Eyes that see into Infinity
Chapter Twenty Eight
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Part 2
Every second I close my eyes and every second after I open them, it's been a lifetime. And every minute more brings me closer to Phai.
They say when you have to let someone go, it's the hardest decision of your life. I was afraid because I didn't know what to do. No matter how hard I tried, I could never seem to convince myself that I was the shadow of his heart. And I allowed an unknown current to carry me away instead.
And as I drift downwards, into more darkness, severely damaged, I try to close my eyes.
Just like I always do.
He nodded, peeking over his round glasses as he checked his chart concerning the young man and where the teen was at currently.
The blonde was sitting quietly at the edge of the exam table, in the doctor's office with his shirt in his lap, the naked dark bruises around the cage of his ribs exposed, his back muscles and shoulders tenser than the wall he was staring at. The doctor giving him a reprimanding speech, on how he would have been best off avoiding that fight at school. It was best if he avoided fights altogether but Alex wasn't just there because of his injured ribs.
I've been slipping…falling on bad days. And as I put out of sight more of my bottomless despair, my heart seemed to be fighting against everything good for me. As if good things were just out of my reach.
Out of sight.
He was deeply glaring in his mind, angered, about everything…at this pointless long journey of an unhappy life. And in the next second he realized one thing; That all things must come to an end. He just happened to be stuck dead center with no end or beginning.
Lately I've been counting every second I breathe in and breathe out. Lately I've been finding it easier to turn my back on the things I love. Lately, I'm nowhere to be found. Lately my heart has been skipping its beats. Lately the fire I used to have has been burning out.
Lately I've been eternally missed, lonely and slowly losing my mind.
He lightly blinked, finding again his empty, distressed eyes staring hard at the boring white wall of the room, the wall he looked at every time he came in for his check-ups. And after years of staring at the face of this wall, he began to grow a connection with it over time. He reminded himself that he was everything like it. Numb and empty.
In time, Phai's tears will make themselves known and I'll try over and over to wipe away his blood shot eyes. There is no easy way to let him know; I am no longer his brave champion. I am no longer his fierce lion. Not even his mighty king. Because as far as he's concerned, his king is slowly dying…Not realizing that these emotions, this heartbreak, confirm that I'm more alive than ever.
I wish I could brag. I wish I could say I'm finally asleep. But being awake is all I have.
"So," Dr. Phillip Conahan began as he flipped slowly through the files, scanning through it again seeing if he missed anything important. It certainly felt like it. "Are you ready for prom?"
"Haven't thought about it." Alex answered, dispassionately. One thing was for sure; if he didn't go he wouldn't mind.
"Hmm." Phillip nodded, putting the chart aside, and then began to check Alex's breathing and if it had changed since their last visit. It did. But only a little and he could hear a tiny wheeze every time the blonde took a deep breath. He took note just incase it was something he had to look into.
"Do you at least have someone in mind to take? Just incase you end up thinking about it?"
"Haven't thought about that either." The blonde answered, wanting nothing more than to avoid the subject of prom. Trying to carry his thoughts elsewhere.
But it wasn't working. My thoughts kept carrying.
I didn't have a bad feeling about what was going to happen the day of prom. I knew exactly what was going to happen the day of prom. This wasn't a fate thing. I was going to do something stupid.
"You don't seem excited for it." His doctor looked up at him curiously.
Alex lifted the mysterious colored eyes and glanced at the man who has been taking care of him since he was a child. "You want a dying person to be happy about a day that's going to end as quickly as it starts? Call me crude, but I don't have time for that."
The doctor sighed, revealing a sign of defeat. And it wasn't about Alex's lack of excitement for prom. He crossed his arms across his chest and looked up at his less than pleasant patient. "I can't imagine what you're going through Alex. Believe me when I say that."
Alex shook his head, knowing that bad news was coming one way or another. He tried hard not to seethe into his frustration.
"Unfortunately I still don't understand this myself." Dr. Conahan continued at a generous pace, knowing that this was a touchy topic for the teen. "I've tried everything. I've researched everything. I've contacted insomniac specialists. I've looked over both of your parent's medical history and they have never suffered from any sort of sleeping disorder, Fatal Familial Insomnia and or depression, which is the only conclusion as to why you can't find sleep." He explained. "Normally this disease is a gene mutation found in families and the child doesn't carry it until they are middle-aged. But the condition you have is wildly unpredictable."
It wasn't depression. It couldn't be. "I'm only depressed because I can't sleep!" the young man raised his voice. But he quickly calmed down; knowing that wouldn't help the pain he was already in. It would probably do more bad than good.
The doctor understood and didn't take Alex's frustration as a personal attack. "Fatal insomnia is extremely rare and theirs only been a couple of records in the world that show people actually dieing from it."
"But?" Alex muttered.
"But the difference between your condition and theirs is that they were losing sleep. They were not without the complete inability to sleep. They were also military and it is found common in that kind of duty. There is no easy way to say this Alex. I wish I could say that something supernatural is happening here. There is no way you should still be functioning at all and I know you hate to hear that but it's the God honest truth. Your heart and your brain functions should have failed a long time ago, especially looking at your brain patterns. You should have been suffering from complete impotence, severe panics, appetite loss, weight loss, elevated heart rates, heavy fevers, loss of coordination. Your brain however remains active despite where the levels are at, you're intelligent levels have remained steady meaning damage hasn't begun yet to that part of the brain, and you're physical activity is phenomenal. You have an average awareness, and as far as the eye can see your behavior, your speech, and physical look perform perfectly normal but your symptoms and the x-rays we've took over the course of years, not to mention our blood work aren't displaying you at a healthy stage. Your blood pressure is off the charts, your pulse rate is high, and your heart beats are excessive. Those are just the beginning stages."
"So from the looks of it I'm fine but I'm really not?" The teen asked skeptically. He had dealt with this situation since birth so he couldn't figure out why he wasn't use to it by now. He couldn't say he handled it well then, but now, even as an adult, he was more scared than ever. "I'm just supposed to not understand my fate up until the day I die again? Is that supposed to give me some kind of hope or something?"
The older mans concerned gaze looked directly into the boy's, understanding his fear. "You have every right to be upset about this. Especially scared. Imagine how frustrating it is for me that our tests result show up hazardous but it's beyond my understanding and unexplainable. Your body is slowly deteriorating and everything we try seems to back fire. Sleeping pills we've tested and all we've learned from that is that it kills you quicker. You've tried sleeping remedies and that hasn't been effective and the sleep test was proven unsuccessful and fatal again. If I were to conclude on what I believe is happening here, is that something wants you awake Alex and its sending deluded signals to the brain which is preventing you from sleeping. It's something we can't prove but it's possible."
Alex let out a deep breath, as he sat up straighter. "So an internal thing?"
"It could be that the proteins in your body have folded in a harmful way triggering a chain reaction, and even if it was your body's immune system is too weak to fix the damages or even counter attack the proteins and since we can't prove that either, any physician that you see would call this a symptom of depression or mental illness, whether it is or not. They would also conclude my exact conclusion, that you have Idiopathic Insomnia which is due to unknown causes. It starts as an infant and continues on through a person's life. It's very detrimental which is most likely what you are suffering from."
"And this Idiopathic Insomnia causes people to choke up water? Water just doesn't collect in the human lungs like that unless I was drowning."
"What happened that night is still beyond anything I've ever seen before. We should have never had you take the sleep test. I fear the worst of it hasn't even begun yet."
Water. Mother Nature's strongest force. Beautiful when you look at it. And deadly when you're in it.
I love water.
I just wish it loved me.
Alex's eyes narrowed, thinking all the way back to his middle school days, when he had almost drowned in the pond behind his house and if that had anything to do with it. He also looked back on all the accidents the king has had with water. He's always felt he was drowning...in an alternate life.
Somewhere.
"What about these premonitions that I'm having, the things I see. That has to be in relation to what's going on with my health right?"
"Visions, future seeing is actually not uncommon. It's common right along with déjà vu. Some people experience it, some don't."
"Yea but people see into the future if I'm not mistaken. I'm seeing into the past. It feels like memories. It's hard to describe it but I feel like I'm involved in another time and that time hasn't been finished and I'm off somewhere, nowhere to be found and these visions, these memories, whatever they are, are here because of it." Alex was aware how crazy that sounded.
