Chapter 28: Trust me

"Guess who?"

Derek smiled as he recognized the voice and the familiar flowery scent that went with it. For how many years had he not been able to smell lavender without being taken back to the painful memories? It would always be her scent, her very special fragrance.

Now she was here and that made him smile hugely like some shiny moron…

"Meredith!" he greeted her and she gave him a playful smirk. She was carrying something in each hand. "And coffee! You sure know how to make a man happy in the morning."

She smiled at him, handed him one while taking a sip of her own coffee and looking over his shoulder, skimming down at the chart in his hand, not really reading it. He breathed her in, felt her hot breath on his neck…

"You made a special request for me?" Meredith asked, playfully narrowing her eyes, but Derek could tell she wasn't mad. Good.

"See?" he just grinned. "Told you I'd see you sooner than you know…"

"Derek," Meredith giggled, visibly having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Bailey's pissed. And you should know by now that Bailey is not a woman you want to mess with."

"Relax Mer. Bailey's all talk and no action. She wouldn't do anything. And I'm her boss."

"Still," Meredith insisted, locking eyes with him. Were her eyes always that beautiful? "It's bad enough that I'm Ellis Grey's daughter and used to be babysat by the Chief. Now I'm hanging out with a plastics attending and the future of neurology? You can't choose me over others or make exceptions. You're my boss now. There's a line. A big fat line."

They stayed quiet for a moment, Derek contemplating Meredith's words.

"So this line…" he said, flashing her a smile, "Is it imaginary or will I need to get you a marker…"

"Dr. Shepherd! This is inappropriate. You favouring me is inappropriate. Did that ever occur to you?"

Dr. Shepherd? So that's how she wanted it? Derek smirked at her.

"Well Dr. Grey. Since Dr. Webber personally introduced us and has assigned extra hours in neurology for you, I don't believe we have any choice. The Chief want us to work together."

He watched her think about that, something she had clearly forgot in the stress of that situation. Then-

"Damnit, you're right," Meredith scowled under her breath, making him chuckle. She looked up at him and saw a look in his eyes that said I'm always right. "Cocky bastard."

"You know it." Derek took a sip of his coffee and wondered how the hell she knew exactly how he liked it. Meredith was watching him with a nervous expression.

"Sorry, I don't know how you like your coffee, so I just got you my favourite. I can get you a new one. Bone dry? Fancy surgeons like bone dry…"

"This is good," Derek interrupted her, taking another sip to reassure her. "Perfect, actually."

"So what do we do now?" Meredith said, feeling the professional excitement rise in her. She was working with Derek Shepherd, not only the love of her life, but also a brilliant surgeon, a rising star on the neurological night sky.

"That's more like it," Derek approved her new, enthusiastic tone. "I have this mystery case and I wondered if you could take a look at her."

"You want me to take a look at it?" Meredith wondered out loud. "Why?"

"To see how good you are. And because I'm stuck and need a fresh perspective." Derek smiled at her to calm her down as he handed her the patient's chart. "Four eyes are better than two."

"That makes sense," Meredith shrugged. She had a hard time concentrating when he looked at her like that, but she forced herself to read the chart. "Katie Bryce, 17-yearold female. Unexplainable seizures…" She kept muttering to herself.

"Okay," Meredith said when she was absolutely sure she knew everything in the chart. "So what do I do now?"

Derek had been watching her with a half-amused, half-proud smile. Now he only shrugged.

"I don't know," he said in an innocent voice. "You tell me. What do you feel like doing?"

Meredith's brows furrowed for a moment. Wasn't he supposed to guide her through this? He looked like he waited for an answer. She searched her brain for the right thing to do.

"I would have to talk to the patient and her parents," she told him.

"I agree. Page me if you discover anything."

"Wait," she said, "You're not coming with me?"

"Nope," he only answered, smiling brightly at her. "I've already been there and done that. I'll keep thinking about possible reasons for her seizures." He walked away from her with bounce in his steps, signalling for her to page him with news. Meredith hadn't moved. She just stood there, slightly in awe of the responsibility on her shoulders.

