A/N: I had the weirdest dream last night. Now I want to wander around the Palace of Kings and High Hrothgar to see if the location in my dream is even a place. XD The dream was both beautiful and strange at the same time. I'm not sure what to make of it.

Aria: Who could take me or my Dovahkiin seriously when drunk? XD The abnormality of it makes even things that make sense sound ridiculous! Lol.

Guest: (27) Thank you! (28) Is it? XD

About this scene...This is a scene I'm not one hundred percent sure will make it into the final product. It's weird and random and reminds me too much of my old style of writing. I have no idea exactly where it is placed either, just that it's gotta be after the Dark Brotherhood incident sometime. Probably before the topics with Naomi in them in the end. Not exactly sure. The details of the scene are that a Q, not the one Crystal had made a deal with, appeared claiming o have a solution for keeping my Dovahkiin from being dragged through realities again. While I will be having a solution be found, I am not sure I will use another Q to find it for them and even if I do, this scene will likely be different in the final product. In hindsight, I could've done a different scene for this topic, but oh well...

# 029 - Happiness

I crossed my arms, considering the woman who stood in front of us. We stood in the Underforge of the Companions, Ulfric and Galmar accompanying us as we were discussing the problem I faced with Q and the two were determined to help me thwart it. This woman was claiming to have a solution for us, but before she would help, she wanted me to answer a question. The catch to it was that as I answered, those around me would be given glimpses into my past. I wouldn't be able to control what they saw, I would have to allow myself to completely vulnerable.

"Why should we believe that you have a counteraction to Q?" I asked. "He's...Q…"

"He is Q and I am Q," the woman said. "It is not just a name, it is a species. The Q you speak of has broken the laws by messing with your life so much, and he continues to break our laws. It is unfortunate you cannot return to your home, you should feel free to make a new home here, in Skyrim, with your friends, without fear he may meddle again."

"That's one thing we can all agree on," Aela said, shifting her weight onto one leg. She looked at me. "I may not always agree with you, but you deserve to be happy."

I sighed a bit. "Ok," I relented. "But why can't you just, I dunno, imprison him? Or kill him?"

"A Q cannot die," she replied. "It would fray the very fabric of the multi-verse. And have you ever tried to imprison a near all-powerful being?"

I crossed my arms. "Only God is all powerful."

She gave a soft smirk. "Always the one to point out the obvious," she said. "But those of the council are close. And Qs are as close as a non-divine can get. Only the divines would be able to imprison him. But they do not wish to take away the freedoms of their creations."

I gave a long suffering sigh. "Ok… What is the question?"

The woman looked at me a moment. "What is happiness to you?"

"Happiness?" I crossed my arms and thought for a moment. "That is...a complicated question. Happiness is...a number of things."

"Perhaps you should enlighten us," Q said.

I let out another sigh as I looked up to the ceiling, not seeing it, but seeing past it to memories.

"Happiness is spending time with family, just being silly with them or serious…"

As a child, I wandered around a zoo, simultaneously holding a water fight with my mom, grandmother and brother as well as looking at the exhibits. I spent an extra long time at the wolf enclosures.

Another scene appeared of my sister and I walking along a beach, as adults. More like dancing along it as we sang the most random of songs we could think of. Just a day where we were just existing as sisters, being as silly as we dared be.

"Playing games with my friends…"

I sat in a chair, in front of a screen, headset on as I spoke with my friends as our characters fought virtual monsters. I was laughing as we told jokes and watched as some of our enemies just jumped to their own deaths.

Another scene as I sat at a table with one of my best friends and his family, playing card games and laughing at each other.

"It's realizing that it doesn't matter what happened in the past...you can always make friends out of enemies…"

I ran into someone I hadn't seen for years once. Briefly it flashed to the days they used to bully me. This encounter, however, was nothing but pleasant. We talked a bit, caught up, apologized for past mistakes, shared a mutual understanding of how hard life was, offered support to each other and moved on.

"It's finding out that you have a friend who will, and can, bring you back from the brink…"

I was curled up on a floor, tears rolling freely from my face. My computer sat in front of me, the words "She is dead" glaring accusations at me all I was seeing, hearing. One of my best friends appeared next to me and I looked up at him. He asked what was wrong and I told him. One of my best friends, one I saw as a sister, was dead. He didn't even hesitate before motioning for me to stand and then he pulled me into a long hug. Before long my other best friend showed up and after being filled in, gave me a hug of her own, a longer one. The two proceeded to spend the entire week making sure this vacation of ours was as fun as possible, to keep me away from the edge.