The doctor was a man of science and wasn't quite taught in the study of supernaturalism so this was a difficult question for him to answer. "What you're seeing could be a side affect to the insomnia you're suffering from." He actually believed it to be hallucinations rather than visions.
The blonde shook his head. "No it's not a side affect. It's the cause."
"Alex we've tried ways to test this. Maybe I'm not the right person to answer your question concerning what you're seeing. You could deal with a specialist in that genre. I will look into it for you." He offered.
"I'm not crazy." The teen insisted. "I'm having these memories, these sequences and because of them I can't sleep."
Doctor Conahan nodded in thought, not meeting the boy's eyes, like he was trying to figure out another explanation. "Are you positive that these sequences aren't dreams? You could actually be sleeping not knowing you are. Sometimes dreams can be very vivid and they can feel almost quite real. I've seen patients who come in here because they can't seem to decipher what their dreams are from reality."
"I have these visions in the middle of class, in the middle of practice, during dinner, when I'm trying to do my homework, when I'm ordering something at Starbucks; I have it when I'm crossing the street. When I'm taking a shower. In my car when I'm driving. These are not delusions, these are not dreams." Alex uttered vaguely. "They're a pain in the ass and I suffer through them everyday any hour it wishes."
The doctor folded his arms across his lab coat. "Then Alex I think its time to let your parents know exactly what this is about. They need to know. They need to know why their son slipped into a coma like state and died on his birthday."
He watched the teen shift uneasily.
"I don't know if she told you this, but your mother called me that day, she was devastated. She thought moving you out to Colorado with her was a bad idea and that you harmed yourself because you didn't want to be around her. She thought you took out your anger on her because of what happened between her and your father. Your own mother, Alex, thought you purposely harmed yourself to be away from her." The older man emphasized as he explained. "She loves you. What could she suspect otherwise if she doesn't know the truth? When she got the call, she thought the doctors were misinformed about the cause of your death. They told her it was due to stress and that the stress caused your immune system to fail. She was in denial."
"I didn't care what she thought; I was just happy to be alive." Alex inflexibly answered.
A partial sigh escaped the physician's mouth. "The only reason why she was okay with you moving back to California with your father is because I'm placed over here and I'm a doctor she can trust. I've been your doctor for longer than I can think of, and I owe it to both of them to tell them what the real issue is."
"We didn't lie to them. We told them it was insomnia, which my dad already forgot I had, and my mother is too busy hating my dad to even care anymore. That wasn't a lie. I just decided going into full detail wasn't worth my time or theirs."
"People need to know what you are really dealing with Alex. I can't stress it enough."
The blonde chuckled in disagreement. "What will they understand about it? What would they even know about brain disease that can't even be proven? Try telling someone you've never once slept in your entire life of living. It sounds insane. There is nothing rare about it; it's simply not supposed to happen. As far as life goes, humans are meant to sleep. That's how it's always been…Thank you though. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. Thank you for keeping this from my parents as long as you've had but I do need it to stay that way. I'm not going to be a burden to anyone."
"I respect your wishes. But when you start going through the stages, you're going to destroy a lot of relationships you have with close ones. You could also potentially ruin a future for yourself. Depression if you don't have it already will start to take its course. You will begin to hallucinate and your moods will change uncontrollably. Like your father you will possibly turn to alcohol which will make your insomnia worse. You are going to need all the support you need, from friends, family, possible lovers, and no one will understand what you're going through unless you tell them. Pushing them out of your life is not going to help you heal."
"You speak as if I have a long life ahead of me." Alex's lashes lowered as he pulled his shirt back over his head, easing it back onto his battered body.
"May I suggest that you keep up with what you're doing? Eat healthy, exercise daily, be around people you care about, be around people who make you laugh. Read to exercise your brain. If you dance, go clubbing. If you pray, pray to your god, whatever god that may be. Sex is also a healthy thing with someone you love, so if you have that special someone be around them. Be around friends. Go to prom. If you need time to yourself, take time to yourself. All I ask is that you don't run from this. It's the only way you'll be able to live a life worth living. The only reason why you still live is because you have something to live for, don't lose it because if you do you are either going to die very soon, or you're going to live a long life of suffering."
It was good advice but the blonde was done taking life seriously. "Hopefully your soon comes sooner."
When he walked towards the door to leave, the doctor stopped him placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Have a good rest of your day Alex. Call me at anytime."
The blonde nodded lightly then just turned and left the room.
I will disappear…Lost forever in love.
"Phai, oh Phai!" Callista called up the stairs for her 'taking-longer-than-usual-to-get-ready' brother, when in reality he was just dragging behind. Taking his time. Thinking. About things, things that were crossing his mind that he was unable to voice because he didn't know who to voice it to. And the one person he needed to talk with was acting unusually distant.
He was staring into the mirror. His blue eyes filled with unknown intensity not really ready for this day to come. The bathroom was covered with moist steam from the shower he had just taken. He locked eyes with his own, hating that he knew the reason for why he wasn't in a smiling mood.
The browned haired teen finally sighed, wrapping the towel around his waist and left the bathroom.
It was their first time sitting down for breakfast all together in a long time and the lady of the house wanted to take full advantage of it. She smiled lovingly when her son decided to join them several minutes later.
"I'm glad you could finally join us." She said kissing him on the cheek.
Phai threw his backpack next to his chair, and dropped in his seat.
"So Phai have you decided who you're taking to prom yet?" His mother asked while getting breakfast on the table.
The brunette shook his wet head. "I might not even go."
"What kind of attitude is that!?" She asked in shock, shifting her weight to one foot with a hand on her hip. "You can't miss prom. It's going to be such a big day for everyone. Your friends are all going to be there and Tolem told me you were excited about it."
Phai sent his mother a weird look at how seriously she took his response. It really wasn't a big deal to him, if he went or not.
"Phai's probably angry because none of the girls will go with him." Callista stirred her cereal after scampering on over to her chair with a beaming grin.
Phai just blinked at his bratty adorable little sister and looked back at his mother. "Well Tolem lied to you." He was going to have to talk to Tolem about that. He hated Homecoming, what made him think he was excited for Prom.
"I'm sure all the girls are all over you. What's holding you back?" She reached into the cupboard, taking out glasses for juice.
"It's not that. I'm just picky." He shrugged.
"I'm sure it can't be that hard to pick one. I heard there are plenty of nice girls at your school."
Phai paused, his eyes halting at the spoon that he was clinking against his bowl of apple jacks. He looked up at his mother, for a long moment, wondering when he would have the guts to tell her that he wasn't interested in girls. Wondering when he could finally tell her that he enjoyed his time with Alex. Wondering when he could finally tell her he was gay. Wondering how much she would resent him after and if he should even go that far in hurting her. "I guess." He answered, looking away and resumed back to eating.
She nudged her husband after finally taking a seat. "I see where he gets his moods. You know, you are behaving exactly like how your father was during our prom." She directed to her moody son.
"I thought the idea of prom was silly." Amyntor told his kids. "And I still do, so Phai if you don't want to go by all means, don't."
Phai smiled. "Sounds good to me."
His mother gave her husband a reprimanding glare. "I don't think so. Phai you're going."
She couldn't understand why her boy seemed to be lost in more serious thoughts and why her husband was encouraging it. But Amyntor knew it was an uncomfortable topic for Phai and decided not to discuss it.
"Honey if he doesn't want to go he shouldn't have to. Let's talk about something else. Like how delicious this meal is."
The mother frowned. "Its cereal honey, no effort was put into it whatsoever. And what's so bad. I just think it would be really adorable if Phai went to prom. He would be so handsome all dressed up in a suit. And we can take photos and put it in our photo album."
"Yea he can finally do his hair." Callista added in. "What's not to be excited about?"
"Callista stop picking on your brother." Amyntor scolded her.
"What, he looks like Tarzan."
Phai grinned. "And you look like Dora the explorer."
"I just happen to find her quite beautiful." She replied.
"She also has a staring problem." Phai countered back.
"Phai don't listen to your sister. I think Tarzan has awesome hair." Amyntor said.
"Maybe you should take that awesome hair to prom?" His mother interrupted and Phai glared at her. "Just a suggestion. You have amazing hair Hun. Show it off."
