Robin Reacts to Harems, Part 2!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Waifu Simulat-I mean, Lucina Reacts! Last time, we left poor Robin at the mercy of a very lustful Sully. However shall we leave him this time? I don't know, at all! I write all of these by the seat of my pants! And with some annoyance when people leave me comments without reading the chapter's text closely!
Yes. I'm not in a good mood. Unfortunately ;-;
DISCLAIMER: Fire Emblem belongs to Nintendo, otherwise Aversa would be best little sister.
All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.
"S-Sully!" Robin laughed as the cavalier backed him into a corner. "P-please, t-think about this logically-"
"I don't want to think about this logically!" Sully growled. "Now take me on the fucking bench!"
'Dammit! What in Naga's name is going on here?' Robin thought as the cavalier drew within arm's length.
"Sully, eheh...l-let's calm down and think about what it'd achieve-"
"I don't need to-oof!" Suddenly, Sully fell onto the floor in a heap, unconscious.
"E-eh?" The grandmaster stepped back as her head fell just short of his boots.
Cordelia gave her an irritated look, a broom in her hands.
"That's not just a little irritating, Sully."
"Cordelia!" Robin sighed in acute relief. "Thank Naga, you saved me!"
"I just came back from dinner." The pegasus knight admitted. "I was going to clean up the arsenal when I ran into this."
Robin rubbed his chin. "Dinner..."
"Huh?" Cordelia looked confused. "What did you just-"
"Cordelia, were Lissa, Aversa, and Tharja with you at dinner?"
"Err...Lissa and Aversa were, Tharja was doing her...whatever she does." Cordelia answered, her features contorting into a frown. "Why?"
"...and what was for dinner?"
"Beef stew. Plain beef stew, made from fine Ylissean Brown beef and carrots. Why?"
Robin tapped his chin slowly, examining her features for any signs of weirdness."Did you have any?"
"...yes?" Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "Only a little. I'm trying one of Sully's diets for building muscle."
Robin stepped back from Cordelia. "Erm, Cordelia...do you feel any different?"
"...no, not at all."
"Let me rephrase that. Do you feel the urge to take me on a bench, right now?"
"...no..." The pegasus knight gave him a strange look. "Robin, you know full well that I'm-"
"...Did you see who cooked the stew?"
"Lucina did. She wanted to." Cordelia stated, before pausing. "Wait, wait, you don't think Lucina-"
"No, Lucina would never do that." The grandmaster shook his head. "I'm wondering how you managed to resist the effects of whatever's in that stew, but Lissa and Aversa- and Sully here- just tried to ravish me."
"So...like Lon'qu." Cordelia muttered with just a little hint of jealousy. "...you think it might be the Justice Cabal?"
"If whatever they cooked up was aimed at me, I'll wager that it was my lovely daughter." Robin sighed in exasperation. "Lucina was the target, but...it went wrong. Horribly wrong."
Cordelia leaned on her broom. "That makes sense, actually. None of the Cabal were at dinner..."
"Thank Naga." Robin swept his eyebrow, relieved. "Chrom would likely kill me if Cynthia were to be found trying...what Sully just did."
"Robin!"
Lucina ran down the hall, staring over at Robin and Cordelia. "Robin!"
"He's fine." Cordelia called back as the princess rushed over, scanning him for any injuries. "I saved him from Sully here."
"Ugh...meat..." Sully murmured, unconscious.
Lucina sighed in relief. "I'm glad you're alright, Robin. Listen, I-"
"Yes, I know. The Cabal dosed your stew with love potion aimed at me." Robin nodded. "We figured it out."
Cordelia leaned on her broom, looking over at Lucina and Robin. "I'm going to find Kellam, Lon'qu and Libra and convene. You guys try to find Miriel or Laurent to see if they can fix this madness."
"Good plan." Lucina hugged Robin's arm to her side tightly. "Leave Robin to me. He's mine, and I can handle him."
"L-Lucina, y-you're holding me a bit tight..." Robin stated, blushing slightly.
"I-I'm trying to make sure t-that nobody takes you." Lucina stated hastily. "W-we know Aversa and Lissa are after you, a-and...w-we know how they are..."
Cordelia lifted an eyebrow. "Lucina, are you-"
"SHUT UP I DON'T LIKE ROBIN LIKE THAT"
"I was going to ask something else, but...alright." The pegasus knight nodded slowly and walked off.
Lucina exhaled, pulling Robin harshly with her. "Let's go."
