The Thing About Parties
(Saturday Night, June 6th)
"So, remember," Audrey reminds them, "at the end of the song Chad says he has a blank space for us, he looks at me and I walk off, and then he looks at you and you walk off."
"Right," Ben confirms, and Audrey smiles.
"You can do this." She slowly frowns, "You ate, right?"
Ben's mouth gapes as he eyes off, and Chad answers, "No. He didn't."
Ben faces her, "Dinner is right now. All we need to do is go out there."
"You could have at least had one of your protein bars or beef things before going on stage," Audrey complains.
"Audrey," Ben widens his eyes. "I'm going to be fine."
She sighs, placing a hand to her head, "I still can't believe we're doing this." before she gives Chad a look. "You know how much trouble your little 'metaphor' could get us in?"
"Don't worry about it," Chad dismisses. "I do stuff like this all the time."
"Yeah. He's not gay at all," Mal comments, after Chad sings to Ben that he's his queen.
"And no one bats an eye," Evie notices, before she checks her nails.
"What about Ben?" Carlos asks.
"What about him?" Mal dismisses.
"Well, his lines aren't exactly innocent either," he answers.
Evie laughs, "Ben would do anything for Chad. All Chad has to do is smile, tease him a little, and get him to follow him."
"And he doesn't even realize it," Mal adds on, crossing her arms when Audrey and Ben take their turns circling Chad.
"He didn't tell you about this," Carlos assumes.
"Tell me?" Mal's eyebrows scrunch. "Of course, not. I'm only his girlfriend. Why would he tell me?"
"Okay, then."
Ben sings how he has a blank space for Chad, and Mal straightens up, "The hell?"
"I would not want to be Ben right now," Evie whispers.
"Yep," Carlos confirms.
Mal watches as Ben caresses Chad's neck, "Did you see that?"
"No," he opts out.
"Yeah," Evie devises. "I didn't see that either."
Chad wraps his arms over Audrey and Ben's shoulders, turns to Audrey, and she picks up his hand to drop his arm, rolling her eyes as she leaves. Chad looks at Ben, and he playfully shoves Chad before turning; however, before he can leave, Chad takes Ben's arm, pulls him towards him, and places his other hand on the side of Ben's head before kissing him. His heart pounds. He's done it. There's no way Ben could excuse this. He has to know, now.
When their lips part, Ben eyes over him as the tart scent fills his senses. It's right there. All he has to do now is take it. Ben meets Chad's greyish blue eyes, and he pushes him away. He can't do that to him, especially right now in front of all these people. He turns around, and after Chad watches him walk off, he meets the audience's gaze, places one hand behind his back, the other flat on his stomach, and moves one foot forward to bow.
"Okay." Carlos admits, "I saw that."
"You think they planned that?" Mal unsurely inquires.
"No idea," Evie slowly remarks.
Mal watches Ben make his way around the crowd, back over to the stage before sitting down at the piano, "And he's moving on like it never happened."
"They aren't," Carlos notices, as Chad follows Aziz into the hallway.
"They talk?" Mal surprises.
"I mean, they are royal," Evie points out.
"Right," Mal accepts, before she returns her attention to the stage.
Meanwhile, in the hall Aziz faces Chad, "What in the Prophet's name was that?"
"What was what?" Chad frowns.
"What was what?" Aziz disbelieves, gesturing down the hall. "You just kissed Ben. In front of everyone."
"So," Chad shrugs it off. "It was part of the act."
"There's no way Ben went for that."
"What?" Chad bypasses. "You never heard of improv."
"You couldn't improv something a little less illegal?" his mouth gapes. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?"
He smirks, "They'll have to make it legal now."
"If you think they're going to legalize something just because one of us got caught breaking the law, you're sorely mistaken." Aziz's eyes widen, "Think about it. Why would they face all that hate from their kingdoms, when it's so much easier just to tell us to behave?"
"Look." Chad places a hand on Aziz's shoulder, "I'm sorry if your kingdom is still stuck in the mud, but mine never chopped off people's hands for stealing." before he raises his eyebrows. "I think mine could stand a little change."
"I think you need to think about others," he counters, and Chad rolls his eyes. "If homosexuality is legalized, what's stopping murder from becoming legal?"
Chad takes his hand from his shoulder to point it at him, "You're more insane than I am."