"No." He answered in a quick whine. "Can I leave now?"
"God Phai you're boring." Callista said. "Why couldn't I just have another sister?"
"Why couldn't I just have another brother?"
"OK you two finish your cereal and let's get you to school!" Amyntor excused himself from the table, and began clearing the table leaving less work for his wife. He kissed his wife on the head as Callista and Phai began gathering their stuff, letting her know that he will take the kids to school. He knew she needed to get some sleep, since she had to work another graveyard shift.
"You know what, dad, I can take the bus." Phai said, picking up his backpack and getting ready to sprint for the door.
"No, I'll take you." Amyntor answered enthusiastically. Needless to say his son was not so enthusiastic. Callista ran passed Phai out the door calling shotgun.
"Okay have a good day at school you two!" Their mother shouted as they were leaving the house. "And Phai remember to smile." she reminded.
"I'm sure I won't forget." He answered with no enthusiasm and closed the door.
When Amyntor pulled up in front of the high school he patted the steering wheel. "Okay, woo hoo! You're here. It's time to learn."
Looking at the school was like looking at a prison and then Phai was thinking about how far his scheming skills would get him out of it. He arched a decisive brow. He turned to look at his dad with a risky smile. "You know what dad; I don't want to go to school today but I have a good reason for it."
Amyntor knew where this was going. He turned off the engine and looked at his son. "Oh yea, what would that be?"
"I'm glad you asked, I think we should have a father, son bonding day."
"Phai, I pulled this shit when I was younger."
"Damnit!" Phai cussed and folded his arms.
"I knew if I let you take the bus, you would have ditched school. What's going on?" His father asked clearly concerned. Phai had never been the type to ditch school.
"I wouldn't have ditched school. I just wouldn't have gone to my classes." He reiterated.
"Phai?"
"What?" The boy moaned and look hesitantly at his father.
"Go to class." Amyntor demanded. "You're almost done, school's almost over and you can rejoice then. Just please, please don't be like you weird friend, Cleiter."
Phai frowned. "It's Cleitus, dad."
"Whatever, just graduate. It's just around the corner."
It was just around the corner.
Amyntor smiled widely wanting his pouty son to smile with him.
Phai sighed, unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car.
"Brat." His father teased. Phai just smiled and watched his father drive off. Then he walked towards the school going straight to his locker, through the crowded hall of loud teens, and began putting his things away.
"Wad up Phai!" Crater greeted, throwing a football at his locker. The door slammed shut on Phai, causing a loud clinking sound across the entire hallway.
"Fuck you Crater!" The browned haired teen greeted in return striking him a mean glare before turning back to spin his lock, agitatedly, reopening his locker.
"Oh Phai's getting his panties tied in a knot." Crater laughed.
"That wouldn't be the first time." Phil shoved Phai as the two bullies strolled by him.
Phai just rolled his eyes. It was a normal day at school, which was rather awkward. It seemed like the fight that happened about two weeks ago, between Cassy and Alex was just a dream. Like it never happened. Everyone was back to normal...Well, just some people.
Crater and Phil were back to bullying everybody in the hall, Tolem and Thais were arguing about something by their locker, Cleitus was getting chased by the janitor because he stole some of his supplies, Leon was trying to make it to class ontime, Perdicas was playing his stupid angry birds game on his cellular device, Roxanne was flirting with just about every guy in the school, Cassy was outside smoking what was left of his cigarette and Alex just wasn't around.
And now it definitely felt like it was before he had even spoken to Alex, when Alex wasn't a part of his life yet. It was like middle school all over again.
After his two day suspension Alex returned back to school, with the oddest behavior. Like whatever had happened during his days off, changed him. Just like that. Then he just stopped showing up all together leaving Phai with no good explanation. Leaving no one with an explanation at all.
He was just giving up.
Something in the back of Phai's head told him that he shouldn't worry about it and that it wasn't unusual for Alex to be acting a certain way, one week, then a different way another. Something else told him that he was doing the right thing in caring.
But everyday was getting worse. They would hang out still but Alex would go some days without even talking to him. He would just smile and that would be it for the day. Other days he would come to him with something to say but then walk away claiming he forgot, like something important was on his mind but he couldn't say what it was. Then there would be days where he was perfectly normal. The outgoing, joyful, loving Alex, who would take Phai to the shed behind their house to make out. The Alex who would make stupid jokes for Phai to laugh at, the Alex who would go over to his house and play Barbie's with Callista.
But Phai couldn't help but notice that, that Alex was missing lately.
He figured Alex would eventually come around and after he stopped thinking about it, which was probably the healthiest thing to do, he hurried to put his things away and started to get ready to head to his class. He turned around, when he felt someone tap his shoulder. Some random girl abruptly jumped in front of him stopping him at his locker. Her strawberry blonde hair was in up in curls and her cheeks were a blush red. She also had braces but she was cute.
"Hi." She said, smiling but trying not to seem too eager or excited. She always had a huge crush on Phai. Infact most of the girls in the school had secret crushes on Phai. Unfortunately for them he didn't swing there way. But they didn't know that yet.
"Hey." He noticed her from another class they took together but they never really talked. He thought about it for a sec and actually they never talked ever. He just smiled at her and went back to shoving shit into his locker.
"So I was wondering if you had anyone going to the prom with you." She asked nervously. Swaying her left leg back and forth.
"No, I don't." He shrugged, answering completely clueless that she wanted to go with him. She was sending him signals through her perkiness and shy flirty behavior and it didn't cross his mind once that she wanted him to ask her out, as if everyone should just automatically assume he wasn't interested.
"Oh. Okay…." The girl momentarily took her eyes to the school floor.
"What about you?" he asked. And she almost squealed inwardly thinking that this was it.
"I don't have anyone to go with." She abruptly answered. If that wasn't a clear sign to the blue eyed teen that she wanted desperately to go with him to the prom than nothing was.
"Really? You seem like a nice girl." This wasn't Phai flirting or sending mixed signals. This was him being nice. But the girls at the school had a reputation for taking any compliment a guy gives them as a sign that he was flirting.
"Thanks." She blushed harder. Then before she allowed it to get quiet and awkward she went out of her way to ask. "Well, would you want to go with me?"
Phai looked surprised that she asked. But before Phai could give an answer whether it was going to hurt the poor girl's feelings or excite her, Cassy came from nowhere and pulled Phai steering him away from his locker and away from the girl without even excusing himself.
Phai mouthed a silent apology to her and walked off with Cassy, not like he had a choice anyway as Cassy had his hand clenched around his arm. "What was that for Cassy? That was really rude." The brunette pulled his arm away from the green eyed teens grasp casting him a 'how dare you' glare once they stopped at the end of the hall.
Like always Cassy was without remorse. "I'm saving you from going to prom with a girl you don't even know or care to know. You're too nice and you would say yes to just about any of these girls just because you feel sorry for them."
"Sorry if I'm more compassionate than you are, you heartless fuck. She was nice. And she asked politely. Why shouldn't I go with her?" It was laughable how angry Phai was turning.
"Okay, reason number one. Braces. If she tries to kiss you and you're wearing your hair like that, game over. Hair stuck in teeth. Second reason. Because you don't want to go with her. You want to go with Alex and you can't because this is one of the most conservative schools ever. She'll get over it."
"Alex isn't even going." Phai replied.
"Yea. Right." Cassy couldn't take that one seriously.
"I'm serious Cassy. He has bigger things to deal with it."
"Like what?"
"He hasn't exactly been himself. Not to mention he's not even making an effort to go to his classes anymore."
"You seem upset about that?"
"Yea, should I not be?" Phai felt like he was responsible although he wasn't sure why.
"Well, did you piss him off? Did you refuse to give him head or something?"
Cassy snickered at Phai's upcoming reaction.
"Oh my god Cassy, this has nothing to do with me sucking his cock, what the fuck is wrong with you!" Phai shouted. Then quickly looked around just realizing how loud he announced that. After all they were in a hall full of people.
They were lucky. This was a rare day everyone seemed to be minding their own business.
"I think you're hiding something." Cassy casually began after realizing they were safe from reactions.
"Hiding what?" Phai glared in confusion.
"I don't know Phai." Cassy sounded accusing.
That answer sounded condescending and Phai felt a strong urge to punch Cassy in the face. Again.
