I was stupid when I thought moving to Forks would fade the memories. I had been terribly mistaken. Charlie had cradled me in his arms, while I cried my heart out. He went away for a moment and then came back with his pillow. He got in my bed laid down and I curled up against him. I felt safe, just like ten years ago. When I was still a little girl in the strong and safe arms of her father. At some point, we both fell asleep.
I stirred when I heard a door screeching. My eyelids fluttered and slowly, I opened them. It looked like it was a rainy day – my bedroom was still dark. I sat up, stretching my limbs and got out. I wasn't in the mood for jeans and all today, so I grabbed my way to huge sweatpants and a dark grey shirt with long sleeves. It fitted my mood. After brushing my teeth and making a messy bun of my hair, I went downstairs.
I stumbled into the kitchen, having no clue of what time it was – seeing the clock it was after noon. I got myself a glass of milk and with a grumble I sat down on my chair.
"Hey, are you okay?" I looked up and saw Bella standing hesitantly standing in the doorway. 'Maybe I should just…leave her? But her screams were so…terrifying..'
"I feel better now, thanks." I tried a half smile, but it probably looked tired and missed the eye sparkle.
"Dad told me why you were screaming. It must have been a terrible nightmare." She said as she sat down in front of me, still hesitant. She kept talking while I didn't say a word.
"I had a nightmare too. It was pretty silly actually." She shook her head and snorted a little. "but, ehm, I wanted to ask you something.." she was nervous. I was surprised to read she felt a little guilty for the way she treated me. Especially because Charlie told her this morning I'd been through a lot before I got here. It was a good thing she hadn't ask further about that.
I nodded at her question.
"Ehm.. alright, promise me you won't laugh okay?" she said, biting her lip. I shook my head no.
"Okay, well, did you notice there's something..strange about the Cullens? Or am I just the only one? And with that story Jacob told, about them being vampires? I mean it's so weird but I kind of believe it you know. I even searched the internet." She confessed. Now I needed to watch out with what I said.
"Well, they're different that's for sure. What did you found on the internet?" I wanted to know how much she actually found. Maybe it was just the crap everyone told kids with Halloween.
"Oh, eh…about vampires. There are different kinds. Like, the Stregoni Benefici or… Nelapsi…even more. The site said the first one were good vampires. I mean that's good news right?" she was still nervous.
"Uhm..yeah I think it is. But maybe you should just let it..be?" I suggested. She knew more than I wanted.
"No..I can't. I want to know about Edward. He's been acting so weird all the time. And I'm sure he's in love with me, so I think it's only fair if I know his secrets." She answered curtly. And here I thought we were getting some peace between us.
"Look, Bella. Do what you want. It's not any of my business. But be careful. And don't jump to conclusions so fast. Maybe you're absolutely wrong." I replied. I needed to safe their secret.
"Exactly. I do what I want. And if I'm sure Edward is a vampire, you'll be the last to know!" she hissed before stomping out of the kitchen. I still sat on my chair, staring into nothing when I heard her yell.
"I'm going for a walk. See ya, captain clumsy!" with that, she slammed the front door shut. I sighed and grumbled again. I was bored of sitting at a table, so I started with the preparations of the promised High Tea. Maybe I could distract myself with that.
I made sure everything I needed was set on the kitchen table, within reach. I started with making little sandwiches with different kinds of spreads – salmon with garlic butter and cheese with cream cheese and chervil.
After those were done and placed neatly on a plate, I moved further with the cupcakes. I made the baking mix and let it drip into the tins. I placed it in the oven and moved on with preparing the fondant and icing. It wouldn't be a huge high tea; only cupcakes and sandwiches, but Charlie would love it. While the cakes were baking, I picked up my Harry Potter book and read further until the chime of the kitchen alarm told me the muffins were done. I got them out and let them cool down a bit. Once cooled, I applied different colors of fondant and patterns. On one of them, I wrote – I Love Daddy.
I cleaned up the counter and went back to reading, waiting for Charlie to return from the reservation.
"Bella? Melody?" I heard the familiar gruff voice of my dad and I immediately shove my book aside.
"Hey Dad! I made you the mini High Tea I promised you!" I said brightly. His face softened at seeing my smile.
"You did, honey? That's really sweet! So, where is your sister? than we can start before it gets wasted." He said as he followed me to the kitchen, where the table was set with etageres and a teapot.
"Bella's taking a walk…oh wait, she's back." I said when I heard her thoughts from outside. What she was thinking made me worried. She'd made her choice – she wasn't going to back down from Edward because he was a vampire. Having a vampire boyfriend sounded pretty awesome to her, just like in the vampire diaries.
"Hey guys. Eh..wow. You've busy! I'm starving!" she kicked out her shoes and sat down next to Charlie. I gave Charlie the special cupcake I made for him and he smiled, the deep emotion written all over his face. At least I could make someone happy.
"Enjoy." I giggled and we started to eat. I had some thinking and warning to do, but that was planned for later – right now I would just turn the knob and stop thinking.
