Act 2 Scene 12

Harry and Ron finally made it out of the kitchen and their predicament caused Ginny, Draco, and Hermione to laugh hysterically. Ron's forearm and hand were stuck to Harry's boxers where his pants had started to fall despite the thick belt he had on. This caused Ron's arm to be stuck and every time he tried to disengage his arm, he ended up pulling Harry's underwear away from his body.

"Hermione, a little help here please!" Hermione shook her head and kept laughing, so glad her joke had worked on them. It hadn't been easy once she discovered the super glue laying around (she didn't know why) and decoded at some point she would get her two best friends. Dumbledore took pity on them and motioned them to go into the men's area. Draco left to see what happened.

Inside the room, Dumbledore was telling Harry that to fix this he needed to strip out of his boxers and then Dumbledore would pull them from Ron's arm. Draco snuck into the corner, watching as Dumbledore went to get Harry a new pair of boxers while he awkwardly stripped away from Ron.

"If anyone hears of this, I'll be richer than the Queen." Ron jerked around, causing Harry to trip as he had his pants around his knees.

"Malfoy, this doesn't leave this room or you'll find all your undergarments turned into diapers understood?" Malfoy nodded but still had fun watching Potter finally get away from Weasley and try to be modest.

A few minutes later, allowed the four men to reappear in the room. Ron's arm was red and looked a tad sore but he was otherwise unharmed. Harry was beat red in the face when he took a seat next to Ginny. Malfoy returned to the floor as Ron sat next to Hermione. Snape took this as the queue for everyone being ready and played the next video.

-Come in on the end of Umbridge sentencing Sirius to death and Dumbledore rescuing them-

Umbridge: Kiss them all, kiss the children!

Dumbledore: Magic! Ah, Harry, let's go boys. (escape)

Umbridge: No, get them! Ah, forget them. We'll get them later. Dementors, I order you to kiss Sirius Black.

Harry: The only person who's going to kiss Sirius Black is me.

Ron: And me.

Hermione: And me.

Draco: And me.

Yaxley: And I'll kiss him too.

"Apparently Sirius is a very kissable man."

"You can say that again. I think as soon as he was thirteen he was chasing skirts all over the castle. Annoyed my dad and Remus to no end."

"Why do I want to kiss my own cousin?"

"Why not?"

"Not going there Granger."

Umbridge: Potter? But I…but you just went…but I saw you go…but…DUH!

Hermione snorted at the reaction while Harry smirked at Ron. He had had a similar reaction when they had travelled like that.

Fine, it doesn't matter. Dementors, I order you to kiss all the childrens.

"Would Umbridge really do that?"

"Remember my trial?"

"True."

Harry: It's time put our Patronus' to the test. Get those happy thoughts ready.

Ron: and don't cross the streams.

All Five: Expecto Patronum!

"I wonder whose is whose."

"Mine's the stag obviously. At least they got one thing right." Harry was proud of his Patronus.

"I claim the genie!" Ron looked excited.

"I want the Muggle looking guy with the gun!" Malfoy looked at what was left.

"That means I get the first one. What was it?"

"The first one was a superhero of some sort. It's a Muggle good guy that beats up the bad guys."

"Eh, I'll live."

Umbridge: Now my fans' going!

Harry: Now for you Umbridge. You terrible, horrible bitch, you just want everybody to be as miserable as you are. You're so focused on your past that you can't appreciate the present. That's no way to live. How can you possibly move forward if you're always looking back?

"Wow Potter, quite the speech there."

"That's my Harry for you. He always gives someone a chance to redeem themselves before he's all bad-ass on them." Harry blushed again at Ginny's words.

"Ugh, lay it on any thicker Weaslette and he'll burst into flames."

Umbridge: You're right. How come I never saw it before?

"It's something I try to do all the time Harry. I'm very proud of where you've come." Harry smiled at Dumbledore, blushing stronger at the compliment.

Harry: Umbridge, there's always time to make amends.

Umbridge: How come I never saw…what a little faerie you are Potter!

"What?"

"After all of that, she's just like Voldemort! Unable to feel remorse and realize they're wrong!"

"Horrid bitch! After he put his wand away and became defenseless!"

Weapons now!

"I need to start doing that!" Harry looked at the gun and thought about it.

"Harry, there's no cure for a bullet."

"Maybe a knife then."

And the one behind your back.

"A sword really?"

"I can fence Potter."

"Really? Maybe I need you to teach me."

"Why?"

"Eh, dabbled with a sword in second year to kill a basilisk."

Now for you Potter, I think it's time for that long overdue punishment. I'm gonna pop your head off with my bicep. I swear to God, I'm gonna kill you Momma!

-Neigh!-

Firenze: Not if the good Firenze has anything to say about it.

Kids: It's Firenze, our centaur friend!

Firenze: It sure is.

"Ha, I loved him as a Divination professor. It was like laying outside looking at the stars on a nice summer night."

"Man his homework was easy too and he explained the purpose behind the methods of their ways. So much better than Trelawney!"

You! You, bitch, unhand HP at once.

Umbridge: Fine. I'm not afraid of you. I'm gonna p-own this pony! –fight-

"GO FIRENZE!"

"Don't let her in! Block on the left!"

"Yeah, show her you can take anything!"

"CHEAT! DIRTY PUNCH!"

Firenze: This must be the emotion you humans know as blood.

"Not an emotion really, but fight through it!"

I'm bleeding.

"Yes, smile and throw her game off!"

"NICE HOOK!"

Umbridge: Bring it motherfucker.

"Oh, that hurts."

Ron, Draco, Harry, Dumbledore, and Snape all cringed when she nailed him in between the legs.

"That's an unfair advantage in all male-female fights."

Firenze: My chest…

"Guess it would be on an centaur but still…"

Silence!

"YAY!"

"KNOCK HER OUT!"

Umbridge: No, no this impossible! I'm invincible.

Firenze: Oh ho, what marvelous strength!

Hermione gagged on her breath.

"No way…" Harry looked at her expression but it didn't click with anyone else of the teens.

"No idea what she's on about…"

Wondrous day, finally I may have found someone powerful enough to coitus with the centaurs!

"That's just disgusting!"

"My god that's horrible!"

"Burn my brain now!"

"UNCLE SEV I NEED TO BE OBLIVIATED NOW!"

Kids: YAY!

Umbridge: What?!

Firenze: I shall take her to my tree village and tonight the centaurs will make celebration (French pronunciation). With dance and song and music and much coitus with this one.

Kids: Yay!

Real Teens…

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Firenze: Thank You Harry Potter. You have saved my people.

Umbridge: No, I can't go into the forest with a bunch of centaurs. I have a boyfriend. Help me, help me, help me, help me!

Kids: Yay!

"Ugh, that was disgusting!"

"Way too many mental images now…"

"Nope, I can't even mention them they're that graphic."

"Stop your whining you brats and watch the next video."

AN: Almost Over….