A/N - Wow, thank you for the awesome reviews! I'm so glad you all liked chapter 28, as it's one of my favourites. I do love a good argument between passionate characters. Sorry that I can only respond to reviews that are logged in, but I still get to read and thoroughly enjoy guest reviews.
Jofrench 22 - I am definitely sticking to canon in many ways - what an awesome season 6! Thanks for your review.
Dawn broke early over Alexandria, and roused by the slithers of light that crept in through the curtains, Carol's eyes slowly flickered open. She gave a long sigh as she awoke, the difficult night leaving her with less sleep than she would have liked. Turning her head she cast her eyes onto the culprit, Judith, glad to see that she was finally sleeping comfortably. Clutching a piece of fabric that had once been Rick's shirt, she sucked on her pacifier as she slept beside Carol, her bottom in the air and her limbs tucked up beneath her. Back on a steady diet of formula and good food, Judith was growing like a weed, her limbs lengthening almost as much as her wispy blonde hair. But with a new tooth set to break through her top gum any day now, Judith had spent the night suffering through the discomfort, her restlessness keeping both she and Carol awake.
Watching her as she slept soundly, Carol resisted the urge to touch Judith's hair, to run her fingers through the curls forming at the nape of her neck. Instead, she got out of her warm and comfortable bed and headed into her en suite bathroom to turn on the shower. Leaving the door ajar so that she could hear Judith, Carol went about her morning routine with little interest, though she took pause to be grateful for the hot shower she was receiving. Despite her reservations about Alexandria and its people, there were some things that she ought to be grateful for. She quickly donned the clothing she disliked and then dabbed a little make up onto her face. Prior to Alexandria she hadn't worn make up, Ed having never allowed it. But the other women here wore it, and therefore it was necessary that she did too. Fixing her hair, she applied a little spray and corrected some fly away hairs, amused by what Daryl would say if he was ever privy to her new morning routine.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she repeated the words Daryl had said to her only a few weeks ago, firmly believing them to be true. "You look ridiculous," she told herself.
As long as she could privately acknowledge how ridiculous she looked, Carol was confident that she blended in well with the other Alexandrian women, that her true nature was unknown to them. A wolf in sheep's clothing, she slipped the baby monitor into her pocket and began going through the house, opening all the doors and shades in the bedrooms. At night they kept their bedroom doors closed, a small measure that kept them safer during their hours of vulnerability. None of them were going to forget the aftermath of what happened when Patrick died during the night. Though they had tried to tell the others in Alexandria how important it was to keep their bedroom doors closed, Carol doubted that all of them did so. They presumed to know better than the new group who had arrived full of paranoia.
Pausing in each threshold, Carol looked into each of the rooms, missing her family. It had been eleven days since their departure…and had been Rick's birthday yesterday. Feeling anxious, Carol hoped that they returned soon. The had prepared a tight schedule, not lingering anywhere longer than absolutely necessary. If things were going well, they ought to be home sooner rather than later.
Worried for them, Carol moved on down the hallway to open the door to Daryl's bedroom. It was as plain as it had been they day they had arrived. Daryl hardly used his bedroom except to sleep on the nights he didn't take watch in the guard tower, or the nights he didn't sleep on the front porch, always vigilant. Feeling guilt in the pit of her stomach, she gave herself a moment to dwell on the secret she was keeping for Daryl, on the news that he didn't know how to share with Rick. She knew Daryl didn't want the fuss, that he felt their group had enough to worry about right now, but she was certain that Rick wasn't going to take the news well. As the feeling of sadness increased, Carol forced herself to go downstairs and start her day, knowing she couldn't mope for too long.
By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, she could hear Judith through the baby monitor. Rolling her eyes at Judith's excellent timing, she delayed going straight to her, letting her wait for a few moments. Life had taught Judith to not only be quiet, but to be patient. Although lonely, wet and hungry, Judith made only soft sounds to get Carol's attention, grumbling to herself before finding her pacifier. Having some time up her sleeve, Carol cut a slice of home made bread and put it into the toaster, pleased to see that Maggie had been over that morning to turn on her coffee maker. Being the only one left in in the main house, Maggie and the others frequently made their way over to keep Carol company, not wanting her to be on her own. Every morning since the departure of Rick and the others, Maggie had slipped over and turned on the coffee maker, taking over the job Rick and Michonne normally covered. The gesture was kind, and not at all unexpected of their group. They looked after one another, during the good times as well as the bad.