"Are you suggesting I know the reason why he's acting the way he's acting?"
"You obviously have some idea."
Phai wasn't surprised that a week and a half later Cassy would be back to his same old self. But the green eyed boy knew Phai would feel more comfortable if he acted like the normal douche that he was instead of pitying him about the confession Phai had accidentally let release due to anger. And Phai knew this was Cassy's way of trying to make them both forget and he appreciated it. But now they had bigger issues.
They saw Alex walking down the hall. He looked de-saturated, not there, his mind distorted. Not paying much attention to anything and Phai was surprised to see him. They all were.
The blonde accidentally ran into some jock boys and they just pushed passed him calling him a freak. Alex just accepted it and kept walking. He was on his way somewhere but they knew it wasn't a class.
"I didn't even know he was coming to school today." Phai said. Every time he saw Alex his body would buzz in excitement. His mind would become absent. It didn't matter if Alex was in a strange mood or not, it didn't matter that he lived next door and they see each other everyday, their was always something there, but his day now seemed to be lacking any kind of amusement.
"Have you tried talking to him?" Cassy finally asked after they watched Alex disappear down the crowded hall.
Phai leaned against the wall, his mood suddenly slipping along with his body as he slid to the floor and sat. "No." He moped.
Cassy sighed. "I think he's sick. I saw him cough up blood the other day. I acted like I didn't see it."
Phai looked at Cassy but didn't say anything about it.
"Look, if it makes you feel better, you're being strong about this. You know that?" Cassy continued, dropping the 'Alex being sick' accusation.
"How. I'm fucking whining. I'm getting sick of myself." Phai admitted.
"It would have to take a strong person to be in love with Alex."
Phai smiled at the compliment. And it came genuinely. He looked up at the green- eyed boy. "Thanks Cassy."
Cassy was right, loving me was a fucking hassle. It's like dancing through a deadly storm. Phai's the dancer and I'm the storm. But he loved me that much to be around for any issue I had at the time. He was the only one capable of dealing with my madness.
Phai's always been my superstar. But man does he become so much more. With a smile on my face he becomes my shooting star across a sunlit sky.
"I can talk to him if you want me too." Cassy offered, not minding it. "The worst that would happen is us fighting again."
Phai chuckled and shook his head not willing to risk that. "Thanks but I think he needs time. Seriously though, thank you for trying."
"I told you I can be nice." Then Cassy pushed off the wall he was leaning against and walked away.
Phai looked up at the big clock on the wall above the high school doors. The halls were rapidly clearing out, everyone making it to their first class. But for now he would just sit there, in no hurry to learn.
He headed to the men's bathroom, not because he had to take some kind of piss, he just wanted to try to smoke another cigarette before going to class. And they had windows in the bathroom where he could get away with it.
Then he saw Roxanne waiting for him by the door, looking at her nails. She had a short jean skirt on and a low cut red blouse exposing her belly button. She was obviously there for him. Afterall prom was coming around.
"Hi Cassy. I see your face is getting better. Just make sure it's healed before you ask me to prom okay."
The sandy haired teen just scoffed and leaned against the wall beside her. "How did you know I would be here? Stalking much? I'm not sure whether I should be flattered that you'd come to pay me a visit." His voice floated with arrogance.
"Cassy the entire school knows you take smoking breaks in the bathroom."
"How can I put this nicely, I'm not taking you Roxanne. I don't find you attractive and I'm definitely too good to be seen around you." he smiled widely at her. "So…fuck off."
"Oh yea," she didn't seem offended in any way, shape or form. "Who are you going with?" She asked with a patronizing grin.
"I haven't decided but I have a while to figure it out." he answered.
"No ones going to want to go with you Cassy. You're a jerk to just about all the girls here and I might have told them that you have a sexual transmitted disease. You're the last man on their list I'm afraid."
She gave back a snappy snicker.
"So let me get this straight, you want to go to prom with a man who has a std? Roxanne you dog." He answered with sarcasm.
The dark skinned girl just shrugged. "I don't judge. Often."
"If you don't mind me saying, you're really going out of your way to make Alex jealous. But I have news for you, he's not going." He whispered by her ear. Then smirked, a small laugh being evident.
"He will. Phai goes, he'll go." She countered his grin with a confident one.
"Phai's not going either." Cassy shrugged smiling in a way that suggested he knew why. "Sucks for you."
"Trust me, Phai will be there. His best friend is Tolem for goodness sake. All curly fries has to do is beg Phai to go."
"I'm not going with you. Don't make me say it again."
They stared at each other, defiantly.
"I guess the word around school speaks for itself."
Cassy then stopped himself from entering through the door and glared at the girl. "You told everyone I asked you to prom?"
"No. I might have told them something else. Look Cassy, I turned down so many guys just to go with you. So make an effort. You're popular, I'm popular. And I can't see it going any other way. Besides only a bitch would dance with another bitch."
Cassy was silent. Roxanne grinned. "That's better. By the way my father has a business meeting to attend to tonight so I will be home alone. You should come over." She patted his cheek. "Enjoy your smoke." Then she winked and strutted off.
Cassy mumbled the word 'bitch' under his breath as he irritably entered the bathroom.
Alex walked inside of the coach's office and took a seat. "You wanted to see me sir."
"Alex it's good to have you back on the team." The coach leaned up straight pushing paper work aside.
"I'm sure you didn't call me here to tell me how much you missed me." The blonde smirked roguishly.
The coach sighed. "Obviously we need to discuss a few things. We kinda left things unfinished a couple of weeks ago. But first how are you feeling?" He asked humbly.
The teen nodded. "I'm feeling fine." It was an identifiable lie. It seemed like nothing could ward away his stresses anymore.
The coach nodded back. "Good. Do you know what this is about?"
"My behavior, I can assume." Alex answered, his eyes composing itself.
"The principal and I noticed that you haven't exactly been yourself lately and it's getting to the point where we should be concerned. Is there something going on that we need to know about?"
The blonde sat back. "Other than being alive for a torturous number of years, nothing I can think of."
He was hoping to speak to Alex minus the frustration and attitude but the teen had just become a force lately. "The principal wanted me to discuss your grades. You've used to be an A student, and now your grades are slipping quite rapidly. You haven't been showing up to your classes. When one of my brightest are slipping this fast on the team, I can't help but jot down my concerns. Cassy we can justify for because he's always been a slacker but we know you have it in you to do your best. But we care and we want to help in the best way that we can but we can't do that if you don't let us know what's going on?"
"Nothing is going on. I just don't care anymore." He was blunt about it which shocked the man sitting across from him.
"Any particular reason why you've just decided to give up."
"Yea there is. I'm sick of trying. Giving up is much easier." The teen shrugged.
"I must say I'm disappointed to hear you say that. I was hoping you'd be a graduate this year. I don't see the logic in purposely failing."
"I can't change the way I feel." Alex responded.
"What are you feeling Alex?" The coach asked, trying his hardest to get through to him.
"Something you can't repair." Alex stood from his seat.
The coach sighed again. "Well, Alex, I strongly advise you rethink your attitude about this."
"I'll see if I can make time for that." The blonde answered then left.
Phai walked into the bathroom during last period and stopped when he saw Cassy sitting on the counter, laid back smoking a cigarette still.
"How many breaks have you taken?" The brunette asked. He hadn't seen Cassy in any of the classes and the day was almost over.
"This is my first one still." Cassy answered. He seemed in a pissed off mood and Phai caught on to that.
He looked at all the cigarettes Cassy had gone through just piled up on the counter by the sink. "I have one word for you. Gross."
Cassy glared at him and Phai just smiled innocently. "What are you doing in here?"
The disturbed teen asked like Phai wasn't welcome in a public school bathroom.
"I need to pee. That's what a bathroom is for. It's not for whatever you got going on."
"Whatever." Cassy tossed his cigarette into the sink kicking the handle of it with his boot, sending the water on to put it out. Then he gave off the impression he was bored. as he exhaled lazily but having ran into the queen bitch of the school that morning had put him in a bad mood.
Phai sighed and walked up to him reluctant whether he should be nice or not. He dismissed the reason why he was there in the first place and hopped on the counter and sat with Cassy. He figured he had time until practice started. "What's wrong?"
