Late November, we arrived, back in France. We were in Camp Mourmelon. The weather was miserable; it was almost as bad as the English weather. But only almost. It rained a lot but it was November after all. But what was a little rain? I'd rather have been in Mourmelon then back out on the field in Holland. Holland was a beautiful country filled with incredible people but it was hard to remember it that way after seeing so much death there. The death of our own men, the death of our enemy, the death of the Dutch...all of it.
Camp Mourmelon had been our home for a number of days by this point. Our Company was now predominately replacements leaving very few 'originals'. We often marched from one end of the Camp to the other so our petty CO "Foxhole Norman" could inspect us to make sure we were 'still in shape'.
I had been called in to Winters office. Initially, I was thrilled to have a chance to talk to him. Since his promotion, we hardly ever got to see him.
I was wondering through the corridor leading up to Winters office when I could hear a distinctive Phili accent. I immediately recognised it to Bill Guarnere. Oh Wild Bill Guarnere. He had a bike accent and had to be sent to hospital for a while.
I turned to go through the open door to Winters office when I collided with Guarnere.
"Heyy kid" he exclaimed when he figured out who had just clumsily ran into him.
I raised my eyebrows in acknowledgment "Welcome back Gonorrhoea"
He ruffled my loose hair before making his way back down the corridor.
"Oh, come in!" Winters looked up from one of his many papers and called me into his office
I smiled awkwardly at Nixon and Welsh who were sat watching me. Nixon was flopped out on a nice comfy arm chair and Welsh had a nice steaming cuppa in one hand and a smoke in the other. Boy what I would have given...
"You wanted to see me, Sir?" I stood to attention.
Winters smirked shyly and dismissed my salute with a small nod. He shuffled about with the many papers that he had littered across his desk.
Nixon snorted and said "You see, Shorty, it ain't all that great, being at such a high rank"
Winters shook his head and smiled. I figured Winters was used to these sorts of comments from Nixon.
"What do you mean, Sir?" I asked.
Nixon lowered himself deeper into the chair and stretched "Well...anyone would believe that Dick here" Winters gave him a glance and Nixon corrected himself "Major Winters has an awful lot of writing to do"
I smirked "I see"
Winters laughed "I'm sure we can both assume that Lieutenant Nixon here is just jealous"
"I have to agree, Sir" I winked at Nixon.
Nixon shook his head sarcastically and cried "You might see me talking down to a higher authority Wilson but you most certainly cannot do it to me"
At first I wasn't sure if Nixon was being sincere. I looked to Harry Welsh and he winked at me, signalling that all was right.
"Anyway" Winters cut in. He had found what he was looking for. He handed me a brown parcel wrapped with thin string.
I took the parcel cautiously "What is it, Sir?" I asked.
The cheery atmosphere seemed to drain from the room along with the sweet expression that was on Winters charming face. Winters fidgeted with some papers, keeping his eyes down. I looked to Welsh, hoping that he could give me some answers.
Welsh put down his cup "We think..." he cleared his throat "...it might be from your parents" Welsh screwed up his face, almost like he was flinching at the word.
"Parents" I said allowed. I looked down at the brown parcel in my shaky hands. I wanted to know what was inside it but I was so scared. No doubt there would be a letter attached to it. What if they hate me?
I could feel Winters' concerned eyes on me. Nixon coughed awkwardly, contaminating the eerie silence that had fallen on the office.
"I'm sure it will be okay, Wilson" Winters said calmly and I looked up from the daunting parcel to see his comforting smile.
I managed a small smile before I saluted and quickly left.
I ran out of the building, as fast as my little legs could take me. The down pour of heavy rain hit me, drenching me instantly as I sprinted towards my barrack. But I didn't mind. It disguised the tears. Ignoring everyone else in the room, I plonked myself down on my bed, threw the parcel on the floor and hid my face in my pillow. I wanted the bed to just swallow me up so I'd never have to open that damn parcel.
A sudden hand touched my back, making me jump. I was confronted by Liebgott's gorgeous face. Initially, his face was lit up with a perfect sideways smirk but then he saw my tear stained face and it soon washed away.