While her toast cooked, Carol headed back upstairs and tended to Judith, who was patiently awaiting her. She was already sitting up, and as she often did upon waking from sleep, she seemed disappointed to see that it was Carol who had come for her. She peered past her into the hallway, hopefully looking Rick or Carl. Not taking Judith's preference to heart, Carol fetched a new diaper before leaning across the bed. She peppered little kisses across Judith's cheek as she took away her pacifier, her heart swelling with love when she smiled at her.
"Good morning, Judy Pie," she greeted her, using the name she had overheard Rick cooing under his breath. "Did you sleep well after waking me up all night?"
Grunting as an answer, Judith crawled towards the end of the bed and lay down, anticipating the routine she knew well. Letting Carol go about changing her diaper, she sucked on the neck of Rick's shirt before playfully reaching for her feet. Knowing she would only make a mess of any clean clothing, Carol left her in her pyjamas and settled for just putting some slippers on her feet, needing to keep her sufficiently warm. Without immunisations and a proper hospital to care for her, it was imperative that they keep Judith as healthy as possible, and while the weather was cold, that meant keeping her snug and warm. Screwing up her face, Judith grunted and made it clear that she was hungry, no longer content to quietly wait for this particular need to be addressed. As they went downstairs, Carol combed Judith's hair and put a clip in it, pulling it off her face and away from her mouth. Putting her into the highchair, Carol took a generous sip of her coffee and then told Judith to put Rick's shirt aside.
"Over here," she told her, patting the kitchen bench beside the high chair.
Judith whined, not wanting to give it up. They went through the same process every meal time, Judith forced to give up her security blanket while she ate, lest it become even dirtier than usual. Yesterday Carol had made the mistake of putting it in the washing machine, having believed that Judith was playing happily enough to not notice it missing. Judith noticed of course, and she looked at Carol pretty mistrustfully when she gave it back smelling clean and fresh. She felt terrible for that, knowing that on some level the shirt still smelled of Rick, that it brought Judith comfort during his unexplained absence. But there was no avoiding the necessity of washing it.
"Good girl," Carol thanked her as she finally gave up Rick's shirt. Putting it aside, Carol took her seat on one of the stools and began feeding her some oatmeal. Though she was capable of feeding herself, Judith was content to let Carol do the task, the only way that Carol could keep track of exactly how much she ate and how much ended up on the floor.
"Yes, Sam?" Carol called out, sensing the young boy's arrival before he even knocked.
"Hi, Carol," Sam replied tentatively, letting himself inside the front door. "How are y-"
"Close the door, Sam," she told him sternly, feeling the cold draught.
The front door closed loudly, his footsteps echoing on the hardwood floors as he came in. He hovered by their coats and looked into the kitchen, craning his neck to see Judith in her high chair.
"Hi, Carol," he smiled, his large blue eyes looking at her tentatively. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, keeping her voice cool and disapproving.
She didn't understand why Sam was constantly seeking her company, especially after what had happened the night of Deanna's party. How did threatening to tie him to a tree and let him be devoured by Walkers translate into becoming his best friend? Against the facade of nurturing Den Mother, Carol found herself irritated by Sam's constant presence, always on the back foot wondering if he was going to say something about the guns he had seen her taking. It had been weeks though, and he hadn't brought the subject up other than to promise that he hadn't told anyone.
"Have you got much work to do today?"
"Yes," she answered, spooning oatmeal into Judith's hungry mouth. "I always have work to do."
"Well, I thought….that maybe I could help you."
"For the third day in a row?" Carol asked, next muttering under her breath, "What a surprise."
There was a long pause, Sam still lingering by the coats. "Do you think Mr Grimes had a nice birthday yesterday?"
"No. He probably didn't." Looking at him, Carol forced herself to settle her tone down, to not be so abrasive. "You know you can call him Rick."
Sam shook his head vehemently, coming into the kitchen now. He smiled at Judith, reaching out and touching the butterfly clip in her hair. "No, he's a grown up."
"He asked you to," she reminded him. "So you're allowed to use his first name."
Shrugging, Sam pulled up a stool and leant his elbows on the kitchen bench. "Is lasagne his favourite? Is that why you made it yesterday?"
"Yes."
"But, he's not back…"
Raising her eyebrows, Carol looked at him. "I put it in the freezer." Considering him, she looked at her wrist watch. "It's seven thirty in the morning, Sam. Does your mother know you're here?"
"Yeah."
"Have you had breakfast?"
"Yeah."
"Made your bed? Brushed your teeth?"
