Chapter 29 For you, I would
It was 20 minutes later when Eric appeared in the doorway of our bedroom and just stood there against the frame with his arms crossed and watched me as I laid flat on the bed and glared up at the ceiling in frustration. He didn't say anything and neither did I. We just stayed in our respective positions in complete silence even though I could tell he wanted to say something. I didn't turn to look at him because I was still kind of frustrated that he was on the same page as Molly and Sookie about this whole Mark thing. This wasn't like him, he was usually the first one to say yes to something like this. Hell, he was the one I usually had to reign in from doing something stupid and now he was changing the formula and I wasn't entirely thrilled with the sudden turnabout.
"Are you still mad at me?" Eric asked, breaking the short silence as I could hear his footsteps walking across the carpet towards the bed. "Or have you finally calmed down?"
"Don't be a smart ass." I snapped, lifting my head up to catch sight of him standing at the foot of the bed with that oh so infuriating smirk on his face that made me want to pull his hair out even more as I sat with a pout on my lips. "I'm not mad. I'm annoyed."
"Well that's an improvement, I like you better when you're only mildly agitated at me." Eric replied smartly, nodding almost triumphantly as if he won this one. "And besides, you're especially hot when you're like this."
"Don't you dare try and win me over with your fake compliments..." I turned my glare on him, trying my hardest to keep it up. But I was actually feeling like I was going to blush from his comment as I always did. Eric had no problem pointing out what he thought of my attractiveness, but that didn't mean I was going to cave so easily despite the smile threatening to take over. "It's not going to work Eric."
"Oh really?" Eric's lips curved up into an even tighter smirk as he flashed over to the side of the bed and laid down next to me, stretching his long form out in front of him before he looked at me and pointed out. "Then why are you smiling like that?"
"Because I have had a rough couple of days and sometimes I react in the most inappropriate ways." I still wasn't entirely happy, but I knew any frustration I held towards him was quickly dissipating once he started trying to make light of the situation. He always knew what to say and do to get out of a fight or a near fight as this was. But still I had to at least throw in one more jab. "You would know a little something about acting in inappropriate ways now wouldn't you Mr. Northman?"
"Can't deny that." He agreed, his lips twitching slightly more but they never gave way into a smile and instead kind of just turned neutral as he said. "Not that I don't love this little banter thing going on, but why do I have a feeling that this charming little mood of yours has nothing to do with me or the situation with Mark."
"Because you know me way too well." I grumbled with a sigh, my fingers twisting through the strands of my long damp hair as I thought about the real reason I probably had reacted more wildly and out of control then I usually did. I cocked my head to the side to look at Eric's waiting face and I just shrugged. "I don't know. I ...might have overheard part of your conversation with Godric and I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for your estrangement with him."
"You really like to feel bad for things that other people do, don't you?" He said, his head automatically shaking like he couldn't quite understand how people worked sometimes. Heck I didn't understand why I always did this, it was just me. Even when people did something to hurt me, I somehow found a way to be sympathetic towards them. Eric's hand went to my leg and squeezed it to get my attention. " Godric is the one to blame for our problems and how I feel about him. You are not at all held accountable for his and I's strained relationship."
"Yea, I get that. But you and Godric were this tightly bonded maker and child, more then any other vampires I have ever seen. It was that way for years, long before I came along." I couldn't believe I was going this route, I couldn't believe I was actually giving Eric the impression that it was ok to forgive Godric. But that's exactly what I was doing. I had heard the pain in his voice when he had been talking to his maker and I knew how much it was hurting him to have to keep Godric down there. And it was all because of me, granted it wasn't my fault but it was still my involvement that had lead to this. "You loved him long before me and then I show up in your life and you become so attached to me that you let your bond to Godric disintegrate over this one mistake."
"Yea, it was one mistake, but it was a huge one.." Eric's face twisted into confusion, him now the one that was thrown by this sudden turn and that did not happen all that often. There wasn't much that could faze Eric but this certainly did as he sat up next to me. "What exactly are you saying?"
