Relationship Matters by InSilva
Disclaimer: not mine, no way, no how.
A/N: just wanted to reply about Hemingford Grey. s.s. mentioned in a review about it being an alias that featured in a Batman story arc and I thought it behoved (behooved? Sounds rather Centauresque) me to explain where I found the name. I wish it was a Batman homage - that would be so much cooler that the actual. It's actually on a roadsign on the M11 on the way to Stansted Airport. *confesses* I drive an awful lot with my job and sometimes placenames just leap out at me as wonderful must use characters. Sorry. Rather prosaic origin. On plus side, have never yet been tempted to call anyone Give Way. :)
Chapter Twenty-nine: Settling
"You're back!"
The voice sounded almost as delighted as Teresa had been. Rusty looked up to see a white-haired woman with a weathered face beaming down at Danny from the top of the stairs.
"Felicity," Danny acknowledged with a smile. "Come on down and let me introduce you."
She was introduced as Felicity Hudson. Neighbour and friend with a no nonsense handshake and an air of shrewdness that made Rusty think that very little got past her.
"Colleagues," Danny said and Rusty wondered if the description was for Felicity's benefit or Teresa's.
Teresa. Rusty watched as she carefully put all the furniture away in the dolls house. So not what he'd been thinking. Danny's phone calls, the need to speak to her…the hesitation about bringing them into his house… Rusty felt the guilt about what he'd said - about what he'd thought – flood through him.
He looked over to where Rick was stood, beer bottle in hand, leaning up against the wall by the kitchen door, watching him. Rick's face was blank but his eyes told Rusty that he knew and was enjoying Rusty's discomfort. Well, Rusty deserved that and more. And it wasn't like Rick knew what he'd said about Teresa, unless…unless Danny had told him… Rusty bit his lip and felt the burn of mortification at the very idea.
No. No. Rick wouldn't have been able to keep it to himself. There would have been digs or asides or something. He stared at Rick again. Rick seemed right at home. Obviously knew his way round. Obviously a frequent visitor. The only time he'd looked vaguely unsettled was when Felicity had acknowledged him with a polite but curt "Rick" and he'd mumbled a response and not met her eyes. Rusty wondered…
"Right." Felicity was taking charge. "I've made the beds up. Teresa and I can go and make dinner while you boys get your bags in from the car and relax. I'm sure you'd all like a beer."
There wasn't any particular emphasis. She wasn't looking anywhere near Rick and there was no castigation in her voice but Rusty saw Rick jerk upright as if she'd berated him loudly.
Danny caught Felicity's hand in his.
"Thanks," he said and there was so much in there and it seemed to Rusty to be about so much more than the practical.
Felicity flushed bright pink.
"Any time and you know it," she muttered.
"C'mon, kid, let's go and get the beers." Rick steered Ed towards the kitchen.
"Let's get the bags," Danny suggested without looking at Rusty and they headed out to the car.
They were on their own and he had to say something and he had to say it now.
"I'm sorry," he blurted out.
Danny's eyes were on the holdall he was pulling out of the trunk.
"What about?" Low and fierce.
Oh, not…
"About what I- damn it, Danny, look at me!"
Slowly, Danny straightened up and turned round and his eyes were locked off and his face was tight.
"Danny, I'm sorry for what I said about Teresa. About you and Teresa. I was so out of line, I couldn't even see the line."
Urgent and open and honest and he stared desperately at Danny and willed him to believe him, to accept the apology.
Danny held his stare and gave nothing away, no hint of what he was thinking and Rusty couldn't read him at all.
"Two rooms on the right at the top of the stairs," Danny said finally and turned and walked back into the house.
Rusty closed the door in time to hear Danny say, "Teresa? Felicity?"
As the women arrived, Danny rummaged in his holdall and produced two carrier bags.
"Oh, Danny! A present!" Teresa sounded delighted. "What is it?"
"Take a look," he suggested.
She reached into the bag and pulled out a small pink fluffy dog and let out a little squeal.
"Dog needs a name," Danny prompted and a look of intense concentration appeared on Teresa's face.
"Eduardo," she said decisively and Rick had walked back in from the kitchen in time to hear her. He let out a snort and Teresa turned round at once.
"I like the name. Don't you think it's a good name?" she demanded.
"It's a great name," Rick agreed hastily and then looked over at Rusty and added with meaning, "Dog looks just like an Eduardo."
Rusty felt his hands clenching around the handles of the luggage he was carrying.
"Danny, you shouldn't have." Felicity was smiling too and holding a large bottle of expensive perfume. "This is wasted on an old woman like me."
"Felicity, you're ageless," Danny told her gallantly as Rusty climbed the stairs.
"Hey, Eduardo," he heard Rick calling out. "You got a namesake."