"Ron has to make my bed today, because I made his yesterday…and I've brushed my teeth."
"And does your mother actually know you're here?"
Sam hesitated, seeing his lie had been detected. "No…she thinks I'm just out."
"I thought so," Carol pondered. If Jesse knew Sam was over here bothering Carol again, she would make him go elsewhere, do something else. But she felt a pang of guilt, reminding herself yet again to be kind to Sam. It wasn't his fault he was being so annoying. "Fine. You can help me with my work today."
"Thanks," he smiled, perking up a little. "What can I do first?"
She glanced down at Judith, noting that she was getting impatient and wanted to feed herself. "You can finish feeding Judith." This ought to be interesting.
Leaving Sam to battle with Judith's burgeoning independence, Carol set about eating her own breakfast, her toast having gone cold just the way she liked it. Thinking about her day ahead, she ran through the list of things she needed to get done, mentally checking off the things she had done yesterday. Just like the prison, it took people power to keep Alexandria running, with everyone having particular tasks and chores to complete day to day, secondary to their primary roles. With Rick and the others away, Carol and those remaining were picking up their slack.
If the weather stayed fine, she would clip Judith into her stroller and do the rounds of all the houses, collecting the food scraps to take to the compost heap that Bob Miller took care of. His arthritis had been particularly cruel to him this winter, and upon arriving Carl had taken over this particular chore, and Rick helped out with the gardens in between his patrols as Constable. Carol knew Bob and Natalie would have washing and ironing they would need help with, Natalie unable to do much since she had broken her arm last week.
"Carol," Sam began inquisitively. "Judith's mom died, didn't she?"
"Yes, she did."
"Why?"
Carol sighed, wishing he wouldn't ask. "Because we didn't have a doctor to help when Judith was born."
"Was she - Judith!" Sam groaned in frustration, a loud clattering getting Carol's attention.
Looking around, Carol suppressed a smile. In her eagerness, Judith had knocked the spoon from Sam's hand, and it along with the bowl had gone clattering to the floor. Automatically picking up the bowl, Carol fetched Judith a clean spoon and gave it all back to her.
"Let her finish the rest herself," Carol told Sam, passing him a dish cloth. "You can clean up the floor."
He did as he was asked without complaint, smiling as Judith gripped the spoon and scraped it through what was left of her oatmeal. Working painfully slowly, she raised small blobs to her mouth, pleased to be doing it herself.
"So…Judith's mom. Was she Mr Grimes' wife?" he asked, dropping a handful of oatmeal into the compost.
"Yes, she was. Her name was Lori."
"I bet he misses her a lot."
"Yes. He does."
There was silence now, making Carol look around. Sam was rinsing the dish cloth in the sink, looking at Judith over his shoulder.
"Does Judith miss her mom?"
"No, she doesn't," Carol replied bluntly. "She doesn't even know who Lori is."
"So, who is Judith's mom now?"
"No one…Mr Grimes is her mom, and her dad," she added as an after thought, realising she was sounding too harsh again.
Sam smiled, accepting this well enough. "I like Mr Grimes. When I'm older, I want to be like him."
"A police officer?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Sam looked at her incredulously, as though the answer was obvious. "Because he protects people. I want to protect my mom the way he protects everyone else."
Pausing, Carol noted a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Protect her from what?"
This time, Sam looked away as he answered. "You know, the dead people."
"Why won't you want to be like your dad? A doctor."
Sam shook his head vehemently. "I'm not smart enough."
Taking note of his tone of voice, Carol softened her own. "You are the only person who decides how smart you are, Sam. If you want to be a doctor, you can be."
He shrugged. "I know. Dad's already shown me how to do some things, like make a sling for someone's arm, or how to put on a bandage. But I want to be like Mr Grimes."
There was a short lapse in conversation, Carol gratefully taking the opportunity to eat her breakfast in peace. She watched Sam as he sat by Judith, appearing to supervise her slow method of feeding herself. Though she was frequently frustrated by Sam's constant company and chatter, Carol found herself taking pity on him.
"You know, Mr Grimes is going to teach you how to drive when he comes home. Your dad will probably help too."
Sam's face lit up. "I know," he smiled. "Mom told me. He's going to show Ron too. And Mikey and Enid."
"That's right."
"When he teaches the older kids to shoot guns, do you think he'll teach me?" Sam asked slowly, his large eyes looking at Carol side long. He appeared to be waiting on tenterhooks for her answer.
"That depends on what your mom and dad say."