"Lucina, you don't seem entirely-"
"I said let's go." The princess repeated irritably, before grabbing him and storming off to find Miriel.
Robin was guided roughly by the princess across the palace.
"So, err, Lucina-"
"Yes?" The princess responded hastily and tersely.
"...do you know who caused it?"
"My mother. Possibly Morgan." Lucina responded quickly. "They've been missing ever since I started serving dinner."
Robin looked concerned. "Hey, Lucina, it's not your fault-"
"I know it isn't."
"You seem mad."
"Mad?" The princess shook her head hastily. "I'm not mad. Why would I be mad? I-It's not like I care that people are trying to take you on walls.
I-I'm not jealous."
Robin shrugged, taking her words on face value. "Well, I don't know why you'd be mad. I-I mean, w-I'm not interested i-in you, and y-you're not interested in me, right?"
"Y-yes!" Lucina nodded hurriedly. "T-that's true!"
"Why waste such a beautiful person, no? You cannot keep him for yourself."
Robin was suddenly approached by a red-faced Virion, who chuckled at him and caressed his cheek.
"Virion! S-stop!"
"My, my, Robin..." The lord of Roseanne almost purred. "You seem radiant today...would you be interested in a romp around the-"
"Back off, Virion." Lucina, an angry expression on her face quickly punched him in the gut, sending him reeling.
"Oof! Princess, you wound me so..." Virion coughed, clutching his gut and shaking his head. "...but you cannot stand between destined lovers! It is written in the stars-"
Lucina punched him in the gut again, and this time Virion collapsed to the floor, coughing.
"Ah..." The archer wheezed out, breathless. "...it seems...another time then, Robin..."
Robin raised a finger. "You know there are more peaceful ways of stopping people than punching them, right?"
"He was getting too close for comfort."
"It was hardly a problem you needed to solve by punching someone, Lucina." Robin maintained, somewhat reproachful. "Are you sure you're completely fine, Lucina?"
"...p-positive. Let's just find Miriel before more people go after you."
Meanwhile...
Morgan, Noire and Sumia had readied their pegasi for flight. Sumia looked around suspiciously.
"...do you think Lucina sees us?" The pegasus rider inquired, to which Morgan shook her head hurriedly.
"Thank Naga."
Morgan nodded in assent. "Lucina would probably have our heads. She'd get all jealous about Robin..."
"Y-yeah..." Noire sniffled. "C-can I go home...I-I didn't d-do anything..."
"Noire, you're the reason this whole thing happened!" Morgan snapped. "As much as I like you, you kinda knocked the love potion into the stew!"
"I-I'm sorry..." Noire responded, frowning. "I won't do it again..."
"Stop right there."
Sumia froze, turning behind her to see Cordelia, Lon'qu, Kellam and Panne. The latter was hefting a Beaststone, growling at them.
"So. What unholy magicks did you use to bring this chaos upon the palace?" The taguel asked, staring at Morgan intently.
"...errm...it wasn't me and I didn't do it?" Morgan tried hopefully, before breaking down and going on her knees.
"IT WAS ALL SUMIA SHE THREATENED ME IF I DIDN'T DO IT"
"W-what?!" The pegasus knight looked shocked. "G-gee, thanks, ratting me out like that!"
Lon'qu glared at them. "Do you have any idea of how irritating it is to have women constantly hounding you?"
Kellam sighed. "And, of course, most of them are probably going to do something severely stupid in the pursuit of Robin..."
Sumia and Morgan backed away from them, chuckling nervously.
"D-dammit! I just want to be born!" The tactician complained. "I-I already have enough problems to deal with without a time paradox! R-right, Noire?"
Noire was gone, having fled in time. Morgan's spirit sank at being abandoned.
Sumia flinched at Cordelia's glare. "I just want those two to stop dawdling and kiss already! A-and I want grandkids!"
They cowered, trembling, as the four rounded on them, heavily frustrated by the shenanigans they had brought upon them once more.
Lucina looked around, making sure nobody else was present.
"Wait, Lucina." Robin inquired. "Just who ate your stew?"
"Aversa, Aunt Lissa, Sully..." Lucina started, trying to remember who she'd seen in the hall. "...Virion, erm...Nowi..."
"Nowi?!"
"There he is!" Lissa yelled from above.
"Onii-chan!" Aversa squealed happily.
Sully scoffed. "Get him. He owes me a screwing anyway."