Rusty pushed open the door to the first bedroom that overlooked the front of the house and hit the lights. Dropping Ed's bag on the end of the bed, he looked round at clean cream walls and blue drapes, an old wooden wardrobe and an enormous picture of snow-covered mountains hanging above the bed. It seemed out of balance in the room and Rusty guessed it was maybe a wedding present that had found its home in a little-used room.
He turned the lights off and moved on to the next room. This one, by contrast to the minimalist lines of the first one, had shelves that were full of dolls and stuffed toys and other things… Rusty dropped his bag on the floor and curiously picked up a snowstorm. New York: the Statue of Liberty, a Big Apple and a yellow cab were surrounded by little white flakes. He stared at it for a moment and then carefully, he put it back where he'd found it.
Back down in the living area, Eduardo smiled brightly at him and pushed a beer into his hand.
"Danny said-"
"I said we have a little while before dinner," Danny cut across him. "Thought we could talk through tomorrow."
"Sounds good," Rusty nodded and there was no challenge, there was no argument and there was still the awkward and the apologetic there beneath the layers if you knew where to look.
Rick led them through to the couches at the back of the house.
"Hemingford Grey," Danny began without ceremony. "We have his address. We know he has Doug Quentin's Canaletto. We need more information."
"Recce his place," Rick said immediately. "We get a run out and look at the lie of the land."
"What about Hemingford himself?" Eduardo asked. "Rusty always says we find out more about the man and we'll find a way in."
"That's the way it works," Rick smiled, taking a swig of beer. "You remember that time in Stamford, Danny? With the butterfly collector? What was his name again?"
"Eddie Kendrick," Danny said, sitting back in his seat.
"I must have chased down a hundred butterflies," Rick laughed. "Then Danny pointed out we didn't actually need the butterflies. We just had to let Kendrick think we had them. Couldn't have told me that sooner."
"We had a job like that in Calais," Eduardo said. "Fossil collector. I spent hours on a beach before Rusty said we just needed to create the illusion."
Rick and Eduardo continued down memory lane and neither seemed to notice that Hemingford Grey was no longer the subject of conversation and that neither Danny nor Rusty were contributing.
It had been a relief when Teresa appeared and announced that the meal was ready.
"Come on," she laughed and seized Rusty's hand. "We mustn't let it get cold!"
He allowed himself to be pulled up and tried to ignore the immediate tension he sensed in Danny.
"Teresa, honey…" Danny was there, stepping in between them, breaking the connection, taking her hand and leading her away. "Let's go and sit down."
Dinner found Danny at the head of the table, Teresa on his left, Rick on his right. Rusty sat next to Rick and looked across the table at Ed, saying something light and funny to Teresa.
The talk about the job before dinner had been awkward as hell. Danny hadn't been himself. He had been full of staccato sentences and he hadn't looked anywhere near Rusty. He'd sat back and let Rick run the discussion. Not that he, Rusty, had been any more forthcoming. Somehow, there was still something unsaid, something between Danny and himself and it needed to be sorted, it needed to be put right. And the way Danny had got in between him and Teresa…like he was worried about Rusty getting anywhere near his wife…he swallowed.
Rusty felt a hand press against his and surprised, he looked up to see Felicity on his other side smiling at him.
"You look like an interesting young man," she told him. "I pride myself on being able to identify this quality in people."
"Maybe I'm just faking," he said lightly.
"That would be interesting in itself," she smiled.
Felicity saved him at the dinner. She found out he'd lived in Europe and was suddenly full of questions about people and places and for the most part, Rusty had been soft and charming and able to keep his attention on her. That way he didn't have to look anywhere near Danny.
"Right. Let's clear the plates away and bring dessert in," Felicity said and as Teresa made to get to her feet, "no, no. You stay next to Danny. He hasn't seen you in a while. Rusty here can help me."
He took his cue and stood up and gathered together the crockery and cutlery and followed Felicity out to the kitchen.
"Now," Felicity said when they were on their own, "I can see you're ill at ease, young man, and I don't like seeing people uncomfortable." She frowned. "Is this about Teresa? Because-"
"It's not about her," he said hurriedly and then corrected himself, "it's not completely about her."
"She's-"
"-she's lovely," Rusty interrupted. "In every way."
He'd looked over a couple of times at the beautiful child-woman who was full of smiles and he'd cursed himself again for the hurtful words he'd thrown at Danny. Words that it didn't seem Danny was in a hurry to forget.
Felicity's eyes were sharp and on him and he was suddenly reminded of Saul at his most gimlet-fierce. He opened his mouth to deflect, to distract and instead found himself telling the truth.
"I said some things I shouldn't. Before we got here. Before…before."
Before he'd met Teresa.
