Hi! You might have sensed we are well into the last third of this story.
Background music suggestion: Johann Sebastian Bach: Keyboard Concerto No. 5 in F Minor BWV 1056 - II. Largo.
Chapter 29 - Recovering
The future's in our present hands
Let's reach right in
Let's understand
If you want it you've got to believe
- Lenny Kravitz: Believe
...
Loki was on his bed, eyes closed. He wasn't sure how long he had been in the cell. Days blurred together in his tired mind. It was one of those rare moments he was awake, and during those moments he thought of Diana. He would summon a memory of her. This time he was on Midgard again, singing to her as she fell asleep in his arms. The memory filled him with so much pain...and love.
Suddenly Loki's thoughts were interrupted by a sound - or actually the absence of it. He realized the forcefield of his cell was turned off and just after a few seconds it was turned back on again. Slowly, he began to open his eyes to see what was happening. He was still so drained even controlling his eyelids required a lot of effort.
"Loki."
He recognized the voice and was stunned. When he opened his eyes, Frigga was there, right in front of him, kneeling by his bed. Before he fully understood it, her arms were around him.
"My son."
"Mother."
He sounded so weak.
"I came as soon as I could. Please let me help you," she whispered.
Almost immediately Loki felt her magic invigorating him.
...
It had been three days since Diana had awoken and even after that she had been sleeping most of the days. Whenever she was awake she wished to try walking. On the fifth day she dared to ask trying it outside. Eir had first refused this but Diana had convinced her. She so wished to see Asgard with her own eyes. It was actually Eir herself who eventually accompanied her to the gardens of the healing rooms.
All around Diana were views that made her want to cry. She could see waterfalls that seemed to fall eternally, behind them a starry dusk with colours she immediately wished to capture on canvas. Diana was walking barefoot for she just wished to feel the soil of this realm under her feet. It somehow made it easier to take it all in.
"I would wish to tell you something," Eir suddenly said.
She had been supporting her as they walked. Diana looked at the older woman curiously.
"What it is?"
"Let us sit first."
They sat down on a bench in the quiet part of the garden. Eir shook her head and smiled.
"Fifteen days ago...When you and Loki suddenly arrived at the healing rooms, I couldn't believe my eyes."
Now Eir looked Diana in the eyes.
"As I told you before, I was Loki's mentor, but most of all I was and I still consider myself, his friend. So when he did what he did and was sent to Midgard..."
Eir sighed.
"I asked for his return every day and time passed...And I just couldn't believe when it actually happened."
"You asked his return from whom?" This part of her sentence had caught Diana's curiosity.
Eir's bright blue eyes looked thoughtful.
"I believe you have heard of the One Beyond Time."
"I have."
Yes, she in a way knew of this being.
"Believe it or not but I saw you in a dream, not that long ago. Both you and Loki. He was playing this particular song I know and you were painting stars, on a ceiling."
Diana felt quite confused although somehow what she had just said made her feel strangely happy. It had been an interstellar message.
"That sounds incredible," she found herself saying.
"I understand that. I just felt you needed to know this."
Diana knew she would be thinking about Eir's words long after this.
They began to walk again and a thought crossed Diana's mind.
"What was Loki like when he was young?"
Diana's question made Eir first smile curiously, but then she looked a bit sad when she told of a introvert prince who lived in the shadow of his older brother. Of a sensitive soul who built a shield of his mind. Of a loyal friend. Indeed, Loki had been very loyal to the ones loyal to him. Eir looked even more sad when she told she believed this was the reason he had broken in such a way. He felt the ones he loved the most had betrayed him.
"We didn't speak much as we were working in such a concentrated manner..." Eir began, looking Diana most kindly.
"But I could see he felt very much responsible for you."
Diana had hoped for any other word.
Responsible.
Had healing her been some duty to him, she couldn't help thinking. The tiredness suddenly took over her, dragging her thoughts to darkness and that moment the massive wound reminded of itself. Eir immediately noticed this and they walked back in.
