A/N: What is this? An update like two days after my last? I know it's like I've just started writing fanfiction or something, I haven't done this in so long~ I finished my first fanfic in a week and it was seventeen chapters long, it's pretty sad how it takes me like a month for one chapter now...I can't believe I've been working on this fanfic for about two years...D:

Disclaimer:Characters belong to CLAMP

Warning: A lot of cursing on everyone's part, though that's nothing new...

Chapter 29: Crossfire (Oh man, this is the song of the week, I love it soooo much, it works with this chapter so well. Brandon Flowers, the [amazing] singer from the KILLERS~ "There's a still in the street outside your window. You're keeping secrets on your pillow." :D)


I couldn't breathe and speech was practically impossible.

The words just wouldn't compute.

'Doumeki has a boyfriend. He's not single, he's already with somebody...'

'Doumeki's been lying to me...'

The now semi-formally introduced blonde smiled so sweetly, this relieved air around him.

God he was so naive.

"Hello Watanuki, it's so nice to meet you." Yukito said innocently, completely unaware of the internal war that decided to suddenly erupt within me.

I slowly took the hand he had peaceably extended in greeting, "You too...", The words were practically inaudible.

My throat felt dry, I was going to be sick.

Yukito's smile still held as he turned back to Doumeki, "Your dad and I were just sitting down for dinner, but there's enough for two more, if you'd like to join us."

The golden-eyed guitarist seemed reluctant to reply, "Actually, we're just here to-"

"We'd love to stay," I quickly interrupted, though it was completely unconsciously done.

Doumeki practically winced at my words.

The blond looked between us, obviously noting that something was a little off, "Okay then." Yukito responded, walking back into the house.

There was a pregnant pause between the two of us.

"Watanuki, I can-"

"Shut up." My voice was cold, emotionless and Doumeki did just that.

It made me so angry that he could see how much this was effecting me. "You got yourself into this, take responsibility for it."

I walked into the house, not caring if Doumeki followed behind or not.


The house held the same peaceful homely feeling on the inside as it did on the outside, but I couldn't appreciate it like I would've liked to.

It was almost as if the inanimate surroundings were mocking me, their hidden voices screaming, 'This is what Doumeki already has, isn't it great? It's everything you could never hope to give him.'

How did I even think I stood a chance?

...wait...what?

My heart constricted and I felt so unbelievably stupid.

All the tension I had felt towards him.

The undeniable comfort and peace I felt whenever I was with him.

All the unconscious worry I felt for him.

Why did it take me so long to realize it?

I love him...

I'm in love with Doumeki Shizuka.

And then there's him.

Mr. Beautiful-hospitable-perfectly-perfect-Doumeki's-boyfriend.

Why didn't he just tell me?

I heard voices as I passed a room, the door being slightly ajar.

"What's he doing here?" Doumeki's voice asked in a harsh hushed tone.

My body tensed as I leaned against the wall, listening into the conversation and only vaguely aware that what I was doing constituted as eavesdropping.

"He came to keep a lonely old man some company. Is there something wrong?" A voice answered, older and worn with age though I could tell that it was most likely Doumeki's father.

"Dad, you're fifty-four, you're not old."

The elder man laughed, a gruff and resonating sound. "Let's see how you feel when you get to be my age, hm?"

I could practically hear Doumeki roll his eyes, "How often does Yukito make these 'visits'?"

"At least once a weak, maybe more. You left so suddenly, he was really very concerned. And then we heard you on the radio, he was so proud of you, but well, I suppose congratulations are in order."

There was silence between the two, something tense and heavy.

"But this...boy I heard with you, he seems to be..."

"To be?" Doumeki prompted his parent.

"Well, and I mean this in the most loving way possible Shizuka, you've always been a very reserved person, and I, well...it's almost as if this person is, is... important to you."

Another silence and all I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest.

"How can you tell?" The younger male asked, voice quiet.

"I think anyone with eyes could, let alone with ears for that matter" The elder responded jokingly.

"Dad...Dad I-"

"Dinner's ready!" Yukito called from somewhere deeper in the house and I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound.

I peaked into the room slowly.

Doumeki's father, an almost complete replica of his son just with a slightly larger frame, stood from the lazy-chair he had been sitting in and paced a comforting hand on his offspring's shoulder.

"Lets go eat. Deep significant revelations can't be achieved on an empty stomach."


Night came quickly, the whole world becoming quiet and cold.

"Watanuki?" Doumeki's voice was hesitant, though it was barely intelligible.

I turned upon hearing my name, mind numbed by the peace that the house seemed to be saturated in.

'What is it?" My voice was still cold, audibly displeased.

Dinner had been awkward to say the least.

Yukito had been just...just fabulous. So kind and gentle, everything I wasn't. The food was delicious and Doumeki's dad was so wonderful and wise and...

And it was just so...so...

Frustrating.

"We should head back."

I looked at him with an undefinable glance and I could tell it threw him off, to not be able to read me so easily. "Fine."

I followed the golden-eyed male out to the front, where Yukito and Doumeki's father where waiting to see us off.

I smiled at them with surprising ease.

