To Be a Mother - Chapter Twenty-nine

Once again, Ciel found himself within that void of irrepressible darkness, the aura of death freezing his veins and making his heart shiver. However, what made this time far more unbearable was the unimaginable agony that was resonating from his lower abdomen and surging through his every fibre in crashing waves. With a blood-curdling howl, his legs grew incredibly numb beneath him and he slumped to his knees, his arms curling like a vice around his convulsing body in hopes of stifling the pain.

An animalistic terror sent a whimper tumbling from his lips. Never had he wanted to escape his body so much. He knew what was coming, but knew with just as much vigour that he could not face it. He'd had to bear so much in his short life, but knew with all the conviction in his heart that this was going to shatter him. He could already hear the glass breaking.

"Ciel..."

That voice. Like silk on skin. Like a harp singing in the wind. Ringing with familiarity. Ringing with warmth. Ringing with love.

Ciel dared rear up his quivering head and could not refrain from gasping at the sight of the dazzling spectacle that danced before his watering eye.

A phantom of light she was. A glorious spectre of gold, with hair that shined like the sun and skin that appeared to hold the very epiphany of the stars in its depths. Her figure cut the darkness into smithereens and bathed Ciel in a glow more vibrant than any full moon. Everything was flaxen, except for her eyes, which were a rich blue. Like his own...

A strangled sob bubbled in his throat. "Mother?..."

Her lips rose in a smile that didn't quite reach her anguished eyes. "Oh, Ciel," she whispered in a tone overflowing with unquenchable emotion as she lowered herself down upon her own knees and took his head in her hands, cradling it against her chest. "If I could take away your pain, I would not hesitate for a moment."

Ciel buried his face in the folds of her muslin gown. The distinct scent of roses that wafted from it made the sides of his throat knit themselves together. "H-how are you here?"

"My son, I've never truly left," she cooed into his ear, rocking him gently from side to side. An awful clenching in Ciel's abdomen made his shoulder blades knot together as a guttural moan rumbled his chest, the distress in the sound echoing longer than the sound itself. His mother only hushed him in the way she used to when storms used to frighten him, her rocking remaining unswerving.

"I'm so afraid," he finally wailed, his frame quaking senselessly, his tears drenching his mother's dress. "I just don't think I can do this."

"I know, I know," she hummed, planting a kiss on Ciel's disheveled slate hair. "So was I. So are all mothers... But you're not alone, Ciel; you have so many people around you that love you and care about you, who'd drop everything just to see you well. They'll always be there for you, and sometimes, that's all the help you need. You should never forget that... And it was all worth that fear and that pain, because in the end, I had you..."

"But how can I possibly love a demon child?" Ciel cried, lifting his earnest and tear-stained face to gaze with such despair at his mother. "How can you still love me, after everything I've done?..."

Raising a delicate finger, his mother caressed his sodden cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "Because a mother's love is unconditional, and no matter what you have done or will do, I shall always love you. That is a mother's vow... And although you may not believe me now, you shall feel the same way for your own child, regardless of what it is. You won't be able to help it; it is simply what it means to be a mother."

Another flood of tears trickled down Ciel's cheeks. "C-can I stay here until it's born?"

His mother's sad grin remained, even as she shook her head. "Your child can't be born unless you're there to help it through, and besides, the people who love you most are waiting for you." She placed another kiss to his cheek, allowing her lips to linger for a moment longer. "But your father and I shall always be with you, not matter where you go or what you do. We love you very much. We always will."

The slightest smile shuddered on Ciel's lips. "I love you too..."

XXX

Ciel cracked open his eyes to find his vision swimming with faces cast in ambient candlelight. He was lying slumped upon the mattress of his bed, with Sebastian, the servants, his friends, and his family all hovering around him, their anxiety almost drowning him with its abundance.

"My Lord," Sebastian simpered to his left, the relief as clear as day in his voice as he rubbed a damp washcloth over Ciel's clammy forehead. "You've finally awoken."

Ciel could feel someone's fingers squeezing the life from his right hand, and when he turned his head, he saw Lizzy, with tears lavishing her face and cheeks a deathly pale. "Oh, Ciel," she croaked, sniffling. "Thank goodness you're okay."

Edward was merely clutching her shoulders, concern ablaze in his solemn expression. His Aunt Francis was sitting on the edge of the mattress, imploring Ciel with her angular eyes, while her husband sat beside her, his own eyes shimmering. Soma was leaning heavily over the end of the bed, appearing almost ready to burst into tears. Agni was at his side, with his hands together in prayer. Finny was sobbing into the mattress, his little body writhing with the immensity of it. Mey-Rin had her hands beneath her glasses, brushing away the tears that had managed to slip free. Bard scratched sheepishly at the back of his head, a sigh breezing from his mouth. Snake was simply bowing his head low, the black-and-red adder on his shoulder following suit. And Tanaka stood with his hand over his heart, his lips smoothing into a soft grin.

The very sight of them all made Ciel's own tears froth in his eyes once more.

"Do they know?" Ciel inquired to Sebastian, his tone overcome by rawness. The demon only nodded.

"Do you wish for me to remove them all from the room?"

But Ciel shook his head, his tears only growing all the more determined to spill as he heard their protests flutter around the chamber. He remembered his mother's words and chose to stay true to them.

"No. Let them stay." He turned to each one of them and gave them all a broken smile. "I need them here..."

XXX

Hey guys!

Here's another chapter. There are only two chapters left, so I aim to get them edited and posted within the next week.

Now, Mailbox:

Promocat - I guess it was about time, but he might've finally managed to pull through. Thank you for always reading and reviewing!

ChlomeTov - I hope it meets your expectations! Yes, I was originally planning to make this story longer. However, due to the reasons I mentioned last chapter, I really can't go on. It kills me too when authors do that, so I decided that if I'm not going to finish this story the way I planned, I was at least going to give it a decent ending, for you guys and myself. I hope this has answered your question and I'm glad you have enjoyed it! Thank you!

Until next time!

HeartElyse