"Whats the matter?" he asked. He edged himself on to my bed. I grunted into my pillow and pointed in the general direction of where I threw the parcel. I felt the springs loosen a little as Lieb retrieved the pesky parcel. I rolled onto my back and sat up. Shaking the box next to his ear, Lieb sat back down. "What is it?"
I shrugged "I don't know, but it's from darling Mama and Papa" I said sarcastically.
He looked down at the parcel in his clutch and said "Oh"
"Yeah" I drawled.
"Are you going to open it?" Lieb asked and pushed the parcel into my hands.
I shook my head and tried to blink back the tears "I can't" I whispered "Can you?"
Without a word, his finger tips stroked my palms as he gently pulled the parcel from my grip. He raised his eyebrows at me as if to say "Are you ready" and I nodded. But I wasn't ready. How could anybody be ready? He pulled the string. My heart raged in my chest. He threw the string onto the bed. What if they hate me? He turned over the parcel to find an opening. Or worse, what if they disown me? He found the opening and began to rip open the parcel. How could I have been so stupid? The parcel was open. Lieb crumpled up the brown paper in his hands and tossed it over his shoulder. On his lap remained a mahogany box and a letter.
"Shall I open it?" Lieb asked, quietly, gesturing to the mystery box.
I shook my head "No" I gulped "The letter first"
Lieb set the box down between us and unrolled the letter.
"Read it aloud?" he asked. I nodded. He exhaled loudly and read quietly to me "Dear Rose" My heart skipped a beat then shook violently. "How could you..." Lieb stopped and looked at me for approval to carry on. I nodded "Why would you desert your family like that...after everything we've done for you..." Lieb flinched at the words as he read them aloud.
Tears started to pour from my wearier eyes "Carry on" I mumbled.
Lieb dropped the letter and pulled me into his arms. The room fell silent when the rest of the men sitting at the back of the room on Skip's bed playing craps dropped their cards and focused on us. Lieb looked over his shoulder and their conversation picked up again.
"You don't have to do this" he whispered into my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my neck "You don't have to read it till you're good and ready"
"I have to" I mumbled and whipped away my tears "Continue...please"
He sighed before reaching down and picking up the letter. He kept me in his arms as he continued "Why would you join the army? Girls..." he hesitated "girls aren't supposed to be anything but housewives; I thought I told you that"
I flinched at the memories. It was at that point that I knew who had written the letter. My Papa used to take me hunting out in the fields on the way into Aldbourne during the depression. Mama never liked it. She deemed hunting as an exclusively male sport. She was always traditional in thinking.
"How do you expect to find a husband now?" Lieb shook his head at what he was reading "I say this...only because I love you Rose"
My heart sank. Guilt isn't even a strong enough world for what I was feeling. I knew my Mama only wanted what she thought was best for me.
"Please darling, come home to us...come home to your family" Lieb searched my face before saying "I love you Rose...From Mama"
I buried my head into Lieb's shoulder and exploded into an uncontrollable state of tears, making it hard for the others to ignore the situation.
"Heyyy, it's okay, Rose" Lieb stroked my back and rested his chin on my shoulder "it's going to be okay"
I felt so unbelievably selfish. I didn't regret joining the army that is something I'll never do but the incredible guilt was so hard to deal with that I just wanted it to disappear. I didn't want to feel anything. I wanted to be numb.
"Lieb" I said, my speech muffled by his shoulder and a wall of my own hair which was clinging to my face. He gently moved my head off of his shoulder and brushed my long hair out of my face strand by strand "Thank you...for reading it"
He shook his head and looked at his hand that was still clutching the letter "You're welcome" he whispered, still staring at the paper. He probably wanted to burn it. I'm sure that a few years ago, before I joined the war, Lieb and the other men would have agreed with my Mama. But things had changed. I had proved that they could. It was stupid but I was kind of hoping that my Mama would have been proud of me for rebelling against the norm that history has given us women.
I let my head collapse against his shoulder and he ran his hand through my damp hair. He spiralled my locks around his fingers and rested his head on mine.
"Can you open the box?" I asked, suddenly remembering. I didn't want to know what was inside it but I had to.
He fidgeted around the bed the claim the mystery mahogany box. He placed it on his lap and we both stared at it. What could it be? What would my mother possibly want to give me?
Lieb lifted the lid. I couldn't look at the box so I watched Lieb's face for answers. His brow furrowed for a brief second then his eyes lit up.