"The laws of this country are heavily based on scripture," Aziz reminds him. "If homosexuals can suddenly show themselves in public, what's stopping people from murdering them all?"
"Uh." Chad points out, "How about the God damn law?"
"What God damn law?" Aziz deduces. "Once one of God's laws are tossed out the window, why should any of the others be any more respected?"
"Because God writes morality into our hearts," Chad immediately answers, "and all humans have the capability to deduct right from wrong whether they believe His word or not." He makes a face, "I mean, look at Ben."
Aziz takes a moment, "I'm just going to forget that you gave Ben for that example."
Chad takes a deep breath, "Trust me. Our parents aren't even going to turn this into anything. It's nothing I haven't done before."
He frowns, "You've kissed a guy in front of them before?"
"Well, no." Chad excuses, "But it can't be that different from singing about being in love with a guy, right? There's no way they're going to make a big deal out of this."
"Hey," Chad hears Audrey, and he notices her walking down the hall.
He turns towards her, "Hey."
She frowns, "I just thought that…" before she takes Chad's hands. "I want to help you." She notices Aziz, "Unless you want to help him. It's going to be a lot of work, and I'm honestly not sure I'll have the time to give him the attention he needs."
"Are you kidding?" Chad's mouth gapes. "Muslims are even more strict than Catholics. I'll take my chances with you."
Audrey takes a minute, "You're probably right. With your sin getting worse, we really don't need you being around guys all the time."
"Guys," Aziz repeats, before he offers Chad an unsure expression. "You're not really a homosexual?"
"I'm bi, actually," Chad clears up, "but—"
"But that's the first thing we need to fix," Audrey interrupts, and Chad frowns at her. "You're not bi. That's not even a real thing."
"Audrey," Chad's eyes lower.
"God doesn't make mistakes." She places her hands onto his shoulders, sadly smiling, "We were happy once, but then the demons invaded your mind. They're making you think these things, but with God's help we will cure you."
He meets her dark brown eyes, "And if I told you I only got with you so that you would break up with Ben, what would you say then?"
She eyes over him, "You had these thoughts back then?"
"I didn't know it," Chad mumbles, "but I only really started to like you after I got to know you."
Audrey nods, "Well, uh, the longer a sin has been happening, the harder it is to stop it." She smiles, "But with God, all things are possible."
"No," Aziz interrupts with disgust, and Audrey frowns at him. "You're interpreting it all wrong. God made us for this earth, and because of that we will be flawed." He glances at Chad before staring down Audrey, "Allah will not cure Chad, because homosexual behavior is linked to families with fertile women. It's not a flaw. It's by design that he has these thoughts."
"Homosexuality is a sin," Audrey hisses.
"Exactly." Aziz faces Chad, "With God all things are possible, but don't expect to be cured. All God can do is help you find fulfillment elsewhere." He meets his eyes, "I highly recommend abstinence. There is nothing more fulfilling than focusing on the most important things in your life and achieving those goals."
Chad hesitates, "Ben is the most important thing in my life."
Aziz glances down, "Then aim for a platonic romance. If Jesus really said to love thy neighbor, then I'm sure he couldn't condemn that." He turns to Audrey, "But you're not going to cure Chad of his sin by shaming him for it. We all sin, some worse than others, but it does not change the fact that we are merely another one of God's animals."
"We are not animals," she debates. "We were made in His image."
"And that's supposed to make us special somehow?" Aziz dismantles. "We're not divine. We were made for this earth, and therefor we have none of God's perfections." He gives Chad a look, "That is why God left us His laws and we must not mess with them." He sternly eyes him, "You understand me?"
"Yes," he whispers, and when Aziz strides away, Chad looks back at Audrey.
"I don't care what Aziz says," Audrey declares. "You can't possibly be happy clinging onto Ben like this."
He takes a moment, "I'm not."
She nods, "Okay." before she smiles. "Then we will find you someone else to obsess over, someone proper." He observes her expression before placing a hand to her hair, but she removes it with an unsure noise, "Someone who's not me."
"Sorry," he frowns. "I just don't see myself with anyone else."
"I'm not the one for you," she softly says, before she eyes down toward the dining room as the people begin to gather. "You need someone more like Ben, but a girl."
"I really don't want a relationship right now," he thinks.
"Okay." She smiles again, "We can focus on you for now, but if you really don't want a relationship right now, that includes Ben too."