He nodded. "Mom already said I can," he said quietly, looking as though he was sharing a delightful secret. "Dad already knows how…he's used one on dead people."
"That's good."
Sam took the spoon off Judith and helping her scrape down the sides of the bowl before giving it back to her. "Do you know how to use a gun?
"What do you think?"
"I think…yes. Who taught you?"
"Mr Grimes."
"Cool."
Pouring herself a second cup of coffee, which she deserved if she had to spend the day answering Sam's never ending questions, Carol shared something with him. "You know, I almost shot Mr Grimes once. By accident, of course."
"Really? How?"
"I was aiming for something close to him. I nearly shot him in the foot."
"Woah," he laughed. "I bet he didn't think it was very funny."
"Neither of us did," she said sternly, her tone wiping the laugh off his face.
Suitably chastised, Sam turned his attention back to Judith, passing her a sippy cup of water. "When Mr Grimes teaches us, will you come too?"
"Outside the walls?" Carol questioned, as though the idea frightened her. "No, I don't think so."
"Well, who will?"
"Probably Daryl."
"What about Sasha?"
"If Mr Grimes asks her to."
Sam smiled. "I like her."
"Sasha?" Carol questioned. Although she too liked Sasha, she knew her disposition of late had been anything other than friendly. In fact, Sasha was down right abrasive. Their group understood of course…but Sam? What was it about this kid that made him like people who were horrible to him?
"Yeah. I know she's mean and all, but she's really tough. She's been in the army too, like Mr Ford."
"Sasha hasn't been in the army," Carol explained, understanding how he would come to that conclusion. "Her army jacket belonged to her boyfriend, Bob."
Sam was quiet for a moment, swinging his legs underneath the stool. "Did Bob die too?"
"Yes."
"How?"
Pausing, Carol tried to think of an explanation. Telling Sam that Bob's leg had been hacked off and eaten by cannibals would only give him more nightmares than she had probably caused already. "He got bit, and then he died."
Seeing that Judith was done, she took her bowl and spoon away and then passed Sam a clean cloth, instructing him to clean her up. With both children occupied and laughing at each other, Carol set about stacking the dishes and making Judith a bottle of formula. As soon as Judith saw it coming she started smacking her hands on the highchair table, grinning toothily at Sam. As soon as he was done cleaning her up, Carol settled them both on the couch together, leaving Sam to keep an eye on Judith as she drank her bottle. Readying herself for the day, she packed a bag with diapers, wipes and spare clothing, fetching Judith a set of clothes at the same time.
"What are we doing first?"
"We're going to your house," Carol said sternly, dressing Judith in some warm leggings and a long sleeved dress. "You need a coat if you're going to help me."
"Oh, yeah. Can I push Judith's stroller?"
"No."
Putting a coat on her, Carol strapped Judith into her stroller and laid a blanket across her legs, making sure she was properly warm. Despite her initial refusal, Carol let Sam push the stroller until they got to his house. Lying to Jessie and assuring her that Sam wasn't being bothersome, Carol fussed over Judith and gave her a sippy cup, making sure her hat and coat were keeping her warm. They headed down the road to Natalie and Bob's house first, Carol watching Sam carefully as he pushed the stroller. She remembered a summer day from years ago, when she and Ed had been taking a walk with Sophia. Ed had been pushing the stroller, and the front wheel broke off as it went over a hole in the pavement. It had been so unexpected that the stroller had turned over, tipping two year old Sophia out onto the ground. Ed of course hadn't strapped her in, and knowing better than to question her husband, Carol hadn't checked.
That day Carol had cried more than Sophia, and it was one of the few occasions that Ed had hurt her without intending to. Since then, Carol had never quite relaxed when pushing a child in a stroller, and so she watched Sam with an eagle eye, double checking that Judith was secure in the straps. Natalie was pleased to see the three of them, Judith in particular. She enjoyed the few hours a day she spent with Judith, happily offering her services as a baby sitter to help pass the time during the day. But since she had broken her arm, Natalie and Bob had little to occupy themselves with except each other.
"This young lady needs to eat," Bob declared instantly, taking Judith from her stroller and carrying her off to the kitchen. "Carol? Can I make her a chocolate milk shake?"
Smiling, Carol knew what Rick's answer would have been. At eight o'clock in the morning, the last thing Judith's new teeth needed was the sugary goodness of chocolate milk. Knowing Rick would be horrified with her, Carol answered, "Sure, that would be lovely." She didn't expect that Judith would drink more than a sip anyway…she wasn't accustomed to sweet tastes.