"He's mine first. Back off." Tharja warned darkly. "I'm only doing this so I can steal him off of you later."
"Ladies...I believe I get to have my romantic romp with him first, as the beautiest of beauties, no?" Virion laughed.
Nowi, in her dragon form, was carrying the lot. She laughed.
"As if Nowi would let you have him! I'm the cutest one here! Clearly I deserve him more!"
Robin felt chills run down his spine as he looked up to see Aversa, Tharja, Lissa, Sully and Virion riding on the back of Nowi's dragon form, surging straight for him.
Lucina muttered something irritably under her breath and grabbed Robin's arm. "Q-quit staring at them and let's go!"
"G-Good idea!" Robin answered as he ran away and taking her lead. "...you know where Miriel's house is?"
Lucina looked around the hill leading away from the palace, looking over to the north of the city, where Miriel's house was situated not far from the palace proper.
"It's this way." The princess rushed in that direction. "Hurry!"
"G-grah! Lucina, you're holding me quite tightly! Are you sure everything i-is fine?"
"IT IS NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS"
Robin complied silently, still shocked at how irritated Lucina was.
'...why is she so agitated? S-surely this situation isn't that bad, is it? She's not jealous, is she?
N-no! Of course not! Why would Lucina be jealous? S-she doesn't l-love me like that...w-we're just friends!'
"Lucina...do we know anyone who wasn't affected by the stew?" Robin inquired as they ran down the stone path away from the palace to find the sage. "I know Cordelia had some-"
"Cordelia?!"
"Don't worry, she didn't try anything like Tharja did."
"Good." Lucina muttered. "Continue."
"Well, I know Cordelia's safe...you're safe, but who isn't?"
"Fiora, I know, went training with Kjelle somewhere to get away from the Cabal." Lucina counted off two people with her fingers. "The Cabal themselves are not to be accounted for."
"So, no Cynthia, no Owain, no Henry, no Severa. And no Todd, either." The grandmaster noted. "Alright, that who does that leave?"
Lucina mentally sifted through who she knew was in the hall. "...so, that makes for...oh Naga no."
"What?"
"Walhart was in there."
"W-Wal...hart?" Robin started trembling at the thought of the King of Conquerors pursuing him in the same manner Sully had just done.
"BEHOLD!"
Lucina and Robin slowly turned behind them to see a blushing Walhart, hefting his massive axe Wolf Berg on his shoulder, mounted on his large warhorse that he had named, for some inconceivable reason, Sleipnir.
"I, the King of Conquerors, have come to claim my consort, with whom I shall ride upon the world- and even the Outrealms themselves- in GLORIOUS CONQUEST!"
Lucina glared at him. "Oh, you know what, I'm sick of doing this."
Stepping in front of Robin, the princess drew the Parallel Falchion, staring down at Walhart with all the wrath she could muster.
Walhart charged at them, staring intently at Robin, before Lucina interrupted his line of sight. Suddenly, however, the King of Conquerors was brought to a halt, staring in horror at the princess' wrathful gaze. Something about it had pierced the haze that had clouded his mind.
"...w-what sorcery do you...have...to plant fear in the heart of the King of Conquerors!" Walhart boomed, pulling up his horse to turn away from Lucina.
"Stay away from my Robin."
"...grah..." The conqueror shook his head, turning around. "...it seems...I must retreat...but I will prevail another day, child!"
With that, Walhart, sufficiently deterred, fled the scene, leaving an irritated Lucina and a shocked Robin.
"D-did you just say your-"
"Y-you heard nothing!" Lucina blushed, shaking her head. "L-let's just find Miriel already!"
When they finally arrived at the house- it was an old house, somewhat in disrepair due to Miriel never maintaining it, with a relatively dirty exterior compared to the clean white bricks of the houses adjacent- Lucina and Robin found it shut, with a note on the door.
"Gone to collect...what in the name of Naga is Miriel doing collecting cocoa leaves?!" Robin cried, exasperated.
"Do we know where Laurent is?" Lucina looked around hurriedly. "Come on..."
"Heheh...you know, I never knew I could be so sexy~"
The door opened and Robin was yanked out of Lucina's grasp and into Reflet's grasp. The female grandmaster had discarded her heavy longcoat and shirt and replaced it with a very revealing bathing suit. Both could see plainly that Reflet's figure was...even better than Tharja's. Or Aversa's, for that matter.
Both Lucina and Robin stared at her, taking in her creamy skin, her toned legs and-
"Hehe...you like what you see?" Reflet said teasingly. "Especially you, Robin~?"