Chad recalls Ben shoving him after the kiss, and he slowly nods, "Yeah. I can do that."
That's the thing about parties, Ben's reminded, as he examines the large amount of food in front of him and the dessert table behind his parents, set against the brick wall. He gulps as his stomach growls, and he gathers three types of meat and some potatoes onto his plate. "Ben," his mother laughs. "Slow down." Ben faces her, but when she continues the conversation with Rapunzel, he looks down at his plate. Over half of the food is gone, and for the life of him he can't recall when it'd disappeared. He stares at it. He'd binged, and he hadn't even realized it.
Ben stands from his seat and as soon as he knows it, he's staring into the bathroom mirror. There he is, that fake person he can't even recognize. All he sees is the things he's done and the monster underneath the king's skin, hiding like a wolf in a sheep's wool. He punches his reflection and then seethes, holding his hand in pain, and the tears intrude his eyes. Why can't he just be normal? How hard could it be to just eat frickin' normally? "Hey." Ben glances at Audrey and leans his palms down onto the countertop as he lowers his head. He stares into the sink, as Audrey steps towards him, "Did you… throw up?"
He sadly chuckles, "No." before wiping the falling tears away. "No." He shakes his head, "I don't do that."
"I had to ask," she explains.
He whispers, "I know." before he wets his lips, takes in a breath, and moves past her.
She follows him out the door, "Ben." and hurries in front of him. "Talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about."
When he tries to move past her, she steps to the side and places her hands on his arms, "Your eating disorder. You can tell me about it."
Ben's eyes shift, "I told it was nothing, I was just making a big deal out of it."
"No," Audrey insists. "You weren't. Me. Chad. We can all see it."
"Would you just," Ben bares his teeth, as he grabs Audrey's wrists to take them from his arms; however, suddenly it overtakes him.
"Ben?" Audrey cautions.
"What's that smell?" He leans forward to sniff her, "You change your…"
"Perfume?" Audrey takes a step back, but he still grips her wrists. "No. I." He steps towards her, and she moves back again, "I forget to wear it."
"You smell so better without it," he slowly says, as she finds herself against the wall. He leans into her neck, "Almonds?"
"Almonds?" Audrey's eyebrows furrow, before the realization hits her. His hands move to her arm and hip, and when she feels him start to suck on her neck, she presses her hands against him. He doesn't budge, and when he tests his teeth she nervously laughs, "Okay, Ben. I get it. I need to stop having a handful of dark chocolate covered almonds for breakfast." She feels the warm breath on her skin and stares up at the ceiling. God. How is she supposed to get out of this?
"Ben!"
He steps away from Audrey and widens his eyes, as he watches his mother march towards them, "What are you doing?"
"I, uh…"
"I know Mal can be promiscuous," she half laughs, "but that does not give you the right to do the same to her."
"Right," Ben catches on, before he awkwardly smiles. "I'm sorry?"
"You have the weekend to tell Mal about this," she asserts. "If you don't, I will."
"But Mother," he hurries.
"No buts," she narrows her eyes. "I am very disappointed in you."
He wets his lips, lifting a hand, "I just…" before he eyes from Audrey to her. "I didn't mean to."
She takes a minute, "Go back to dinner. We'll discuss this later."
Ben eyes off in annoyance, before he moves past her a mutters in French, "Fuck we will."
She watches him eye the floor as he leaves, before she turns back to Audrey. She widens her eyes, "He came onto me."
Belle nods, folding her hands in front of her, "I thought it seemed like that." before eyeing over her. "Do we need to discuss this with your parents?"
"No," Audrey hurriedly denies. "I'm fine. Really."
She raises her eyebrows, "It's okay if you're not."
"I just want Ben to get some help." Audrey shakes her head, "I don't really know what that would be." before she meets her eyes. "But another lawsuit isn't going to do that."
"Alright," Belle nods. "Thank you for your candor. If you have any further concerns, you are free to tell me."
"He has," Audrey hesitates, "eating issues."
Belle frowns, "I know. We're working on it." before she looks back down the hall.
When Ben notices the brown shoes, he lifts his head and Doug smiles, "Hey."
"Hey," he mumbles.
"So," Doug slowly says, peeking back at Audrey. "How's the cravings?"
Ben narrows his eyes, "How do you think they are?"
Doug nods, eyeing the dinner table, before facing him, "If you want—"
"Don't," he interrupts.