...
Diana thought a lot about One Beyond Time. She sensed something, like she was taking steps on a path set out for her. And having this thought she felt somehow ridiculous and she tried to shake it away. But it was a very persistent thought. Later that evening Eir told Diana that Loki was still in the cell but now he was being helped by his mother.
He was not alone.
Diana felt so relieved to hear this. She also inquired had there been any progress of Loki's matter in the council. Eir had asked her testimony two days ago and it had been taken to the council. There was no progress but Eir seemed somehow more hopeful.
Already the day following her request Thor had brought Diana her diaries and she had begun to read them, unraveling the mystery. She found out Loki had been very coherent after all. He had never told her of his attack on Midgard but he had actually told her so many things, one way or another. Somehow she now understood his guilt. Reading the diaries one particular question invaded her mind and she just longed to ask it. Actually she felt her heart decided it would not leave Asgard without asking it. Diana continued reading the diaries and also now things about One Beyond Time...Poems, songs, legends she had found in the library of the healing rooms. This entity or whatever it could be called - 'God' probably on Midgard - intrigued her.
...
The following evening Diana was moved to a room in another wing and was told her condition would be observed. It was a really nice and a much larger room than she had been in. It even had a balcony. That first evening she just sat there, wrapped in a quilt, looking at the dusk. Eventually it shifted from deepest hues of purple to black and it was then the constellations appeared. She knew she could've watched it for ages. And she couldn't help but thinking about Loki.
He is over a thousand years old...
Diana tried to imagine living over fifty times the life she had lived so far. She couldn't. And she couldn't help thinking that to Loki she must've have seemed so young...Like a child probably.
He has seen these stars so many nights.
Diana closed her eyes and found herself asking something.
If you hear me...Please let him see these stars again. Soon.
She swallowed and almost didn't dare to think the following thought.
But she did.
I would so wish stay with him. Somehow.
But her mind instantly added a condition.
But only if he wishes that too.
For once Diana succeeded holding back the tears, wrapping the quilt tighter and concentrating on the stars. An amusing thought actually passed through her mind. It was the reason why parts of the Asgardian night sky were so familiar to her. Indeed, it was those parts she had painted...
Diana decided to read more and opened one of the books again. As she continued to read, her heart leapt in her chest.
The song.
On that page in front of her she was reading the words Loki had sung to her. The words she had never been able to forget. Yes, they were slightly different but this was the song. And now tears rose in her eyes when she read what the name of the song was.
The Song of the New Beginning.
Following an impulse she rushed to her room and closed the door behind her. She sat on the bed with the book in her hand and tried to remember the melody.
And it came.
...
The following morning there was a knock on the door. Diana assumed it was Eir. She was resting in her bed, reading another book.
"Please do come in."
A woman Diana had never seen before entered the room. She looked like she was in her forties or fifties had she been a Midgardian. The lady, for she clearly was a lady, was blonde and had noble, soft features. Diana looked at the woman puzzled. She didn't look like someone who worked in the healing rooms.
"I am sorry to disturb you since you are still recovering, Diana Alansdottir, but I wished to meet you. I am Frigga, the All-Mother."
Loki's mother.
The queen of Asgard.
First Diana felt she couldn't form a single word. Then she finally gathered herself.
"I am so sorry...I do not know how to address you."
"Do not worry, my dear," the queen said smiling and approached her.
"You can call me Frigga."
"How are you doing, my dear?" she asked looking at Diana.
"I-I...am healing," Diana said still looking at her wide-eyed.
"I am happy to hear that. Like I said, I just wished to see you. I could not help myself. I have seen Loki now."
"How is he?" Diana asked in a second.
Frigga couldn't help noticing her forthwith reaction.
"He is recovering too," she said smiling.
Diana blushed a bit realizing how direct she had been.
