Chapter 29: Consequences
At the end of the day, I had almost forgotten that I had agreed to meet Cassius Ackerley that night to do homework. However, I was reminded of it when Lily mentioned going to the library after dinner herself, to sort out some Heads paperwork.
When I walked into the large, bookcase-filled room, I found Cassius already in the middle of the assignment. Several pieces of parchment were spread out in front of him, and he was diligently writing out runes on one of them.
"Hey." I said, sitting down next to him.
"Oh, hi." He made room for the large runes dictionary I'd been holding and gave me his crooked-toothed smile. "Ready to translate some Etruskan?"
"Yeah, thanks for agreeing to help me out." I said, glad to see someone smiling again. Overall the girls and I hadn't had the best day. Telling them that it wasn't Sirius who had spiked the pasties didn't ease their annoyance or apprehension. Plus, the rumors people were throwing around about Lily were just as bad during dinner, and a few of the Slytherins insulted Mary and Emma as well when they tried to talk back.
Translating runes was almost a nice distraction from the stress I'd been feeling ever since I traveled through the dimension portal. I didn't usually feel that way about Runes homework, but since Cassius was there I didn't have any problems with getting stuck on some particular character. In fact, he knew the language so well, we only had to use the dictionary two times.
"I can't believe I'm already finished!" I said less than an hour later, setting down my quill. "You're the best. An honest life saver!" I beamed at him.
Cassius blushed and shrugged. "Glad I helped."
"Hey..." I paused, hesitating, unsure of whether I should take the risk. After a moment I decided it was worth it. Cassius seemed trustworthy enough. Even though I'd known the fourth year boy for only a week, the man I had called Professor Ackerley had been fair and honorable. I continued, "There's this book I have, written in runes. I've been trying to read it, but I'm having trouble with the majority. Any chance you'd have a look for me one of these days?"
"Of course!" he replied eagerly. "Although.. what language is it in?"
"I'm not actually sureā¦" I said honestly. "I'm familiar with a few of the runes. I think it's related to Medieval Futhark, but it's a bit hard to tell."
"Do you have it with you?"
"No." It was hidden in one of my drawers, under a pair of spare robes.
"Oh, well can you bring it to class then?"
That didn't seem like the best idea either, since I didn't want just anyone to see me carrying it around. What if someone read the title and recognized it as a book about jumping between dimensions?
"Actually, I'd rather keep this a bit private." I quickly thought of a good excuse. "I think it might be very expensive and I don't want other students to see me with it, you know?" Cassius seemed to understand. He nodded, even more excited. "How about we meet tomorrow, here, right before breakfast? The library's open early, and there'll be hardly anyone here, right? You can take a quick look at it then."
"Alright!" agreed Cassius.
I thanked him again before we both packed up our things, and he left.
I, however, didn't head out the library door as he did. Instead, I walked past several bookshelves in the direction Lily had gone when the two of us had walked in together.
And sure enough, I soon heard her voice.
"What do you mean you aren't coming tomorrow?" she said, her voice angry but shushed since she didn't want to yell in a library.
James' tone of voice however, was quite normal, almost relaxed. "I mean I am not showing up. Won't be present. Shall not be in attendance."
I stood still, hidden from view by the shelves. Eavesdropping hadn't been my plan; I was simply going to try to have a quick friendly chat with them both, in attempt to break any tension. However, they were clearly arguing, and I wanted to know what about, so I decided it was better to not interrupt.
"You can't just ditch rounds because you feel like it, Potter! They're part of your duty as Head Boy!" Lily was getting annoyed.
"I made other plans." James said, still seemingly nonchalant.
There was a pause before Lily declared, "I'll report you to Dumbledore."
James' voice grew colder. "Will you?"
Lily didn't back down. "Yes. Since you don't care what I think, perhaps you'll care when he takes your badge."
"You would find a way to make this harder for everyone."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well the obvious solution here is that you find a replacement. That's why I'm giving you notice a whole day in advance." Lily scoffed at this. James continued, his words getting more frosty. "But no. Of course. It's not a surprise that your first reaction is to tattle to the professors. You love acting all high and mighty about duties, getting people in trouble for stupid shite." He gave a rather mean chuckle. "Remember when you said I make a horrid Head Boy and I don't deserve the honor? Well, perhaps you should take a good look at yourself, Evans. Take a good, bloody look at yourself."