"I'm saying, don't lose Godric over this." I retorted with my eyes directed down at my toes. I was still stunned that I was actually going to suggest what I had in mind. But this wasn't about me, it was about Eric and he needed this. I looked back at him again with pressed lips and said. "If you want to forgive him, then you should."
"I can't do that, it would be a betrayal to you..." Eric's mouth fell open like he couldn't believe I actually had the audacity to suggest this and that perhaps I really was losing my mind. Maybe I was, but I had a feeling that this was the right thing to do. But Eric didn't catch that sentiment. "How can I forgive him for this?"
"I don't know." I answered as honestly as I could because I really didn't know. How did you go about forgiving someone for nearly taking your life? And in Eric's position it was more difficult. I was the woman he loved, but yet it had been his maker who had done this. A maker he had been with for a thousand years. That just made things messier, but not impossible. "Eric, I may not be able to forgive him any time soon,but you can."
"You are out of your mind." Eric said with no restraint as I knew he would. He had always been a little behind when it came to see how people's emotions worked so I wasn't shocked that he wasn't catching on to what I was getting at. "How can you sit there and tell me it's ok to forgive the vampire who almost killed you?"
"Because I can tell how much it pains you not to have him in your life the way he use to be." I explained, reaching over to touch Eric's hand with my fingertips, feeling his cold skin underneath my warmth. While I was far from making peace with Godric, I wanted Eric to do it because it was what I knew he wanted, he just needed to know I was ok with it. "I love you enough to put aside my own feelings about him and let you do whatever you need to do for yourself."
"I love you for saying that, but it's not just about you. I'm mad at him too for what happened." Eric insisted, reaching his arm behind my back so he could pull me right into his lap before he leaned his chin against my shoulder and said. "I don't know how to let it go."
"It's different for you, you can move passed this because of your history with him and it wasn't you he attacked. It's not about letting it go and it's not about forgetting, because we'll never forget." I knew that much was true. Whether I forgave Godric or not, whether he and I were ever able to be friends again was , I would never be bale to forget what he had done to me. But somehow, someway we would find a balance again. "But we do have to forgive, even I can tell he's remorseful. It will take longer for me but not for you. You're already on the way to forgiving him and that's ok."
"I guess it's something to consider." Eric sighed, still not sounding entirely convinced that this is what he should do as we settled into each others embraces just when I began yawning. I knew sleep wasn't going to be far off for me after tonight's emotional journey and Eric must have known that as he laid both of us down and pulled the blanket over me and fell silent. I laid there in the dark with my back pressed against his chest, letting him think I was letting it go for now.
But in my mind, I was already thinking of contacting Molly in the morning to lift the spell on the room so Godric could be released.
The next afternoon
"I'm sorry. But are you out of your fucking mind?"
I stared at Molly from my spot across the table from her at a coffee shop in down town Shreveport the next day right after I had finished telling her the reason in had called her this morning for us to meet up this afternoon. I didn't tell her why when I made the call, just that we needed to talk. And I think she half expected me to bring up the Mark problem which had been the source of the reason why we met up the last time. But when we were actually sitting and I told her I wanted her to lift the spell so Godric can leave, it actually stunned her into a silence. At least until now.
"Ok...you obviously have some reservations and concerns about this." I nodded, my hands clutching the steaming cup of coffee that I had yet to take a sip of since it had arrived. I wish I could say I didn't see why she would be worried but I totally did. Heck I was even worried even though it was me who had suggested it in the first place. The only reason I had been sleeping at all in that house was because I knew there was no possible way Godric could hurt me. And the thought of letting him go was terrifying, but I had Eric to protect me and I was more then capable of taking care of myself now that I knew what I could expect from Godric. "Look, I know how out of the blue this is..."
"That's putting it mildly. This is out of the freaking ballpark." Molly replied with her hands pressed to her temples as if she could feel a pain coming on. "I just don't understand how you got to this point. What is with this sudden turnabout?"
"I know it doesn't make sense and while I haven't forgiven Godric and probably won't for a while, Eric needs to forgive him. And that's why I want you to do this." I explained, trying my hardest to say exactly how I felt but it was a little hard when I felt torn about this. But I had to keep in mind that this was for Eric, so I pushed on. "I love Eric to the point where I will release the vampire who attacked me just so he can be happy."