"He has changed a lot...I cannot help thinking of your role in that. I have heard of you, Loki's Midgardian friend."
Diana stared at her letting her words sink in.
"I am a mother. I wished to know of him..." she said smiling warmly.
"And yes, I know what my son has done but I also know his hardships...I do hope you know he is very fond of you," the All-Mother said smiling kindly. Frigga could see Diana looked quite confused by her words.
"I know Loki sometimes has difficulties expressing himself."
Diana just nodded. Frigga noticed she was trying very hard to control her expressions.
"I just want you to know, whatever happens Diana, you can count me as your ally."
Diana just felt so baffled. The All-Mother seemed so straightforward yet so cryptic at the same time.
Fond of her? An ally?
But now Diana knew there was a question she needed to ask. For Loki.
"Frigga, there is something I need to ask you..."
"What is it, my dear?"
Diana cleared her throat, feeling quite nervous.
"I am sorry to be this forward but have you actually ever apologized him? And has Odin? Because that is something he needs to hear."
Everything in the way Diana had asked these questions made Frigga suddenly very aware the young woman in front of her loved his son. And Diana could see the All-Mother had understood the context of her questions perfectly.
"I believe we have both apologized in our way but I do understand why you ask this. It is a very difficult situation, especially with his father."
Diana nodded. She could hear the pain in Frigga's voice.
"Eir said I cannot stay here long so I should leave you to rest now dear. Thank you for seeing me. I wish to see you again."
Please...don't go just yet.
There was still a question burning on Diana's mind. She summoned all her courage.
"Frigga..."
The All-Mother could see Diana looked quite anxious.
"Yes, what it is?"
"There is a question I would really want to ask Loki. Could you ask it for me?"
The look in Frigga's eyes was most compassionate.
"Why of course. What is it?"
"Would he do it again?"
Frigga nodded.
"I promise I shall ask him this."
...
Frigga sat down in the chair placed next to Loki's bed.
"I met her. She truly is lovely."
"She is," Loki tried to state in a most neutral tone.
He had tried not to think of Diana but had realized this was not possible.
"And I can see you love her," Frigga said.
Loki closed his eyes, trying so hard to control his emotions.
"What difference does it make whether I love her or not? She could have hardly forgotten what I have done," he said almost angrily.
"You are right, she has not. In fact, she had a question for you."
Loki's eyes immediately shot open and stared at this mother.
"What is it?"
"She wanted to know would you do it again."
He sighed closing his eyes again.
"What a question…If I were in that same point in my life again, of course I would do it again."
He had a feeling though what her question had actually meant.
"Loki, you know she didn't in fact wish to know that."
He nodded.
"Yes..." he said almost inaudibly.
He opened his eyes to meet his mother's.
"I do regret."
Something in the ambience of the cell shifted. Frigga looked at him making a small nodding gesture. Then she left and it was not unclear to Loki where she was going. He felt desperate knowing whom she would see for it was the one he desired to see the most.
Frigga walked through the corridors again. She was being a messenger.
...
Diana's heart skipped a beat as Frigga told what Loki had answered. It felt as if she placed the one of the last missing pieces in the puzzle and it was one piece she had secretly hoped for. She had just needed to hear it, and she knew he would tell Frigga the truth.
There was still hope for him.
Frigga was now looking out of her opened window.
"I just wish Loki to find himself again and I can see he is now well on his way."
She turned and could see Diana was in deep thought.
"My dear, would you like to have some tea with me? I have heard you apparently enjoy this refreshment."
"I'd love a cup," Diana instinctively replied.
...
Loki was standing in his cell and he couldn't help thinking about her question.
Could she...
No.
He cut the thought off. With force. He pressed his head down and shut his eyes tightly. He had lost her so many times...And he just knew his heart couldn't take losing her once more.
How could she have forgiven.
It is impossible.
Suddenly Loki heard steps. He saw one of the Einherjar guards approaching and knew it could mean only one thing.
It was time.