"O…kay?" she said to no one in particular and kept a firm grip on the chart while scurrying off to find Katie Bryce's room.

It didn't take her long; Meredith knocked on the door and walked in.

"Good morning Katie," she smiled a professional smile at the young, blonde woman in the bed. She nodded at the people she assumed were the parents who were sitting at chairs on each side of their daughter.

"More doctors?" the girl groaned and picked up a TV remote, impatiently flipping through the channels. "I'm missing my beauty pageant."

"You compete in beauty pageants?" Meredith asked, checking the patient's vitals while trying not to judge her; couldn't quite help it, though.

"Yeah," the girl snorted. Duh. "My special talent is rhythmic gymnastics which is, like, really cool because no one else does it."

"Aha," Meredith distractedly agreed and turned to the woman in the chair. "Mrs Bryce, I know you've been through this already but I need to ask you some questions just to make sure. When did the seizures start?"

Mr and Mrs Bryce answered her questions and Meredith wrote the answers in a notebook.

"Got anything Mer?" Derek asked, beaming at her as she put down her plate next to his in the cafeteria.

"No Der," she grinned and rolled her eyes. Derek knew she hated how their names rhymed.

"You know," Meredith giggled and looked at him. "I'm 99 % sure I know why you didn't come with me to meet the patient."

"Is that so?" he chuckled.

"You just didn't want to hear one more word about rhythmic gymnastics," she accused and he laughed.

"What is it with that, I can't even say it?"

"Am I right?" Meredith asked with a playful smile.

"Maybe," he allowed. She swatted his arm. "But I also knew you could do it yourself. I've heard many good things about you since I got here."

"I guess I'm doing okay," Meredith allowed.

"Where did you go to medical school?" Derek asked as casually as he could manage, forking a piece of lettuce.

He felt Meredith stiffen beside him and he couldn't help but wonder if there was more to it. Why wouldn't she tell him? Was she hiding something from him?

Trying to erase the sudden tension between them, Derek pouted.

"Don't you want to know what I've been up to for the last seven years?"

Meredith giggled and he closed his eyes, listening to her voice.

"You've been an a surgical resident at Mount Sinai with Addison and Mark and naturally didn't have much of a life besides that. You assisted the Dr. Joseph Bryant on several complicated neuro surgeries, as you were his favourite resident. You lived on the Upper East Side in Addison's parent's old apartment. Oh, and you bought that Porsche you always wanted."

Derek opened his eyes and stared at her with astonishment. She blushed a little under his awed gaze.

"How the hell do you know all that?"

Meredith's cheeks went even redder as she realized she had given a lot away. She took a deep breath.

"I've been keeping an eye on you."

"You've… You've been keeping an eye on me for all this time without ever letting me know you were alive?" he said, anger slowly building in his chest.

"Derek," Meredith said. When she looked up, the torment in her eyes was crystal clear; Derek felt himself relax. "Please. Don't. Now right now…"

"Why didn't you contact me?" he asked, his voice steady. She hesitated.

"You were safe. That was all I needed to know."

She seemed so distressed, sitting there, her eyes a little wet.

He would get his answers. Some day. But for now he decided not to push her.

Meredith couldn't eat so she just sat there, making some kind of porridge out of her salad.

She couldn't tell him.

Could she?

Answering to where she had been would be the same as opening up for more serious questions. The inevitable 'why'.

She certainly wasn't ready to tell him that.

He caught her eyes and yet again she drowned in his blue orbs. They were sadder than usual and she hated herself for making him unhappy.

The best thing would be to stay away, leave again and never look back.

She just wasn't strong enough, not when she could see the anxiety in his eyes every time she got up and left his side – afraid that she wasn't coming back.

Meredith simply wasn't capable of letting him go. The thought alone made her heart crack.

Not again.

Derek was searching through her eyes. She was having this troubled look in them, the one he always caught when she was thinking back.

