Bianca woke the next day to find the bed empty beside her. She had wearily reached out a hand to find the empty pillow where Marissa should have been. Bianca sat up and stretched out, lazily rubbed her eyes and scanned the room for her lover. Where on Earth could she be? She thought. My God, it's 7am on a Saturday…and we are on vacation. Bianca rubbed her eyes again and let out a little yawn, then got out of bed and headed into the bathroom to shower.
/
Marissa had practically sprung out of bed earlier that morning. She woke up around 5:30am or so and could not seem to fall back asleep. Her mind was reeling with thoughts of Bianca and the adventure they were on. I am just so unbelievably happy. I don't know what other way to describe it. Just look at her sleeping, so peaceful. I want to see this every day. I know that is ridiculous, because we are so new…but I do. I just want to experience everything I can with her for as long as I can. Marissa quietly crept out of the bed and dressed in the dark. With a kiss to her lover's temple, she snuck out of the room for an early morning walk.
Marissa hoped that the walk would clear her head, as she continued to think of her new relationship. I absolutely hated those three days apart earlier this week. Marissa sighed. When she told me she loved me, and wanted to be with me too…I was beside myself. I felt like I was in some crazy wonderful dream that I could wake up from any second. And although I needed to be with my son, and to work, I wanted to know that she was there. All we had were those brief phone calls. I don't want to scare her off, but I want her arms around me at night. When I am home from work, and AJ is asleep…I don't want just a sleepover, or a phone call, or even a romantic getaway. I want Bianca, flesh and blood, waiting on the couch to talk about our day, holding me at night, kissing me in the morning.
Marissa knew that this could very well make her lover cut and run, but she couldn't find any way around it. She knew what she felt and she knew it was coming from her heart. She found herself heading back to the room. I am not entirely sure of how I am going to tell her this, but it has to be done. I need to confront JR and be honest with him and I am going to ask Bianca to take a giant leap of faith with me. I am done being scared and afraid. I know what I want now and I am going to go after it with both hands.
/
Bianca was standing under the stream of the shower. Her mind was racing with thoughts. Where in Earth is she? Really. I don't like not knowing where she is. Gosh, that sounds so 'possessive'…but it isn't that. I just hate being away from her. I hate not seeing that smile. I don't know what is happening to me? This relationship is so unlike everything I have known. There doesn't seem to be any secrets, or over-analyzing each other's intentions. Sure, she is 'new' like Maggie was, but she seems so much more sure than Maggie ever did. She is confident and secure. It really doesn't matter, I guess, because I am not letting my past hold me back anymore.
I am going to love her fiercely and with everything I have, because that is what she is promising me and…well, she deserves it. I need to go find her and tell her this. She needs to know that I want to face my mother, or JR…or the world, for that matter and tell them how much she means to me. It has been nice having this 'little secret' and knowing how this beautiful love grew out of a beautiful friendship, but I don't want to hide it anymore. I want it to blaze across the sky. I have been trying so hard to deny it, or to slow it down, but I want her with me. I want a life and a future with her.
Oh My God, Montgomery…you are rushing too fast! Bianca thought at the realization of the conclusion her mind was heading to. It is fast, and scary…but everything is less scary with Marissa in my life. I just need a timeline. Like, if she was in court, it wouldn't be near as bad, if I knew that she was going to be in my arms that night. Or if I could see her face across the breakfast table, I would know that every morning I had that to look forward too. I need that schedule , or timeline, because right now the unknown is killing me. I hate not knowing when I will see her. This weekend has been amazing, but when we leave tomorrow morning it's going to be lunch dates, sleepovers and phone calls. I really don't know if I can go back to that? I gave her a big speech about going slow and steady, so how do I tell her I want to take a leap without scaring her away?
/
Marissa opened the door to the suite and could hear the shower running. She walked over to her purse and checked her cell phone. Nothing from JR or Krystal…just a call from Colby. Hmm? I am sure that can wait until tomorrow. No, if there is an emergency…someone could call back. This weekend is about Bianca. Ooo…I am gonna get us some breakfast ordered and then we can have a talk. Marissa quietly picked up the phone and ordered some coffee, juice, berries and chocolate croissants from Henry. Then she stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the lake and just waited. Waited for her food, waited for the courage, waited for her future to come walking out to join her.