"What about you being happy?" Molly asked, her forehead wrinkling into a deep frown as our identical green eyes stared intensely at each other. "What part in this equation applies to you?"
"Eric getting what he wants, even when he doesn't know he wants it, is my part to play. I don't want him to hurt anymore and having to imprison his own maker hurts him." I told her, remembering how heavy Eric's voice had been last night when he was talking to Godric. He hadn't known I was listening or else I'm sure he wouldn't have let himself get that open but I had heard and now I had to do something about it. "So let's just release Godric and be done with it."
"Is this really what you want?" Molly asked me, her face and body language showing the extent of her growing concern and I couldn't really blame her. The daughter she had given up and was just trying to get to know again had only been attacked a few days ago and now I was asking her to release my attacker. I could see why she would be questioning my motives. "Or are you not thinking straight because of the Mark problem?"
"For once, I am thinking more long term and setting Godric free has major benefits." I said with a small laugh, taking a sip of my coffee. "You know I'm right."
"That's true. He would be a major adversary to Mark, as well as Eric would be." She nodded in agreement, her face thoughtful as if she were debating back and forth within her own mind if this was definitely a good idea. "But are you sure?"
"Beyond sure." I stated as confidently as I could even though I was feeling anything but that. "This is something I have to do."
"Alright, if it's what you want, then I'll do it." Molly sighed, her eyes showing that she did not want to agree with me but that there would be other things that needed her energy more then this. "I have some time before work, so let's go back to the house and I will do the counter spell."
All I could do was nod, preparing myself for the change that was soon about to take place.
An hour later
I couldn't hear what was happening down there in the basement when Molly and I had come back to my house, I refused to be there when she was performing the counter spell and instead just took to just sitting on the floor by the front door where she had left me while she disappeared down those dark steps. I didn't know what to expect or how long it would take, but I couldn't will myself to get up and go sit on the couch so I could be more comfortable while I waited. I could only remain frozen here as the silence grew so heavy and loud that it almost seemed like I gone deaf. But I knew I hadn't because I could still hear my slow and steady breathing and the squeak my shoes made on the tile as I kept my knees pulled up to my chest. I didn't know what to do or how to feel knowing that any moment the spell imprisoning Godric was going to be lifted and the only thing holding him back was the yards and yards of heavy silver chains. But I couldn't dwell on that for too long...
"It's done." Molly's voice broke through the haze in my head, restoring my hearing to normal as I lifted my head just to see her shutting the basement door behind her. I hadn't even heard her emerge, but now that she had, I was suddenly brought to my feet just as she came across the tiled floor and stood in front of me. "The spell worked. Once Godric is free from the silver, then he can leave."
"Wow." I was sure my face didn't look as thrilled as my voice sounded but I couldn't do anything about that. I had never been any good at hiding how I truly felt, Eric always did say I had a horrible poker face. But as torn as I was about this, I knew it had been the right thing to do. "Thank you, so much for doing this. I know you don't think it was very smart but it was for the best. And I'm sure if Eric was awake then he would thank you too."
"I wouldn't bet on it." She replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she hitched the strap of her bag up on her shoulder before looking over me. "Are you sure you will be ok? I mean, are you worried at all about Godric waking up and commanding Eric to free him?"
"Not at all. Eric would protect me and even if Godric came after me, well I'm more then prepared." I responded with a more real wave of confidence when I reached into my back pockets and showed her the chain of silver and the small stake and I had slipped back there while she was performing the spell. "I don't think he will try anything, but if he does then I won't hesitate to fight back."
"Wow, that is exactly the way I would have reacted." Molly chuckled, her fingers combing through her hair half-heartedly before she said. "I do have to take off now, work calls but...promise me you will be careful today. I don't want to regret doing you this favor."
"I will be fine. Don't worry. I will call soon so you know I haven't been attacked again." I assured her as she gave me a worried glance back before she walked out the front door towards her car so she could hurry away. As I watched her go, I maintained the same carefree look on my face at least until she couldn't see me anymore. And then I turned and shut the door, and before I could talk myself out of it, I gripped my chain of silver around my wrist and hand and clutched the stake in my other before I walked over to the basement door and disappeared behind it.