She suddenly stood up and he immediately followed suit.

"Where are you going?" he asked, possessively, before he could stop himself or was even sure he wanted to.

"I'm checking on Katie Bryce," Meredith giggled but there was a serious worry in her voice. "Relax."

"Oh- Okay," Derek sighed, already sad to see her leave. Meredith studied his face for a moment.

"You should go take a nap," she told him, patting her soft hand on his shoulder. "How long have you been here?"

Derek snapped out of his sadness and straightened up.

"Long enough," he sighed. "You're right. I'll go sleep. Page me if you find something."

"Dr," Katie suddenly said and Meredith turned around to face her. "I need to watch the pageant to make sure that Allison doesn't steal my crown but the stupid hospital doesn't have the channel. Can you fix that?"

"I…" Meredith said, trying to buy herself some time. How did you tell a patient that people were actually dying in the hospital and that she didn't have time for silly requests in a respectful manner?

"You know," Katie mumbled, rolling her eyes at the doctor, "When I sprung my ankle a couple of weeks ago, I didn't end up with someone this clueless. And that was like a nurse."

"You sprung your ankle?" Meredith asked, looking up for confirmation from Mr and Mrs Bryce before searching through the chart.

"She did but it was from a minor fall," Mr Bryce said. He gestured to Katie's chart. "I don't even think the doctor put it in there."

"Could it mean something?" Mrs Bryce asked.

"I'm not sure," Meredith admitted and walked out of the room saying, "But there's a chance…"

"Derek. Wake up…"

It was not as much the voice as the gentle touch that woke him up from his slumber. Before Derek opened his eyes, he was already smiling from ear to ear. That unique scent of lavender that flooded his senses generally had that effect on him.

"Derek!" Meredith giggled and couldn't resist combing her fingers through his thick curls. A little content sigh rolled off of his lips. "You're smiling! I know you're awake!"

Derek opened his eyes and stared into her green orbs. They were filled with excitement.

"What a way to wake up," he grinned at her. She grinned back but quickly removed her fingers from his hair and took a couple of steps back. "Why did you wake me?"

"It's Katie Bryce," Meredith said, trying her very best not to look at his bare chest as he got up from the bed and stretched.

"What about her?" Derek yawned, flexing his chest muscles. Her eyes immediately went there.

"Uh…" Meredith took a deep breath and forced herself to look him in the eye. Not helping.

Get it together, Meredith.

"Katie Bryce competes in beauty pageants."

"I know but we still have to help her," Derek smirked. Meredith's mouth twitched.

"She fell during practice a couple of weeks ago. It was a minor fall; the doctor didn't even think to put it in the chart. But she fell and…"

"…And you think something burst? That we missed something on the CT?" Derek asked. "Do you know what the chances are?"

"One in a million," Meredith answered and looked him in the eye. "Trust me."

Trust her?

Derek had no reason in the whole world to trust her. But when he looked at her, her serious pout that was so cute, her hair in a wild knot, he couldn't help it.

Meredith was waiting while he pondered, slowly loosing hope. But then Derek grabbed his lab coat and shrugged it on.

"Let's go."

"Let's go what?"

"Let's go find out if Katie's one in a million."

He decided to trust her anyway.

"I'll be damned," Derek said as he studied the picture. "It's tiny but it's there."

Meredith could breathe again. If she had been wrong she would have spend a lot of money on unnecessary tests. Derek looked up at her and smiled brightly, stepping out of the doctor role for a moment.

"Congratulations, Mer." He patted her on the back. "You just earned the right to scrub in on advanced surgery."

Derek walked over to her frozen frame and put something in her hand, closing her fingers around it.

"This is for you. I had a feeling we'd be scrubbing in together soon."

He left the room with a wave in her direction, bounce in his steps.

Meredith opened her palm and couldn't help but giggle when she saw the soft, synthetic fabric in her palm.

It was a Winnie the Pooh scrub cap.