"N-not you too!" Robin cried, shortly before he was crushed into Reflet's considerable chest.
Lucina blushed. "G-get away from him! Y-you can't have him!"
"Oh, jealous, are we?" Reflet smiled. "I thought you were just friends~"
"W-we are just friends!" The princess snapped irritably. "Y-you're a grandmaster, it should be plain to you!"
"Well, you're either jealous of me or jealous of him." The female grandmaster chuckled. "And I can understand why you'd be jealous of me~
After all, not all of us can be blessed with such...assets..."
"A-Assets?!" Lucina blushed profusely. "T-that's absurd!"
"You know what I find to be absurd?" A boy's exasperated voice sounded out.
"Eh?"
"Reflet, you cannot simply sneak into Mother's house and strip to your underclothes." Laurent muttered, adjusting his glasses, tapping his foot impatiently. He was completely unaffected by her current lack of clothing- and very unimpressed. "Would you mind vacating the premises?"
"B-but Laurent...I-I must show my other self how much I love him..." Reflet gave him a longing gaze, pouting.
"N-no you don't need to!" Lucina snapped.
Laurent closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"...this is the Cabal again, isn't it. Well, we can confirm if they've infiltrated you with a love potion with a simple device I had the fortune of creating."
He slowly drew a very sharp, very spiky needle. Reflet stared at it slowly.
"Eheheh...Laurent...think about this for a second...t-that looks very sharp..." The female grandmaster looked around helplessly.
"Well, if you're afflicted by that potion, then I have to concoct an appropriate cure, do I not? Why, it might consist of such mixes that even my mother might find vile-"
"OKAY OKAY I'M NOT UNDER THE EFFECTS OF THE POTION JUST DON'T TOUCH ME WITH THAT THING"
Reflet threw herself to the floor, begging and relinquishing Robin.
Lucina glared at her. "WHAT?!"
"...I just wanted to troll Robin!"
Robin gave her an irritated glare, his face red from having been stuck in her chest for a considerable amount of time. "I'm not exactly in the mood to be trolled right now.
I've run away from conquerors, dark mages, dragons and drunk archers all night. And Laurent, how would you know about the potion?"
Laurent sighed, shaking his head. "Cynthia approached me two days ago, begging me to give her the instructions to create a potion that was aimed at someone in particular.
Her begging became incessant, so I acquiesced simply to stop it. I regret that mistake, and for that, I duly apologise."
Lucina exhaled sharply. "...apology accepted. Are you working on an antidote?"
"Antidote would be incorrect. The proper word here would be counter-agent." Laurent corrected her. "Nonetheless, I have been at work since I realised what the Cabal was planning to do with my instructions.
I have a batch of the agent ready, but there is a catch."
"A catch?" Robin raised an eyebrow.
"The agent must be administered directly, bypassing the stomach entirely."
"Meaning?" The princess responded, not understanding.
The boy adjusted his glasses calmly.
"We will need to directly introduce the agent into their blood. I have prepared several needles with the appropriate agent.
We need to introduce it to them."
Robin raised a finger to question him. "Wait, why can't we just wait for it to wear off?"
"That is a viable option too. Are you willing to wait a week?"
"Those two planned to make me and Robin do...indecent things...for a whole week..." Lucina shuddered, shaking her head. "N-not that I want to...o-or anything..."
Laurent held up his finger. "No, the potion would wear off the moment the afflicted fulfils their desires with the target, so to speak."
Reflet scoffed. "Those fools. It wouldn't work anyway.
Lucina and Robin are far too awkward to ever do something like that. Even if they got married, they'd probably limit themselves to holding hands!"
Both turned to her, yelling in unison.
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"
Laurent's eyes narrowed. "One might be unconvinced-"
"Nowi says HI!"
Suddenly, Nowi- and everyone on her back, crashed through the window into Laurent, knocking the mage aside with a grunt. Aversa and Lissa immediately leapt off, glomping Robin.
"Onii-chan, I've missed you so much!" The dark mage called, rubbing her cheeks into him.
"Teehee! You're so tough and so cuddly..." Lissa giggled into his arm.
"H-help me..." Robin wheezed out.
"Let go of him!"
Lucina jumped, turning around to see her father, his cape billowing behind him in a sudden convenient wind.
"C-Chrom!" Lissa yelped, unhanding the grandmaster. "W-what are you doing here?!"
