I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear.
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here?
Angel ~ Sarah McLachlan
The door to his parents' room had been closed for the last three hours. In the last two hours, Draco heard no murmured voices from within when he walked by. His mother was asleep and there was no reason to think she wouldn't rest peacefully through the night. If there'd been an inordinate risk, Granger wouldn't have left. She was nearly as vigilant about his mother's health as him and his father.
The house was silent and all was well, for the time being, at least. Still Draco couldn't control the fear that plagued his mind or the tremors that attached his body or the tears that sprang to his eyes. Granger didn't say it, but he saw it in her eyes and heard it in the desperation of her voice. His mother almost died. For a minute, Granger thought she was gone.
Pacing by his parents' room, he still heard nothing. He was alone, falling apart, and torturing himself. Worst of all, he had no valid reason to be doing it. His mother was fine, safe and sleeping. If anything unexpected happened, his father was with her. If she needed him, his father would send for him and he'd Apparate to her instantly.
There was no reason to stay in this house alone when there was only one place he wanted to be. Taking a deep breath, he made up his mind. He was going.
It was late. Harry would've expected him hours ago. By now, he was probably in bed, but Draco couldn't bring himself to care about waking his lover. He needed Harry. He needed him now.
With one last glance at the closed bedroom room, he Disapparated, reappearing at the foot of Harry's bed.
His lover was in bed, but showed no interest in sleeping. The room was fully lit and Harry sat upright with what looked like a vial of that potion Granger gave him to aid in his attempt to stop drinking. He refused to look at Draco, anger seeping off him.
"I thought you weren't coming," he said coldly. "You could've sent an owl, you know. I was worried."
Draco felt himself breaking. Harry was right to be mad, but he couldn't deal with it then. All he wanted was to feel his lover's arms around him.
"Please, don't be mad at me." His voice broke, but he didn't care about showing weakness to Harry. "Not tonight."
When Harry looked up at him, his eyes widened with concern. All traces of anger faded from his face. He sat the empty vial aside and rushed towards Draco, wrapping him in his arms.
"What happened?" he asked, holding Draco tightly and leading him towards the bed. "You look awful. You've been crying."
Seated on the familiar bed in the safety of Harry's arms, Draco broke down. Sobs wracked his body and he did nothing to stop them. Knowing exactly what he needed, Harry simply held him, stroking his hair. He stopped asking questions and just offered comfort.
Draco didn't know how much time passed when he finally stopped crying. In reality, he ran out of tears and strength to shed them. Using the last of his energy, he forced himself to sit up so he could look at Harry. His boyfriend looked back at him with sadness and concern. His t-shirt was drenched in Draco's tears.
"I blubbered all over you," he muttered, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." Harry pulled him over so his head was resting in Harry's lap. Again, he started stroking Draco's hair. "Just tell me what you need."
"You." Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's waist.
"Well, you've already got that."
"Mother almost died today," he blurted out. "Granger saved her life, but she didn't think she could. I saw it. She thought Mother was going to die." Fresh tears burned his already sensitive eyes.
"Oh, Draco. I'm so sorry." Harry draped his arm around Draco's shoulders. "How's she doing now?"
"Okay, I guess. Granger stayed at the house all day and most of the evening to make sure she was all right." He could feel himself starting to panic as a hard truth hit him. "But this is just going to keep happening to her. Someday, Granger won't be able to save her. Harry, I'm going to lose my mother."
Harry held him tighter. "I wish I could fix this for you. I'm so sorry, Draco."
"I hate her, you know," Draco said. "Andromeda. I don't care that she's raising your godson. She's a murderer."
Harry sighed. "I admit, I haven't felt very close to her lately. I never thought she could really do this."
"I hate her."
Sliding Draco's head off his lap, Harry stretched out beside him, pulling him close. Even Harry's touch did nothing to ease his anger and hatred.
"What about my godson?" he asked. "Do you hate him, too?"
Surprised by the question, Draco rolled over to face him. Harry watched him without anger of judgment.
"Of course, I don't hate him. He's a baby - a baby I've never even laid eyes on. Hating him because of his grandmother's cruelty is just the kind of ridiculous reasoning that's going to cost my mother her life." He managed a small smile. "Besides, he's your godson. How could I hate someone you love so much?"
Harry kissed him quickly on the lips. "I wish you could meet him."
Draco snorted. "Yeah, dear Auntie Andromeda would love that. She probably thinks I'm the next Dark Lord."
"She doesn't know you."
"She doesn't know my parents either, not anymore. They haven't spoken since they were children. That isn't stopping her from killing my mother."
Lowering his eyes, Harry didn't reply. It was obvious he'd run out of things to say on the topic. Draco didn't blame him. When it came to his mother's looming death there were only so many things to say and none of them helped anyway.
"I'd like to meet him, you know," he told Harry. "Maybe someday." Although he couldn't imagine a day when Andromeda Tonks would let him near her grandson. He shuddered to think how she'd treat Harry if she learned about their relationship.
"It was really bad today?" Harry asked abruptly as if their conversation about Teddy never took place. "Your mum, I mean. Hermione really thought she was going to die?"
"It was written all over her face. And there was so much blood. Only a fool wouldn't realize she was close to bleeding to death."
As if Harry sensed the very second he'd calmed down enough to handle it, he continued to ask questions.
"Hermione treated her at Malfoy Manor? She stayed there?"
"She took care of my mother in the room where Bellatrix nearly killed her. Your friend is something else, Harry. She was brilliant."
"She is brilliant," Harry agreed. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm going on like this. It's cruel asking you to relive it."
Draco kissed him.
"I'm going to relive the horrors of today no matter what. You're asking because you care. You care about me, Mother, and Hermione. But I'll admit, I don't want to talk about it anymore, not right now."
"What do you want?" Harry asked.
"I want to forget. I want to force today from my mind, just for a little while. I want to feel alive," he whispered in his lover's ear. "I want you to make love to me, Harry."
Harry didn't respond with words, but that was okay. Words couldn't free Draco from the weight of the fear and grief that was crushing him. Harry shoved his lips into Draco's and began undressing him.
When their bodies melted together he finally felt at peace.