"Why do you care?" Cassy snapped.
"Why are you being a bitch?" Phai asked. "This morning you were being nice to me. Is their something about the late afternoons I don't know about?"
"Because…." Cassy answered almost like it was for himself.
"Good answer." Phai answered sarcastically.
"Sorry." Cassy apologized. "I would tell you but you wouldn't understand."
"Is this about the STD you have?"
"Fuck you." Cassy threw his cell phone at the brunette who found it hilarious by the way.
"I heard the girls talking. Sorry I shouldn't be laughing." Phai giggled playfully.
"Yea because its not true." Cassy growled as he looked angrily away from Phai.
Then they turned their heads hearing someone come through the door. It was Alex. They were just looking at him, with looks thinking he had better have a good explanation why he was ignoring them. But Alex wasn't interested in their stern glares. "Cassy do me a favor, I won't be around for practice and if the coach asks where I'm at tell him I quit the team."
"Uh, I could do that for you."
"That would be great, thanks. Phai I need you to grab your things and meet me by the car." Alex then left again, with no explanation whatsoever.
Phai had a confused look on his face.
Cassy did too. He looked at Phai and Phai at him. Both with questioning eyes. More like what the fuck.
"Okay that was weird." Cassy admitted. "That is serial killer weird. I wouldn't go with him if I were you."
"Why not?" Phai asked like he almost took that as a possibility.
"Let's ponder this for a second. Alex killed someone that's why he's wants you to meet him by the car. He's trying to skip town."
Phai looked at him like that was the most ridiculous reason ever but he knew Cassy was trying to be a dickhead about it anyway. "Really?"
"He could be on his period too?"
Phai just glared at him and the green eyes smirked. The next thing he knew the brunette jumped off the counter and left the bathroom.
Phai left to go find Alex. He wasn't going to put up with this shit. He knew what Alex was going through but Alex wasn't making things better by acting strange and ditching school. Oh and randomly quitting the football team.
When he came out to the parking lot, Alex was just sitting on the hood of his car staring up at the sky.
Phai walked over to him looking kinda pissed. "Alex?" he couldn't hide the worrisome his tone held or the frustration.
The blonde looked over at him kinda expecting him not that soon. Then he took out his keys from the pocket of his grey hoodie he was wearing despite it being over 80 degrees outside. "You ready?"
But Phai didn't know what was happening with the blonde and it was scaring the shit out of him.
"Stop ignoring everybody. If something is wrong you need to use your words."
Alex wasn't expecting to be yelled at but he stayed put listening to what Phai needed to get off his chest.
"There's something else you're not telling me. You're like the only person I know who can make someone feel special one day and just like that, in no time at all, make them feel like shit. I thought I did something wrong Alex."
"You did nothing wrong Phai. How could you when you're perfect." The blonde answered warmly, his once distracted eyes now becoming focused on the flawlessness of his blue eyed friend. He slid off the car and came up to Phai. Then he hugged him affectionately running his hand through Phai's hair. "I'm sorry."
"You're doing it again." Phai pushed him back. "Please stop acting weird around me. When you act like this I know something is wrong. I don't know what you're going through, and if I could take your pain away and keep it for myself I would. I need you to talk to me about it. I'm even okay if you don't talk to me, but talk to someone. It can be Roxanne for all I give a shit. Fucking talk to your car if it makes you feel better. Just talk. Say something." Phai became aware at how fast his heart was racing and how dry his mouth was. And he frowned as he analyzed the calmness of the blonde as an unfazed smile formed on his face.
"I'm sorry Phai." He said soothingly. "Let's start all over."
Phai sighed with his hands on his hips. Something shifted in his face but it was gone after a moment. He nodded. "Okay." The words barely sounded and he took a deep breath.
Alex always had to start conversations over whenever Phai was upset about something, because he knew it would help him relax. It made him feel better.
He always knew how to calm down his Phai. And Phai always knew how to calm down his Alex.
The blonde gave him a reassuring look before he began to speak. "Hi Phai."
"Hi Alex." Phai felt ridiculous but it helped.
"You look wonderful today." The blonde complimented.
"Thanks. You do too." Then all of a sudden the conversation became natural, like Phai's moment of outburst never happened.
Alex laughed lightly as he licked over his lips. "I have something to show you. I need you to come with me."
Phai just sighed and walked towards the passenger side of the car.
And then we left. The atmosphere around the school felt suffocating and I needed to take us away. Without instructions.
Tolem looked at his watch confirming that Phai and Alex weren't at practice.
"Phai is usually the first one here." Perdicas proclaimed.
Leon looked at Tolem suggestively. "You should call him."
Tolem sighed in annoyance and took out his phone calling Phai. He waited until he answered. "Yea." He got a response.
"Where are you Phai?" Tolem asked bitterly like them not being there was the end of the world. For the coach maybe. For them, not so much.
"With Alex."
"Doing what?"
"He's taking me somewhere."
"School isn't even done yet Phai. Put Alex on the phone."
Phai sighed and handed Alex the phone. "You're getting me in trouble Alex."
"What Tol's?" The blonde ignored Phai's fussing and answered, with a rebellious smile on his face as he took Phai further and further away from the school. The windows were rolled down and he looked happy. It kinda gave Phai the feeling of being kidnapped.
"What are you doing with Phai?"
"I'm taking him somewhere."
"Where?"
"Somewhere."
'THAT DOESNT HELP ALEX!" Tolem yelled.
"That would be nice to know where we're going." Phai mumbled.
"Be quiet Phai." Alex quickly said before taking his attention back to Tolem. "Look Tol's I'm taking him somewhere important. So just tell the coach Phai went home sick and I took him."
"Alex this was your first day back on the team. The coach is never going to forgive you. What about your scholarships?"
"Tol's everything is going to end up just fine." Tolem couldn't help but believe that. Alex always had a way to make things sound so promising.
"Hey Cassy said you killed someone. If I'm gonna die I need to know where." Phai shook Alex's shoulder.
Alex took the phone away from his mouth. "You'll know when we get there Phai."
"How long of a drive?" The brunette asked.
"Its far, just be quiet." Alex answered.
"How far?" Phai asked again.
"Far." The blonde replied.
"Like almost out of state far?" Phai asked another time.
"No, like three hours far."
"Stop fucking making shit so difficult." Phai snatched back the phone. "Tolem are you still there."
"Yea I'm still here, where's he taking you?" The curled haired teen sounded worried.
"He said far. He's not really giving me any answers."
"Like out of state?"
"I don't know, would a three hour drive take us out of state if we're heading west from school?"
"No we're in center state. It should take like 7 hours. Hold on give me a second."
"Hurry up Tol's!" Crater was rushing.
"Yea we don't got all day." Phil joined.
"Shut up, I'll be right there!"
Tolem started searching through the google maps app on his phone. Cassy snickered and reached over Tolem's shoulder taking the phone from him. "Hey Phai."
Phai rolled his eyes. "What Cassy?"
"How many dead bodies does Alex have in the back of his car? He's a speed demon so make sure he doesn't get pulled over."
Alex heard that and grabbed the phone. "Bye Cassy." Then he hung up and handed it back to Phai.
"Alex?"
"Phai."
"You don't have dead bodies in the back of your car would you?"
Alex just grinned, thinking that question didn't even deserve a reply.
"Seriously, where are we going?" Phai asked yet another question.
"I'm not turning around. You can keep whining if you want." Alex told him strictly. "I'm afraid you are stuck with me for the rest of the night."
"Then why can't you just tell me where we're going. What if I have an emergency back at home, or I have to baby-sit Callista."
"Isn't she old enough to watch herself now?"
"Alex tell me where we're going right now!" Phai demanded.
Phai hated surprises. He hated not knowing. He wasn't like me where I could just jump into the unknown and go along with what ever happened. He was a planner. And what he doesn't know scares him.
I was surprised that he left to find me. Not knowing where I was. Not knowing if I was dead or alive. But I guess we all have to face our fears someday.
At a stop sign, Alex leaned over quickly and kissed Phai's cheek. And spoke with a trusting whisper. "Sit still and stop yelling, stop asking questions. It's going to be a long drive."
Phai folded his arms and sat back like a child put on punishment. "Fine."