The scene of Vilkas talking sense into me appeared too, followed by when Ulfric was comforting me after Maisha's death.

"It's working hard at something and seeing it result in something good…"

I was making a video. Not just any video. It was a thank you video. I was grinning and expressing how happy I was that people took interest in my work, that I was able to make people happy, if only for a short while. I was so happy that something I was doing was finally paying off after what felt like a lifetime of failure.

I returned from defeating Alduin to find myself at the Throat of the World. Dragons were flying around, celebrating the end of the World Eater's tyranny. Paarthunax announced he was going to try to convince all the dragons to follow his way of piece. A number of dragons stopped to thank me and to promise they would leave humans, and other mortals, alone. Not all, but at least some of them would reframe from attacking the people down below. When I returned down to the world I had grown to call home, a sense of fear had lifted, not gone entirely, but lighter.

"It's doing something difficult and failing repeatedly, eventually to come out on top….especially if you succeed without lowering the difficulty…"

I was recording a video for my youtube. I was having a particularly hard time with this game. I was constantly low on health and ammo and being thrown into bad situations. Constantly I was hitting situations where I thought I could save people, only for them to die anyways even when I did. It was one of the hardest games I had ever played for the sheer emotional torture it had put me through. I died repeatedly and got frustrated and angry a lot. Finally, I triumphed over the main baddie—I had continued playing the game mostly to take them out for all the shit they had done. I watched the screen, not quite believing it was really over, but after a few more moments the credits began rolling. I placed my controller on the desk and threw my hands in the air, cheering my victory to the heavens.

I struggled through the fight against the Dragon Priest on the way to pursue Alduin. I was having a very difficult time with it. In fact, I got more of my injuries from this pursuit from this priest than I did from Alduin himself. Eventually, injured and bleeding, tired and feeling half beaten, I got the final shot off with my bow. I had ignited the arrow in order to do more damage and it hit him in the head. When it fell, I threw my hands up, exclaiming that it was about time, before falling to my butt to tend to my wounds before continuing.

"It's finding out that I don't have to feel alone or lost anymore…"

I found myself surrounded by people who care when I moved to Upstate and began going to my friend's church. I was loved, I was appreciated, I was allowed to get involved and was recognized for it, I wasn't brushed off when I spoke anymore, what I said mattered and meant something to people. When it was time for me to move on again, there were hugs and good wishes and people saying they'd miss me and goodbye celebrations.

I joined the Companions and under Kodlak's guidance slowly began to form a life in Skyrim. I grew to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could call the Companions my family and friends. Eventually, despite Kodlak's death, I was able to do just that. Then I joined the Stormcloaks and found more family among their number. Skyrim was becoming my home and her people my friends and family. I was starting to find myself again and despite still missing all of what I lost terribly, I knew I wasn't alone in life. It was hard and a constant struggle, but not one I was alone in fighting. Not anymore. I was starting to find that happiness, that joy that I had lost, regained, lost again in an endless cycle my whole life and I had hope I could hold onto it this time. A hope that would be tried and tried again, that would no doubt continue to be tried the rest of my life, but it was hope. And I'd do my best not to let that die.

"It is all those things….and more...I can't really think of how else to say it...nothing else seems even remotely explainable…" I hesitated as I ended off. "I remember the feeling I had whenever I gained even one subscriber, one follower, on youtube. I was always so happy and I remember thinking that I never wanted to lose that. That happiness that people cared to watch my stuff, that they liked my stuff, that I managed to make people happy when they watched my videos, that the number grew at all. And then that happiness bled into everything else, my life took a turn and I no longer felt like I was throwing myself at it only to be constantly knocked down. It was a breakthrough for me...when I lost it, I feared I'd never find that happiness again….and then I met all of you and over time, that happiness has slowly been creeping back." I smiled, grinning almost. "So, I guess, happiness is those people who surround me right now. Friends willing to stand by me in my time of difficulty and unsureness."

"Your feelings are genuine," Q smiled. "I can see why you were able to build a community around you."

I smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head as my friends all smiled.

"And don't forget when this is over," she continued. "You deserve to find that happiness that you never had."

"Hm," I hummed, tapping my toe on the ground. I still questioned that. "What's this solution you have?"

"It will take some preparation," she said, moving forward and calling up a map of Skyrim. She began explaining the steps we would have to take to ensure this worked.