"To Danny?"
He nodded.
"You apologised yet?"
He nodded again.
"Well, I can't see why Danny wouldn't accept that. I'm sure you didn't say whatever you said out of malice."
Not malice. But he'd wanted to hurt. He'd wanted to twist the knife in Danny like Danny had twisted the knife in him.
"It was wrong," Rusty said in a low voice. "And it's still wrong. And I don't know how to put it-"
He saw Felicity's eyes travel over his shoulder and he turned to see Danny in the doorway.
"Came in search of dessert," Danny explained. "Eduardo thought Rusty might have eaten it all."
"It's here," Felicity grabbed cheesecake and dishes and headed past Danny and back to the table.
Rusty made to follow her. He couldn't deal with Danny, brooding and unreadable. Danny's hand on his arm stopped him and drew him with him back into the kitchen.
"Look, it's not-"
Danny broke off and looked like he was trying to marshal his words. Rusty stared at him and glimpsed turmoil within.
"You coming, Danny?" Rick's voice floated through.
"We're there," Danny answered and still they stood, Danny's hand on his arm, Danny's eyes boring into his.
"Later," Danny said eventually, reluctantly and Rusty exhaled slowly and nodded.
Cheesecake was delicious and finished and Felicity pushed her chair back.
"Well, I have to be making tracks, everyone."
"I'll walk you over," Danny offered and Felicity shook her head.
"Not necessary. You have guests-"
"I'll walk you," Rusty said quietly and spontaneously and she smiled at him.
"Alright."
It was mostly about doing the right and polite thing and only partly about an escape. That's what he told himself and ignored the way he breathed easier once he was out of the house.
"Sort this out with Danny," Felicity said abruptly, linking her arm through his. "You tell him how you feel, he'll understand, I'm sure."
"Don't know if it's that easy," Rusty smiled. "We… I think I must have crossed the line badly."
Felicity peered at him through the moonlit darkness. "Keep trying, son. Danny's a good man. He's worth the effort."
They arrived at her front porch and she hesitated.
"Are you boys going to be working on something highly illegal and confidential that a silly old woman like me isn't supposed to know about?"
Rusty stared and she grinned.
"Oh, I know. Danny knows I know though we keep up the pretence that I don't. Anyway, reason I'm asking is that there are four of you. Strikes me you'll get on better if you have more than Danny's car to get around in."
Lines of gratitude and thank you and not to worry and that they could manage started to fall out of Rusty but Felicity was already striding towards the garage.
"There you go," she said, flinging the doors open and hitting the lights. "This is Bessie."
And Rusty gazed open-mouthed on the light blue mint condition Ford Mustang with deep and sudden love.
"She was my husband's," Felicity explained. "I don't drive her much but she's serviced regularly and runs like a dream. You can borrow her if you like."
Rusty found his voice.
"You're putting an awful lot of trust in someone you only met tonight. Especially someone who might be engaged in the highly illegal and confidential side of life."
"Anyone who talks about Rome with such love for the place has a soul and feeling," Felicity said. "And judging by the look on your face, you'll take good care of her."
"I will," he said fervently.
"Good. Come on inside and get the keys."
He wished Felicity a goodnight and stepped outside, staring down at the keys in his hand. The car was a classic. Already, he was thinking about a long stretch of road and opening her up-
"Hey."
Rusty looked up to see Danny standing at the foot of the steps.
"Teresa and the others are clearing away. Thought I'd come and find you."
He walked down the steps till he was at the bottom and facing Danny.
"Thought we could walk on the beach for a bit," Danny went on.
"Romantic stroll in the moonlight?"
Danny crooked a smile and then it vanished. "Want to clear the air," he said and held out a beer.
Rusty took it. "Well, I'm in favour."
Coming home to Teresa had been a cause of mixed emotions. On the one hand, he wanted to see her again. Time apart, especially so soon after time apart, was painful. But then there was the fact that he was bringing strangers home with him. Strangers who couldn't be relied on to behave like Rick.
Danny had felt his heart grow heavy every mile closer to Teresa they were. He thought about Rusty's words, cruel and designed to hurt and he'd thought about how Rusty might react to the reality of Teresa and he never, never wanted to expose Teresa to any kind of ridicule or mockery. Part of him could see Rusty's face twisting into a sneer and a few smart lines falling out of him and Danny couldn't bear it.
And then they'd arrived and…and Eduardo had been wonderful and immediate and accepting and Rusty had stood like he was in shock and Danny knew this had been a mistake.
But Rusty had been all about the apology and the very words "I'm sorry" had brought out the defensive in Danny. Because pity was never going to be an option. Rusty had insisted and Danny hadn't been able to handle the earnest and the sincere. Somehow, it was easier to deal with a Rusty who didn't understand.