"Y-you're not taking my onii-chan..." Aversa whimpered. Chrom shoved her aside, grabbing Robin.
The grandmaster sighed in relief. "Oh, thank Naga. Chrom, you saved me! I was-mmmph!"
Suddenly, the Exalt had pressed his lips upon Robin's, silencing him.
Lucina stared at the sight in horror, her eyes wide with one eyelid twitching.
"F-Father...?"
"I just...can't help it!" Chrom admitted, blushing. "Robin-"
"Dammit, not now, Chrom!" Robin grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
He himself was blushing, but this situation was even worse; now they were definitely playing into Sumia's hands. "Don't succumb to it!
It's exactly what your wife wants! Have you seen the amount of stories she writes about us?!"
"But...I-I don't-gyaaah!" Chrom suddenly arched his back, before slackening and falling unconscious. Lucina stood behind him, one of Laurent's needles in her hand.
"...cured him...but..." The princess shuddered. "...I have seen things I will never unsee..."
"...you know, that wasn't that bad..." Robin muttered. "...n-not that I like Chrom in that way..."
"He's free!" Sully yelled, pointing at Robin with a shuddering finger. "Get 'im!"
"I'm having him first." Tharja grumbled.
Aversa crossed her arms, pouting. "No, onii-chan is mine!"
"Finders keepers!" Lissa protested.
Virion chuckled. "Ladies, may I remind you that I deserve him more as the beautiest of beauties?"
Lucina felt something twitch in her temple.
"...you...are not having...Robin."
Tharja scoffed dismissively, drawing her Goetia tome. "What are you going to do to us, huh? You don't have enough needles-"
Minutes later...
"Wow." Reflet slipped on her Plegian coat as she watched the sleeping pile of women- and Virion- on the floor of Miriel's house. "...that was...surprisingly fast and brutal."
"Did you really need to jam the needle into Tharja's back that hard?" Robin inquired, as Lucina sat in the corner, crossing her arms and huffing.
"That was necessary."
"Her clothes aren't that thick-"
"THAT WAS NECESSARY." Lucina repeated, louder.
Robin looked aside at the practical destruction of Miriel's front room, his eyes resting on the sleeping Exalt.
"...I hope they don't remember anything when they wake up..."
"Yeah." Reflet whistled. "Man, Sumia would have a field day."
"N-not a WORD of this to Mother!" Lucina snapped. "N-not a word!"
"Okay, I won't tell her you went crazy jealous and basically stabbed Tharja with a needle when she tried to-"
"I WASN'T JEALOUS!" The princess countered. "I was just...w-worried! That's all, worried!"
"W-why would she be jealous..." Robin muttered, blushing. "...s-she doesn't like me like that anyway..."
...
"And I just thought, you two are completely dense." Reflet recounted, standing in front of the Justice Cabal.
It was the next day. Thankfully, most of the people who had partaken of the stew did not remember their actions, with only Walhart remembering a vague fear of Lucina for some unfathomable reason.
Sumia and Morgan were sentenced to being Miriel's assistants in whatever experiment she asked them to be in punishment for the shenanigans.
Morgan sighed. "Well...that backfired...and I don't think I'm liking the fact that Miriel's planning to use us for experiments on...what did she call it...cocoa leaves?"
"It seems so innocent but..." Sumia shuddered, shaking her head before looking back at Reflet.
"So, did you get anything out of it?"
"I swore to Chrom I wouldn't say a word. So I didn't."
Reflet passed her a picture taken from a snapshot tome of Chrom and Robin sharing a kiss. Sumia squealed in delight.
"YES!" The pegasus knight cheered. "Finally!"
"W-what about Lucina?!" Morgan cried.
"You two realise that love potions won't really work on them, right?" Reflet stated, shaking her head. "They're far too awkward to do something like that.
No, if we want those two together soon, we need to try less...lustful means."
"B-but those are boring!" Cynthia complained, stomping the ground indignantly.
Gerome closed his eyes. "Cynthia, you have to be more patient. They will get together at their own natural pace..."
"Well, boys and girls..." Todd stood up, laughing as he opened up a notebook in his hands.
"...I might have a plan or two in the wings to get our two adorably dense lovebirds together.
Give me a second to explain."
END
A/N: AHAHAHAHAHHA and a little shoutout to you yaoi fans. Next chapter, Lucina Reacts to Revenge Fics!
Yes, we're talking about the ones that bash Sumia for no reason. I hate those fics.
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!