"And what about you, Sam?" Bob offered, taking a bottle of chocolate syrup from the pantry. "Would you like some?"
"Sam is working today," Carol answered on his behalf. If he wanted to hang around her all day, he wasn't drinking chocolate milk on her time. "Thank you, Bob, but he hasn't got the time."
"Working?" Bob said in horror. "Are you being punished for something?" he asked Sam.
"No," he smiled sweetly, melting Bob's heart. "I just wanted to help Carol."
"Oh, Carol. Let the young man have some chocolate milk."
Unable to argue with Bob, Carol gave a polite smile and nodded. Leaving Bob to amuse Judith and Sam, Carol ushered Natalie upstairs and got to work, helping her with the chores she couldn't quite get done with one hand. God forbid Bob pick up a feather duster.
"Do you need help taking a shower?" she asked. Bustling around in the bedroom, she straightened the nightstand and then started making the bed.
"Oh, no thank you, dear," Natalie replied from the en suite. She had been waiting for Carol to come around, needing help to squeeze the toothpaste from the tube. For some reason, she hadn't thought to ask Bob, getting into the habit of simply waiting for her helper. "I took a bath last night."
"Don't be taking a bath while you're home alone," she reminded her. Natalie's broken arm was the result of trying to get out of the tub unassisted, too impatient to wait for Bob to come and help her.
"I won't."
"And you and Bob are still sharing the bedroom?"
"Oh, yes, we are," Natalie replied, sounding a little chastised. Finished up in the en suite, she returned to the bedroom, smoothing down the corners of the bedspread. "I'm sorry. I know that-"
"Don't apologise, Natalie," Carol told her.
Natalie nodded. "I know that…that one of us could pass on in our sleep, and that we might…hurt the other."
"Yes," Carol agreed.
With Natalie and Bob both of significant age, and Bob's ill health, the possibility that one of them might pass in their sleep, reanimate and then bite the other, was significant. Natalie and Bob had been told long ago that they should consider sleeping in separate rooms for their own safety, but they wouldn't hear of it.
"But it's just…Robert and I have been married for fifty six years," Natalie said proudly. "If one of us were to pass away and then…then that's the Lord's will done."
"Yes," Carol replied automatically, squashing down the loud declaration she wanted to make about the Lord and his will.
"We are following your other recommendations, though," Natalie hastened to assure her. "We always close our bedroom door at night. We don't leave any lights on either. And look, Carol."
Looking round, Carol smiled as she saw the baseball bat Natalie produced from under Bob's side of the bed.
"Looks like you're covered."
"Yes," Natalie agreed, putting it away. "You know…not everyone else closes their bedroom doors at night. Some people around here have hearing difficulties, I think."
"I think so too," she agreed, enjoying the tone of gossip in Natalie's voice.
"I shudder to think of what might happen if one of them were to pass on in their sleep, while all the doors were open. You know Sturgess who lives in the shared house? He has epilepsy."
"Does he?" Carol enquired, although she already knew this.
"Oh yes…they don't close their doors in that house."
"I'll have to have a talk with them," Carol smiled politely. If she were being completely honest, she didn't give a crap about the people in the shared house. If they were too stupid to listen to Rick and the others, then they deserved to be eaten alive in their beds if one of them died and returned.
"Now, I know the floors are a little untidy," Natalie commented, slowly following as Carol took the laundry basket down stairs. "But don't fuss. Mikey is coming over to vacuum. He's been grounded for talking back, so Pauline is sending him to clean the floors for me."
"Well that's a relief," Carol nodded, glancing at the floors. There was hardly a speck of dust on the hardwood, but Natalie liked to keep a clean house, just like Carol did.
"When Bob and I took our walk yesterday, we saw Erin and Enid out the front of their house. They were painting each other's nails, I think. It was lovely to see Enid enjoying herself, she's usually got such an awful scowl on her face, and she's so pretty. I suppose I mustn't judge, I don't know the things she's seen…and at such a young age too…"
Carol began to tune out to Natalie's banter, knowing that if she paid attention much longer she just might combust. It was exhausting, this role in Alexandria. It took all her might not to tell people what she really thought, to keep smiling and nodding as though everything was fine. Even her old life with Ed had been easier to navigate day in and day out. She supposed it was because back then she hadn't seen the other side, she hadn't known who she really was. These days, Carol knew…if something needed to be said or done, she took care of it. Now though, in Alexandria she couldn't. Making herself invisible was exhausting, and she longed for the occasion when she could show her true colours.