"It was great to meet the both of you, thanks again for the meal."

The blond nodded in agreement, "It was my pleasure."

The eldest male shook my hand, "Come back anytime, you're always welcome."

"Thank you."

"Oi, Watanuki, let's go." Doumeki called from his car, a champagne colored Toyota.

I nodded my goodbyes and got in.


If I thought that dinner had been awkward, it was nothing compared to the ride back to Kotori's.

Neither of us where willing to speak, both of us aware of what would happen if we did.

So we stayed silent, the steady drum of the engine and the occasional intone of a right or left blinker the only accompanying noise.

When Doumeki pulled up to Kotori's house, however, my stomach literally sunk at what I saw.

Apparently the surprises weren't done for the day.

"Shit," I nearly growled under my breath.

"What?" The elder male asked stoically from besides me, shifting into park.

"Ted's here."


"God dammit Kim! What did I tell you? Where you even listening? What the hell were you thinking?" Theodore's voice was panicked, loud and out of control, his usually uniform chestnut hair in complete disarray and his eyes were slightly blood-shot.

"Jesus Ted, you don't have to yell." I tried to console, visibly cringing at his tone.

"Fucking serious? You could be dead Kim, you could be killed! This isn't some sort of whimsical demand I'm asking of you! This is your life you're gambling with!"

"Mr. Smith, it's not-" Doumeki tried to intervene, but was quickly demolished by the unnatural force that was an outraged Theodore Smith.

"And don't even get me started on you! As soon as we get back to California we are going to have a very VERY serious heart-to-heart chat!" Ted turned back to me, "I've already booked your tickets, we're leaving the day after tomorrow. So get the shit that's apparently more important than your own life done and get ready to get the hell out of here, understand?"

"Yes sir," I mumbled, not in the least bit pleased about being treated like an invalid child. "Am I 'excused' now Daddy-dearest?" I asked mockingly, my patience completely drained for the day.

Ted gave me a disapproving glare, "Whatever, Kim."

I quickly left the room, heading out back to the small musical sanctuary that Kamui and Fuuma and built there so long ago. I was only barely aware that Doumeki was following and that there was a heavy sigh from the Music Executive as he practically collapsed onto one of Kotori's plush couches.


"Watanuki-"

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled back at Doumeki, not daring to stop walking, not daring to give him the time of day.

"We should talk about this," The elder continued, not willing to relent.

I tried to ignore him, quickly opening the door to the small enclosure out back and trying desperately to close and lock it behind me before Doumeki could get in.

But apparently that wasn't meant to be, aforementioned male having already jammed his foot in the doorway to block the entrance.

I just wanted to scream at the whole situation, everything was falling apart.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I was still trying to push Doumeki out with the door, but the other stood firm.

"Neither do I," Doumeki admitted evenly, finally managing to slip into the room, the door finally closing from the now-unnecassary pressure I had been pushing on it with, "But we should."

Why did his words make everything sound so simple? Like there wasn't some huge secret that he had been keeping from me, that all these things had a completely reasonable explanation.

"How could you do this?" I retorted, voice quivering with thinly veiled anger.

"Do what?" He shot back, his voice holding the same tone as mine.

"This!," I gestured between us, "Why even bother?"

"Like you weren't doing the same."

"What does THAT mean? I haven't done anything-"

"Don't even try that! I know what's been going on with you and Mr. Smith, do you honestly think I'm so stupid?"

I gaped at him, completely not sure what to think. "What the hell are you talking about?" Was the first thing that came to mind.

"There's obviously something between you two, it's no different than-,"

"There's nothing going on with me and Ted!-"

"I saw you!" Doumeki yelled back, and it left me stunned, I had never heard him like this, "That day in his office, you can't say that's nothing-

"MY CONTACT WAS STUCK!" I cut him off, realizing what he was talking about, God he is so stupid.

"Please, what about that time I came over to your house? You two were in there for hours, there couldn't possibly be another reason for him to stay otherwise-"

"Ted's engaged you fucking idiot!"

"Oh really, to who?" Doumeki wasn't buying it and it pissed me off to no end. Now of all times he decides to be stubborn.

"To Kotori!"

"...What?"

"He followed me that day to make sure I was okay, true, but he ended up staying because wedding stuff, they've been planning it for half a year now! GOD! Is this really what you've been thinking this whole damn time! That I'm just some two-timing whore, you bastard!"

His golden eyes widened, "No! I didn't, I just thought that...I just-"

"What the hell do you want from me?" I pleaded, feeling so vulnerable, cornered.

"This isn't about me wanting something from you!" Doumeki returned, obviously fed up with everything we had been through that day, his usually cool and indifferent demeanor cracking.

"Oh! What a relief!," I retorted, my voice growing louder, "Because it really didn't seem that way! I thought I was just going insane, so glad that's cleared up!"

"Dammit Watanuki, this isn't the time for your fucking sarcasm!"

"No! You don't get to say what's appropriate for me to do or not! You're the one who's been making assumptions and lying to me this whole goddamn time! You have no right, no right, to criticize my behavior!"