At dinner, he'd focused on Teresa. And then he'd overheard Rusty speaking to Felicity in the kitchen.
"It was wrong. And it's still wrong."
Guilt had flooded through him and he'd had to explain but cheesecake had gotten in the way. Now? Now, he'd got the opportunity.
They walked down to the beach and slowly along the shoreline towards Danny's house.
"The things you said," Danny began.
"Danny, I said I was-"
"Not those things," Danny interrupted. "I know you're sorry. I know you didn't mean…I know why you said them. It was about me, not Teresa."
There was a silence.
"I'm sorry about that too," Rusty offered and Danny smiled.
"No, you're not. The words maybe but not the reason why you said them. You were trying to hurt me. Because I hurt you. Best form of defence."
Rusty opened and closed his mouth and settled for taking a swig of beer.
"The other things. The things about me not being everything I can be."
Danny's eyes were up at the stars and the moon.
"Oh, Danny…" Sorry but not sorry. Not sorry because…
"It's true," Danny said softly. "Scott…" He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them again. "Scott said once that I was going to be amazing." Danny smiled and then the smile faded. "He never really understood when I got out of the game to be with Teresa. What you said-"
"Danny-"
"-no. Let me finish. What you said…and when you challenge me…Rusty, I haven't felt like that in a long time. It's not comfortable. It's not an easy place to be."
It made him feel alive in ways that he couldn't enumerate but that wasn't the point.
They'd stopped on the beach with the lake lapping up against the shore and he was looking at Rusty now and he wasn't completely sure if he was speaking to Rusty, to Scott or to himself.
"It's just that you're talking about a man that I can never be. I can't take stupid risks. I can't…" And the memory of the last time he had flashed through him. "You're asking too much of me."
"You're asking too much of me," Danny said and Rusty held his gaze for the longest time.
"I understand, Danny, better than I did and it's OK to be frightened," he said softly.
Not frightened for yourself. I get that.
"Even so," Rusty went on, "there are risks and there are risks. You get yourself a good detail man and-"
"-now you sound like Scott-"
"-well, maybe he had a point. Rick…" Rusty waved a hand in frustration at the moon. "You could do so much better. Danny, why do you hang around with him?"
Danny's eyes closed off at once. Rick was obviously not a topic up for discussion.
"Alright," Rusty said reluctantly. "Alright. Let's focus on the job in hand."
But his eyes told Danny that he wasn't going to let it drop.
They'd all said goodnights and Teresa had turned in and Rick and Eduardo and Rusty had followed her up. Rusty had glanced curiously down at Danny.
"You not heading up to bed?"
"In a while," Danny said dismissively. "Just want to tidy up."
In the bedroom, Rusty looked round at the dolls and the toys and the other souvenirs and he saw… Danny's way of saying to Teresa that however far away he went, however often he left her, he never forgot her and he never would.
So much love. So much forever.
SomeWhere…SomeTime…
"You can't change-"
"-I know." Fierce and sulking and angry and anxious. "But I can warn…"
The room. The room above Fat Joe's and there'd been Willoughby and there'd been bullets and he was lying on the ground, unable to move. And Mitch lay dead and Saul was being taken away from him and he couldn't do a thing to stop it and then it was as if someone had poured water over the living picture. Mitch became Rick and Saul became Danny and still there was so, so much pain and he couldn't move, he couldn't move at all and all he could do was stare at Danny and will him with his eyes to know every last detail about how he felt and then Danny was gone, bundled out of the room and he knew he would never see him again.
And then it was as if Danny disappearing was a catalyst and he could move, even though it hurt so, so badly, and he dragged himself over to where Rick lay and he cradled his body in his arms and wept like he would never stop...
"Hey…hey…"
A hand on his shoulder and he came to with a start.
"Ed?" Blinking and hazy and trying to sit up.
"S'me. Danny."
"Oh…" He rubbed his eyes and the shape on the edge of the bed resolved itself indeed into Danny.
"You OK? I was on my way to bed and you sounded…"
Rusty grimaced. He could imagine what he sounded like. Whimpering and soft little noises. The nightmare hadn't been in his head for ages. At least five years. And this was some new twist…some twist he couldn't quite remember…
"Just a bad dream," he said and shrugged away Danny's concern. He checked his watch. "It's two in the morning. You're only just coming up?"
Danny stood up and gave an easy smile. "Well, either it's exceptionally tidy downstairs or I fell asleep."
"Yeah. I'm going to give that another go."
"Sounds like a plan. See you in the…see you later."
"Sure. And…thanks."
"No problem."
Rusty watched him walk out of the room and there was a moment of almost and then the memory wisped tantalisingly away and he lay back down and closed his eyes.