"What?" I demanded "Is it good? Or is it that bad that you have to pretend it's ok?" Lieb placed the box on my lap but I still wouldn't let my eyes leave his face.
"Look" he said with a smile "Trust me"
I closed my eyes for a brief second "I trust you" I whispered then looked down.
There in the box was a letter from my father and my Papa's Webley Revolver. I drew out the gun and let my hand clutch the smooth handle.
"This was my Papa's revolver" I whispered, still eyeing up the weapon that was in my shaky hands "He used it during the last war"
"It's a beauty" Liebgott cried, eyes transfixed on the incredible gun. I put the gun back in the box and pulled out the letter. I looked to Liebgott who nodded enthusiastically "Do you want me to read it?"
"No" I shook my head and unrolled the letter "I'll do it" I took a deep breath in and out before reading "Dearest Rose-"
"No, you don't have to read it out loud" Liebgott cried "I'll go back over there with Luz and the rest of the guys so you can have some privacy" he stood up but I grabbed his arm.
"NO!" I cried and everyone stared at us "please don't leave me" I lowered my voice and their conversation picked up again.
"Okay" Lieb smiled and sat back down "in that case I'm not going anywhere"
I just wanted to hug him for the rest of that day. Having him with me made me feel so much better. Of course, I couldn't do that because the other men would make up stupid stories about us cough cough Luz. It was all because we were so close but that was because we were best friends, of course.
"Okay" I exhaled then continued with the letter "Rose, I'm so sorry about your Mama...you know what she is like..." I cleared my throat and tried to swallow back the tears "...she only wants what she thinks is best for you. I just want you to know that I am... so proud of you" there was no point fighting the tears at that point.
Liebgott stroked my back reassuringly as I tried to stop the tears from drowning me.
"Shorty" I heard Luz who was standing in front of my bed. His usual perky face was distorted with worry "I'm sorry, I wasn't going to bother you but I couldn't take not knowing anymore"
I smiled behind the tears "It's okay, Luz"
Luz plonked his butt on the other side of me and put his arm around me. That was all I needed, my best friends at my time of need. But there was one missing. David Webster. My Daniel.
"It's my parents" I managed to stammer out "My Mama...she...she didn't take it so well but my Papa..." I handed Luz the Webley revolver, sure enough, it would explain itself.
His eyes almost blew up in his skull. He stared down at the gun in his hands and smirked as he ran his hands over it. "Corr blimey" Luz said in his best English impression which made Lieb and I chuckle.
"It's great, isn't it" I said and claimed back my gun "Could kill a few Krauts with that"
"Yeahh" Luz cried "but maybe more than a few"
"Do you want to continue with the letter?" Lieb asked. I had almost forgotten.
"Oh yeah!" I cried and reclaimed the letter that was sat on my lap "Rose dear, please be safe my child. You're the only child we have and I never want anything to change that...I trust that you are in capable hands of the yanky boys" Luz and Lieb snorted and I rolled my eyes "I know that they will keep you safe, not that you need much looking after because you are a strong independent women"
"Oh God" Luz moaned jokily "Rose don't listen to that, we don't want your head to blow up any bigger"
I elbowed him lightly in the ribs and carried on reading aloud "I love you more than anything in the world. Please use my trusty Revolver to keep you safe, I know it kept me safe at war, hopefully it can do the same for you...Come home to us soon...all my love...Papa"
I wanted to cry happy tears but I kept the tears back. I had done enough crying for one day; instead I wore a bright beaming smile on my face.
"Feeling better?" Lieb smiled at my beaming face.
"Much better" I cried.
My Mama may not have been on my side but at least I had my Papa and his trusty gun.
A/N
Thank you for reading! Sorry it's a little short.
laia- thank you for your review! You said you wanted to more so I hope you liked this chapter.
FallynAshe- Thanks for the review :) I just had to have Luz interrupting with his funny little jokes. We all have to love him.
Alessandra- Thankyou for your review :) I'm glad you are liking it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, also.
Just a quick note to say that I went to Aldbourne yesterday! I only live about 40 minutes away so I just had to take a look around. It was great.
Anyway, thanks for reading as always and reviews are always appreciated :) :)
