate in future chapters, so I hope you guys are as excited as I am! Thanks for reading!