If only they knew the things she had done.
As she expected, Judith hadn't liked the chocolate milk, but was cheerfully working her new teeth into the rusk stick Carol had packed for her. Setting Sam to work the moment he finished his chocolate milk, she set up the ironing board and showed him how to iron handkerchiefs, crossing her fingers that she didn't return him to Jessie covered in burns. She helped Natalie finish tidying the kitchen after breakfast and then started some laundry. A few hours later, when Sam was bored and Judith was getting grumpy, Carol departed, satisfied that Natalie and Bob had something easy to heat up for their evening meal. Collecting the bucket from the quaint vegetable garden behind Bob's house, she rugged Judith up again and put her back into the stroller.
Testing Sam's commitment, she made him carry the bucket as they went from house to house, collecting food scraps that were kept for the compost bin. He turned his nose up at each deposit made, not enjoying the smell or texture of the contents he was collecting. Soon enough Judith fell asleep, her sippy cup falling into her lap as her eyes closed. Glad that the air was still despite the coolness, Carol persevered onward, trying to keep her chats with each resident as short and sweet as she could manage.
"Wait," Carol started, stopping Sam as he went to dump some compost into their bucket.
Sighing, she looked at the small container that belonged to Shelley's household. Frustration bloomed inside her…this was the second time Shelley had put lemon peelings into her compost bin, even though both Carol and Carl had asked her not to. Herschel had preferred to keep citrus peelings out of the compost heap at the prison, and Rick carried on this preference. Standing there for a moment, Carol considered what she should do. She knew what the old her would have done…she would have picked out every last lemon peel and dumped them on Shelley's front porch, repeating the process until the woman finally got the hint.
Shaking her head to herself, she impatiently picked out the peelings. "Was Shelley inside?"
"No. What are you going to do?"
"Nothing," Carol smiled, depositing the peelings into the empty container that had held Judith's lunch. "I'll just ask her again not to put them in."
Continuing on, they completed their rounds of all the houses, Carol very much looking forward to when Carl would resume this task upon his return. As they took the long route home, and addition of perhaps sixty seconds to their walk, they heard a whistle as they strolled past the solar panels. Knowing where it had come from, Carol shielded her eyes against the sun as she looked up at the guard tower. Sasha stood at one of the open windows, signalling for Carol's attention.
"Sam…Sasha's waving at you."
Sam smiled in delight, looking up and raising his hand to Sasha. Having actually been waving to Carol, Sasha looked annoyed before quickly fixing a smile on her face. Waving again, she got Carol's attention and then tapped her lips, indicating that she wanted to talk. Carol nodded and then held up five fingers, requesting some time.
"Come on, Sam, let's get you home."
Heading back the way they had come, they deposited the bucket of food scraps into the compost bin and finished the bulk of that day's work. She would do a quick sweep and mop of the downstairs once she and Judith where home and then perhaps fuss over Maggie and the others. Following that, she and Judith would spend the day at their leisure. Returning Sam home, she told him to get his mother for her. Waiting patiently, she tucked the blanket around Judith's lap, glad that she was still sleeping peacefully.
"Hey, Carol," Jessie smiled, crossing the front porch and meeting her on the sidewalk. "Thanks for putting up with Sam. He and Ron are driving each other crazy."
"It's no trouble. I wonder if I could burden you with Judith for a few minutes? I need to take Sasha some lunch…she's in the watch tower."
"Of course," she readily agreed, taking the front wheels of the stroller and helping Carol carry her up the steps. "Put her down here by the fire. It's so cold today."
"Thanks, Jessie. Her water and some snacks are in the basket underneath. She shouldn't wake up though."
"She'll be fine," Jessie cheerfully waved her off. "Take as long as you need."
Departing without further fuss, Carol headed to the second house and grabbed a granola bar and bottle of water from the pantry, knowing Sasha's preferences. As she passed Eric's house, she stopped only to open the door and shout that she expected him for dinner at six o'clock, quickly continuing on to the watch tower.
"What is it, Sasha?" she asked, climbing the scaffolding that would grant her access without having to leave the walls.
"Got more ironing to do?" Sasha joked, cracking a rare smile.
"Well aren't you in a good mood today," Carol commented, passing her the granola bar and water. "So what's the problem?"
Handing her the binoculars, Sasha pointed east. "See the yellow flag?"
"The wind speed?"
"Yes. On the ground to the right…a Walker in a blue coat."
Looking through the eye piece, Carol found the dead Walker she was looking for. "Yes?"