"I couldn't get you a gift," he reminds him. "This is what I have."
Ben rubs his forehead, "Just don't." and he feels the tears sting his eyes when he faces him. "Don't ask me. You can't."
"Why?" Doug evenly responds.
"Because," Ben whispers, "if you ask again…" He shakes his head, "I'm not going to be able to say no this time."
"Good," he counters. "I don't want to force you."
He shakes his head harder, "I don't need it."
Doug takes a moment, "I don't care if it's just in your head or not." and he watches as the tears leave his eyes. "You need it on some level." He watches Ben wipe the tears away, "I bet it would at least help you keep yourself together, emotionally."
"Honey." Ben looks over at his mother, and she questions, "May I speak with you?"
"Really?" he unsurely responds.
She nods, "You were right. If we don't discuss this now, other things will cloud over it."
Ben turns back to Doug, "You were going to stay a day or two?"
"Well, uh." He adjusts his glasses, "That would make things easier."
Ben nods, "We'll talk later." and when Doug walks away, Ben turns to his mother.
She takes a minute, "What you were doing to Audrey…" Ben scans the hallway, as she asks, "Was it like a, uh, primal urge or—"
"That's enough." Ben glances down, shifting in his stance, before he faces her, "Audrey just… She smelled different, and it caught me off-guard." He thinks, "I was intrigued by it. That's it. I wasn't like— I wasn't trying to, um… you know."
"You made her uncomfortable," she lets him know.
"Yeah." Ben makes a noise, "I'm sorry."
She nods, "Well, there's nothing we can do now. Just do your best to not do that in the future, please."
Ben's mouth opens, before he manages, "Yeah. Okay."
She smiles, "Come on. Let's get you back to dinner." before she places a hand on his back and guides him to the dining room.
"And Ben just keeps getting better every year," Queen Ariel comments.
"He does, doesn't he?" Ben hears his father say, and he eyes over at him. He grins, "You know, he only had a couple weeks to practice?"
"That's unbelievable," King Eric shocks.
Ben's heart picks up speed, as his father unsurely remarks, "Ben can do anything he sets his mind to." and his face warms. "It doesn't surprise me at all that he was still so great."
"Ben?" Mal questions, and after he faces her, he abruptly stands and heads out of the room. There's this dark swirling in his chest, tears begging to break free, as he clutches onto the bathroom counter. His mind is blank, yet swarming. "Ben?"
He notices her hanging onto the doorframe, "This is my bathroom. Mine."
"I know," she thinks. "I just…" She eyes over him, "What's wrong?" and he shakes his head. "Ben. You can tell me."
He cries, "Why?"
"Why what?"
"You see him out there?" Ben manages. "Telling everyone how great I am?" His voice crackles, "Like he didn't say I sucked all week." He mutters, "Like always."
"You're upset, because your father complemented you," Mal realizes. He doesn't speak, and she steps forward, "Ben. I would have killed for my mother to complement me just once." She watches him sink to the floor and kneels beside him, "Ben. Why is this bothering you so much? Shouldn't you be happy that he finally recognized how good you are?"
"It's just so…" He eyes up, trying to find the word, before he heavily breathes, "Different." instead. "He never says those things to me. It's always just how fucked up and wrong I am." He half laughs, "And I ask why I am the bad guy, because everyone thinks he's such a great man… and I can't find it in me to love him."
Mal frowns, "You don't need to."
"They think I do," he whispers. "My father is just too good for me not to love, and after everything he did for me…" Ben shakes his head, "I want him dead."
"You don't mean that," Mal dismisses.
"Yes," he seethes at her. "I do." He shakily breathes, "I am so sick of this shit, Mal. I'm done with him. I want him gone."
She eyes down for a moment, "What about your mother?" and then he heaves into sobs. She wraps her arms around him, "It's okay." and after a minute his breathing slows. He's hot to the touch, and she holds her hand to his neck; however, then she feels him nip at her neck. "Ben." She moves him away, "You know how I feel about that."
"I want all of you," he inches closer.
Mal holds up a hand, "Ben." as she cautiously shakes her head. "No."
He clenches to his stomach as it growls, "Sorry." and he shakes his head. "You should go, get out before I hurt you."
She hesitates, "What about you?"
Ben eyes down, "I can do a cold bath."
"You're sure?"
"Just go," he softly roars, and he huffs at the pain as she gets up and leaves.
