There is just way too much heat

All this humidity has us beat

The Damn Floridian can keep his sun

I'm gonna bake faster than a cinnamon bun.


Me: -panting- Time for...Another update...Of...Of...Oh, forget it. -collapses on bed-

Fang: -pouring water over head- I feel like roasted chicken.

Me: I pity our Subway sandwiches now when we put them in the Toaster...

Fang: o_0 Saint...We have to work tonight...

Me: #^%#.

Fang: We're gonna die.

Me: Maybe I should...Write a will?

Fang: It might be an idea. I will, too. In case of heat stroke.

Me: Yeah, did you guys know that Fang's body burns up water faster than the normal human's? We found out when Fang passed out in Kohl's parking lot.

Fang: You don't need to mention that...

Me: Well, in other news... -gets text message-

Fang: Who's it from?

Me: Amanda...

Fang: What'd she say?

Me: That's it's 95 degrees farenheit out there...

Fang: Like we needed the reminder...

Me: Gah...Well, I was going to share a couple little things with you guys...Ummm...Heat hath fried brain...

Fang: The Zazzle store.

Me: Oh, on this website called Zazzle, I have some stuff for sale. All related to either MR or my fics and such. Feel free to buy some of it of you've got the money (without stealing, of course). At the rate we're going, we may need the money to pay for our funeral after death by over-heating...

Fang: Though we were actually gonna use it to pay for finding a new place to live and college.

Me: Anyway...The other thing...

Fang: I know...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY M.G. CHRISTIANI!

Me: Yes, it's that epic Canadian fanfic author, M.G.'s birthday. Go tell her! (Note: Actually, yesterday was, but when we went to post this chapter, the internet went out, so we had to post it late.)

Fang: Ok, now that we've got that over with... -collapes next to Saint on bed- We can die now, right?

Me: No...Need to write will...

Fang: But who gets what?

Me: Hmmm...


The Last Will and Testament of St. Fang of Boredom

I leave all my worldy possesions, such as my laptop, storage unit crap, and all that jazz to my niece and nephew. They can use it or sell it to start up a college fund.

(I'd leave stuff to Fang, but he's dying to, so...)

I leave the guinea pigs to Amanda, as they're half hers, anyway.

My Gram and Affie can figure out who gets the cat and who gets the dog.

My books may be donated to the library or something.

If Fang miraculously survives, I leave him his freedom. If I can't have him, no one can.

I leave my unfinished fanfics to the Skype Crew. They'll figure out how to end them.

I also leave my OCs to the Skype Crew, besides Pooky, who may return to Andrew or stay if he wishes.

-Saint


Fang: You'd give me freedom?

Me: -nods- Like I said, if I can't have you, no one can.

Fang: Hmmm...

Me: But if you murder me, that becomes null and void, and you go to live with Vera's Unfurry Minkle.

Fang: Damn...

Me: So,...How about you?

Fang: Well...


The Last Will and Testament of Fang

I leave any worldly possesions to Saint's niece and nephew, as most of my stuff is partially Saint's, anyway.

I leave my mice to Amanda as they are part hers.

I leave my long, random list of illegitamate children to their loyal caregivers, Skittles, Iggy, and Magenta.

-Fang


Fang: I don't have much to leave...

Me: It'll make probate easier.

Fang: Now what? We wait to die?

Me: Yep...

Fang: ...

Me: ...

Fang: ...

Me: ...

Fang: ...This is boring.

Me: I never thought imminent death could be so monotonous.

Fang: We have to work in, like, an hour...

Me: Oh...I gotta go brush my hair. You come.

Fang: Why?

Me: Cuz we both be needing brushingz!

Fang: ...Why are you typing/talking like that?

Me: I was just reading M.G.'s story, 'Wolf Pack Note Passing: Sugar High Style. They talk like that, so we be talking like dat!

Fang: Or we be goingz to brush your hairs...

Me: Sure...

-leave to brush hair-

-comes back later-

Fang: Well...Wow...

Me: Yeah...That was...Interesting...

Fang: -nods- I think we better just go straight to a flashback.

Me: Agreed.


FLASHBACK

-in bathroom-

Me: -brushing hair- -humming-

Fang: -looking at bathtub- I so wanna take an ice cold shower right about now...

Me: -nods- Maybe after work tonight...