"Look at the forehead."
"Another W?" she asked, not needing to look.
"Yeah, but that's not all…look at the neck."
Carol sighed, trying to focus the binoculars. "I can't see it well enough."
"Noah noticed it this morning. When we swapped he went out and looked at it properly. The throat is slashed…but no bites."
"Oh," she said darkly, realising what Sasha was getting at. "So…these people aren't carving up Walkers…they're killing living people, and then carving them up."
"Or carving them up, then killing them."
Lowering the binoculars, Carol took pause, thinking hard. "Rick and the others will be back soon. They'll be able to make something of this."
"Make something of this?" Sasha scoffed. "Rick will lose his shit when we tell him."
"And rightly so."
"Well we've got to be careful about the way in which he loses his shit. These people already look at us like we're crazy."
"Yes," Carol agreed.
"If there are people murdering people just for kicks, Rick will want everyone armed inside the walls. Deanna won't go for that."
"I know."
"We need-"
"I know," she cut Sasha off. "It's covered."
Sasha frowned at this. "You've got guns?"
"Of course we have."
"Where?"
"Close by."
Accepting this, Sasha slowly nodded. "Alright."
"What we really need," Carol sighed. "Is a key to the armoury…so that if something does happen, we can go straight there."
"Olivia has the only one."
"I know." Looking at the floor, Carol bent down and started collecting the wrappers and empty water bottles that had been left there by the last watch shift. "Let me take care of it."
"There's more," Sasha continued grimly. "They used to be mainly coming from this direction, the ones with the W." As she spoke, she indicated to the side of Alexandria where they were now. "Which was great, because we could see them…but now they seem to be coming on all sides."
"You still going out shooting them? Lone wolf style?"
"Don't lecture me."
"I'm not," she said plainly. "I'm asking."
Sasha nodded. "Yes, I am. I can't tell where they're coming from now."
"How many?"
"In total? Thirteen W's this week…and that's just my count."
Rubbing her forehead wearily, Carol thanked Sasha and then departed, wanting to get back to Judith before she awoke. As she headed back towards Jessie's house, she looked down at the gates, which after eleven days still had not opened to admit their returning group members. They had originally planned on a timeline of eleven or twelve days, and if things were going according to schedule they would be back any day now. Barely halfway up the front steps Carol could hear Judith crying, and she gave a soft sigh of frustration before mentally scolding her impatience. It wasn't the little girl's fault that she had kept Carol up last night…after all, she was the one suffering. Recognising her cries as those of pain, Carol hastened inside without knocking.
"Here she is," Jessie cooed to Judith, turning around and pointing to Carol. Judith's tear stained cheeks were flushed pink, saliva covering her chin as Jessie mopped it up with a Kleenex. "Sorry Carol…she woke up shortly after you left. I think her gums are hurting."
"I think so too," she nodded grimly, feeling loved when Judith reached out for her. It was always a nice feeling to be wanted by her, particularly when she so often favoured Rick and Carl…or Beth. Taking her, she brought Judith to her chest and held her close, loving the way she put her head against her shoulder. She was a very cuddly baby, whereas Sophia hadn't been. "I'd better get this little girl home, she'll be needing some Tylenol."
"Pete's just gone to get you some more Orajel," Jessie told her, helping her carry the stroller back down to the pavement. "He saw that you're almost out."
Carol smiled, not sure of why Pete's thoughtfulness aggravated her. "Well that's very kind of him."
"I'll send Sam over to drop it off, but don't worry, I'll make sure he comes home this time."
Thanking Jessie again, Carol departed for home, glad that although Sam was driving her nuts, she wouldn't have to make small talk with Pete. She wasn't quite sure what it was, but something about him just rubbed her up the wrong way, his charming smile always seeming a little too self assured. Rick had told her about the awkward conversation he and Pete had about Judith upon their arrival, Pete having wanted to determine Judith's blood type for his records. It had been most awkward for Rick to explain that he didn't know, particularly given his determination to never acknowledge the murky circumstances of her conception.
Carrying the stroller up the front steps with only one hand, Carol kissed Judith on the cheek as they headed inside, pleased to see Maggie was there. It wasn't unusual for them to come and go from both houses, to make themselves comfortable or eat the food from the fridges, although it was usually Eugene who was thieving food. Aside from the practicalities of sleeping arrangements, their large group saw no differences between the two houses. Gabriel was the only exception, having taken up residence in the make shift church…not that this troubled them.
"Look Judy, it's Maggie," Carol sang.