Then Alex re-buckled his seat belt and stepped on the gas when the light turned green. Phai was just thinking about earlier. How fast the tables have turned. How he was whining earlier that Alex wasn't talking to anyone and now he was stuck with him for God knows how long.
"Go to sleep or something. Here listen to some music." Alex turned on his radio to some country music, completely forgetting how big of a music snob Phai was.
Phai cringed. His teeth gritted in disgust. "I'm not going to be stuck in a car with a pyshco listening to country music. Not happening." He said disapprovingly.
"Fine." Then Alex turned it to a station he knew Phai would enjoy. "Is that better?"
The brunette nodded then settled with a smile. Now in all honestly he didn't care where Alex was taking him. He was just glad to be with him. If it was forever, that would be even better.
It was a long drive. They drove through blue sky and through sunset and the night sky was suddenly making an appearance.
Alex was focused on the road ahead and Phai was laying in the seat facing him, just staring at Alex the entire ride, something about the blonde captivating him. He stopped the guessing game soon after he figured it was pointless.
"Alex?" he spoke softly.
"Yea." The blonde kept his eyes ahead.
"What is this really about?"
The blonde smiled, but it quickly saddened. "I just…" He blinked, his hand getting tighter around the steering wheel. "I just want to give you everything you want."
"Before?" Phai asked.
"Before something goes wrong."
"Is something going to happen that I don't know about?"
Alex nodded. "Yea. I think so... My minds been somewhere and I don't like where it's it at right now." The blondes eyes somehow gave nothing away.
My minds been busy. Busy on how I'm going to have to let Phai go. And I wanted to tell him now, just to get it done with, but I couldn't find the strength.
Phai just nodded and leaned his head back against the seat not questioning Alex any further about the thoughts racing in his head. He figured he would find out sooner or later and he finally slept knowing they had longer to go. This was just one of those rare days where he felt he didn't understand Alex at all. Like he became mysterious overnight.
They drove by palm trees, towns, deserts, gas stations, hotels and the ride was almost like a road trip. At first it felt like a road trip to nowhere but Alex finally reached the destination. He parked the car and turned to look at his sleeping Phai.
"Phai." He woke him up by shaking him carefully.
The brunette opened his eyes. He yawned and leaned up in his seat. "Where are we?" He asked his eyes somewhat still trying to fall shut as he wiped drool from the side of his mouth.
"Come find out." Alex got out of the car and went to go open Phai's door. He found it adorable that Phai was highly unstable after waking up and helped his sleepy friend out and once Phai felt the fresh air, he immediately woke up. The breeze was warm and the air was clean. They were at the beach and there was a pause before Phai gracefully smiled. "You took me all the way from school to bring me to the beach that's almost four hours away?"
"This isn't what I want to show you." Alex responded as he slowly covered Phai's eyes with a bandanna not trusting him to not peek without it and Phai giggled at that. Then he felt his hands being taken into soft ones as the blonde now slowly guided him through the sandy beach.
"Are you ready for this?"
Phai nodded. He had trusted Alex this far and allowed him to gently take him to wherever it was that he was taking him.
Alex felt Phai lace tighter his fingers with his when Alex had them stop. "Its okay Phai, we're here."
The brunette slowly let go and Alex began to untie the cloth around his eyes. Phai couldn't wait to see what Alex wanted to show him. He was smiling like an idiot.
"Keep those eyes closed for me." Alex whispered against his ear as Phai kept his eyes closed feeling the band loosen away from his face.
"Can I open them now?" He asked in a childish excitement.
"Yea." Alex stepped aside. This moment wasn't for him. "It's all for you."
Phai opened his eyes as fast as he could and his smile soon faded. It sunk into an astounded silent gasp. He was already speechless, but he wasn't expecting this. His breath was taken from him and his face paled and his eyes glowed at the slim light of the full moon sitting right above the ocean waves.
The night was perfect darkness and Alex followed him along the wooden board walk along the beachside as the blue eyes took a closer look. And as if it just hit him, the brunette covered his mouth in pure awe of the sight before him as the inviting shine of the moon, the blended colors of orange and blue in the cloudy sky and the crashing sound of the waves pulled him in.
There are not many people who would expect or accept something like this as a surprise, as a gift. But Phai loved the moon. Phai loved the stars. He loved the clouds and the sky.
He loved me.
"I know you like the moon. I've been coming here almost every night. It keeps me occupied. So I found this spot where you can see the moon up close and personal. It reminded me of you so I had to show you."
"How did you know? I never told you." Phai's eyes held on to the heavenly sight casted above them.
"I would do anything for you Phai."
/
The prince and his friend run down the palace walls. They exit the kingdom and take their high spirited smiles into the dark woods of Pella.
Come quick Hephaistion!
The small future general reaches his prince. He helps his blue eyed friend up on a log by a small stream. Look! And it's all for you. Isn't it a thing of beauty?
The young brunette smiles openly. Amazed.
That's how much you mean to me Phai. The prince extended his arms out as far as he could pointing at the yellow circle. You're my moon. And Aphrodite is jealous because her beauty doesn't even compare. One day I'm going to steal it from the sky and its going to be yours forever. The prince kisses with sweetness and innocence his friend on the cheek. Anything for you, Hephaistion.
\
Phai shivered a bit when he felt the body of Alex come up beside him. He looked away from the moon that had captivated him for awhile and looked into the pureness of the blondes eyes and smiled when Alex ran his thumb along his cheek searching his face. "I would do anything for you Phai."
This is it. It starts now. Everything.
Cassy knocked lightly and kinda just walked away a bit from the door. He was struggling to figure out what the hell he was about to do.
He quickly took out a cigarette trying to light it with a spent lighter. What the hell was he doing here? He thought to himself and realizing the thing wasn't lighting for him he hurled it to the ground and searched for a better one. He found it, it worked and he lit it up, taking the first inhale, he was visibly relieved.
He wasn't expecting anyone else to answer but her, but he wasn't expecting her to answer in a skimpy outfit, garters and stilettos and it only reminded himself of the bad he was about to do. He stared at her body as he smoked his cigarette and her goddess red lips smirked up at him. It wasn't a surprise that the dress she wore was just as red. It was short, with a slit on the side, exposing the thickness of her thigh.
"Well are you going to come in?" she asked with a flirtatious arch in her brow.
Cassy nodded just barely, nervous and just continued to smoke his new cigarette.
"You can finish it inside the house." She threw a condom packet at his chest, turned, slipping her model like body away from the door, loving that she had that affect on not only him but men in general. Accept for Alex. He seemed to be the only one who didn't want her and that was beginning to become a problem for her.
"Fuck." The teen outside the door muttered under his breath, throwing his cigarette aside and walked inside of her luxurious home. He closed the door slowly behind him and she could tell that he was hesitant. She also knew that Cassy wanted it as much as the next guy. It was the only way he could feel like a man. Like a human being. He had nobody to love so why not be around someone with a similar heart.
He shut his eyes knowing this was a bad mistake. They were both jealous figures and it was making him do wrong. It made him feel wrong. But that was the power of envy and love and happiness didn't seem to exist in his world, especially with the she devil standing behind him, seductively removing his favorite jacket.
The men loved her, the women wanted to be her and Phai hated her. I hated her.
She was beautiful, she was feared and her forms of attack were based on vile instincts. I mentioned already she reminded me of my own mother. But my mother had a heart. Probably the biggest heart a mother could ever have despite her wrongdoings. Roxanne, I wouldn't be surprised if she ripped out her own.
She spoke sexually against the nape of his neck. "Are you worried about what's going to happen tonight?"
"No." Cassy answered defensively.
He didn't want to be there but it felt like it was the only place he was welcomed.
She lifted slowly his dark blue t-shirt. He stiffened at the touch of her bad encouraged hands rubbing up his side. "You want this." She stated in a hiss. "Don't act like a virgin."
And as if something sent him off, he turned around and took her by her neck. "Alex had the right idea. He should have just choked you to death."
She grinned, not minding the hand around her neck. She knew Cassy didn't have an outlandish temper like Alex. His was more withdrawn. But he was dangerous. Very. He even had the potential to be as evil. But he wasn't going to stoop to her level just yet.
"I long for you in ways. In more ways than I do Alex."