Later that night, when I made myself ready for bed, I'd already made a plan.
I would tell Alice as soon as Bella revealed her suspicious to Edward. Which she most likely would. I'd thought about telling her now, but I was sure they would run if I did. I didn't want that to happen. if I only thought about a life without Alice or Edward in it…or even without Rose and Jasper..I didn't even want to think about that. I didn't understand my emotions and feelings anymore. maybe that was also part of the transformation, but I didn't dare to ask Adam about it – he probably wanted to know why. I didn't know why. I felt things I didn't want to feel, things I don't want to feel and things I never felt before. It was all really tiring.
I quickly crawled under the duvet and sighed deeply once. I'd been trying to ignore the faint sounds coming from Bella's room for at least ten minutes now. Her mind didn't make it easier for me. The things she thought about Edward…Good Lord! And here I thought my siblings were worse when it came to anything that includes sexuality. I grabbed a pillow and pushed it over my ears, waiting for my sister to be..done. It was a good thing for her that Charlie always slept so tightly. Off course I had supersensitive hearing, he didn't.
"…My god!" I heard Bella whimper. I gritted my teeth and scrunched my eyes shut. it was like this every single night. It was almost like she needed an orgasm or she wouldn't be able to sleep.
I waited until it was completely silent and Bella was in dreamland. I put the pillow that was clamped on my head, back in its place.
My sister have tried to give me 'the talk' for two years now. I always had a way to sneak away as fast as I could muster. They kept asking me about my sexual activity. When I once asked them in return why the hell they wanted to know that, they just answered that it was an important subject to talk about. I'd blushed furiously and rolled my eyes, before diving under the kitchen table. It wasn't something I was busy with. Bella, way to obviously, was. off course I'd been curious about things, but I never acted on it.
And now I was actually considering that it maybe was smart to get a little used to that. You never know what could cross your path. But how in the world did it work? All those other's probably had someone in their heads whom fulfilled their fantasies in lust-filled dreams. I hadn't. Or maybe I did…but I couldn't bring myself to supposedly think about him like that. The blazing blush that crept in my cheeks when I only thought about thinking about him. I really needed to stop that. I shook my head and waited for my blush to sink. Now, thinking about how awesome the ceiling looked – really distracting – I fell asleep within moments, forgetting every sexy thought I wanted to think about someone in particular.
Bella and I arrived at school a little earlier than planned. not that I minded much – I still needed a cool down and the morning air of Forks was a good way to go for that. I sat down on one of the picnic benches outside and started drawing mindlessly. I wondered where Alice was. maybe still hunting, but it was a little sunny. So they were possibly back in town, but couldn't get out because of the weather. Which left me on a very boring friendless Monday.
When I took a look at my 'dribbles' I gasped. This was getting creepy. I obviously hadn't just dribbled little hearts, rainbows and stars. No, my subconscious was much more detailed. I had drawn a face portrait of Edward. everything included – smoldering eyes, panty-dropping smile and not to forget his amazing sex-hair. It looked like a real shot photograph. I'd drawn like this before – when my sisters asked me to do so, but it was weird I was so distracted, that I drew an almost cloned image of him.
Why did he keep getting into my head?
It was lunchtime by now. It was awfully boring without Alice, Rosalie and Jasper. I sat with my old group again, listening to their conversations without mingling myself in it.
"Okay. So what time are we going tonight? Need to ask my Dad if he's okay with it." I caught Bella, Angela, Lauren and Jessica's conversation while I slowly ate my sandwich. They were heading to Port Angeles tonight, a place close by, to shop for dresses. Bella's wasn't going off course, nether was I, but I wanted to go out for the night.
"You're going to PA? Do you mind if I join you? I need a few things from a few shops." I suddenly ask, surprising myself. I was afraid for their answers – they probably wouldn't want me there with them. As they considered, I read their minds sneakily.
'She? Why does she suddenly think she can talk to us? She should sit with the Cullens. But…if she's with us, I have lots of fun by making fun of her.' Lauren Mallory would only agree with something, if it worked in her benefit.
'she's probably not what you call the shopping type. Look at those shoes, so ugly! At least she won't claim my time for dress shopping then.' I never expected Jessica Stanley to think anything positive about me, so this wasn't a surprise either.
'the things she said about me…and now she suddenly wants to be with us again? I don't get her.' Luckily, Angela Weber wasn't all too cruel.
'…does she have to..but if the other's are fine with it...No! I don't want my baby sister with us, but damn, what if she tells Charlie. Then I'm not even allowed to go at all. Stupid little sister.' At least Bella thought it was kind of nice to have me with them. Yeah, right. Huge sarcasm.
"Sure, Captain Clumsy, join us. we're leaving right after school." Lauren spat after the four of them had exchanged looks of approval.
Luckily, like this, I wouldn't have the chance to think..sexy thoughts. I would spare myself lots of embarrassing moments.