Completely disinterested, Judith didn't even lift her head off Carol's shoulder, instead choosing to give a long, shuddering sob of discontent. Grumbling, she pressed her fists against her mouth to relieve the discomfort, which Carol only suspected was making it worse.
"I heard her crying, poor little thing," Maggie commiserated, dangling a tea bag in a mug before putting it in the compost. "Tea?"
"Coffee, please."
"With a drop of whiskey?" Maggie joked, getting Carol's preferred mug from the cupboard.
Chuckling, Carol kissed Judith on the forehead and headed for the medicine cabinet. Filling the syringe to the correct dosage, she gave Judith a little Tylenol, making sure she got it between her gum and cheek where it would be harder for her to spit out. Not liking the sweet taste, Judith spluttered unhappily, pulling a myriad of grumpy faces until Carol gave her some water.
"Can I?" Maggie asked, indicating to Judith.
"I think that's a good idea," she chuckled, seeing the cross look Judith was giving her. Handing her over, she took one of the teething toys from the refrigerator and passed it to her. "Why aren't you at Deanna's?"
"Oh, no reason," Maggie shrugged nonchalantly, taking a seat at the island bench and settling Judith into her lap. Without another word, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a blue and white stick, casually placing it onto the bench for Carol to see.
Her curiosity aroused, Carol peered at the plastic stick, her heart leaping when she realised what it was. She looked back up at Maggie, her realisation confirmed by her smile. "You're pregnant?"
Pressing her lips together, Maggie beamed as she nodded silently.
"You're pregnant…but you're not saying it out loud, so that technically Glenn is the first you tell."
Maggie tapped the end of her nose. "Got it in one."
Barely managing to contain her excitement, Maggie looked at her with such sheer happiness that she felt her heart welling up. Putting her coffee down, Carol swept around the bench and engulfed Maggie in her arms, trying not to squash Judith.
"I just couldn't keep it to myself," Maggie explained in delight. "And if I couldn't tell Glenn first, then it had to be you."
"Mum's the word," she promised, holding her tightly. "Oh Maggie…they'd be so happy for you."
"I know," she agreed, knowing who she referred to. When they pulled apart, Carol was glad to see a smile on Maggie's face as she talked about her late family. "Can you imagine Daddy and Beth, jumping up and down making fools of themselves?"
"I can," Carol nodded, picking up Judith's toy when she dropped it. "And I can imagine the look on Glenn's face when you tell him. You make sure he's sitting down, alright?"
"I will."
"Do you know how far along you are?" she asked next, looking at the pregnancy test again before passing it back.
"Not really," she shrugged, catching Judith's teething toy when it was dropped. "I've already been to see Pete for the test, but for the rest of it I'll wait for Glenn to come home."
"After he picks himself up off the floor, I'm sure he'll be thrilled. Hello, Sam," Carol called out, hearing his footsteps on the porch.
Sam strolled right on in, pleased to be back again so soon. "Hi Maggie," he smiled sweetly before turning to Carol. "My dad asked me to bring you this."
"Thank you," she said, holding her hand out for the tube of Orajel.
"Can give it to her?"
Just as Carol was about to refuse him, Maggie cut her off, having significantly more patience. "That's kind of you, Sam. You'll need to wash your hands first, with soap."
Stifling the sigh of exasperation she wanted to emit, Carol just looked at Maggie, amused by the knowing look she got in return. Supervising, Maggie helped Sam open the tube and apply a little of the gel to Judith's gum. When he was finished, he hovered and talked to Judith before Maggie prompted him to wash his hands again. Drying his hands on a kitchen towel he tried to hover inconspicuously, but Carol was having none of it.
"Thanks for stopping by, Sam," she said, looking at him pointedly. "Tell your dad I said thanks."
Clearly disappointed, he did not leave immediately, drawing out his departure as long as he could. When he finally left, Maggie laughed at the expression on Carol's face, not understanding.
"Why does he idolise you so much?"
Carol just sighed, taking a large sip of her coffee and wishing Maggie had actually put some whiskey in there. "I don't know, but whatever it is, I wish he'd get over it."
"Oh I think he's just perceptive," Maggie teased. "Maybe he sees something in you…something he likes."
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Carol just poured herself another cup of coffee before getting on with her day. Maggie put Judith down to finish her nap and then went home, giving Carol the time to potter around and clean the house that didn't need cleaning. She was simply passing the time, impatient for the day that the rest of her family rocked up at the gates.
A/N I hoped you enjoyed checking in with Carol :-)