Cassy just glared at her. And she removed her dress, letting the silk ride off of her promiscuous body. The green eyes finally made a move. Cassy let his hand loose from her throat and let his fingers slide from her soft shoulder to her breasts. Then down her flat abdomen.
He closed his eyes and released a breath, not believing that he was this weak to fall for any sort of passionate assault especially from Roxanne, Alex's ex and the girl he claimed to despise more than anything. He paused in his seduction, fighting his feelings for Phai. Fighting his friendship with Alex. But the more he thought about it, thought about them together, it became easier to fuck Roxanne.
She took his hands gently and held them up to her smooth breasts and they locked eyes, the evil in their souls connecting. "Fuck me." She arched her body into his, as she sinfully pleaded.
Then Cassy kissed her, his lips demanding her attention. Something he thought he would never do. She smirked against his mouth as she kissed the green eyed teen back.
xxxxxx
Phai leaned back against the blanket. Alex's lips only inches from his as the blonde kissed them with a passion. A passion that seemed like it could only exist in the movies. In a fantasy world.
xxxxxx
His hand desperately slipped away from her breast and reached to finger her clit. Roxanne moaned heavily and as his breath hit the skin of her neck she threw her head back, laughing a lustful, evil chuckle. Her red nails digging in the athletic arms of the green eyed man.
xxxxxx
The blonde slowly pressed one finger into Phai's tight hole and the brunette silently whimpered, longing for the blonde in ways he's never felt before. And Alex knew after all of this was over, he would never be able to desire another.
xxxxxx
As he stroked her harder and faster, she trembled at his fingers and pressed her waist to his. Cassy slid his fingers down her inner thighs and she spread them for him. Then he got to his knees. She bit her lip, as she ran her fingers through his hair while he penetrated her sensitized cunt with his tongue.
xxxxxx
Phai couldn't believe he could crave Alex anymore, as the blonde slammed into his body, both of their breathing intact, getting heavier and faster. There was question whether they belonged together or not, but right now despite their destiny, Alex felt like his soul didn't even belong to him anymore, and that this heat, this desire, this love was all for the man beneath him. It was about Phai. It was always about him. And it sucked that he was painfully aware of what was going to happen next.
xxxxxx
Roxanne allowed her back to hit the couch, pulling Cassy's hard frame on top of her. She quickly undid his jeans and pulled out his cock. He put more weight on her, holding her down as he positioned between her legs. And they stared at each other with a fierce intensity. He kissed her again and they both moaned into each others mouths. The feeling wasn't love. Or mutual. It wasn't even lust. He held no love for Roxanne and she hated him even more. It was just two evil humans drugged in a vengeful delight.
xxxxxx
The blue eyes had tears falling down the side of his face. He was also aware that Alex wasn't going to be around forever. And Phai just needed to be in his arms and Alex having known Phai's needs for longer than he could think of, pinned Phai to his chest locking him into an embrace only he knew of.
xxxxxx
The dark skinned girl moaned even more when he felt Cassy's cock filling her and just then, when he reached the breaking point, he thought about his own sanity as the evil girl squirmed in obvious pleasure beneath him.
xxxxxx
Alex was sucking Phai's neck, claiming the beautiful skin with his tongue and the brunette shut his eyes off from the beautiful ocean, moon and stars, as he allowed Alex to brand him his own.
The brunette began to ache, his skin burning for more of Alex's touch. And Alex wasn't afraid to give it his all and Phai wasn't afraid to be pushed against his limits as he felt the thick cock inside him forcing through his tightness. The blonde had a weird way of being animalistic and gentle as can be, which made the sensation and penetration more engaging. The blonde smiled beautifully against the ear of his lover, recalling moments when the king and his general would sneak away from important duties for something like this. Irresponsible? Yes. Did he care? No.
It felt like their last time, and Alex was finding it harder to let him go, his arms staying constricted around his lover and Phai covering Alex's face with as many kisses as possible wasn't going to allow it.
xxxxxx
Cassy thrust and pummeled inside of the wet girl harder as he cast his shadow over her dark skin. She was moaning, just like he wanted; like she was going to erupt any minute and he wondered what she felt. What she was thinking about. What caused her to be so wicked? Why would she go out of the way just to hurt Alex? He blinked. He wondered why he would go out of his way to hurt Alex and then everything became clear. Together, they were too much evil. And like his thoughts didn't matter, he continued to fuck his friends ex girlfriend, feeling his own length pulsing inside of her. Feeling hatred towards his self.
xxxxxx
When Phai had met his powerful consuming climax, he could finally hear the waves of the ocean over his faded moans. He opened his eyes to a world of darkness and a world of light. The moon was shining as loud as it could, but nothing was brighter than the face of the blonde looking down at him.
And the words still echo through my head as his breathing became slower. "I don't want this to be the end."
I often forget I'm running from the one person I love most in this world. But escaping Phai's love was like taking a bullet to the head and I have to ask, when?
When will my final day of liberty be here? Because all time is doing now is running against me. That's all I have. That's what's left of me.
Phillip came knocking on his neighbor's door, loud and repeatedly. Then he backed away from the door impatiently pacing, mumbling something under his intoxicated covered breath.
Amyntor rubbed his eyes dragging his way on over, wondering about the time of night and opened it up. The first thing he noticed was that Phillip was belligerently drunk and particularly angry. He could tell because the man seemed very unstable on his feet.
"Where is my son?" Phillip asked almost threateningly. "Where is he?"
Amyntor was very surprised to see him at the house this late. He was surprised to see him at the house period. "He's not here Phillip. What can I do for you at this hour?" He asked with a building displeasure.
"Is your boy out sucking him off somewhere?!" Phillip exclaimed.
"You had better get the fuck off my property Phillip." Amyntor insisted angrily. "Don't insult my son."
He was even angrier that Phillip didn't seem to have a problem starting a confrontation this late about their sons as if people weren't in their fucking beds trying to sleep.
"You caused this. You stay away from Alex, you here me. Keep your family away from him!" Phillip flung his arm at him, his drunken way of getting his point across.
Amyntor closed the front door and stepped fully outside, pushing Phillip back. It was late, Callista was in bed and his wife was upstairs trying to sleep before she had to wake up in two hours to head back to work. He did not have time for this, but ignoring it wouldn't make the problem go away.
"Phillip, you need to calm the hell down, do you hear me? You will not come near my home acting crazy."
"I just want to know where he is. He's been spending too much of his time with you. And your boy. He should be home now." Phillip stumbled a bit.
"Phai and your son are out. They are old enough to be out this late. Let them be. Alex will return home when they are finished with whatever they have planned. I promise you, your son is fine." Amyntor replied still shocked that it was this late and his neighbor, a grown man, was acting like a child. If he had came to the house earlier it wouldn't have been such a problem but it was fucking two in morning.
Phillip grimaced. He stayed persistent despite almost slipping on the front door step as he backed away. "Didn't I tell you to keep your son away from mine? You know what they are doing is sick. You should be ashamed."
"Get off my property Phillip. I will not warn you another time."
The older man just belted out a scoffing laugh. "It's not standard and you know it!"
"What is standard Phillip? Please run that by me." Amyntor folded his arms.
"A wife. Kids. A husband to take care of them. A family." Phillip muttered gruffly with a sharp scowl.
"And where's your wife at. Who is taking care of her? Don't talk to me about standards of any kind, you don't have any." Amyntor pointed out. "Now what you need to do is go back home, you're drunk as shit. We'll continue this conversation another time but not tonight, not near my family." The tall man turned his back on Phillip and walked back towards the door of his house.
"You will return my son back to me!" The drunken man yelled.
"I don't have time for this. Goodnight Phillip."
Amyntor entered back inside of his home and locked the door. He turned around and saw his wife standing at the top of the stairs. "What's wrong honey? Who is outside?"
"It's the fucking neighbor. He's drunk."
"Well is everything okay, should we call the police?" She had a worried expression.
"It's not necessary, I got rid of him. Everything is fine, go on back to bed." He answered calmly trying to make everything seem better.
"Okay." She went back to her room and once he heard the door close, Amyntor peeked out the window making sure that Phillip wasn't still outside of his home and good thing that he wasn't.
"Fucking asshole."
It was surprising that he made it back to his house as unstable as he was. He was pacing around his home, chugging the rest of the liquor from the bottle he last drank from. He kept looking at his time, too hammered to even figure it out but forced himself to stay up, waiting for his son to arrive.