Fang: -looks around bathroom- Are any of these windows open?

Me: -shakes head- They're all stuck.

Fang: -gets up- -walks over to a window- Well, one is going to be. -begins to tug at the window-

Me: You sure you got it, BirdBrain?

Fang: Yeah... -tugs harder-

Me: -puts down hairbrush- -sighs- I'll help... -walks over and begins to help tug-

Fang: Ok, you pull from the top, I'll push from the bottom.

Me: Got it.

-pushing and pulling on window-

Fang: Pull!

Me: I am!

Fang: Harder!

Me: I'm trying!

Fang: Try harder!

Me: I am, Fang!

Fang: I think it's coming!

Me: Push, Fang!

Fang: I am!

Me: Harder!

Jessica: -walks in- What are you guys doing?

-window suddenly flies open and Saint and Fang fall on top of each other on the floor-

Fang: -panting- Trying to...Open the...Window...

Me: Yeah...Too hot...

Jessica: Well, you guys, uhh...Got it open.

Fang: Yep...

Jessica: You guys wanna, uhh...Get a drink downstairs?

Both: -nod-

-downstairs-

Me: -finds strawberries in fridge- Nom nom...

Fang: -pulls out a jar of something- What's this?

Jessica: Iced tea.

Fang: Sounds good. -pours glass- -drinks- -makes face- This is another one of those 'Healthy, No Sugar Added' things, huh?

Jessica: Yep.

Fang: -adds sugar-

Coqui: -runs in- -is covered in mud-

(Note: Coqui is Rachel's, the other girl who we live with, dog. Name pronounced 'Ko-kee'.)

Jessica: Oh, Coqui! You gotta go back outside, dude.

Coqui: -whines-

Fang: Come on, Dude. -takes Coqui's collar and leads him to door-

Skye: -follows Fang-

Fang: You wanna come, too? Alright, we'll all escape this Female Monarchy.

Me: -eyeroll-

Fang: -goes outside with dogs-

Jessica: He's pretty good with animals, huh?

Me: -makes flapping motions- It's the wings.

Jessica: -laughs- It must be so weird going through life with wings!

Me: -shrugs- It's his life, he's used to it.

Fang: -walks in soaking wet and muddy with two wet and muddy dogs-

Me: I, unfortunately, haven't gotten used to his weird ways...FANG!

END FLASHBACK


Me: So, Fang got his shower.

Fang: :D

Me: And now it's time for us to go to work! Bye again!

Fang: Bye for now...

-goes to work-

-comes back-

Fang: We gotta stop writing these chapters in random 'come and go' sections.

Me: -shrugs- Hey, we have busy lives.

Fang: So busy... We need better jobs.

Me: Better than this one where, when it's hot, everyone decides it's too hot to cook, so they flock to Subway.

Fang: Don't they ever stop to think that it's too hot to cook at Subway, too? I mean, who the Hell gets a toasted meatball sub on a day like today?

Me: -cracks up-

Fang: What?

Me: Meaty balls...

Fang: Matt has ruined your mind.

Me: -bursts out laughing-

Fang: -headdesk-

Me: -laughing subsides- So...

Fang: So...

Me: I was thinking...

Fang: I hate it when you think...

Me: It might be fun to do another Q&A...

Fang: Again?

Me: Only this time, a challenge...

Fang: Oh?

Me: Since this is a poetry corner...ALL QUESTIONS MUST RHYME!

Fang: This could be interesting...

Me: So, here's the challenge. You can ask as many questions as you like, but they MUST somehow rhyme!

Fang: Errr...Example?

Me: Well...


I live in a little brown hut

and would like to know Saint's favorite color is what?


Fang: This could be interesting...

Me: Very...Why do you think I'm doing it?

And if your rhyming sucks, don't worry about it. It's not a contest.

Fang: And, to be fair, since not all poems rhyme, if you can come up with a Haiku or something, we'll probably take it.

Also feel free to explain your question or whatever if your poem makes it more confusing than it actually is...If that makes any sense.

Me: So, I think we can post now!

Fang: Awesome.

-Saint and Fang

.

.

.

.

Me: No, we can't. The internet's down.

Fang: #^#%#.

(P.S. The Wills were supposed to be centered, but FF decided it hated me, so... -flips FF the finger-)