"I wasn't lying to you-"

"OH REALLY! Then what the hell do you call what happened back at your house hm? Are you going to tell me your family practices polygamy or some ape-shit excuse like that-"

"There's nothing between us!" Doumeki yelled back, finally getting a word in edge-wise, though he chose his words poorly.

My heart sank, and my voice was stuck in my throat.

"How can you say that?" My tone was so quiet, sullen, it took me by complete surprise.

My sudden change triggered the golden-eyed male's realization and he instantly tried to fix his mistake.

"No, no, Watanuki, not us. There's nothing between Yukito and I." His tone was back to normal, though there was that gentle quality to it that just made my insides melt.

"Why do you keep lying?" I pleaded.

I hadn't realized how close the two of us had become during out heated argument until that moment, when my hand was unconsciously fisting the material of his shirt.

"You wouldn't have introduced him that way if there was nothing between you two, now just tell me Doumeki, please."

I couldn't believe that I was actually pleading with him, that I felt so out of place and lost because I didn't understand where I stood with this person. That what I had thought was between us, whether or not I was truly aware of it, could actually be nothing at all.

Doumeki lightly placed his large warm hands around mine, gently prying my hands from his shirt. His golden eyes searched my face, carefully examining every feature and the scrutinization continued a little longer in completely silence, his hands never leaving mine.

Gold met wide blue with determined hesitance.

"Yukito still technically is my boyfriend," Doumeki started and my fists tightened beneath his hands, "But we haven't really been together together for a long time."

"What does that even mean?"

"That whatever it is that you think is going on isn't, but it's-"

"It's what? Just tell me," My hands fell from their hold, but my eyes never left his.

Doumeki sighed, obviously trying to collect his thoughts, to plan out his words.

"Before...before I met you, I thought that what had happened with Yukito was normal, that what I felt for him when we first met and how it became nothing to me was as good as it would get, so I wasn't looking for anything else."

I stayed silent. There's was nothing I could really say anyways.

"I always knew though, that I'ld have to end it sometime with him, but it seemed that every time I tried to or was about to, something would come up."

Another pause, "I was really attached to Yukito's family. His dad was my music teacher, and he taught me so much, and over time I basically became a part of their family. So I felt like I was doing something wrong by not wanting to be with Yukito anymore. I felt obligated to them."

"The first time I tried to break up with him, his mom was diagnosed with cancer. They found a tumor in her brain and she was only going to be around for about a month. I couldn't just leave him like that, so I stayed a little longer."

"In our junior year, about seven months after his mom passed away, his dad was also diagnosed with cancer, but he had a little longer to live than his mom had. The day his dad was brought into the hospital was the same day I was planning to break up with him. I was about to tell him right when he got the call."

Doumeki sat down on the floor, leaning back on the wooden wall. He gave me this tired glance, and lightly patted the spot next to him.

I unconsciously obliged, sitting down next to him and resting my chin against my knees. The elder smirked.

"I figured it was the universe's way of saying that I wasn't meant to leave him. That I was destined to be stuck in this one-sided relationship forever. So I stopped trying. His dad finally passed away at the end of our senior year."

Doumeki idly fiddled with his hands, "It was at his funeral that it finally hit me, that I had to get away from Yukito or I was going to be stuck there forever. I gave Kunogi and Sakura the heads up and packed my things, we all left for L.A. the next morning."

"Without telling him?" I finally piped in. Doumeki nodded. "That's so stupid. Why not just break up with him then, it's not like anything worse could have happened."

"It made perfect sense to me at the time, though I am regretting it now." His hand stroked my cheek.

I shrugged him off, giving him a completely displeased look, he wasn't forgiven yet. "Then why not do it now?"

"I can't." This singe of desperation in his stoic tone.

"Why?" I asked, if Doumeki truly meant what he said, then why couldn't he just do it?

He gave me this look, like the answer was so obvious.

"It's like you and guitar, I just can't."

Something flared inside me at his words. "That's bull."

I stood, grabbing my phone from my pocket, dialed up the proper contact and pushed the little green button.

It rang twice before a cheerful voice answered, "Hello?"

"Fai?"

"Oh Kimi-tan! Kuro-woof and I were just finishing up-"

"Don't," I quickly interjected, "I'm coming over...the CDs not done yet."

"What do you mean Kim-peachy?-" Fai's protest was cut short as I ended the call.

Doumeki seemed completely baffled as he stood as well, "What are you doing?"

I was already heading for the door, "If that's what you think, then I'm making a point."


A/N: DANGNABBIT A-n-B, can't you go ONE chapter without a cliffhanger ending? The answer would be no~

I really wish CLAMP would've introduced Doumeki's parents, it would've made this chapter so much easier to write. '-_- I didn't feel comfortable enough to give his dad a name...if you didn't notice DX

Anyways, FINALLY Watanuki has realized that he's in love with Doumeki, god, it only took him like twenty-nine chapters! Doumeki's known for so long! And yet they still haven't said anything, hahahahahaha, they're acting so canon-ly in that aspect aren't they?

Thanks so much to everyone for their amazing reviews, I felt so loved~ And look, I got this chapter up super quick for you guys!

Reviewing really does pay off, doesn't it? XD

A-n-B