He had tried plenty of times already, but he called Alex's cell again, and of course Alex didn't answer and Phillip cursed out loud.
Thinking Alex was personally ignoring his phone calls which wouldn't surprise him, he called his ex wife's phone. "Pick up woman!" he yelled into the speaker.
He felt like the ringing lasted an entire life span before she eventually picked up. It only rang three times; it was just that his patience was running thin and paranoia was beginning to kick in.
"I'm surprised I still have your number. What is it that you want?"
He could hear that she was working on something, from the loud sound of the copy machine running in the back.
"We need to talk." He cleared his throat, trying to sound relaxed so that she couldn't tell that he had been drinking but it's never fooled her. "It's about your son and the shit he's been doing."
Phillip rubbed his face, feeling his body temperature rising.
"Phillip, you would be the primary parent at this time. Figure out how to deal with it. Also I am very busy at the moment and it's late." Olympias gathered the paper and the copies.
"Don't you dare hang up on me? We need to talk woman! About Alex. About your son! We need to talk. Now!"
She rolled her eyes hearing Phillip slurring and repeating himself on the other line. "Are you drunk?" she asked as she slammed the papers on her desk and sat.
"What does that matter if I am or not?" He answered like it was none of her business.
"Of course you're drunk. You're always drunk. I don't think an attempt on having a decent conversation with a drunken man is considerable at the moment. I'm hanging up now."
"Your son is a faggot." He blurted. "He likes to suck dick. He likes giving it to boys up the ass. How's that for news?"
"Phillip what the hell are you raging about!?" She stood up and walked to her room window not believing the words that just came from his mouth. She was angered and amazed that Phillip would even insult their son like that.
"Your son." Phillip chuckles after catching himself slur a bit. "He's gay. He likes boys. He's a fucking queer…What did I do wrong huh? Tell me what I did wrong!" He yelled, and then frantically started to laugh. He didn't notice how silent she had turned on the other end of the phone but he continued his mad outburst. "He hates us. He's doing this to get back at us." He started to roam to another room, on the verge of losing stability and passing out. "He's no longer my son. Take him back."
Phillip didn't even manage to hang up and dropped his phone instead and just made a mental note that he would get it in the morning.
Olympias on the other hand sat at the edge of her bed like her heart had just stopped within her chest. She slowly hit the end button on her phone. She couldn't tell whether she was deep in thought or just in shock. She didn't know. She also didn't want to believe it. But what other reason would there be for Phillip to act up like that, if it wasn't true. Then she thought about calling her son to confirm whether it was true or not but it scared her to discover the truth and she decided against it.
The dark haired woman stood and cleared her throat, trying to force herself to go about this in a calm understanding manner. Which worked for about thirty seconds. And as she walked back over to her working station a knot had formed in her stomach. She obviously wasn't capable of tolerating the news and she convinced herself that there was only one explanation for her son being gay.
"I failed as a mother." She spoke softly to herself, her voice shattering. Then her eyes filled with tears.
Cassy climbed the tree near his window and snuck into his bedroom. It was late and he tried to be as quiet as possible. Unfortunately his father had already been awake discovering that his teen boy was up to no good.
"Sneaking in and out of my house again? You know you're in deep shit right now?"
Cassy looked up at his father who was standing by the door of the room, the hallway light on behind him and he just smirked. He couldn't remember the last time he's been caught and he couldn't remember the last time he ever took his father seriously. "Maybe I would stay if I felt more welcomed." The disobedient boy threw his jacket on his bed and ran a hand back through his messy hair.
His father turned on the light switch and Cassy sighed when his father stared harshly and disgustingly at the damages done to his face.
"You get in a fight today? I wouldn't be surprised."
"No I ran into a tree, of course I got into a fucking fight. It didn't happen today, it happened a little more than a week ago by the way. Thanks for noticing now."
"Maybe if you weren't sneaking around and home more often not out doing dumb shit I would have noticed. You also know how I feel about you getting into fights. I'm sick of the school calling me about your behavior Cassy. This has got to end." His father demanded strictly.
"Yea, and I'm sick of you pretending to give a fuck!" Cassy shot back.
He gave no hesitation and slapped his son. "Listen to me; I will make those injuries look like you were beaten up by a little girl. Do not say another word." But Cassy wasn't like Alex. If Phillip landed a hand on Alex they would fight, but Cassy never fought back, not out of respect, just because he was better at biting back with words.
"Next time you hit me, I will kill you." Cassy threatened him. Then he walked back towards the window, snatching his jacket from his bed. By the looks of it he wasn't planning on staying the night.
"Don't you dare leave this house?" His father yelled. "You get back here now!"
"Are you going to stop me? Because I think you were enjoying the time better without me to be completely honest." The teen answered sarcastically.
"If you leave now, you're not welcomed back here!" his father yelled again.
The boy turned to his father and grinned. "Then you should probably make sure you lock the doors and nail the windows shut."
He watched his son leave. Then Cassy disappeared from the house and walked down the dark street.
Phai entered quietly through the front door of his house. He smiled knowing that his dad left it unlocked for him. The difference between his parents and Cassy's was that they trusted him to be out late.
He was tired and thirsty and when he walked towards the kitchen for some water, he saw his father lying on the couch sleeping soundly in the other room with the TV on. It wasn't an unusual thing to find his father sleeping somewhere other than his bed. He seemed to find the couch more comfortable. But he noticed when he walked further into the room, his father's gun, sitting there, on the coffee table next to him and the brunette frowned wondering why his dad would have his gun out and in the open like that so he walked over to the table, picked up the gun and checked to see if it was loaded. And it was which scared him even more.
He didn't want to wake his dad. But if his mother came and saw it out, she would throw a fit and yell at him for being irresponsible, so preventing that from ever happening, Phai picked up the weapon, emptied it, and left upstairs to go put it back in its case.
Then he walked to his room and closed his door.
Alex walked inside of his home and noticed the house was completely destroyed. He thought less of a robbery and figured his father was probably in a drunken state.
Furniture were knocked over. Everything on the table and in the cabinets winded up on the floor. Broken pieces of glass was scattered and Alex shook his head, like he expected much more from his father. Infact coming into this mess, reminded him of himself as the golden king. It used to scare him when he was a kid but now it was something he had grown accustomed to.
He walked through the broken glass that were once dishes they used to eat and drink with, and noticed his father passed out on the couch in the living room. The TV was on some kind of sex channel and it didn't help that it was on the highest volume setting and that Phillip was snoring even louder.
The blonde sighed, walked inside the room where the TV was blasting, kicked some of the empty beer bottles out of the way and bent quietly by his father. The one bottle Phillip still had tight in his hand was a clear bottle of half drunken vodka. Alex slipped gently the alcohol bottle from his hand. He then went to go trash it. But when he ended up by the trash can, lifting the lid to toss it out, he hesitated.
I don't want this to be the end.
Alex walked back over to his dad and looked down at him. He listened closely and heard him talking in his sleep. Alex only made out nonsense.
Then the teenage boy began to speak. "Dad. I can see your future." He chuckled lightly to himself. "Do you want to know what that is? Of course you don't but I'm going to tell you anyway. Drinking. Drinking yourself into some oblivion state because you're a loser. It might not be the death of you but I think you'd be good at that."
Then the idea sparked. It sparked like fireworks exploding on the fourth of July.
Drinking. Running. Loser. I'd be good at that.
But instead of dropping it into the trash like he should have, he brought the unfinished bottle to his lips and finished the rest of it. After chugging down the strong vodka he threw the bottle at the TV shattering it along with the rest of the mess and headed up stairs leaving everything as it was.
"Goodnight dad."
He closed his bedroom door.
'I guess you have to do what you think is best for you. And I have to be strong about it. I just wish you weren't in such a hurry, that's all...I'm gonna miss you Alex.'
I remember these words, his words, the day I let him go. The day that's coming so fast but so slow. I remember them still...And it hurts.
It hurts more than you know.
Extra, extra long chapter for you guys! Sorry for the late update but this time I actually have an excuse! And as always, thank you, thank you for the reviews and hits! And I apologize to Bao Bao for not giving you anything to read last week :( Hopefully this chapter makes up for it.
-Stranger