I made my steps fast and quiet while trying to keep my emotions neutral because I was going to be in the same room as him and Godric and I didn't want Eric to wake up. If he felt any kind of distress, then he would awaken even in the middle of the day and I couldn't have that. Especially when I had things to say to Godric and I needed a true test that what I had done was the right thing. So when I was walking across that dark room to the silent and still figure in front of me, it took everything in me to not panic. Godric was in a dead sleep as was Eric in the bed on the other side of the room, and not even my entrance into their resting area woke them. It wasn't until I was actually unraveling the yards of silver did it seem to jolt Godric awake and soon his eyes were meeting mine as our faces were only inches apart.
"Allison?" He asked, his voice full of surprise like he thought he was hallucinating this image of me releasing him from the silver that had held him captive for days. "Are you real? What are you..."
"Don't try and start a conversation. I'm only here to yell you something so listen up and don't try anything funny because I have a stake on me." I warned him, finishing the silver that bound his arms to the wall before leaning down to remove the ones tethering his feet to the floor. I felt a brief flash of fear at him having his arms free now, but I beat it down as I did not want Eric to wake up. I took away that last of the silver, setting it aside as I stood back up and faced a now free moving Godric for the first time in days. "The spell's been lifted. When night comes, you can leave."
"Thank you. Just...thank you." Godric could only seem to manage to express his thanks as it dawned on him what I had done and he made a move as if to step forward to embrace me, but I jumped back and raised my hand so he could clearly see the stake still in my palm. He froze in mid step, knowing that he shouldn't have done this and went back towards the wall. "I know how hard it must have been for you to..."
"I didn't do this for you, I did it for him." I insisted, dropping my tense stance and looked across the room to where Eric laid completely still, frozen in the vampire way of sleep and I couldn't help but smile. He was so peaceful in sleep and if Godric hadn't been here, then I would have curled up at Eric's side until he woke up. But I couldn't do that for a while. I turned back to look at Godric who was still watching me and said. " Eric won't say it, but he needs you and I love him enough to put his needs ahead of my own. And that's why I'm releasing you. So when the time comes, you're going to leave."
"Allison, I thank …." Godric began to say as I started backing away towards the door but he wouldn't get to finish as I cut him off.
"Don't thank me, thank Eric for loving you so much that he can't bear to keep you down here any more." I retorted, feeling my back hit the wall as I inched little by little over to the slightly ajar door. "Good bye Godric."
"Allison wait!" Godric called out suddenly, stopping me before I could leave and when I turned to face him, I was taken aback by the look of shame in his young features. " Will you ever forgive me?"
"Honestly?" I asked, wanting to know if he really wanted to know my answer because I didn't think he would like it. But he nodded, so I said the truth. "Right now, no. I can't forgive you."
Later that night
"You...are..completely...fucked !"
I barely even cringed when I heard Eric's angry voice erupt from the basement just as the sun set on the horizon. I knew just how incredibly furious he would be when he woke up and found Godric freed from his chains, so I didn't let it faze me as I sat there in the living room on the couch facing the door way just when he appeared with his arms hanging down at his sides with his hands curled into fists. I had been hours for this image and now it was finally here. I actually thought Godric would be the first to leave once the light was gone, hence why I still had the silver and the stake in my lap. But no, it was Eric getting his way as always and there he was in front of me like he want to break something. And knowing him, he probably would.
"Gee Eric, you seem angry about something." I said, probably more smartly then I should have considering his temper was skyrocketing at the moment. "What's wrong?"
"Are you kidding me? I just woke up only to see that Godric is now free from all that silver and I know I didn't do it myself which leaves you to be the one responsible for it. Not to mention, he also informed me that you got Molly to lift the spell so he could leave." Eric recounted in such a way that I know he was just daring me to make a comment that would invite a fight. But I would not rise to it because I didn't think I did anything wrong. But Eric clearly did. "What is the matter with you?"