As I stood still for a moment, in shock at hearing James give such a speech, Lily suddenly stormed past me, her face stony.
"Lily-" I tried to stop her. I was slightly embarrassed at getting caught listening in, but it wasn't the worst of my worries right at that moment.
But she didn't stop long enough for me to try and calm her. "I'm not in the mood, Luna." she said curtly, before walking off.
I took a moment to collect myself before turning the corner of the bookshelves to see James. I furrowed my face even more when I saw that he had gone back to doing some rather boring-looking paperwork.
"James?" I asked, tentatively.
"Oh, hey Luna." He looked up at me with a smile.
"I.. I heard you and Lily talking just now." I admitted.
"Yeah, she just stormed off." James replied. "Left me to finish the rest of tonight's paperwork by myself. How very kind of her, right?"
"I would have done the same if you said to me what you just said to her." I said pointedly. "What was that all about?"
James didn't seem very concerned. "I'm just fed up with her, I suppose."
"That's no reason to be such a downright prick."
"I didn't say anything worse than what she says to me all the time." James shrugged.
I couldn't believe this. "Well that was horribly counterproductive to getting her to go out with you!"
James looked at me in all seriousness, finally. "Well maybe I'm not trying to do that anymore."
My eyes widened. "But you like her! I thought you liked her! Even loved her -maybe!"
"Loved her?" James gave another cold laugh that sounded horribly uncharacteristic of him. "Did I give you that impression? Hah, well I guess I can't blame you. I did consider calling it that myself, for a while. Only shows how pathetically idiotic I was being, doesn't it? It was nothing but a stupid obsession, I've come to realize."
"A stupid obsession?" I repeated dumbly.
"Yes. I suppose I understand why I found her attractive. She's a good-looking bird, I'll give her that. But now I see that that only makes her personality even more of a tragedy."
"What-!" I exclaimed, my mouth hanging open. "How can you-! Is this stupid bullshite something Sirius managed to convince you of? Because honestly you sound like a downright arsehole, just like him! Her personality even more of a tragedy-! I can't believe you would say that!"
The frost crept into his voice again, and this time directed at me. "No, no one convinced me into this. I happened to have a few realizations on my own. And frankly, you need to butt out of this because it's none of your business. I don't know why you're so crazy about the idea of Evans and me dating, but no one wants that to happen anymore, so you should just drop it."
"Just drop it?" I sat there, stunned once again. I couldn't just drop it! Apart from the fact that he and Lily would make an amazing, happy couple if they just got over their stupid prejudices, there was the fact that a whole lot of my family would never exist if the two of them failed to fall in love! Not to mention Voldemort would likely triumph and rule over the wizarding world.
"James," I swallowed my annoyance at being called crazy and practically begged him, I was so scared, "Just a few days ago you told me about how you thought she was kind, selfless, and brave. You said she helps people. You said that you like how she has a passion for life. You said something about singing and dancing, and sugar quills. Did you forget all that? Is this about last night's party? Or something else?"
James had a strange look on his face, and it took me a second to realize that it was disgust. "It doesn't matter. Just drop it, Porter. Evans and I aren't going to happen. Accept that."
"At least tell me why you changed your mind?" I asked, desperate.
"Like I said, I've made realizations." He was growing angrier.
"What kind of realizations?" My voice was soft, still with a note of pleading.
"The kind where I've opened my eyes to what a huge, annoying, prissy bitch Lily Evans is." James replied. "The kind that have been a long time coming."
"You can't..." I was trying not to cry. "How can you say that?"
Did all this happen because of my party? My stupid welcome party? The back of my throat was prickling. Did I manage to completely destroy everything already? Did I just singlehandedly make my dad, my future self, and my brothers unborn, just by existing and not minding my own business like I should have been doing this past week? Did I just personally become responsible for all the death and torture and pain that my own father had stopped from happening by defeating the Dark Lord?
James wasn't paying attention to me. He had gone back to his paperwork. He didn't look up as I got up and left the library in a daze.
A/N: So, things are bad. And James is being a jerk. But there's a reason for it, we'll see.
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