"I had to do this, for you. Because even though you will never admit it, you need Godric in your life like he was before." I insisted, setting aside the silver and wood and got to my feet so I could meet him in the doorway. I needed him to trust me on this. I let him have his way last night and now it was my turn. "Eric, he's your maker and I know you want to forgive him and you should. Even if I can't."
"So you go and do this behind my back. That's just perfect!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air as he seemed unable to go beyond that to express his frustration over this. So I took a chance and jumped in.
"This was the right thing to do and you can't deny that you are happy that I did it." I told him, looking up at his barely controlled face but seeing in his blue eyes that there was a flicker of relief and that's how I knew he was happy about this. But his stubbornness wouldn't allow him to say it. "I don't regret this..."
"I don't want to interrupt, but I just want you to know I'm leaving." Godric's voice came out of nowhere, surprising both Eric and I as the older vampire suddenly appeared in the hallway with us and I nearly jumped back, my eyes staring at him hard. I felt like I had run head on into a brick wall,all the blood draining from my face and leaving me almost cold as I was suddenly faced with the now freed vampire who had attacked me almost a week ago. Godric didn't make a move towards me but he did speak again. And it was directed at me. "Thank you for your selfless act. I won't forget it."
"Wait!" I yelled just as Godric was turning on his heels to go out the door but when I surprised both him and Eric by stopping him, they both looked at me like I was crazy. And maybe I was but that didn't mean crazy was wrong. I turned my attention to Eric, who was staring at me in confusion before I said. "Go with him. Go spend some time together so you guys can bond again."
"Once again you are spouting off crazy talk." Eric was clearly taken aback by this statement of mine and it showed all over his face. But once more, his eyes gave away his true feelings, even as he tried to protest. "No. I can't do that. I won't..."
"You can and you will. You need to do this." I insisted, leveling him with a stare that said to not go against me on this. I knew how much it would mean to him and he just needed the push from me to know it was ok. " Eric, just go. It won't bother me if you want to go with him. This is not about me anymore. It's about you. And if you go, I promise I won't let it make things weird between you and I."
"You're serious?" Eric frowned, clearly doubting my ability to hold truth to my words. "You can do that?"
"For you, I would do anything." I smiled, for the first time feeling 100% ok with what I was telling him to do. It didn't matter how I felt about Godric or our situation. If telling Eric to re-bond with his maker was going to make him happy then I would do anything to make that happen. "Go."
Eric seemed unsure as the three of us stood there. Godric remained in his spot by the door, watching Eric and I as we argued back and forth. Eric however looked torn between staying here with me or going with Godric. He looked me, searching my face before looking at Godric and then back at me. I couldn't read his mind but the feeling came loud and clear through our bond.
"Give me an hour?" He asked finally, touching his hand to my face as if needing contact for true confirmation just as our eyes met. "I will return to you in just 60 minutes."
"Take all the time you need." I flashed him another smile, laying my hand flat against his and pulled it away from my cheek and nodded towards the door. "Go, I'll be waiting for you when you get back."
"You really are the best." Eric smirked, leaning down to kiss me briefly before stepping back and flashing out the front door behind Godric and left me alone in the house truly for the first time in a while.
I stood there for a moment just soaking in the immensity of this night. I knew I had done a good thing. I had put aside my own feeling and did something for the greater good. And Eric was the greater good. He was getting his maker back because I had been selfless enough to set him free. Eric wouldn't have judged me if I said I wasn't comfortable with settling Godric loose and he would have left it at that. But I was sympathetic, I was a pushover. And when I saw an opportunity to do something to make someone happy then I did it without regard for how it would affect me. I was too much of a people pleaser and one of these days it would not be beneficial, but luckily that day was not today.
Ring...ring...ring..
"Of course, the moment both vampires rush off and leave me alone, someone rings the doorbell. That's just great." I grumbled, as I made my way over to the door. I had been prepared to go upstairs and do some reading before jumping into bed, but the arrival at the door prevented me from getting what I wanted as usual. So when I reached for the door knob to yank it open, I was already frowning. But when I caught sight of the figure standing in front of me, I felt my face go cold for the second time that night as my eyes got wide.
And I gasped.
